A Shakugan no Shana III Final Parody
by xxxDreamingflowerxxx
Summary: Season 3 of the anime in parody format! Otaku Shana, love obsessed Yuji, overprotective yangire Wilhelmina, drunken Margery, ex-prisoner Rebecca, Khamsin with the brain of a retarded 6 year old. Pedo's, crazy professors, traumatized Tomogara and Flame Haze, a demon in the form of a nun, gluttons, samurais, ninjas and many more!
1. A new beginning and more discoveries

Hi everyone xxxDreamingflowerxxx here this is my first fanfic. I got the idea of writing this story when I was saying monologues with my sis while watching Shakugan no Shana Final. Most of those were still stuck in my head and so this story was born. I hope you'll like it.

Disclaimer: I don't own Shakugan no Shana, if I did there would have been more YujixShana moments.

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><p><strong>A Shakugan no Shana III Final parody<strong>

Chapter 1: A new beginning and more discoveries

**Yuji's POV**

It feels like I've been here for hours, no days I don't know, but it feels like I've been here very long. It's dark here and the only thing I see is myself in the form of a blue flame... wait that's not normal, don't tell me… I died? NOOOOOOO! This can't be! I was finally planning to confess to Shana and do couples stuff with her, like dating, kissing, giving her presents and make out and make out and gosh I would finally be able to become a man. This is the worst Christmas ever.

I started cursing to myself, when suddenly I heard a voice; "Why so sad Sakai Yuji?"

I turned around and I saw nothing; "Whose voice is that? Are you a girl or a boy? How do you know my name and where am I? Am I dead? Is this heaven or hell? Why is this happening to me?"

The voice remained silent for a moment before it began to talk again; "Well to answer your questions, I am your conscience, so it's obvious that I am not a girl, no you're not dead, that question should be obvious then too, this is inside of the Reiji Maigo and the reason this is happening to you is because the time of awakening is near."

I was frozen by the pile of information I had gotten, how the hell is someone supposed to follow all the things he says? "Uhm excuse me, but I have no idea what you just said. I only understood something about the Reiji Maigo and someone who's going to wake up? So am I dreaming? Yeah that's it it's still December the 23rd and I am still in bed sleeping and having this weird dream for no reason."

The voice sighed, "This is going to take a while."

**Shana's POV**

The Christmas break is finally over and still no sign of Yuji. I am training at Yuji's garden, after the events on Christmas Eve I can't take it easy.

Who knows when Bal Masqué will appear again and Senpen Sydonay just gives me the creeps. I heard he got arrested in the past for molesting children, and the last time we met I started to feel chills down my spine.

Just when I was finishing my practice Chigusa appeared. "Shana-chan you can take a bath after you have finished your training and have some snacks and drink when you're done."

I turned around to face her "Okay and thank you very much Chigusa." She smiled at me and went inside.

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><p>"Thank you very much for the tea Chigusa it was delicious." I said after I finished my tea.<p>

Chigusa looked at me "No problem Shana-chan I am glad you liked it and I am sorry for all the troubles my stupid son is causing to you. I really wonder where he went, he's been gone for days and if he keeps this up he'll have to repeat this year all over again and I hoped he'd do his homework properly, graduate finish university, get a job and get married."

She looked at me with eyes that were saying you know what I mean, right?

"Uhm I am sure that's the wish of every parent." I sweat dropped, these kinds of conversations always make me nervous, since I am a Flame Haze these kinds of things are supposed to have no meaning to me, but why am I still so nervous? Yuji is still gone, who knows where he's hanging around and when he'll come back. "Well I guess I am heading for school then. Have a nice day Chigusa" I said casually.

She smiled "You too Shana-Chan and if you find Yu-chan tell him to come home and make sure he will get his homework done. If he doesn't come back before his little brother is born I'm going to kill him."

I signed "Yuji you're so going to get it when you come back. I paused for a moment, "Wait Chigusa knows she's going to have a son? How did she?

I was suddenly interrupted by Alastor; "I think she read it on the Internet. You know how fans are these days when it comes to spoilers." Alastor is the Guze no Ou that I made a contract with, known as the Tenjou no Gouka by other Flame Haze and Tomogara and one of the true gods of Guze; Tenbatsushin. He's very nice and gives me advice when I need it, but sometimes he makes weird remarks. He uses a Cocytus to communicate, which I carry always with me.

I sighed again "What's wrong with this world?" I continued my walk to school in silence.

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><p>School was just like always except for the fact that…. a certain person is absent.<p>

Ogata-San walked up to me. "Good morning Shana-chan and a happy new year. How was your holiday?"

"It was fine I guess." I replied.

Ogata-san looked at me suspiciously. "Has something happened to you? You look a bit down and how come Sakai-kun didn't come with you? You two always come to class together."

"Well….. he….."

"Ohh well I am sure he had something important to do we'll give him his homework when he gets back."

I just stared at her in amazement. I think I need to ask Alastor for an explanation later.

The teacher came in with a refreshed face "Okay class happy new year, now let's make this year even better. Everyone go to your seat we're getting started, Let's start with the absences. Has anyone seen Sakai?"

"No we haven't sensei, but maybe he's just ditching school."

"Hmm, well if he comes back, tell him I'll have an assignment for him as punishment for skipping. It may be the first day, but that's no excuse for skipping classes, Hirai I'll give you the assignment and make sure to give it to Sakai including his homework."

I looked at the teacher. "I will sensei."At our lunch break we were sitting all together at my table.

"So Shana-chan you still haven't heard from Sakai-kun?" Yoshida asked me with a worried look on her face.

"I am sorry Kazumi. It almost looks like he ran away from home. Chigusa is worried about him."

"Hahahaha, maybe he ran away because he didn't want to face the one he'd dump on Christmas Eve, so he decided to hide till you'll all forget." Satou was really laughing hard when he said that.

"Oi Satou, that's very mean to say! Sakai-kun isn't a coward; he's the person who'll confront his problems no matter what it is!" Kazumi almost yelled.

Ike was just sitting with us and listening to the conversation while enjoying his lunch and so was Tanaka.

Ike took a bite from him sandwich and after swallowing it he spoke. "Don't worry guys I am sure he's doing fine and whatever his reason is, I am sure he'll come back and explain everything to us."

*coughrunawaycough* Satou said.

Everyone glared at him.

**Yuji's POV**

"So do you finally understand Sakai Yuji?"

"Uhm." I was still trying to set straight everything the voice told me; "So I am not dead? And this isn't heaven or hell? I am inside the Reiji Maigo, but why and how can I talk to my conscience?"

The voice sighed and suddenly a silver flame appeared. I guess that's where the voice came from. "We've been through this already. The awakening remember?"

I blinked a few times. "Who's waking up?"

"Gosh I can't believe how you were able to survive so long. I guess it's thanks to the Enpatsu Shakugan no Uchite. What I mean is your awakening."

*I blinked again. "But I am already awake."

"Please someone kill me before I am killing him."

"How can I get killed by my conscience?"

"It's a metaphor you idiot!"

"Okay okay I got it." Gosh what a rude guy.

"Now let me explain it better. Just see me as your alter ego, the one that's been sleeping for years and is now finally awakening. You were transported into the Reiji Maigo before all of your power of existence disappeared thanks to me and now it's time to awaken as the Sairei no Hebi and become one."

"Wait how can I be a snake if I was born as a human and later turned into a Mystes? And didn't you say… "

"Just forget that plot hole, if you keep on like this we can never continue the story."

"Alright, but can you please explain the rest then?" This guy confuses me so much.

"We've been through this for about a million times. A part of your existence was sealed in the Reiji Maigo for thousands of years, because of the Flame Haze. Now thanks to the actions of Bal Masqué, you're able to awake the part of you that has been sleeping for years and finish the plan of Bal Masqué that were interrupted by the Flame Haze in the past."

I sweat dropped "… Can… I just pretend I understood that and just move on with the next explanation?"

"OH FOR GOD'S SAKE SERIOUSLY I'M SURPRISED THAT NONE OF YOUR FRIENDS TRIED TO KILL THEMSELVES AFTER HANGING OUT ONE HOUR WITH YOU AND I'VE BEEN STUCK HERE FOR DAYS WITH YOU AND I ALREADY WISH I COULD KILL MYSELF!"

"Aren't snakes supposed to be like quiet? And not talking and why are you looking like a silver flame?"

"…AAAAAAAAAHHHHHH !"

**Magery Daw's POV**

I wonder how late it is, not that I care. I am so drunk that I can't even remember how to walk. "Oi Marchosias what information have we got?" *hiccup* Marcocias is the Guze no Ou that I made a contract with. Others call him Jūrin no Sōga. His communication tool is a grimoire, which I sometimes use for transport. How awesome is that? Using a book for flying a lot of people can only dream of doing that hahahaha. Too bad he tells some stupid jokes that makes me want to hit him.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAH my beloved drunken Margery Daw, for information we got well …nothing. Ooh but I did heard that some outlaw are getting attacked by members of Bal Masqué and some of our allies died, well pity them at least we're alive."

"*hiccup* Well that's a bummer and Marco we haven't even fought against Bal Masqué since Christmas." I sighed "Oi Marchosias are we out of beer or something *hiccup* I can't find my glass *hiccup* I need to ask Keisaku to get some more *hiccup*."

"Well, you drank a lot the last couple of days and you threw the last glass at me this morning when you were having a tantrum, because Keisaku went to school and the beer you got for Christmas is almost gone. So that means you have me as your company for the rest of your afternoon and your lovely alcoholic drink has to wait for tomorrow HAHAHAHAHA… OUCH!"

"SHUT YOUR FUCKING MOUTH BAKA MARCO! Or do you want me to flush you through the toilet again?*hiccup*"

"Please have mercy, my beloved violent Margery Daw. I'll keep quiet and if you want I can hook you up with some stuff."

"Oh really? Is it good? *hiccup*"

"Of course it's the best I know, but it's expensive."

"Don't worry about that Marco, *hiccup* I know the perfect way to get it for free. *hiccup* Now hurry and tell me. That chibi-chan will arrive soon for some training, and by the way you can make me sober now *hiccup*."

*Your wish is my command my alcoholic loving MAAAARRRRGERY…"

"SHUT UP!"

*Yes your highness."

**Tanaka's POV**

"I hope everything will be alright." Ogata said; "it's nothing like Sakai to play truant and not notifying anyone about his whereabouts. You think he got kidnapped, I mean with how dense he is, he can easily get tricked or maybe he got lost on the way home, it happened a few months ago and the police found him crying in a park near his home."

I still can't believe Sakai disappeared. It's hard to believe especially since he met Shana-chan he didn't get into that much bad luck. Okay he was kidnapped on season 1 of the anime and Shana was the one who had to go and save him, he almost got kidnapped in season 2 two times, no wait that was Pheles trying to get Johan back and the other time was when the Reiji Maigo got stolen. At least he has it better than Princes Peach or Zelda, they get kidnapped every game and I am surprised Mario and Link aren't getting sick of it. If I should give an explanation for all the bad things that are happening here, I would conclude that instead of this city Sakai is the one bringing bad luck here. So it is actually a good thing that he disappeared right? This is too depressing for me to talk about. I think it's better to change the subject, before she keeps going. "So Oga-chan what are you doing this afternoon?"

Ogata stopped walking and turned to me; "Well I have volleyball practice soon so I have to go bye, bye. Be sure to not get mugged by burglars again see you tomorrow." She walked away, turned around the corner and disappeared.

I stood there watching her leave. She's so cute when she's worried about me.

I was too much busy with my thought that I didn't hear someone sneaking up on me. "Give me your money or die!"

"No, please spare me I am just a poor high school student who is a bit too long for his height, I'll do anything please and don't tell my friends I'll be a laughing-stock for them again please don't…. wait Satou? What the… YOU LITTLE BITCH I AM SO GOING TO KILL YOU. YOU'LL REGRET EVERYTIME YOU'VE MADE FUN OF ME!"

"I'll keep quiet about this little accident okay?" He said with a face that tried to be composed, but everyone can tell that he's just trying not to laugh.

"Deal and don't ever do it again okay?"

He shrugged "Well I won't have any other opportunity after today so okay."

I looked at him surprised "What do you mean with that? Are you going to move? Do you have a deadly STD? Please tell me you're going to die."

"No it's nothing like that… wait you what?"

"Oi what are you two talking about?"

Satou and I turned around to see the owner of the voice. It was no one else than Shana-chan. "Shana-chan what are you doing here?"

"I was just on my way to meet the Chōshi no Yomite I am going to train a bit with her." She said.

"After the disappearance of the Mystes, Sakai Yuji I thought it was better for Shana to get more serious with her training so I suggested for her to ask the Chōshi no Yomite to help her train with unrestricted spells." Alastor replied."

"Oh that reminds me Alastor there's something that's been bothering me a while. Despise the disappearance of Yuji everyone he knows seems to remember him. Why is that?" Shana asked."

"Hmm I think it's normal, since it's the Mystes we're talking about. Maybe he didn't disappear, but like Satou said runaway to some anime convention."

"… Alastor…. That's just the dumbest explanation I have heard couldn't you just come up with a better lie?"

"I have worse ones; you guys want to hear them?"

"NO!" Everyone screamed in unison.

Shana looked up at Satou. "Seeing you carrying a big bag full of alcoholic drinks I assume that the Chōshi no Yomite had a drinking mood. Let's get going before she'll destroy your house. I am not in the mood to have the police over here and investigating us. Tomorrow you need to get up early to go to Outlaw. I don't know how long the Chōshi no Yomite will be able to keep up without having a representative and lawyer. How many times was she sent to jail because of too much drinking?"

"I don't know Shana-chan I guess you'll have to ask her, not that she'll ever tell you. Now let's go bye Tanaka."

Again I stood there alone while, 'again' I watched my friends leaving me. "Okay time to get home and read some manga to neglect the fact that I am completely lonely and to be pitied."

**Yuji's POV**

"So I have like, for some reason another form that was like, almost killed or something. The Seirei no Hebi who is supposed to be the leader of Bal Masqué?" I asked.

"See you can understand what I've told you, I guess we just have to take it super slow, and with that I mean weeks. If we keep it up like this, we'll be done in like thousand years." My 'so called alter ego' answered me.

"But why am I naked?" I asked

He sighed; "In how many manga, anime etc. have characters been naked when they're in some kind of disorientated space? You're inside the Reji Maigo remember; not really an existence, but also not really gone either."

"How come my clothes disappeared the moment I disappear?"

"Have you been listening to the Enpatsu Shakugan no Uchite when she she was explaining Torches and Mystes?"

"Well kinda, I mean it was a big blow for me and I actually had trouble with believing her. I still can't believe everything you told me. If my friends would see me like this, they'll laugh at me and isn't Bal Masqué supposed to be the bad guys or something? There are too many plot twists here how can I comprehend everything and even believe what a total stranger is telling me?"

"Sakai Yuji, I am seriously at my limit here. I'm sure no one in the world has the patience I have and how can you not trust me if I say that I am a part of you."

I looked at the silver flame for a while. "If you are at your limit then go take a break, but I have no idea where the toilet is and if you are a part of me; why are you telling me this just now instead of much sooner? By the way, you know the longer I stare at your flame the more you look like a silvery blobby thingy. Did you notice that?"

"… I first thought you were just some clueless annoying brat, but now I am really starting to hate you."

"But you're me or whatever crap you just told me, how can I hate myself? Plus it's your own fault for not explaining everything clearly to me from the beginning. How can I understand what you are saying if you're speaking in Einstein language to me."

"I guess your brain capacity is too low to comprehend the normal way of communicating with others, or you just don't care, which gives your brain the concentration capacity of a goldfish. Seriously kids these days don't know anything about manners and etiquettes." The silver flame said.

"If I wanted to have company of an old nerd I'd ask Ike to accompany me and let him talk about his nonsense, while I try to find a way to kill him."

"If I was able to bang my head against a wall I'd be doing that right now. If you keep on like this you'll be stuck in here forever."

My brain froze for a moment. "… Wait stuck here forever without, and no Shana… WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS TO ME! MY FREEDOM, MY LOVE, MY SHANA! I DON'T WANT TO LOSE THEM NOO! THIS IS A NIGHTMARE!"

"And we'll be stuck here for a few days or weeks again."

**Shana's POV**

Keisaku and I were just entering his house when we heard the Jūrin no Sōga yelling; "Keisaku, Jou-chan, you're finally here I need your help!"

I looked up at Satou with a confused expression and he gave me the same look back. We went to the room where the Chōshi no Yomite mostly spends her time, but before we were able to enter, suddenly a glass was thrown at us.

"Baka Marco! How many times do I have to tell you to shut up? If I want to drink just let me! *hiccup*"

Both Satou and I were astonished. How much has she been drinking? This is going too far.

"I am sorry guys I guess marihuana flavored beer is the worst to give her, you should be happy that you didn't come in a few hours earlier, that was really the most terrifying moment of my live." The Jūrin no Sōga shivered.

I wonder what happened that made him so scared, but I guess it'll be better if I don't ask. They always say knowing too much isn't always a good thing. "So how come Wilhelmina hasn't arrived yet?" Wilhelmina is the Flame Haze who trained me and took care of me when I was little. She wears a purple maid outfit and has a contract with Mugen no Kantai, Tiamat, who uses a maid headdress as communication. Talk about Wilhelmina's fetish for maid cosplaying, even I am not that addicted to melon pan.

The Chōshi no Yomite turned to me. Wow her face is redder than normal. I have seen her drunk many times, but this is the first time I've seen her that drunk. "*hiccup* Don't worry about her chibi-chan *hiccup* the Banjō no Shite has arrived a long time ago. I offered her to drink with me *hiccup*, but she refused and said she'll wait in the garden. I wonder why? *hiccup*"

"I think I can imagine why she preferred to wait." Satou replied; "I guess it's rude to let Caramel-san wait any longer, let's go.

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><p>I've been training with the Chōshi no Yomite Margery Daw for a few hours already, but I still can't get the attack right. I need to get serious, with the things happening I really can't stay this way I need to focus, focus. "FIRE PUNCH!" The fire hand that suddenly appeared punched the Chōshi no Yomite away.<p>

"That was some nice skill you got there, but next time don't try to get you inspiration from video games." She said.

"Sorry, I didn't know what else to do." Maybe it wasn't that smart to stay up late and play Pokémon Black till 4 am, but I really love that game and it's better than the other versions.

"I don't think it's that bad using a move like that." Alastor replied; "actually fire punch is my favorite Pokémon move and as long as she doesn't shout her attacks it wouldn't be that bad."

"Uhm Alastor, how are you able to play video games?" Satou asked.

"I always watch Shana when she plays. It looks really interesting." Alastor answered.

"Seems like an unexpected hobby –de arimasu." Wilhelmina said.

"Game otaku" Tiamat added.

"Okay chibi-chan enough chatting let's get going. Here I come with more attacks. Yaaaa!"

I guess it's going to take some time before I've perfected this technique.

**Yuiji's POV**

"I think I finally understand." I sad smiling.

"Finally, I was afraid I would stay here the rest of my existence explaining the same crap all over again. So what will you do now, Sakai Yuji?"

"Well at least not helping Bal Masqué that's for sure." I replied.

"WHAT? Why not?" You're their leader." My other self said.

"Well first they kidnapped me, used me as some kind of energy amplifier, tried to kill the love of my life, stole the Reiji Maigo and Itadaki no Kura Hecate almost traumatized me in season 1 and in the Shanatan series, Sydonay wanted my virginity, Shana is the only one who's allowed to do that. They're my enemies and I prefer making out with Shana, than fighting her. I mean what's it in for me if I take your deal?" I asked.

"How about no school, no tests, no homework, no annoying teachers, no annoying nerdy classmates/ friends, you'll become a god with unlimited power, you'll have a whole army of Tomogara under your commande and a very luxurious castle, were you and Shana can have your love moments in peace." He answered.

"Deal!"

**Normal POV**

At Sereiden three figures waiting for their leader to finally make his appearance.

One of them was a woman, who looked in her thirties. She has red long hair that goes till her ass. She has three eyes which one is covered by an eye patch. She's the Gyakuri no Saisha, Bel Peol also known as the strategist.

The second one was a girl that looked like she was an elementary school girl. She had blue short hair and wears a White cape and hat. Her expression would make everyone shiver; Itadaki no Kura Hecate or the priestess as the other members of Bal Masqué call her.

The third one looked like an old man who could be sent to the hospital at any minute. He has a pair of demon wings, a tail and two horns on his head. Rantei Fecor, the guide of Seireiden and guiding tourists around the palace every day. This day was different; today a very important person would arrive after a million years of sleep.

"Why is our commander taking so long?" Bel Peol asked; "We've been standing here for almost a month and he still hasn't arrived."

"Please be patient Bel Peol." Hecate said; "I am sure there is a very good reason why it takes so long for our commander to arrive."

"But this is ridiculous!" Bel Peol exclaimed; "Ever since Christmas Eve our commander should have awoken already and make his appearance. I am sick of it I am going to get something to eat and drink I haven't had anything for months I can't believe I was able to last this long."

"But Bel Peol-sama, as a Tomogara it's not necessary to fill ourselves with human food. We only need power of existence to survive." Fecor reassured.

"Oh yeah I totally forgot, but some of the dishes humans make are really delicious you guys should try it too."

"Uhm well maybe…" before Fecor could finish his sentence, he was interrupted by an overwhelming presence of someone with a great power approaching; "Sorry I am so late guys I hope I haven't made you wait to long for my arrival."

The person was a young man, who looked like he was 17 or 18. He has long dark brown hair, which was braided at the end, which made it look like he had a snake tail. He wore a red armor that looked like you would burn if you'd worn it in summer.

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><p>AN: I don't know why I am describing some of the characters, since most people who read this are SnS fans and already know how the characters look like and know their names too. Ow well it's a parody so it doesn't matter and I can write whatever I want.

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><p>He of course is no one else than the Mystes Sakai Yuji, or as he'd be called now Sairei no Hebi Sakai Yuji. The founder and leader of Bal Masqué. Well Bal Masqué must have been pretty hopeless without him, so now they can actually do something useful.<p>

Fecor looked at Yuji like he was going to explode; "Commander we were waiting a whole month for you. We haven't moved from this spot since Christmas. Do you have any idea how hard it's been for us? We weren't able to get any presents from Santa. The day after Christmas every other Bal Masqué member visited us to show of what cool stuff they got and we had to stand there and try to hide or tears. I had to cancel all my appointments with the hospital, because of you. Bel Peol-sama is grumpy because she couldn't eat human food and the priestess…" He looked at Hecate for a moment.

-_- "What?" Hecate asked.

Fecor sweat dropped; "Okay the priestess can handle waiting years at the same spot and still stay the same as always."

"No I can't" She answered; "I need to change scenery every six months or I'll get the feeling I want to do something very horrible to the first person I see."

… The others were silent for a moment, until Bel Peol broke the silence; "So commander I see that you decided to wake the Mystes, instead of letting him dormant and use the vessel we planned to use."

"OF COURSE I'D DO THAT YOU IDIOT!" Yuji yelled; "HAVE YOU SEEN HOW UGLY THAT THING IS AND IT'S TOO EMBARRASSING FOR ME TO USE! WE'RE NOT LIVING IN THE PAST! I'D BE RIDICULED BY EVERYONE! WERE AM I ABLE TO SLEEP, EAT OR RULE BAL MASQUE IN THAT GIGANTIC KNIGHT ROBOTIC LIKE THING? OUTSIDE THE SEREIDEN? EVEN META KNIGHT WOULD LOOK MORE INTIMIDATING THAN ME! PEOPLE WOULD SAY OH LOOKS LIKE THE LIBERTY STATUE GOT A BOYFRIEND! DON'T YOU KNOW THAT THE MYSTES AND I ARE ONE AND THE SAME! SHANA WON'T EVEN COME NEAR ME THEN, MY BODY WOULD BE COMPLETELY GONE AND INSTEAD I HAVE TO LIVE IN A PIECE OF STEAL? DO YOU LOOK DOWN ON ME THAT MUCH?"

Bel Peol, Fecor and Hecate were in a state of shock and fright, due to the sudden outburst of their commander, even though you couldn't see it on Hecate's face inside she was trembling.

"I told you he wouldn't be happy with that ridiculous armor." Fecor whispered to the strategist, "That Mystes looks like a stud next to that armor."

"Oh just shut the fuck up." Bel Peol snapped at him.

"Uhm" Hecate started; "Shouldn't we start with the plan already?"

Yuji turned to Hecate; "Oh yeah our plan there's a lot that we need to prepare, call every member of Bal Masqué I have very important tasks for everyone, but first let's go to China were we have enough privacy to discuss everything."

"Yes commander" they said in unison while bowing to him.

"Well I guess now the real show is beginning." Yuji thought.

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><p>Okay that was chapter one and I would like to give special thanks to 2 friends of mine JD and MD, who helped me with this story and my sis for talking me into writing the story. I am planning of finishing chapters 2, 3 and 4 soon. I have my reasons for doing that.<p>

Yuji: There goes my self-respect. Why did you have to make me sound like an idiot?

Me: That's called being dense my dear Yuji and it'll make this story funnier. Plus the ones who helped me out with the story loved your personality and so do I. So you'll be stuck with it for the rest of the story hah.

Shana: Well at least my personality isn't that twisted.

Me: You don't need a twisted personality to give you funny moments. I have already a nice idea for you Shana-chan. *evil laugh*

Shana: *gulp*

Wilhelmina: You… I hate you –De arimasu.

Me: O.O Why?

Wilhelmina: You gave me only one line in this chapter –De arimasu.

Taimat: A great disappointment.

Me: Don't worry guys the further the story progresses the more lines you'll get.

Wilhelmina: I hope you will, for your own shake –De arimasu.

Me: *sweatdrops* well okay I gotta go I am starting to feel a killing aura coming close heheh.

Seirei no Hebi: NOT SO FAST! YOU COME BACK AND I'LL SHOW YOU REAL HELL!

Me: Okay I really gotta run R&R guys and no flaming or I'll send SnH and Wilhelmina after you. *runs away screaming*

Seirei no Hebi: COME BACK YOU'LL PAY FOR WHAT YOU DID TO ME!


	2. Meeting new and old weirdoes

Hello everyone xxxDreamingflowerxxx again with a new chapter. Fast wasn't it?

I want to thank all the readers and especially the reviewers, since they weren't lazy to not leave a review.

Me: Okay Wilhelmina-san do the disclaimer.

Wilhelmina: xxxDreamingflowerxxx doesn't own Shakugan no Shana, or else I would hardly have any screen time or lines.

Me: HEY!

Chapter 2: Meeting new and old weirdoes

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><p><strong>Sydonay's POV<strong>

"Shit I still can't lose her and I've been on the run for days." Okay now for the fans since I didn't made an appearance in chapter 1 I'll do my introduction now. I am Senpen Sydonay, one of Bal Masqué's Trinity my subordinates call me the general. I am sure you're all wondering why and for who I am fleeing, well the answer is pretty simple; Kenka no Nagite, Yu Huan. Ironically a Flame Haze from China and works as a police officer in Shanghai.

"Stand still you criminal, this time you won't escape your fate!"

And if you're wondering why She's after me well , the reason is really ridiculous.

"You're under arrest for children abuse!"

See I told you. What's wrong with loving middle school students; they're so cute with their flat chests, and their not yet matured faces and their innocence. They're in the age were they still look up to so much and their height still so sort. Of course my Hecate is the cutest of them all. So you can say I've been caught when I was about to give my love to a cute child who deserved it. Now that I think about it, it was her fault that I went into prison last time the police was after me.

"Okay it's time for payback for what you did to me the last time you corrupt cop!" I yelled.

The Bladed Flower Slaughter looked at me with a surprised look. "Me? Corrupt? Hah don't make me laugh. You're the one who's giving innocent children trauma, by touching them at places where you shouldn't touch, you lolicon!"

And she kept on with her ranting for a while till I was fed up with it. "Okay I am sick with your fake arguments, police officer-san it's time to say bye bye to the world." I took out my beloved Hougu; Shintetsu Nyoi and killed her on the spot.

"Well that was fast, but at least I have some peace. I guess it's time to head back. I haven't been at Seireiden for some time. I am sure the commander has arrived already and is starting the preparations for our plan. I am sure that everyone and especially Hecate-chan 3 are waiting for my return. Don't worry my Hecate your beloved Sydonay will come as fast as I can."

**Yuji's POV**

I've been staring at the mirror for hours now, checking out my new appearance.

"Mirror mirror on the wall, who's the most handsome looking of them all?"

I still can't believe that the one I am looking at is me. The armor has a nice red tint and with the scarf, it gives me a badass look. I even got a growth spurt and… why is my hair so long? It does give a nice touch to it. This is so much better than that ugly silver armor. I wonder if Shana would like this new me. Oh I am sure the moment she'll see me, she'll jump into my arms and begging me to take her. I miss her so."

My face was becoming redder than a tomato. "Ooh Shana, my Shana, the love of my live. I can't wait to see you again and take you with me so we can finally live together."

I tried to imitate Shana's voice as good as I could; "Ohh Yuji I always loved you, but since I was raised as a Flame haze I had no idea how to handle these emotions and your confession made me so happy."

"It's okay my love as long as we're together, nothing else matters."

"Take me my prince charming."

"Your wish is my command my princess."

As I started to kiss the pillow on my bed, Bel Peol entered the room.

We both froze for a moment before she spoke; "Uhm commander what are you doing with that pillow and what were the noises I was hearing before I entered?"

"Nothing of great importance Bel Peol, it was just uhh some practice." I answered.

"Practice for what?"

"Private matters, that don't concern you. Now is there something you wanted to tell me?"

"In fact there is. I wanted to inform you that we're leaving soon for your training."

"Excellent. What about the preparations for my speech?"

"We're busy with that. When you come back from your training you can start immediately with the announcement of our plan. Now please be ready, we have to go in ten minutes please hurry up and finish with whatever you were… doing." She left the room as quickly as she could.

I turned around and looked at myself in the mirror again. "Yup. So freaking badass."

**Shana's POV**

"A letter for you has arrived –De arimasu…" Wilhelmina was saying with a cold tone.

I stared at the letter for a while, that Wilhelmina was holding. "Thank you, from who is it?"

"The sender is the Shin'i no Yuite, Sophie Sawallisch. –De arimasu..."

I wonder what gramps wrote, but I was more worried about Wilhelmina. "Uhm is something wrong Wilhelmina? You don't look that happy."

"Ask the author of this story; no force her to give me more lines. – De arimasu"

"A big disappointment," Tiamat declared.

* * *

><p>A: "Keep on like this and you two won't get any lines! I told you already that you'll get your time to shine. I gave you more lines in this chapter than in chapter 1. Seriously how selfish can Flame Haze get?"<p>

* * *

><p>"We'll keep an eye on that and if you still haven't increased our amount of lines I demand a higher salary. –De arimasu."<p>

"Pay raise."

* * *

><p>A: "Just keep going with the story and I'll give everyone something yummy. Plus I don't pay any of you so no need for a pay raise."<p>

* * *

><p>*sign* I decided to ignore everything I just heard and went to my room.<p>

I put Alastor on my desk and started to read the letter:

To my dear adopted granddaughter,

How are you? I heard you were given a name, by your new boyfriend and that you've encountered quite some dangers in Misaki city. I hope that you're getting better at fulfilling your duties and getting less useless. It felt like it was yesterday that I took you in with me. I've never met such a useless and terrible girl as you. HOW MANY TIMES DID I HAVE TO TELL YOU HOW TO CLEAN YOUR ROOM? WRITE PROPER LETTERS, CHANGE YOUR SPEAKING MANNER AND YOUR TRAINING WAS TOO EASY AND THE MOST IMPORTANT THING: COOKING, GOSH EVEN CAT PISS TASTES BETTER THAN YOUR COOKING SKILL! I AM SURPRISED YOU WERE ABLE TO FIND A BOYFRIEND WHO'S ABLE TO ACCEPT THE FACT THAT HE'LL HAVE TO DO THE COOKING FOR THE REST OF HIS LIFE, BUT SINCE IT'S JUST A MYSTES I AM NOT THAT SURPRISED AND I'M SURE YOU'LL BE DUMPED IN A FEW WEEKS, SINCE YOUR MYSTES BOYFRIEND RAN AWAY ON CHRISTMAS EVE AND I WAS HOPING TO SEE YOU GET MARRIED, SO I WON'T HAVE TO BE WORRIED ABOUT YOU AND KNOW THAT YOU'R NOT A COMPLETE FAILURE…

I stopped reading and threw the letter away. *sign* "She hasn't changes a bit since I left."

"Why did you throw the letter away? Have you finished reading it?"

"No Alastor, I just know that 90% of the letters content she sends me, are insults it's not like she suddenly changes into a grandma that says how proud she is of her granddaughter and gives her advice and wishes her good luck in her life. Remember the Hawaii letter?"

"Yeah she was mostly bragging about how nice Hawaii is and that you can't afford those trips, if you weren't such a disappointment of a Flame Haze. I can at least advice you to write something back. If you don't she keeps insulting you. Just tell her the truth and that she has to shut up for once."

I grabbed a pen and paper and started writing;

Dear grandma,

I just received your letter and there are a few things I wanted to say; JUST SHUT UP FOR ONCE BITCH. MY WHOLE EXISTENCE I'VE ONLY HEARD YOU BADMOUTHING ME. I AM NOT YOUR SLAVE AND FOR YOUR INFORMATION YUJI DIDN'T DUMP ME. I AM SURE HE HAS HIS REASONS FOR DISSAPEARING WITHOUT SAYING A WORD. AS A FLAME HAZE IT'S NORMAL THAT WE'RE NO TALENTED COOKS. NAME ONE FLAME HAZE THAT'S GOOD AT COOKING, WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE KILLING MACHINES, NOT COOKING MACHINES. WILHELMINA IS EVEN WORSE AT COOKING THAN ME! SO SHUT THE HELL UP AND YOU SHOULD START CRITIZISING PEOPLE WHEN YOU KNOW THE WHOLE STORY.

I hope you're doing your best in Zurich grandma Sophie

With love,

Enpatsu Shakugan no Uchite, Shana.

"So how is it Alastor?"

"Hmmm, well it's not bad I am sure the Shin'i no Yuite will be gentler from now on, I hope she will… I don't think she'll change actually, but this will shut her up for a while. Now send the letter and let's continue the training with the Chōshi no Yomite."

* * *

><p>I felt like I haven't proceeded a bit since yesterday. My attacks feel so slow and I can't concentrate on aiming well.<p>

"CHIBI-CHAN FOCUS YOU HIT WORSE THAN AN OLD GRANNIE!" the Chōshi no Yomite yelled."

"HAHAHAHA you of all people knows it the best, my beloved old partner, Margery Daw. Ouch!"

"Shut up baka Marco! No time for stupid jokes we need to keep training."

Meanwhile Satou was checking the things that I'd brought with me.

"Is this all school work, since when has Shana-chan problems with her grades?"

"It's school work for the Mystes, so he won't fall behind too much. He has also extra assignments as punishment for skipping classes, but we stored that in a closet at home. –De arimasu"

"… I am sure he won't like that, but it's his fault for running away and playing truant."

**Normal POV**

At Sereiden the members of Bal Masqué are gathering for the upcoming speech their commander will give, but some Tomogara are busy with their on life problems…

"HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT PIRSOYN JULIET, NO IS NO." An angry Tomogara that looked like a giant oversized bugman yelled. That Tomogara's name is Ribersal.

"But but daddy I love him, don't take away the joy I have with Stolas Romeo-sama. I beg you please." PIHRSOYN is a Tomogara that looks like a boy or a girl and was wearing a large robe as clothing. It has green eyes and brown hair. "DON'T CALL ME IT YOU USELESS AUTHOR! JUST REFER ME AS AN SHE, LIKE ALL THE OTHERS DO!"

* * *

><p>A: They do? Well since you've insulted me I won't do that. Hehe now if you interrupt the story again you'll pay for it.<p>

* * *

><p>Stolas sweat dropped; "Sir I beg of you I'll promise to take good care of your… daughter." Stolas is a Tomogara, who looks like a black bird that has its face placed on the wrong body part.<p>

"DON'T INSULT ME! STOLAS ROMEO-SAMA, HOW CAN YOU BE SO MEAN?" Pirsoyn almost started crying."

The other Tomogara were listening to the conversation with a confused expression at the beginning, but by now most seemed to have an amused expression. "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" Every Tomogara in the room was laughing at the trio.

Ribersal turned around and glared at all the Tomogara. "If it wasn't for that stupid Purson, I wouldn't humiliate myself in front of everyone."

"Ribersal-sama you're not the only one." Pirsoyn and Stolas said; "We also lost a bet against him and are forced to do this humiliating act. We should be lucky that our commander hasn't seen us or the Trinity."

"That's true, but we can't let Purson get away with this without being punished."

Both Stolas and Pirsoyn looked at him surprised. "What do you mean?" Stolas asked.

"You'll see, I have a great idea for revenge. Now listen carefully…"

**Yuji's POV**

It's been some hours since my training has started or days I can't remember, but I know that I've been here for a long time. My companions: Bel Peol, Hecate and Rofocale, a Tomogara who has the strangest hobbies, taste for music and wanders around the world freaking out everyone he meets. I have spent these hours looking at some mountain scenery. "So what's the use of staring at this scenery for hours? I can do this behind my iMac in HD. Wouldn't it be better if I practice in combat, so that I can learn how to use my new powers properly?"

"It's to make your body more relaxed, I am sure you still need to get used to your new body commander. Nature is the best way to do that. After you're more used to your body your combat skills will get better too." Bel Peol replied.

"Uhm if you say nature will help my training, then you could just let me go get Shana and after a night I am sure I'd be stronger than anyone else."

Bel Peol looked at me with a shocked expression and Hecate just stared. "Commander that's not what I mean and that's something completely different. Have you even been listening to what I was saying?"

"Of course I did, but this is so boring."

"… Just finish your training and I have news about Sydonay."

"Great, what is it?"

"Seems like the police was after him… again, but he killed his pursuer. So he'll be back in a few hours and the police who was after him was ironically the famous Flame Haze from China, Kenka no Nagite, Yu Huan. Well at least that's been taken care of."

"I guess that's expected of Sydonay." I wonder what he sees in little girls or even in Hecate. I turn around to look at Hecate.

-_- "… What?"

"Nothing, nothing." She's really creepy. I wonder what's going on in that head of hers.

Rofocale started playing on his instrument, while singing some odd song;

~they sound so sweet when they scream

Oh, their body is covered in cream

Boys or girls it's all the same

Playing around with children isn't lame

What kinds of body part do you like the most?

Legs, hips or as long as they have a cute pose.

What kinds of body part do you like the most?

Can I choose all? That would make my heart fall~

We all were staring at him shocked. "Hentai." Hecate remarked.

I can't believe someone is able to sing a song about child abuse so casually. His songs are worse than the blonde girl's songs from Friends. This guy is seriously sick in his head. "Uhm Rofocale, could you please stop singing that song or just stop singing. It's really disturbing."

"Commander I am sure that disturbing is an understatement." Bel Peol said.

~"I express myself with songs so that I can feel like I really have expressed myself from the bottom of my heart."~

"So… you like to sing about children who get sexual abused?"

~"It's not abusing its giving love with your body in the hope it will reach them."~

"I think it will make them more scared, afraid, mentally scarred for life, losing trust in others, repel and feel resentment towards the one responsible for giving them an experience they don't want. It's kinda what Sydonay does."

~"It's my way of showing my feelings, expressions and emotions towards another person, kinda like communicating."~

"I swear if you ever sing in front of Shana, I'll show you hell and kill you."

"My, my I wonder why our commander has such an obsession towards that Flame Haze. What do you think Hecate?"

"Beats me. I want to go back."

"Me too actually, I want to try that new McDonalds menu and some other food. I am getting very hungry."

At that moment Fecor arrived. "Fecor you're late, what have you been doing?" Bel Peol asked.

"Stop being so selfish I have back problems, it hurts so much that I almost can't get up from my bed and again I have to cancel my hospital appointment. What do you guys have against and old man like me? I tried to get here as fast as I could."

"I am sure you did Fecor, now please tell me your message."

"Yes commander, the preparations for your upcoming speech have finished please return back to Sereiden as soon as possible."

"Okay then training is finally over. Now let's get down to business. Rofocale please be quiet when I am having my speech and don't start to sing before and after the speech too. You know I think it's better to throw away your instrument and tape your mouth shut till this is all over then you can go home and sing as many horrible songs as you like."

~"… Sad face."~

**Normal POV**

Back at Bal Masque Ribersal was finishing explaining his plan. "So you guys got it?" He asked.

"Well if you could make the plan simpler I am sure it's easy to accomplish."Pirsoyn replied.

"Okay then how about this." While Ribersal was explaining an alternate plan Yuji and the others entered the hall and he noticed the suspicious atmosphere that was being emitted from the group.

"I demand an explanation for your suspicious behavior or else you'll regret it! Yuji said in a menacing voice."

The three Tomogara flinched and turned around to face their commander. "It's not our fault Ribersal-sama forced us we didn't want to do a thing. We're very sorry commander." Pirsoyn and Stolas said in unison.

Ribersal glared at the two before he spoke; "Well actually commander I found out about a very embarrassing secret of the two. They once were cosplaying as Japanese high school girls, got drunk and almost made out and I wanted to confront them about that."

Pirhsoyn and Stolas looked at Ribersal with shocked faces. "How did you know about that?"Pihroyn and Stolas asked.

They're conversation got interrupted by a big hologram that displayed a creepy looking man and a robot. He wore glasses, his hair is tied and he wears a lap coat. His name is Tantankyūkyū, Dantalion. Feared by mostly everyone and marked and a lunatic scientist, that won't even mind doing painful experiments with his allies and the robot was his partner in crime Domino a Rinne. " MY BEEEEELOOOOVEEEED GUUUUUIIIIIINEA PIGS, I MEAN COMRADES AND COMMANDER. I HOOOPEEEE YOU WEREN'T WAAAAAAIIITING TO LOOONG FOR MEEEEEEEE? COMMAAAANDER YOU CAN STAAAAAART YOUR SPEEEEEECH NOW EEEEEVERYTHING AL AS GOOD AS REAAADY, EXCEPT FOR OOONE MOOOORE TEST AAAAAANYONE WAAANT TO VOOOLENTEEER TO BE A GUINEA PIG FOR MY SUUUPER DEEEAAADLY, I MEAN COMPLEEETELY INOOCENT EXPIIIIIREMENNNTTTT?"

"Professor everyone is waiting and you don't need to ask for them to participate with your experiment just wait till they're asleep and OUUUUCH OUCH OUCH!"

"DOOOMIINOOOOO HOW MANY TIIIIMES DO II NEEED TO TELL YOOOUU NOT TOO..." And the hologram was cut off by Bel Peol.

"Finally silence." Yuji said; "Now I can finally start with my speech."

**Shana's POV**

Hours have passed since the training started and I think I finally get the hang of it.

"Okay that enough for now, I am bored." The Chōshi no Yomite declared; "Let's do something else that's more fun than this."

"I suggest we go to the cinemas, or any other activity that Flame Haze rarely do. –De Arimasu." Wilhelmina offered.

"A new experience." Tiamat added.

"Hahaha good idea, I'll nominate Satou to be the one carrying everything."

"Huh wait what? Marcosias, no I mean why, this…"

"Then it's settled." The Chōshi no Yomite said; Keisaku get some bags, money and whatever things humans need for a day out. It's shopping time."

"I have a bad feeling about this."

**Normal POV**

Somewhere in France

An old man is walking through the narrow streets of Paris. "Okay I did get some nice art pieces this time. Now let's see where my next destination is. I need to have more, MORE, MORE, MOOOOOREEEE… I wonder how I am able to keep up with this body without having any health problems. I mean this body is even older than Rantei, Fecor."

Suddenly a blue seal appears on one of the wall building and a giant fish appeared out of the seal. "Greetings Shikabane Hiroi, Lamis. No, Rasen no Fūkin, Leanan-sidhe."

"Oh Decarabia, It's been so long. What 's your business with me?"

"Our commander seeks your help in executing the Grand Order. If you help us you'll get rewarded with the rarest and valuable art pieces that exist."

"DEAL, I'LL DO ANYTHING FOR ART. AAAAART!"

**Satou's POV**

"Crap I over slept!" I can't believe how late I am.

I got dressed took some yogurt drink and ran out of the house just to get stopped by Margery. "Not so fast Keisaku. I need you to take this shopping list and get all the alcoholic drinks you can find and some souvenirs."

Like always, it's about alcohol. I'd be shocked if there would be a day were she wouldn't talk about alcohol or drink it. "So is that all or is there something else you…"

"Take this Tomogara alarm. It gives light when there's one coming near, so if that would happen you need to run away as fast as you can or you'll…"

"Oi Margery he's already gone."

"Damn it. Why would he run when I'm not done talking to him?"

"Hahahahaha, I guess your stories are so boring that he… Ouch!"

"Shut up Baka Marco!"

I made it to the train station just in time. Talk about being lucky I am sure the goddess of luck or the author pitied me.

* * *

><p>A: No I don't I just need you to keep the story going and soon you'll find out why ohohohoh.<p>

* * *

><p>I have a bad feeling about this… *sign* I haven't had a proper breakfast; I couldn't take a shower and brush my teeth (I am sure I still smell like alcohol). Why decided Margery to make me a packing mule for everyone? First they dragged me around the shopping district for hours and when they were finally done with shopping they decided to have a party. We were up till 3 in the morning and they wouldn't allow me to go to bed sooner. Margery stuffed my mouth full of beer, my head hurts and I can't remember exactly what happened yesterday.<p>

"Ugh, my stomach starts to hurt what a great day to start with… huh? Oh crap, I didn't had the time to go to the bathroom this morning and I went to sleep straight after the party." I ran through the whole train looking for a toilet, but to no avail. I reached the end of the train and I got desperate; "I need to get out of here fast."

I wanted to press the SOS button, but a man stopped me. "Kid what are you doing this is dangerous you know."

"Mister please this is an emergence, my life is at stake nothing else is more important than this!"

But it was too late; No NO NO !

* * *

><p>At the other train that's crossing the train Satou's in. Yuji, who was taking a nap, woke up because of the noise. "Huh? Wha? What was that annoying sound? ZZZzzz<p>

Now back at Satou's.

* * *

><p>I was crawling in some corner, trying to hide from the harsh happening that just occurred. I feel like I want to die. I can't believe this… has happened to me… I need to get help. I need to call someone yeah."<p>

I looked into my pockets and noticed a tag that I got from Margery. "I wonder what that is, it's glowing, maybe it's some glow in the dark sticker. Awesome!"

**Yuji's POV**

I wonder who the idiot was that woke me from my nap. I was having a nice dream about Shana. Oh well I don't have time to think long about it, I am here on a day off. So it's time to do what I always wanted to do.

* * *

><p>Me: So this was chapter 2 I hope you liked it as much as I do.<p>

Sydonay: Yay I made my appearance.

Satou: I hate you I really hate you. You ruined my dignity and respect the fans had for me.

Me: I am sure the fans still respect you.

Shana: I am surprised you're still alive.

Me: Well I promised the SnH that he has it easier the next time, but that won't last long

SnH: WHAT?

Me: I am sorry, but the fans really loved you and Yuji's conversation so you'll make a comeback in the next chapter. ^^

SnH: GRRRR

Me: Come on please do it for the fans. They really love you.

SnH: You mean they love to see me being tortured.

Me: You want to listen to Rofocale's songs?

SnH: … Fine you win

Yuji: For all the readers please review or you'll have to listen to Rofocales songs.


	3. Satou's wet problem

xxxDreamingflowerxxx is back again. Fast isn't it? Well I can tell you that after chapter 4 the updates will be slower. Again thanks to everyone who has read my story and of course the reviewers also.

Me: The lucky one who'll do the disclaimer this time is the Sairei no Hebi. ^^

Sairei no Hebi: xxxDreamingflowerxxx does not own Shakugan no Shana or else we'd all be screwed.

Me: What does everyone have against me?

* * *

><p>Chapter 3: Satou's wet problem<p>

**Tanaka's POV**

I was just lying on the floor of my living room completely bored. "I can't believe how sad my live has become; even reading these porn magazines aren't entertaining me. "

I was just about to go out when my cellphone started to ring. "Satou? I wonder what he wants from me."

"What took you so long to take the phone; I am in serious trouble here." Satou yelled.

"Sorry how should I know what you've been doing since you left. What's that problem you're talking about?"

"…I… peed in my pants…"

"…AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. This is hilarious hahahaha!"

"Are you done laughing?"

"No hahahaha."

"GRRRR, you do know that even your reputation will drop, since you're my friend. Not only me but everyone that I am befriend with will be a laughing stock for whole Misaki city, no whole Japan, no the entire world!"

I turned pale. "Okay I get it Satou. Now tell me what do you need and I'll get everyone else to help out, since their reputations are a stake too."

"I need new underwear, some pants and a bag to hide my face in."

"Clean pants, diapers and a bag got it."

"What no wait you idiot that's not what I…" I hung up immediately and ran straight to Satou's house to get help from ane-san.

**Yuji's POV**

"Finally the time has come for me to pretend to be a tourist here in Misaki city. Hmmm what shall I do first it's still early so I guess an attraction like…"

"Sakai Yuji, what the hell are you doing?"

"Huh you're still here?"

"Of course I am idiot, it's pretty obvious why. Don't tell me you forgot what we talked about the last time I spoke to you."

"That was also the first time we met. But that's all in the past let's continue this tour I really need to clear my mind. Let's go to the tourist office first"

"I really can't believe that we are part of a whole, you're a complete idiot Sakai Yuji."

"Tell that to your child abuse singing friend, Sydonay and all the other Tomogara from Bal Masqué and how many times have you called me an idiot? Ohh I think I see the tourist office already."

"My head is really starting to hurt."

"But you're inside me, how can your…"

"Shut up!"

**Margery's POV**

It's been a few hours already since Keisaku left, so I decided to spend my time on something useful…

"One bottle of whisky *hiccup* two bottles of whisky *hiccup* three bottles of … *hiccup* oi Marcochias how many bottles have I drank empty and how many do we have left?"

"You're asking me? HAHAHAHA you're the one who keeps absorbing everything, like some kind of vacuum cleaner and at such a speed. You think I'll be able to keep track of that my alcoholic vessel Margery Daw. HAHAHAHA… Ouch!"

"Enough! Baka Marco!"

"Ten bottles of *hiccup* eleven bottles of *hiccup*…"

"Hmm… Oi Margery I think we got a visitor in Misaki city and this one is a Guze no Ou. Why do they keep coming? The Mystes has already disappeared from the map. So there nothing left this place has to offer."

"What are you talking about Marco *hiccup* I don't since anything *hiccup* you must have been drinking too much *hiccup* twenty bottles *hiccup*."

"Hahahaha look who's talking! Ouch!"

"Shut up baka Marco!"

"Yes you highness."

I suddenly heard the doorbell rang. I wonder who that could be.

"Ane-san Satou is in trouble!"

Nice greeting Eita, I guess that's what he gets for running away from me. Poor kid a Tomogara already has gotten to him.

"He peed in his pants and now he's hiding trying to save his dignity. I don't think he's succeeding, but we have to help him or else our dignity, respect and pride will be gone too!"

"Huh wait what? You mean a Tomogara wasn't after him?"

"AHAHAHA, you dragged him too much yesterday and thanks to your stuffing him full with beer made this humiliating happening occur HAHAHAH OUCH! "

"Shut up baka Marco! We have no time for your shitty jokes. Eita you go ahead and look for shops that have towels, diapers or whatever you can find."

"Yes madam!"

I started to look in my pockets and took out a very modern looking Blackberry. "Cool isn't it? I have the newest model and they're so expensive and rare that there aren't many people who have them hahahaha and that's not all I even have an IMac and iPod touch with 32GB I can go on with it. Okay that was enough showing of now let's go."

**Shana's POV**

Since this morning I've been training with Wilhelmina, I still haven't really perfected my new technique and according to Wilhelmina and the others I shouldn't name it or else I'd be sued by Nintendo. I don't want that, since I am a big fan of their games especially Pokémon and Zelda. I always choose a fire type and in the Zelda games the fire temples are my favorites. I have no idea why.

"Okay girls I think this is enough training for today why won't you take a break? I am sure you want to eat something."

"I guess you're right Alastor I am quite hungry."

"An excellent idea. –De arimasu."

"Affirmative."

* * *

><p>So we went to a café to get something to eat. I choose melon pan for my lunch with some tea and Wilhelmina picked the first she saw on the menu, which was sushi… Not really something I would eat after training. We were just about to finish when I suddenly heard someone's cellphone ring. "Whose phone is ringing?"<p>

"It's mine. –De arimasu."

"Since when do you have a phone?"

"Since it's an important communication item and especially when you work together with other Flame Haze. –De arimasu."

"Team work."

"What's wrong Chōshi no Yomite?"

"We need your help, is Chibi-chan with you too?"

"Yes why? –De arimassu."

"Satou peed in his pants and we need to get some diapers and clean pants. I already send Eita to look for stores. You two hurry before we have to hide for the rest of our existence from humiliation!"

"I'll inform her of the incident, good luck with finding stores. –De arimasu."

"So what is it?"

"The boy that the Chōshi no Yomite send to Outlaw seems to have done it in his pants. –De arimasu. Now we're forced to help him out before whole Japan will find out and we need to leave and go in hiding to save the last bit of dignity we have. –De arimasuka."

"… Can I borrow your phone?"

"Alright, but why do you need it? –De arimasu."

"I need to call a friend. Hello Kazumi? We need your help."

"Shana-chan? How did you know my cellphone number, since you don't own a cellphone yourself I never gave you mine."

"Uh… That's irrelevant, listen Satou seems to have peed in his pants on his way to outlaw. He asked us for help I need you to go to the Haridan and see if there are some shops that are selling diapers and all the other crap that Satou needs."

"Alright I will help you."

"Thanks a lot and good luck."

"You too Shana-chan."

I hung up the phone and gave it back to Wilhelmina. "Okay let's start searching."

**Yuji's POV**

"Ah this feels so familiar; it's been really a long time since I've been here. Oh that's the street where I met the love of my life, that's the museum were I stole some vases and sold them on eBay for a ridiculous expensive price. Good thing Yoshida-san didn't betray me to the police; there I committed my first murder with Shana. You know Friagne was really a freak with his obsession over a doll. There was the cosplay parade; Shana looks so good in red. She's a perfect Dorothy and there's the bar Margery gets drunk, when she's not drinking in Satou's house. There we had the Yukata festival."

"That was the Misago festival you idiot!"

"How do you know about the…?"

"That doesn't matter. Now continue talking to yourself that annoys me less than when you're talking about crap to me."

What a mean alter ego. How can you hate yourself? I still don't understand that guy. Well at least he's better than Ike. "Ohh there is where my dad and I had that talk about that I would become an onii-san. I wonder if I'll get a little sister or brother and there was the place where I was about to confess to Shana… Why is my live so unfair?"

"You do know that you have more important business to do. To complete the grand order you need to focus and not get distracted by these silly things."

"Oi did you forgot the reason I took your offer. I'm here for the most important person in my life and of course clearing my head. And for you information, most of the Tomogara there are really creeping me out. Where did you find them?"

"They were the Tomogara that wanted their wish fulfilled. They're the reason for Bal Masqué's existence and the grand order."

"… In other word the Sairei no Hebi is just a Santa Clause for the Tomogara."

"… I wonder what part of the memories that were sleeping returned when we became one."

"We have no time to discuss that my alter ego, there's a movie I always wanted to see and it's finally available in the cinema. Now let's go."

"Well at least his IQ increased a little bit since the merge."

"Okay that movie was terrific; it would have been perfect if Shana was there with me. Now let's take some pictures of buildings, animals, and people. We'll do everything what a real Japanese tourist will do when he's on vacation."

"Sakai Yuji, your Bal Masué's leader and behaving and acting like this is pointless, what will you achieve when you do this?"

"Well I always wanted to be a tourist, but I never had the opportunity to travel. My dad was always gone for work and when I asked if I could come with him, he'd say no. I wonder why that it."

*Sign* "Sakai Yuji, You're a complete idiot."

**Margery's POV**

This is ridiculous how can it be so hard to find a shop that's selling diapers or anything else that's in our favor? We've been searching through the whole town for hours and still nothing.

I looked down at the streets on top of a building and I suddenly spotted something suspicious; "Huh isn't that the Mystes walking there? Wow I must have drunk so much that I started hallucinating hahaha!"

"Uhm Margery I made you sober so you're not drunk."

"Stop with that nonsense Marchosias, now let's look how chibi-chan is doing in her search."

I took out my cellphone and called the Banjō no Shite.

" –De arimasu?"

"Hey is chibi-chan there? I want to know what she got."

"Okay I'll get her for you. –De arimasuka."

"Yes, what is it?"

"Chibi-chan have you got any luck in finding any store. At my side it's completely zero luck."

"We haven't got anything either. I think the author likes to torture us with these useless tasks."

* * *

><p>A: Keep on with that and you'll get to see hell.<p>

* * *

><p>"It will get harder and harder for us to walk in public thanks to Satou, so even helping him won't be that easy."<p>

"Were interrupting this broadcast for important new it seems that a boy from Misaki city names Satou Keisaku, peed his pants when he was on his way to Tokyo. Talk about not being raised well so everyone in Japan we want you to look at this picture of him and laugh as hard as you can. Here's a list of his friends if you also spot them. Laugh your heart out. Only idiots want to be friends with such a big baby hahahaha! "

"OMG! What an idiot. Next time use the toilet before you go outside dork!"

"Yeah you're right only fools would do that."

"I can't believe that such a kid like him has friends' hahaha."

Stupid outside big television screen thing and stupid people. Now we really have to hide till we're sure it's safe.

**Kazumi's POV**

I ran as fast as I could to the Haridan, I can't have people laugh at me because of Satou I need to… "KYA!"

"Oh Sorry Yoshida I didn't know you are also going to the Haridan."

"Ah Tanaka no it's okay I guess we both have the same problem to take care of so let's not waste any time. By the way do you know how Satou peed in his pants?"

"Well the information that I got was that last night he was dragged through the whole town with the others, because they wanted to shop and after that Margery decided to throw a party and stuffed Satou with beer. They were up till late so Satou went straight to bed. He overslept the next day, didn't had time to go to the toilet and the rest is old story."

"Hahahahaha… Well that's mean."

"… I know I wouldn't want to do that to..."

"They didn't even invite me for their shopping night or the party!

"What?"

"Tanaka don't stand just there you want people so spot you and laugh at you?"

"No, I just..."

"THEN HURRY UP, GEEZ NEVER LET A MAN DO A WOMANS JOB THEY ALWAYS SREW IT UP. Seriously fuck this world!"

**Shana's POV**

Okay I decided to stand on top of a bridge in order to have a better look of the city, but still no look… I am so going to kill xxxDreamingflowerxxx.

* * *

><p>A: I have absolute power in this story even Sairei no Hebi or Alastor aren't as powerful as me. I can write and rewrite whatever I want. I can even make you look like a bunch of dorks hahahaha!<p>

* * *

><p>"Alastor, are you sure she isn't the villain in this story?"<p>

"Well, since xxxDreamingflowerxxx wrote this story it's impossible, but I am starting to wonder if that still counts."

* * *

><p>A: HEY!<p>

* * *

><p>"Sign maybe I should just change my name and switch identity with someone else."<p>

"Shana have you forgotten that you're a Flame Haze. In the eyes of the humans you're Hirai Yukari. You don't need to go that far if you let go of Hirai's existence you'll be forgotten by everyone and you won't need to hide again."

"But Yuji disappeared and everyone still remembers him. Are you sure those rules still apply to me?"

"Then I advise you to take the existence of Minamoto Shigeru or Yashichiro Takahashi or Saki Fujita or Barack Obama."

"… The guy who owns Nintendo, the writer of our novels, Hatsune Miku's voice actress, the president of the U.S.? What's wrong with you?"

"Well… I… love the Pokémon games and SSB series and Zelda and all the other games. I am a very big VOCALOID fan especially of Hatsune Miku. Her voice is awesome she's cute and…"

"Yeah yeah I get it… you're an Otaku with a weird mind."

"I wonder how Satou is doing. I am sure he's just fine."

* * *

><p>At Satou, who's hiding somewere.<p>

"I want to go home; I don't like this… mommy. Waahaa!"

"Hey have you seen the nationwide broadcast about that guy who peed in his pants?"

"Yeah it was hilarious, if I'd see him now I would laugh so hard that he'll refuse to leave his home."

"Yeah me too. Hahaha."

* * *

><p><strong>Yuji's POV<strong>

Wow today was awesome. My childhood dream final came true and I was able to do so much more. When I get back to Seireiden, I'll make a photo album of all the pictures I've taking today.

"Well I guess it's finally time to go and get her. I've wandered long enough here and I gave her enough time to make some last memories with the others."

I walked to the bridge were Shana and I fought the incest duo, on my way I saw the volleyball team of my high school doing their afternoon runs. I spotted Ogata among them and she noticed me staring at her. When we crossed paths she stopped for a second and looked at me; "If you keep playing truant I am going to tell Sensei." After that she began to run again.

If she's really going to tell on me I am going to kill her, but first I need to get an explanation from a certain someone… "Hey alter ego. You said I wouldn't have any problems with school, teachers, my classmates or homework, how is it possible for Ogata to remember me and even going to inform the teacher about me not participating in school?"

"How should I know? People are supposed to forget about your existence. This was for me also a complete surprise. Don't expect me to know everything that's happening here."

"… You're useless you know that? And I believed you…"

"Only the things that are connected with school didn't come out as expected, but the other things I promised you came true."

"Fine I'll just let the Tomogara in Bal Masqué handle the school related things and if that won't work out I'll just destroy the school."

"If you do that the balance of this world will become unstable and the results could be worse than when a Tomogara eats the existence of a crowd of humans."

I just ignored him and continued my walk. "Hmm this… place… was… where Shana... was captured by the Aizen incest siblings. If only I was more aware… No I shouldn't think about the past anymore. This time I'll protect her and give her the love that she deserves. Don't worry my love you won't be alone anymore. I'll be coming to get you, because I promised Shana… you won't be alone anymore."

**Shana's POV**

I've spent hours trying to find a shop, but still no luck. Seriously this is the worst day ever. I haven't done a thing, but I need to fulfill my duty... "… Okay I am bored, but I can't abandon Satou, my imago and pride as the Enpatsu Shakugan no Uchite are at stake I can't leave until I found a way to save my image."

* * *

><p>A few hours later…<p>

"Why am I still up here? It's very late and I assume that by now most of the shops are closed now. I guess it's best to call it a day and find Wilhelmina and the Chōshi no Yomite."

"That's a smart decision Shana. You still need to defeat the 8th Pokémon gym and catch Reshiram. It's the moment I've been waiting for ever since you bought Pokémon Black."

I was about to leave, but I suddenly felt a presence behind me. I turned around to face the person I would expect the last to see; Yuji…

We stared at each other for a while until...

"SHAAANAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

* * *

><p>Me: Okay this was chapter 3 I guess I am able to make Yuji a bit romantic, until he talks. This chapter is a bit shorter than the rest, but I still enjoyed writing it. I've been thinking about giving SnH the catchphrase Sakai Yuji, you're and idiot or something along that line, since he says it pretty often. But I am not sure, so I'll let the readers decide.<p>

Sydonay: Why didn't I appear in this chapter?

Me: Sorry Sydonay, but you'll make another appearance in chapter 5.

Sydonay: … Not fair

Me: Well I am surprised that SnH isn't as moody as in chapter one.

Sairei no Hebi: That's because that chapter was a complete torture. I could endure this one.

Wilhelmina: And I got some lines. –De arimasu."

Taimat: Joyous occasion.

Satou: WHAT! NO I HATE YOU. YOU RUINED MY LIFE! I CAN NEVER SHOW MY FACE IN PUBLIC AGAIN!

Yuji: Don't worry Satou I am sure it won't be that bad.

Me: Yeah next chapter will be most focused around Yuji and Shana.

Yuji & Shana: … Great…

Me: O.o Don't answer like that, aren't you supposed to be happy?

Shana: Normally I would, but since you're writing this, I can't think that you won't find a way to ridicule us.

Me: Well anyway till next time everyone.

Rofocale: and don't forget to review... no wait don't review that way I can sing fantastic songs for you.

Me: REVIEW OR ROFOCALE WILL HUNT YOU IN YOUR DREAMS WITH HIS SONGS!


	4. A very joyful reunion

Hey everyone xxxDreamingflowerxxx and again with a new chapter. I really wonder how I am able to update so fast. Again thank you readers and reviewers I hope you'll keep supporting me in the future.

Shana: What kind of torture do you have in mind for us this time?

Me: Shana don't be so mean, I am working very hard to please my fans.

Shana: Working hard? You write these stories in what 7 hours? That's very fast. Most writers take weeks to update their stories.

Me: it's not my fault this fanfic seems to write itself. Now let's not make our fans wait. Shana don't forget the disclaimer.

Shana: Fine, xxxDreamingflowerxxx doesn't own Shakugan no Shana or else the world would have been doomed.

Me: Come on guys I am not that terrible.

* * *

><p>Chapter 4: A very joyful reunion<p>

**Shana's Pov **

I stood there frozen… That was Yuji's first remark? I guess it's expected, since its Yuji… but still... Well I don't have time to keep thinking about this. While he's here I better ask him if he can help us out. "Yuji, you have some clean underwear, some diapers, do you know a shop that's still open and sells them?"

"Huh? What? What are you talking about?"

"Satou peed his pants on his way to Outlaw and now we're forced to look for some clean pants and diapers… we kinda need to find a way how to make sure our reputation, I mean his reputation won't go lower. That's the reason why I am standing on top of this bridge. To get a good view of the stores, but for now I had no luck."

"What the hell has happened to the world while I was asleep?"

"And you're calling me an idiot? From what age do you come from? If we're merged shouldn't you at least know my memories too?"

"Your memories have nothing to do with what happened with your friend. You weren't there when that happened."

"But that has nothing to do with the world. The world has been like this since I was born!"

Has Yuji gone mad or mentally ill? Why is he talking to himself in two different types of voices? "Yuji? Are you alright or do I need to call a psychiatrist? "You know most people who are talking to themselves and having an imaginary friend all end up in the mental institution."

"We're not mentally ill! We merged together, so we can be one again and take the place as the leader Bal Masqué again!"

I noticed Wilhelmina and the Chōshi no Yomite had arrived at the same moment of Yuji's odd declaration. They both stood frozen staring at Yuji for a while.

"… So chibi-chan we have bad news, the diaper hunt was a failure. We couldn't even find one shop that had diapers for Satou."

"This really doesn't look good. Crap what do we do now?"

"I suggest, we quit with the search. –De arimasu. The stores are already closed and it's already too late for Satou, we should better find a way how we can keep our dignity. –De arimasuka."

"A fast escape"

"SHANA! DON'T IGNORE ME? Yuji yelled; Fuzetsu!"

I suddenly noticed that the sky turned… BLACK? But Yuji's flame is supposed to be silver how's that possible?

"I can't believe that you of all people ignored me. Have none of you even noticed my presence when I was walking around the city?"

"Uhm I did, but Margery assumed that I was drunk and ignored me. Everybody knows who the real drunk one is. AHAHAHAHAHA… OUCH!"

"Will you shut it for once baka Marco!"

"Yuji, what is the meaning of this?"

"Well Shana, since you asked since I'll show you."

I couldn't believe what was happening in front of me. Yuji's appearance suddenly changed. He looked like a complete different person. I could see that Wilhelmina and the Chōshi no Yomite were as speechless as I am.

"Oi boy, what the hell happened to your hair and how did you get that armor?"

"I have no idea Marchosias and I don't really care either, but doesn't this make me look badass?"

"You idiot, you really have forgotten what we talked about in chapter 1 haven't you! After we became one, you awoke as the Sairei no Hebi of course your appearance would change try thinking about in what situation you are in!"

"He… is… WHAT? I asked almost screamed.

**Yuji's POV**

Wow I really surprised them… too bad Margery-san and Caramel-san also appeared. Ohh well I guess I'll have to deal with them later. I am sure for now they're trying to think of a way to prison me or defeat me, they must be so scared that…"

"Oi Marchosias, do you know what a Sairei no Hebi is?"

"AAHAHAHA, my beloved goblet Margery Daw… I have actually no idea either."

"…! WHAT?"

Shana sweat drops; "Alastor could you explain?"

"Of course, let me check Shakugan wiki on my iPod touch. The Sairei no Hebi is like me a god of Guze, they call him the Souzoushin. He's kinda the one who created the worlds, but million years ago he became dangerous so the Flame Haze had to imprison him."

"How can you have an iPod, where did you get it? And what was so dangerous about him?"

"I borrowed the iPod from the author…

* * *

><p>A: GIVE BACK YOU THIEF!<p>

* * *

><p>…and the reason the Sairei no Hebi was marked as dangerous was because he wanted to create a city for Tomogara."<p>

Margery-san looked surprised. "What's so dangerous about that? Humans built cities every day and that's normal."

"Yes, but the Sairei no Hebi wanted to fill that city with power of existence. According to the Flame Haze that would be dangerous for the worlds balance and a distortion could occur."

"That still doesn't explain it. In Pokémon Platinum a distortion also occurred and that was fixed easely."

"Uhm Shana you're referring to Pokespecial manga, not the games."

"Ohh…oops."

"What I don't understand, –De arimasu how was Bal Masqué able to keep functioning without their leader?"

"Unexplainable."

I sweat dropped; they can't find out that Bal Masqué is filled with a bunch of freaks and idiots. "Eh… they had already a schedule for future plans of Bal Masqué and they planned to resurrect me."

"Yuji I think you mean to wake you, unless you were killed, but that would have meant that you and I won't have a chance to meet."

"I guess you're right with that. Enough chat, I came to take Shana with me and to make sure I won't get interrupted I'll keep Caramel-san and Margery-san also entertained."

I threw a silver blob at them and it started to take form the moment it came near the two closing them in a silver ball.

"Now Shana we can finally be together, let's go I have so much prepared for you."

"…! WHY THE HELL SHOULD I GO WITH YOU? YOU STOOD ME UP ON CHRISTMAS EVE AND DISSAPEARED WITHOUT SAYING A WORD TO ANYONE! YOU THINK I'VE FORGIVED YOU FOR THAT? YOU SHOULD TRY MORE YOUR BEST WHEN YOU TRY TO IMPRESS A GIRL!"

**Kazumi's POV**

"Yoshida-san what's happening? First ane-san says that the mission has failed and now Sakai appeared?"

"I have no idea, but if we weren't able to help Satou… then what are we still doing here?"

"I have no idea, but since were here, you wanna play a game? Satou can't be saved anyway and this place is saver for us than other places."

"I guess you're right so what kind of game do you wanna play?"

"How about twister or DDR?"

"Sounds fun."

**Yuji's POV**

"Come on Shana I already said I was sorry, it wasn't my fault that I disappeared. I wanted to spend Christmas with you as much as you wanted to, but fate didn't have that planned for us."

"Then how long ago have you returned? And why haven't you come sooner or even informed us?"

"… that is… because of… very important matter, that doesn't concern you Shana."

"Of course it doesn't."

"And didn't I send you and Yoshida-san the letters back? I did that so you could know that I didn't disappear completely."

"Ohh yeah the letters I totally forgot about them."

"So you want to come with me?"

"No way in hell!"

Great if she keeps refusing we'd be here till tomorrow and that gives Margery-san and Caramel-san enough time to escape. I guess I have no other choice, but to use violence. Everyone knows that that's the best solution to get your girlfriend with you when she refuses.

"Shana even if you want it or not, I will take you with me, even if that means I have to fight you." I pulled out Blutsauger and charged at her. Of course Shana dodged the attack and took out Nietono no Shana.

"Haaaah take this Yuji."

**Wilhelmina's POV**

… Is this real? Has the author finally giving me a POV time so I can finally show my skill? –De arimasu. Maybe she isn't so bad. –De arimasuka.

* * *

><p>A: Just keep on with the story or you won't get any other POV time!<p>

* * *

><p>Forget what I said, she's still a bitch. –De arimasu.<p>

So the Chōshi no Yomite and I tried to get out of the silver ball. –De arimasu.

"Maybe I have the solution to get out of here Banjō no Shite. Maybe this ball is made of metal and if we use fire, it will melt and were free!"

"Are you sure you're not drunk? –De arimasu."

"Of course not you see any beer bottles here? Now let's get started MARCOSIAS!"

"HAHAAH, of course my chanting witch Margery Daw!"

"Mirror mirror on the wall."

"Who's the smartest of them all?"

"It can't be Snow White, since she poisoned herself."

"Or Sleeping Beauty, she pricked herself with a spine wheel."

"Maybe Cinderella, but she left her glass slipper."

"And the little mermaid decided to die to save the one she loved."

"So let's show the mirror on the wall."

"Who's the real smart ass of them all?"

The moment they were finished chanting some transparent robes appeared trying to dig a way through the silver ball. –De arimasu.

"Margery-san I'll tell you some secret about the silver armor thingy that you were after, if you'll stop your attacks." Yuji said.

"…! What? WERE HOW WHEN? I WANNA KNOW I WANNA KNOW TELL ME OR ELSE!"

"Don't listen to him Margery you know that that's the Mystes he's just tricking you. He doesn't even pay attention to his surroundings!"

"He's only saying that, because that's where you're the most interested in. –De arimasu."

"Obviously a trap."

"Heh I am not listening to you, so Mystes now TEL ME TEL ME TEL ME TEL ME!"

"As you wish Margery-san, the silver is not a tomogara, but a part of the Sairei no Hebi that appears before humans, who have strong emotions. If those emotions reach a certain level, it appears and acts on those emotions. So in other words when silver appeared it was because it reacted on your hate that you had and it acted on your behalf. Do you understand? That silver was… how should I put it…? …A materialization of your hate."

"Is that really Yuji? He seems to have become smarter. Normally he shouldn't be able to understand these kinds of things and it will take ages to explain it to him." I heard Shana wonder. –De arimasu

By now the Chōshi no Yomite's fave turned pale. "NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! THIS CAN"T BE TRUE THIS CAN'T BE NO, NO NOOOOO! MY DREAM HOW CAN I SELL SILVER TO A MUSEUM NOW. I WON'T BE ABLE TO GET A LOT OF MONEY AND BUY MORE BEER AND WINE! … This… this… I don't wanna fight... anymore… I want to… go home…

I looked surprised at the Chōshi no Yomite. "If you weren't after silver for revenge, why did you want to become a Flame Haze in the first place? –De arimasu.

"So I could drink beer for eternity… now if you excuse me I am going to my emo corner."

… "She did it for beer?"

**Tanaka's POV**

I almost fell when I heard the screaming, good thing I didn't or I'd lose the game.

"Yoshida-san what was that?"

"Margery-san said the only reason she became a Flame Haze was because she wanted to drink beer forever. Pay more attention when people are talking. Geez no wonder your grades are so bad."

"What kind of reason is that for someone to become a Flame Haze?"

"Well since it's Margery-san we shouldn't be surprised, I mean the first thing in the morning she does when she wakes up is dinking."

"I guess you're right."

"Oh and Tanaka, if you keep up with that space I'll beat you easily this round."

"Huh? Oh crap, but don't we need to help ane-san?"

"Oww yeah, give me that communication tag."

I handed the tag to Yoshida-san. "What are you planning to do?"

"Oi Margery-san, can you hear me? If you want to have enough money for alcohol, then why don't you hook up with Satou? He's rich, so you can buy as many alcoholic drinks as you want."

I stared shocked at Yoshida-san. "Yoshida–san you shouldn't say stuff like that."

"Why not?"

"Because I don't think Margery, would fall so low to hook up with Satou just for…"

"BUT KEISAKU ISN'T HERE, REMEMBER! I'VE SEND HIM TO OUTLAW SO HE CAN HELP ME OUT AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHEN HE GET'S BACK!"

I stood there frozen, not even knowing what to say… she'd really do anything for alcohol?

**Wilhelmina POV**

… My… POV again? –De arimasu.

"Unexpected surprise."

* * *

><p>A: Get going you two idiots or this will be the last POV you'll get and you'll get in more trouble than Satou!<p>

* * *

><p>"I'll really get her someday. –De arimasu."<p>

"Revenge."

I looked around and noticed that silver blobs were appearing that started to take the form of a metal MARIO? What is this a video game? –De arimasu. Don't tell me the Mystes has a Mario fetish. –De arimasenka.

"I guess I have no choice, but to fight against these metal Mario's. –De arimasu. I need to protect a sulking Chōshi no Yomite too."

"Super Smash Brothers."

**Yuji's POV**

"Shana you're really a stubborn one, but that's one of your cute aspects. You won't give up until you get what you want, you're smart too, cute, and you have your gentle side."

I saw her trying to hide her blush. "URUSAI, URUSAI, URUSAI! I won't go with you!"

"Ahh and there's the part I love the most about you, you tsundere attitude."

"URUSAIIIII!"

I dodged another attack and landed at what seemed to be my house. I noticed Shana having an odd look before she spoke; "Oh that reminds me Chigusa expects you to at least pay a visit when your little brother is born or else you're going to be sorry for not visiting her."

"Huh wait she knows? And how the? How was she able to read ahead I looked everywhere in the internet, but I couldn't find any site that has the novels"

"I'd recommend you to check . They may have not everything, but most of the chapters are uploaded there. A lot of people know the ending already."

What is the use of having an alter ego conscious, if he doesn't inform me sooner?

"Great, well I guess it's time to get serious for real. I am sorry Shana for doing this, I wish there was another way but there isn't"

"…!"

I grabbed Blutsauger with both hands and filled it with my power of existence and send it to Shana, She tried to counter it, but to no avail.

"KYAAAAAAA!"

A few seconds after my attack hit Shana, she lost conscious and fell. I hurried to her, picked her up and flew off.

**Kazumi's POV**

"Right hand on blue."

"I don't think I can't keep this pose much longer and haven't you noticed that everything became quiet suddenly?" Tanaka asked.

Suddenly the ceiling started to crumble and some guy appeared holding Shana-chan.

"What the…? What has happened, who are you and what are you doing with Shana-chan?" Tanaka asked.

"Oh, I guess you don't recognize me in this form and I am sorry guys for scaring you. I had no idea that you were here."

"That voice? Sakai and Shana-chan is? She's fine right what did you do to her?"

"Why are you two playing twisted and having all different kinds of games lying on the Haridan?"

"Touché."

"Sakai-kun, what are you doing here?"

"Me? Ohh, just fulfilling my dream to have a happy live with my beloved Shana; by creating a new world so Tomogara can live at peace and have no need in devouring humans and Shana won't need to fight anymore. Aaaaand I kinda need the Haridan for that too, so I'll take it with me. Bye bye.

Sakai-kun left leaving both Tanaka and me speechless.

**Yuji's POV**

"~Lalalalala, it's a beautiful day, the sun is still shining and I am feeling okay.~" I sung on my way back to Seireiden.

Really can a guy be happier than this, finally holding the girl he loves in his arms and starting his live living together with her. My dream is finally coming true. "Shana, we're almost home. I really can't wait for our days that will come. ~Forever together you and me, no one else, to disturb our little world.~ Of course there are other things that I need to prepare, but they're not that important compared to Shana."

* * *

><p>Okay that was chapter 4 I hope you guys liked it. I wonder why each new chapter I write is shorter than the other ones. I really hope the following chapters won't become smaller than this T.T. But for the good news guys the next chapter will be a special valentine's chapter. I've been stuck with this idea for almost a week, but since I need to at least have a few chapter finished I couldn't start writing it. So as soon as I have finished writing I will post it.<p>

Shana: ohh great I really can't wait…

Me: Come on Shana it's not so bad.

Yuji: you're writing it of course it is.

Satou: Finally my humiliating will be over. I can try to go outside again.

Me: Not you too Yuji and Satou enjoy your little freedom and time, while it lasts hohoho.

Satou: I really hate you.

Sydonay: Will I make an appearance in the special chapter?

Me: Well the fans wouldn't be happy to have to wait so long for your next appearance so I guess I'll do it.

Sydonay: Yaay I love you xxxDreamingflowerxxx.

Me: I hope in a fan like way… well at least someone appreciates me.

Wilhelmina: We will see you guys the next time and don't forget to review this chapter, since I finally had lines and a POV and if you don't I'll kill you. -De arimasu.

Rofocale: What about my songs?

Me: You'll get your singing time now get out everyone I need to work on the next chapter.


	5. Valentines Special

Rofocale: Welcome to the Valentines Special chapter of xxxDreamingflowerxxx and a lot of thanks to our readers and reviewers.

Me: Rofocale you weren't supposed to come out yet.

Rofocale: Oh sorry.

Me: It doesn't matter anymore just continue.

Rofocale: xxxDreamingflowerxxx doesn't own Shakugan no shana.

* * *

><p>Valentines Special<p>

**Shana's POV**

It's still pretty early in the morning, but for some reason I woke up early.

"Good morning, my lovely Shana!"

"… I am still asleep I guess. I'll just close my eyes and wait till Wilhelmina wakes me."

"Shana you're not sleeping."

Even Alastor is in this dream I wonder what I had last night. Mostly I dream about video games, anime or manga I've read or melon pan. I went back into my sleeping position, when I suddenly felt someone's lips on my neck.

"KYAAAAAAA! Ouch!" Maybe I should be more careful or else I'll fall from the bed each time… Ohh yeah I am in Seireiden after I got kidnapped by Yuji, he kinda locked me up in his room… I hate my life.

I looked angry at Yuji "Don't do that! I am still mad at you and I haven't given you permission to kiss me."

"It was only a peck on your neck, it's my good morning kiss to you. How else am I supposed to show my love to you?"

"How about releasing me?"

"After all the trouble I went to get you? Do you have any idea how much I missed you?"

"What kind of boyfriend disappears without saying a thing, appears out of nowhere, beats up his girlfriend and kidnaps her?"

"I tried to use the gentle way, but you refused."

"And you're still surprised about that?"

"Shana you've been complaining about this since you arrived. Just let it rest for today ok? I have a lot of activities planned for us."

"Activities planned for US? What do you mean?"

"Don't tell me you forgot what day it is today my love."

"I have no idea what you're talking about and stop giving me those creepy pet names. I don't like any of them."

"It's Valentine's Day, you really have lost track of time haven't you?"

I turned pale… is he really serious about this? "Yuji, don't you have other things to do like continue with Bal Masqué's plans?"

"It's Valentine's Day everyone takes a break from their work and nothing is more important than you. Now if you'll excuse me I need to get prepared for our date. I'll send the maids to get you dressed."

He left the room without saying a word.

"So now he decides I can't dress myself and I need some maids to do it for me? …This sucks Alastor is with Yuji and I have no one to talk to, since I am still mad at him."

* * *

><p>A: Isn't Alastor supposed to be inside your body? That Cocytus is only an item to communicate with him… so technically you're not alone.<p>

* * *

><p>"URUSAI, URUSAI, URUSAI! No one asked for your opinion, and aren't you the one always saying that we need to ignore the fourth wall and continue with the story?"<p>

* * *

><p>A: Okay have fun with your boyfriend. Bye bye.<p>

* * *

><p>"Wait no! Come back I don't have anyone else to talk to! … Damn her, why does the author only appear when you don't want her to? Okay I guess there's no other way, than to find a way out of here."<p>

I suddenly heard a knock on the door; "Shana-sama, we have brought your clothes, please take a bath and get ready soon."

… I can't believe it. I really have no choice, but to obey them and the worse is I can't even play my video games or eat melon pan.

**Sydonay's POV**

I was skipping happily through the halls of Seireiden, while carrying a bouquet of flowers and some chocolate. Oh how much I love Valentine's Day. The days were I can give Hecate my presents and my love, without getting send out to another mission. I am so happy, I feel like doing my happiness dance.

"Sydonay what are you doing acting ridiculous while carrying that?"

"Also hello Bel Peol, I am sure you don't know what day it is today."

"Of course I know what day it is. It's Valentine's Day. All the restaurants took out big boards with valentines menu's and placed them outside and our commander kept babbling about this for days. Seriously his obsession with the Enpatsu Shakugan no Uchite is going too far and so is your obsession with Hecate and children."

"You only say that because you know nothing about love and you criticize others who do know love. So now I am going to make Hecate happy by giving her my flowers and presents."

"I don't call your view of love, love and you do know that in Japan girls give boys chocolate and presents on Valentine's Day, the guys do that on White's Day." (1)

"…. Who cares, I am still going to give my presents to my cute Hecate."

I continued skipping my way through Seireiden leaving Bel Peol. I just heard her mumbling something under her breath. She really needs to get a live." I noticed that the Tomogara I passed were giving me strange looks and some were snickering. I guess that they also need a live.

"My cute Itadaki no Kura Hecate, you don't need to wait long. Sydonay will some and give you your present."

**Rofocale's POV**

~the most beautiful day of the year

You hear their happy cheers

It turns me so on like this sing along

Come on let me hear…

Your moans, your cries

I don't want down there to feel dry

Jump and scream, please for tonight give me a wet dream.

Children of a year old come on let me hear you shout

Onii-sama, give me more sweets

No not like that kind of beats

Pour it in our mouths

Before your little one is out.~

I love Valentine's Day so much, with all the couples and I can sing great songs of this day to make all the children in the world happy. Nothing is better than showing your love through songs.

I was about to continue my song when I suddenly saw a cute looking Tomogara staring at me, I think Phirsyon was her name. The genderless Tomogara, that looks like and adorable child.

"Pirsoyn-chan isn't it?"

*gulp* "No no no I don't know any Pirsoyn, I gotta go I think Ribersal is calling me."

I grabbed her just in time and put her on my lap. She flinched.

"Don't worry I won't hurt you in fact I just came up with a song especially for you."

"That's very nice, but no thank you."

I ignored her and started to sing.

~Ohh Pirsoyn-chan for a special day like this

I'll let you have a nice look at my dick

You can touch it were you want

It will make me feel nice and warm

I'll give you all the love you need

I my body feels hot it's filled with greed

Let me love you more and more

Let's fill this love juice it's all for…

You.~

"How did you like the song? No don't say anything I have many more for you."

"…! *&%$!"

* * *

><p>A few hours later…<p>

~let's have more sex

You know that I'm the best

Let me warm your sticky body with mine

Ohh this feeling it feels so fine

I can't keep it in anymore

I am cuming more than a whore

For this night I might get you as well

This unforgettable memory that can overcome hell.~

I suddenly heard some footsteps approaching. I guess there's some Tomogara who decided to keep working.

"Who was singing those horrible songs? It may be Valentine's Day, but that doesn't give any reason to disturb… OMG what are you doing to Phirsyon?"

"Ribersal-sama is everything alright or, OMG it's him! And he made Pirsoyn a victim?"

"… Ribersal-sama… Stolas-sama… Purson-sama… help…please…"

"I did nothing wrong with Pirsoyn-chan I was only singing Valentine's songs."

"That's the whole problem -nya. Let go of Pirsoyn –nya." (2)

"The kitty is right."

"DON'T CALL ME A KITTY! -Nya. I AM A TOMOGARA LION! -Nya"

"Let's just save Pirsoyn and get out of here Purson."

They immediately grabbed Pirsoyn-chan and ran away.

"Huh hey wait why are you taking Pirsoyn-chan away from me? *sign* Maybe if I go look for children to sing my songs to…"

**Shana's POV**

So, I am getting dragged around by Yuji from one activity to another and I only get to rest when we're having lunch…

"Yuji you do know that the guys give presents to the girls on White's Day and Valentine's Day is where the girls do that."

"For humans it is, but for Flame haze and Tomogara, it doesn't matter. So enjoy this day that we'll spent together. All the other days I am busy with making preparations for the grand order."

"…Not true you mostly sneak away early and start bugging me."

"There's nothing wrong with spending your time with the one you love and if I come later you'll be asleep."

"That's the point…" Seriously how can he act like nothing happened? "Why didn't you give me my own private room? It's very uncomfortable having to share a room with you."

"There nothing wrong with a couple sleeping together, plus seeing your cute sleeping face always calms me and makes me do my job right. Now let's go there so much more that we can do."

… I… I… still won't… forgive… him… *blush*

* * *

><p>A few hours later…<p>

"Shana, look all these presents I got you."

"I don't need presents… if you'd give me Nietono no Shana back and undo the Hougu; Tartaros, that's sealing my powers I'd be very happy."

"Nice try, but no. Now what else shall we do."

This is the weirdest day ever.

**Sydonay's POV**

"HECATE-CHAAAAAAN, please take my bouquet and chocolates!"

"… -_- No thanks…"

"But the chocolate is very delicious…"

"No thanks…"

"And the bouquet was very expensive."

"No thanks…"

"I was working very hard on getting these for you."

"No thanks…"

"I even got you a very big and cute teddy bear."

"Is it one of those kinds that's carrying a big heart saying I love you or something along that line?"

"Yes, why you…?"

"Then no thanks…"

"But I really really wanted to…"

"Don't you have other things to do instead is annoying me? Go molest kids you hentai Jiji."

"…" She… she… called… me… a… pervert… old… ma… man…? I suddenly felt like my world collapsed, is this how the commander felt before he went to get the Enpatsu Shakugan no Uchite? I lost my will to do anything at all. Hecate started at me for a few seconds and left after that.

* * *

><p>As I kept lying in a corner in fetus position, Bel Peol walked by and looked at me.<p>

"I told you so, there's no way Hecate will accept anything you'd give her and now excuse me I need to go visit a few restaurants. Since its valentine's day most have special menu's that I want to try out. Gosh I love this day so much."

"I hate my life…"

**Normal POV**

At the small private bar of Sereiden, gosh this place really has everything, maybe it even has a swimming pool. Anyway Ribersal and the others successfully saved Phirsyon from Rofocale and his songs. They decided to go to the bar in the hope that they could get Pirsoyn back to normal.

"Don't worry Pirsoyn, you're save here Rofocale won't follow us plus we're here to protect you," Ribersal assured.

"The… songs… so… horrible… brain… stopped… functioning…"

"That's what you get from this stinky day."

The group turned around to see the owner of the voice; it was the mercenary Sabrac. (3)

"What's wrong with Valentine's Day?" Stolas asked.

"I hate Valentine's Day."

"Why?" They asked in unison.

"It happened a long time ago, when I was still a cold mercenary."

"And what are you now then?"

"Don't interrupt me, I was traveling together with a friend of mine, she was surprisingly good in cooking… blah blah blah."

"This sounds boring –nya, let's go guys –nya."

And so they left while Sabrac was still babbling about his boring love story.

**Shana's POV**

Finally after the long date with Yuji we got back at Seireiden. I am so tired, who could have guessed that Yuji is so energetic. If only my powers weren't sealed I would be able to have more stamina.

"Today was the best day ever, the activities were very entertaining, well as long as I am going out with you every day is great. Don't you agree Shana?"

I tried to hide my blushing face, why is Yuji so outgoing about this?

"Ohh commander you're back already. I can see on your face that you've had a great time. Although I do have to say I am surprised that the Enpatsu Shakugan no Uchite didn't tried to escape."

"How am I able to escape if Yuji is dragging me everywhere and keeping every second an eye on me and with your Hougu, that's sealing my powers?"

"It's only natural for a couple to go out on Valentine's Day and spent the whole day together, my love."

I think I need to puke.

"Anyway I can see that you also had a great day Bel Peol."

"With all those restaurants who were offering those deliciously cheap valentines menus of course I had a great day. Wow I am so stuffed I am going to relax the rest of the day."

"Now Shana I have still one more present for you."

"For the last time I don't need anything, why aren't you listening to me? If you really want to give me something I want then how about my freedom?"

"Stop asking that Shana, you know I can't do that. We went out the whole day. I planned this whole day for you. Shouldn't you be happy?"

Again I tried to hide my blush; "I guess... today wasn't that bad…"

Yuji looked surprised at my declaration. Is it me or has he gotten a good hearing. Or he can hear everything that involves me.

"OMG SHANA THAT WAS SO SWEET OF YOU I LOVE YOU SOO MUCH!"

And before I could react he suddenly kissed me on the lips.

* * *

><p>Yaay and that was our Valentines Special. Pretty cute isn't it? Since it's Valentine's day I just had to put a little bit a fluff and for the fans who haven't seen the anime or don't have much knowledge about Japanese Valentine's day I've put some small notes.<p>

(1) In Japan they celebrate Valentine's Day a little bit different; the girls give chocolate to the boy that they like in the hope that he'll accept it. You have also giri-chocolate, which are given to friends or family. The boys get their turn on White's Day, which is celebrated on the 14th of March. That's where the guy's give their presents to the girls they like.

(2) Nya is the sound that a cat makes in Japan, since Purson is a lion like Tomogara I decided to make him say nya after every sentence. Makes him look cute instead of dangerous XD.

(3) More detailed info about Sabrac will be explained in the main story.

Me: Well wasn't that a nice chapter or not?

Shana: Well it could be worse so for this only time I'll say you did a pretty good job.

Me: Shana… are you… complimenting me? Wow this is the first time I must record this.

Shana: Please don't.

Pirsoyn: YOU RUINED MY LIVE! I WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO SLEEP OR LISTEN TO MUSIC AGAIN!

Me: We have shrinks for that. Okay guys see you next time and don't forget to review.


	6. Plans, manhood and other annoying crap

Hello everyone and welcome to chapter 5 of my fanfic. I'd like to thank the readers and reviewers for your support and I'll hope you'll continue reading.

Yuji: You took longer than normal.

Me: What do you mean?

Yuji: You haven't posted anything yesterday.

Me: I posted 2 chapters on Monday what else would you expect?

Yuji: What kind of life do you have?

Me: One that you will never understand and never have. Now we can't let our readers wait any longer, Alastor.

Alastor: I had only one line in the Valentines Special…

Me: Shut up and be happy that you can do the disclaimer.

Alastor: Fine fine. xxxDreamingflowerxxx doesn't own Shakugan no Shana, if she did… I wonder how long I'd last.

Me: URUSAI, URUSAI, URUSAI! Well then let's begin.

* * *

><p>Chapter 5: Plans, manhood, and other annoying crap<p>

**Shana's POV**

Okay where am I? I don't remember coming to such a gloomy dark place maybe I am just… Ohh manga and anime DVDs, a Nintendo Wii and a PSP, and Xbox and a 3DS and what game is this? OMG Pokemon+Nobunaga's ambition? Wasn't this game supposed to come out months later? Yay I can even continue playing Kingom hearts and Xenoblade. How lucky am I, god must love me a lot.

* * *

><p>A: *Coughcoughyeshedoescoughcough* *snicker*<p>

* * *

><p>What was that annoying noise? OHH MY A FREAKING BIG MELON PAN?<p>

"Yes Shana I am a giant melon pan I was summoned to appear for you,"

Wow it even talks this is the best day of my life. "Have you come so I can eat you?"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, no I am here to take away you video games, manga, anime and anything else that will give you pleasure."

"WAIT, YOU WHAT? NOOO PLEASE COME BACK! What have I ever done to deserve this? I love you big giant melon pan please come back and let me eat you! NOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

><p>Wha? … "Good it was just a nightmare no melon pan would take away my joy and pleasure. I should just go back to…"<p>

I suddenly fell some arms grabbing my waist and hugging me thigh.

"Mhmmm, Shana my Shana I love you so much."

"…" Maybe that nightmare isn't that bad compared to being suffocated by a sleeping Yuji. I covered my head with a pillow still hoping that this is the actual nightmare.

**Bel Peol's POV**

"So what's the content of the list that the commander gave you Bel Peol?" Sydonay asked.

"Mmh let's see;

Music: anyone with experience except for Rofocale…

Food: A Tomogara with cooking experience

Decoration: Big Tomogara that can reach high places or Tomgara with flying ability

Guest list: Decide yourselves

Location: Bel Peol or Sydonay can decide… no just Bel Peol…"

Dress for Shana: Any Tomogara with sewing experience.

Lights: Dantalion under the supervision of one of the others

Priest: Sydonay

And the list goes on like that.

"…What kind of list has our commander given you? What has this to do with the grand order and how are we supposed to know who does what? Shouldn't Hecate be better for the part that he's given me?"

"I have no idea Sydonay. He only gave me the list and said nothing else. Since the commander demanded this we can't disobey his orders… "

"Now that I think of it, isn't the commander just slacking off? Since the moment he brought the princess (1) here, he's done nothing except for spending time with her. He sneaks away early from the meetings, the only thing he has ordered is for some of us to go out and attack Outlaw headquarters."

"General what about the other list?"

"What do you mean Haborym?"

Haborym is a Tomogara with 2 heads, he wears a gas mask on both heads and a long jacket… you can compare him with someone from a horror movie except that he misses a chainsaw.

"I mean the list the priestess got from our commander, the one that has the plans of the grand order."

"Why didn't she inform anyone about this?"

**Hecate's POV**

*Stares at the stars*(2)

… -_- "What are you looking at?"

... I'll just ignore the readers…

*keeps staring at the stars.*

… "Why do I feel like I am forgetting something important?"

**Bel Peol's POV**

"The priestess behavior is almost as bad as that of our commander!"

"Calm down Ribersal, she's always been like that. You don't wish to get on her bad side do you?" Lerajjie asked. Leraje is a Tomogara that takes the appearance of a white haired woman. She wears a white dress and she has a crazy obsession with voodoo. It's better to not be her enemy if you love your live.

"By the way, what happened to Pirsoyn?"

"… Songs… hours …children … Rofocale… sex… arousing… penis… scream… cream… moans… please… kill me."

"Uhm, she became Rofocale's victim. She's mentally unstable at the moment and is not able to join us for a while." Stolas answered.

"I feel sorry for her. You know what they say live is cruel."

Suddenly a blue seal appeared out of nowhere and a giant fish came out of it; Sorry for my tardiness, the party lasted longer than I expected."

"Decarabia how many times do we have to tell you; don't go to a party, when you know that you have a meeting in a few hours?"

"I am sorry, but this was a VIP party, the drinks, the presents and the music were terrific."

"*^%&%$! MU… MUS… MUSIC! HE'S HERE! NOOOO LETMEGELETMEGELETMEGELETMEGE! HE'S GOING TO TORTURE ME MORE. PLEASE I'LL DO ANYTHING KILL ME, KILL ME, KIIIIIILLLLL MEEEE!"

I signed; "Let's just continue with what we have here."

**Shana's POV**

I was staring at the sky outside… well it's not like I have something else to do. I have no one to talk to atm. Alastor decided to go with Yuji to 'spy' on Bal Masqué, hah I am sure the real reason is because he wanted to do something instead of being stuck here with me. Nice isn't he? This is really hell I can't play video games, read manga, watch anime or eat melon pan. My Katana is taken away from me, my powers are sealed and Yuji only wants to do couple stuff with me… well that's not that bad since I won't be that alone… but he doesn't consider what I want and I am still mad at him! With only apologies, presents, giving me attention and all the other things he does, won't make it any better…

I miss Wilhelmina and Shiro…

* * *

><p>*Flashback time!*<p>

I was an orphan who ran away from the orphanage I didn't liked it there, it was scary and some of the other orphans disappeared without a trace and sometimes I heard screaming and sometimes I got the feeling like there were people staring at me. So one night, when I heard footsteps coming to my room I decided to run away.

I ran and ran till I was tired and hungry. I was all alone and started to cry.

"Waahaaa! I am hungry *sob* I am lonely *sob*I am scared *sob and I want my mommy Waahhaaa!"

Suddenly I picked up the scent of something sweet. I was very hungry so I decided to follow the scent. The source of that scent was melon pan that a skeleton, wearing a purple cape was eating. He noticed my presence and approached me. I tried to hide behind a bush, but I noticed that he was offering me some melon pan. I stared at him for a while, until I took the food and began to eat. The skeleton turned around and walked away. I decided to follow him.

* * *

><p>That was my first meeting with Shiro. He was the one who let me meet Wilhelmina and Alastor; he gave me a home, a family and happy memories. He taught me the joy of being alive, unlike some mean old grandmother who can only yell and curse and say mean stuff to you.<p>

* * *

><p>*Flashback time again*<p>

"No, no, no, no! you're doing it wrong! That's not how you clean your room! Seriously who raised you till now? A bunch of hooligans?"

"This is the first time I have to clean my room grandma. Wilhelmina used to clean for me."

"THAT'S A LAME EXCUSE! EVEN YOUR WRITING IS CRAP! I CAN'T EVEN TAKE A BITE OF YOUR COOKING WITHOUT HAVING SOMEONE ELSE TO TASTE IT AND IT ALWAYS KILLS SOMEONE OR GIVES THEM FOOD POISENING! GO BUY A BOOK ABOUT COOKING FOR TOTAL LOSERS!"

I wonder why she's respected by other Flame Haze; I guess they just don't want to get scolded by her. Even the most proud Flame Haze will need some therapy after one minute having to listen to her insults.

"AND WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOUR TRAINING EVEN A BABY COULD DO BETTER THAN YOU! YOU'RE SUCH A FAILURE OF A FLAME HAZE. I WONDER WHY ALASTOR WANTED TO MAKE A CONTRACT WITH YOU IN THE FIRST PLACE!"

"You may not believe it, but she has really the potential to become one of the strongest Flame haze ever."

"SHUT UP YOU USELESS GOD! WHERE WERE YOU WHEN WE WERE FIGHTING THE SAIREI NO HEBI? SLACKING OFF? DOING NOTHING BUT CRAPPY THINGS, BEING LAZY AND FUCKING YOURSELF? YOU MADE YOUR CONTRACT AFTER WE SEALED HIM? YOU LAZY BITCH!"

That's how my days with my grandmother are. God, I can't wait to get out of this place.

* * *

><p>I stared at the sky again…"That's it, I'm out of here."<p>

I walked to the balcony and climbed over it. Took out a robe, don't ask me where I got it from and tied it to the balcony. This will be escape attend number 9999.

"SHANA, I am back. Now let's get something to eat and… WHAT ARE YOU TRYING TO DO?"

Crap he's back. Yuji grabbed me quickly by my wrist and took me inside.

"ARE YOU TRYING TO KILL YOURSELF AGAIN? HAVEN'T YOU LEARNED ANYTHING FROM THE OTHER 9998 TIMES? YOU TRIED TO CLIMB UP THE ROOF, CUT YOURSELF WITH A SWORD, TRIED TO ACT LIKE A NINJA, TRIED TO TACKLE THE MAID WHO WAS BRINGING IN YOUR FOOD, YOU EVEN TRIED TO FOOL THE OTHER TOMOGARA INTO FREEING YOU, YOU POISEND THE FOOD, ALMOST FLOODED WHOLE SEIREIDEN WITH WATER, YOU BLEW YOURSELF UP AND A LOT OF OTHER IDIOTIC ACTIONS!"

"Well Shana has been stuck here for days without any games, manga, anime or melon pan. I am not surprised she tries to suicide."

We both ignored Alastor. How can he think like that about his own contractor?

"I didn't try to suicide, I tried to escape and for your information I tried to blow up the room not myself it just ended up a bit wrong and by the way sensei has a lot of homework for you and punishment work for skipping classes."

"Your powers are sealed remember? If you tried to escape you'll kill yourself and the members of Bal Masqué are in charge of my school matters. If sensei isn't pleased with that I'll just have to blow up the school and kill every teacher."

How can a Tomogara go to school in Yuji's place? Everyone will notice that, right?

I was too occupied with my thought that Yuji caught me off guard when he pulled me close.

"Seriously you're so reckless Shana. I was really scared for a moment." He said gently.

He started to kiss me. I tried to break free, but it ended up in both of us falling on the bed…

Yuji stared at me for a while till he started to touch me on weird places and my brain froze…

"Commander I came here to tell you that…"

Yuji and I looked up to see that the visitor was no one else than Shikabane Hiroi, Lamies. He was staring at us with a shocked expression on his face.

"I am sorry for interrupting you two. I'll take my leave now." He turned around and closed the door leaving me alone with Yuji…

"WAIT COME BACK YOU NEED TO HELP ME!"

"Shana after your small trick of today you think I'll leave you? You have no idea how long I've been holding in." He started to kiss me again.

What! No please someone… "!"

**Wilhelmina's POV**

After the Valentines Special I am finally back. –De arimasu.

"Joyous moment."

Tiamat and I are visiting the Mystes's mother to inform her about her son's whereabouts. –De arimasu

"I see so Yu-chan merged with his old self, became the leader of some organization called Bal Masqué and kidnapped Shana-chan. That's pretty confusing."

"Indeed it is. –De arimasu."

"As long as he'll keep up with school, keeps in touch with his family and treads Shana-chan well it shouldn't be a problem, but he really has to be here when his brother is born."

I wonder if the Mystes really would think about that. – De arimasu. He is mostly thinking about Shana. –De arimasuka.

"Love obsession."

"Thanks a lot for informing me Caramel-san, Taimat-san and if you have more news about Yu-chan I'd be happy to hear it."

"The pleasure is ours. –De arimasu. If we hear news about your Mystes son you'll be the first to hear. –De arimasuka."

* * *

><p>It seems like we have received a lot of letters today. –De arimasu.<p>

"Hard times."

I took the letters and began the open them; "This one seems to be from the Shin'i no Yuite, I wonder what's bothering her now?"

Dear Banjō no Shite,

News is spreading that one accident after another is occurring in Misaki city and that Shana has been kidnapped by their leader, ARE FUCKING KIDDING ME? WHAT KIND OF BABYSITTER ARE YOU IF YOU CAN'T KEEP TRACK OF ONE LITTLE FLAME HAZE! ON TOP OF THAT THE ONE WHO KIDDNAPPED HER IS HER BOYFRIEND! OHH FUCK GOD! I KNEW SHE'D GET HERSELF INTO TROUBLE SHE'S SO WORTHLESS AND THAT'S ALL THANKS TO YOU! YOU MOTHER FUCKING BITCH! WELL I AM NOT SURPSISED THAT SHE HOOKED UP WITH THE LEADER OF THE ENEMY, SINCE SHE WAS A FAILURE TO BEGIN WITH, JUST LIKE YOU AND EVERYBODY ELSE THAT RAISED HER. ALASTOR SEEMS ONLY TO BE ABLE TO GET A CONTRACT WITH A BUNCH OF SLUTS! ONLY HOOKING UP WITH GODS!(3) THEIR ALL IDIOTS AND WHILE YOU'RE SLACKING OFF ALL THE OTHER FLAME HAZE AT OUTLAW(4) ARE GETTING KILLED, ACTUALLY THAT'S THEIR FAULT FOR NOT BEING STRONGER EVEN THE CHŌSHI NO YOMITE IS USELESS. GETTING EMO ALL OVER AN STUPID PIECE OF STEEL SO SHE CAN GET DRUNK. STUPID SLUT! WHY IS EVERYONE IN THIS SHITTY WORLD SO WORTHLESS! IS EVERYONE EXPECTING ME TO SOLVE THEIR FUCKING PROBLEMS? AND WHATS WRONG WITH YOUR OUTFIT? ARE YOU EXCPETING SOME PIMP TO ORDER YOU TO FUCK HIM? OR DO YOU THINK THAT PEOPLE WOULD HIRE YOU FOR A SERVING JOB, WELL THAT SUITS A BITCHY SLUT LIKE YOU! HOW ARE WE ABLE TO SURVIVE IF WE'RE SUPPOSE TO DEPEND ON A KIDNAPPED, USELESS, TITLESS FLAME HAZE, WHO GETTING FUCKED BY HER BOYFRIEND, A DRUCKEN FLAME HAZE WITH A PAIR OF MELON TITS, IS SHE EXPECTING BOYS TO SUCK THOSE? A FLAME HAZE WHO'S ONLY USEFULL FOR SERVING THE LOW CLASS AND DOESN'T KNOW WHAT FASHION SENSE MEANS, AN OLD NUT WHO LOOKS LIKE A 6 YEAR OLD CHILD, HIS ONLY USE IS FOR PEDOPHILES TO ABUSE HIM OVER AND OVER AND SOME UGLY DELINQUENT WHO CAN ONLY BECOME A PRISON BITCH! DON'T LET ME START ABOUT THOSE USELESS GUZE NO OU'S OF YOURS. START USING YOUR BRAIN YOU OLD FUCKING TARTS DON'T LET YOUR CONTRACTORS DO ALL THE WORK. YOU HAVE BRAINS FOR A REASON SO USE THEM YOU BRAINLESS BASTARDS!

I put away the letter and checked the other letters. –De arimasu "… The sender of all letters is the Shin'i no Yuite… -De arimasuka.  
>"Pile of complains."<p>

"If Outlaw offices all over the world are being attacked by Bal Masqué, how come I haven't got any letters to help out in the war? –De arimasu."

"Lazy old hag."

I took all the letters outside and decided to burn them. "If she's complaining about nobody doing something useful, then why isn't she going out herself? –De arimasu."

"Selfish bitch."

"I wonder if Shana is save. –De arimasu."

**Tanaka's POV**

"Hello, with Tokyo Outlaw office. Can I help you with something?"

"I was wondering… if a person named Satou Keisaku has arrived there some time ago."

"You mean the pee pants guy? What are you friends with that loser? HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Uhm, I think I got the wrong number. I am sorry for interrupting you."

I hung up the phone and headed to the room went were ane-san is sulking.

"So how did it go boy?"

"No luck Marchosias, the woman at the other line laughed and made fun of us and when I mentioned Satou ."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, what else would you expect he's the laughing stock of the whole country. I'd be surprised if we're able to get out of this mess."

"I think that by now the whole world is aware of it, thanks to the internet. Have you any idea how many people have Facebook? News like this will be spread around the world in a few seconds."

I turned around to check how ane-san was doing… She was still in the emo corner sulking.

"Beer *sulk* …alcohol *sulk* …no sell to museum *sulk* …no silver *sulk* no money *sulk*."

I think she's saying those words in the wrong order.

"Heh, He's completely alone in this, with our beloved sulking Margery Daw, who's still in emo mode and the Banjō no Shite, who's busy with finding a way to save chibi-chan. HAHAHAHA!"

"I actually think that Shana-chan is saver there than here."

**Normal POV**

Back at Seireiden are Bel Peol and Sydonay busy with an important discussion.

"The commander needs to get serious and start focusing on our goals. He's been fooling around with the princess too much."

"Don't be so heartless Bel Peol, you need time for love or else it'll wither like a flower."

"Sydonay… for the last time you and Hecate will never be together."

"YOU KNOW NOTHING ABOUT LOVE, SO DON'T JUDGE US! WE'RE MADE FOR EACHOTHER, WE'RE MADE FOR EACHOTHER! WHEN YOU HAVE EXPERIENCED LOVE ON YOUR OWN THEN YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO SAY THOSE NASTY THINGS! My Hecate wouldn't hate me, but I wonder why Hecate didn't attend the meeting."

"I guess it's mostly because of you and she has other matters to take care of too."

**Hecate's POV**

… -_- "…What are you looking at? Do I need something from you people?"

Why do they keep bothering me?

*gets annoyed* … I put my hands in my pocket and I feel… a piece of paper…

"… Ah I was supposed to give this to Bel Peol… …I can do that later. It's not like she needs it now."

**Fecor's POV**

"CAN'T YOU GUYS LEAVE ME ALONE FOR ONCE? DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW MANY HOSPITAL APPOINEMENTS I NEED TO CANCEL BECAUSE OF YOU BEL PEOL-SAMA! MY BACK HURTS SO MUCH!"

"Fecor this is more important that your health and you know that."

"Seriously I am going to die because of you. I demand that you'll pay everything for my funeral when that happens!"

"Fecor you're a Guze no Ou you can't die because of your age or health problems. How can you even have health problems in the first place?"

"SHUT UP!"

"That's enough Fecor we need to talk to the professor now." Sydonay said.

*Mock mock* "Fine!"

An image appeared before us and Domino showed up.

"Hello Bel Peol, Sydonay and Fecor, is there something you want?"

"Get the professor will you? We want to know how your progressing is going."

"Of course, PROFESSOR YOU"RE... Ouch!"

"DOOOOMMMIINOOOOO WHYYYY AARE YOOOU SLAAACKIIIING OOOFF?"

"Professor the report! The report! Don't let them wait so long!"

"THE EXPEEEEERIIIMENTTTT GOOOOES VEEERY WELL, BUT I NEEEEED MORE GUUUUUIIIINEEEAAA PIGS FOR… I MEAN EEEEVRYYYYYTHIIIING IS READYYYYYYY! WEEE HAVEEEE CHEEECCKKEEED ALLLL THE BLAAH BLAH…"

"Fecor we're done here disconnect please."

**Hecate's POV**

… -_- "Could you please stop with giving me POVs? I am getting annoyed by this."

* * *

><p>A: No way, your fans want to read more of you and as the author of this story I can't ignore their pleas.<p>

* * *

><p>-_- "…I don't care about that."<p>

* * *

><p>A: What's wrong with you most characters would die for more lines. You should see Wilhelminda, Tiamat and Alastor.<p>

* * *

><p>-_- Just ignore her like everyone else...<p>

"MY CUTE ITADAKI NO KURA HEEEECAAAATEEEEE-CHAAAAAAN. I MISSED YOU SO MUCH! GIMME A HUG!"

-_- Great now the pedo is here too… *evades*

"Ouch!"

"Stop with this idiocy of yours even our commander acts saner than you and I am not yours. I'd be happy if you were gone for a few more days to chase after some bunch unfortunate children or get caught by the police."

"…! He… he… Hecate…-chan… ha…hate… hates me… WAAAHHAAAAA!"

I watched him as he went into the emo corner. Great now he's crying what an annoying guy… I spotted Bel Peol leaning against the wall, at least someone who is sane and has a brain…

"Didn't I tell you Sydonay? You and Hecate will never be together no matter what you try."

-_- I need a very long vacation…

**Shana's POV**

I have no idea how long it's been since that … horrific moment and I don't care. My brain lost track of everything and I can't even think. God I can't even get the memory out of my head and I hate the feelings that I got it makes me uneasy.

"This is all that stupid authors fault!"

* * *

><p>A: You shouldn't complain you're better off than Phirsyon. Plus compared to anime characters Like Tomoki from Sora no Otoshimono and Saito from Zero no Tsukaima, Yuji isn't that bad and weren't you the one who wanted to know how babies are made?(5)<p>

* * *

><p>"…..! %$&amp;*#$!"<p>

* * *

><p>And that was chapter 5 I hope you guys liked it. I'll guess I have to do some explanation too for the readers who haven't watched season 3.<p>

(1) Shana is being called princess by the Tomogara, since she's the lover of their leader.

(2) Hecate is a girl who doesn't express her thought or feelings a lot so that's why I decided to do it like this.

(3) I kinda forgot to explain what Outlaw is in the other chapters XD so I'll do it now. Outlaw is an organization established by humans and Flame Haze to help Flame Haze. They provide all kinds of information and in each country is an Outlaw building. The headquarters of Outlaw is in Zurich, where Sophie Sawallisch is in charge of

(4)Shana is Alastor's second contractor, his first contractor was Mathilde Saint-Omer. She was in love with him. Lucky for her he returned her feeling, pretty awkward having the one you're in love with living in your body.

(5) Episode 22 of season 2 guys.

Me: And again another master piece hohohoho.

Shana: I hate you so much.

Pirsoyn: Me too.

Me: Stop complaining it happened in episode 5 of the anime too.

Shana: No it didn't.

Me: Well to me it looked like a sex/rape scene and I am sure I am not the only one who thinks that. So let it rest it's not like I will change the story just to please you. I care more for my readers that your little problems.

Alastor: I don't call their problems little.

Me: Shut up Alastor.

Alastor: I was just saying...

Shana: Let's kill her in her sleep.

Pirsoyn: I would love to try that.

Me: Yeah go ahead and I'll rip your dignity, pride and cut it in pieces.

Yuji: I wouldn't mind to join the killing party.

Sairei no Hebi: Me too

Me: I think I gotta run now... okay guys till next chapter bye bye... SOMEONE SAVE ME!


	7. Prison break a la Flame Haze

Shana: Hello everyone and welcome to the sixth chapter of this story. We'd like to thank all the readers and reviewers for supporting us.

Yuji: I am sure you're all expecting xxxDreamingflowerxxx to be here, but she's a bit busy today.

*inside a closet* Me: GET ME OUT OF HERE OR YOU'LL REGRET IT!

Sariei no Hebi: That's why where here to welcome the fans. Now Pirsoyn the disclaimer.

Pirsoyn: xxxDreamingflowerxxx doesn't own Shankugan no Shana or else we'd all be in strike and it would take months for you guys to watch the anime.

* * *

><p>Chapter 6: Prison break a la Flame Haze<p>

**Satou's POV**

"So this is Tokyo's Outlaw?" I was standing in front of a big building, it looked more like a company building, but I guess that's because Outlaw needs to be kept hidden.

"I hope I'll get help here. I am tired of hiding from public, while everyone makes fun of me and even my friends are suffering from it."

I entered to building and got greeted by a man with blonde hair and a white suit.

"Welcome to Tokyo Outlaw, I am the Gaiku no Kaete Ernest Flieder, the contractor of Ouka no Gigei, Brigid." He pointed at a red rose that he was wearing.

"We… we're happy to have you. You must be the guy that the Chōshi no Yomite, Margery Daw sent right?"

"… You guys are not going to call me names? Like pee pants guy? Or piss man?"

"*snicker* Why would we call you that? Heheh."

For a moment I thought he was trying to hide his laugher. I must have imagined that.

"Could you please give me your communication tools? For vague reasons we have to confiscate it."

That doesn't sound suspicious to me, that Flieder guy seems to be nice. "Okay take my mobile, my purple glow in the dark sticker and this paper walky talky that I got from Margery-san."

"Thank you, now could you follow me please to this not suspicious chamber?"

"Uhm okay… it looks really big and luxurious. Say do I have to wait here for someone to…"

I suddenly heard the sound of a door slamming behind me and getting locked.

"HAHAHAHA , YOU SUCKER! DID YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT OUTLAW DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT YOU PEEING ACCIDENTLY LOSERRR! BE AN OBIDIENT KID AND STAY THERE FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIVE OR ELSE YOU'LL HIMULIATE EVERY FLAME HAZE THAT EXISTS. GOSH IF OUR REPUTATION WOULD BE RUINED THIS WOULD BE A GREAT VIDEO FOR YOUTUBE."

"WHAT? No please come back; I am claustrophobic! Don't lock me in here please I am begging you I'll do anything, just get me out of here!"

* * *

><p>A few weeks later<p>

"Someone… please… help… me…"

**Shana's Pov**

I need to get myself together, I need to get myself together, I need to get myself together. I mean Yuji didn't do that because he wanted to hurt me right? He always says how much he loves me, but he overreacts and he takes me to a lot of places… of course I am not allowed to leave his side. He asks if I need something… he never listens when I want him to release me. He does give me a lot of attention to make sure I don't feel lonely, he shows his care and affections and he accepts me for who I am… but he touches me without permission! He makes sure I am not hurt, but since he still doesn't listen to what I want I still got hurt with my 1000 escape attempts.

Yeah I tried to escape again. When Yuji was sleeping, I tried to jump, but for some reason he woke up and caught me. After that he scolded me again for being reckless and dragged me into the room again. Has he got some sixth sense? Even in his sleep I wasn't able to get free from his grip and I don't have anything to amuse myself when I am alone… I am running out of escape ideas.

"Baka, Baka Yuji! Doesn't he know how to tread a woman?"

* * *

><p>A: Welcome to Japan Shana, where it's normal to be at that stage with your sweetie at your age. We also shouldn't forget the fact that you two are immortal, so who cares?<p>

* * *

><p>"Why do I keep hearing annoying bug noises? *sign* If only I had someone to talk to now."<p>

* * *

><p>A: Yeah, cuz now you sound like someone who's gone mad all talking to yourself. Just stay still with the thought that your lovely boyfriend will be back soon to give you more attention. I'm going to have some fun with my 3DS. Bye bye!<p>

* * *

><p>"WAIT! Don't go I need someone to talk to don't leave me… alone... -_- Why is it that when I have the opportunity to talk to someone I never grab that change? *Sign* Next time I'll just make a conversation with whoever is available… except for Sydonay and Rofocale."<p>

**Satou's POV**

"THAT FUCKING OLD HAG! She didn't inform anyone about all the incidents that are happening and she isn't even helping us getting out of this humiliating mess!"

I walked to the door and put my ears against it. "I wonder who that is and what are they talking about."

"Calm down Rebecca, I am sure Sophie Sawallisch has good reasons for that. You shouldn't forget the state Misaki city is now in, after that incident."

"Good reasons? My ass! That old hag only cares for her fucking self. If someone were to die she'd be dancing on his/ her grave! Also, our pride and reputation is more important and some fucking reports about Flame Haze getting killed!"

"Re… Rebecca-chan is right. First we must solve the pee boy's heheheh… problems hahahahha!"

"I guess Brigid is right on this."

What are they talking about? Misaki city is in a total mess? What has happened while I was gone? Did everyone go into hiding because of me? "Oi, can someone tell me what's happening in Misaki city? Was my accident in the train really that humiliating for my friends? Where have they gone to? If Margery-san okay?"

"So Rebecca you have a plan?"

"Of course I have Balar and it starts with this!"

Before I could understand what was happening at the other side of the door I saw a purple blow appearing and suddenly the whole room blew up.

"AAAAAAHHHHH!"

"Are you okay piss bitch? I am sorry for this rude introduction… well actually I am not. I am the Kishaku no Makite_, _Rebecca Reed and this is the Bisai no Ressei, Balar." She showed me a strange looking bracelet that looked like it had a closed eye.

"Nice to meet you piss kid."

"Is there any possibility that you guys won't make fun of me? I've had it hard enough on my way here."

"No fucking way! This is too funny, the first time in my whole existence that a teenage boy pissed his fucking pants in the train. This could have been so funny, if we wouldn't be affected by this too. Jeez Wilhelmina what kind a shitty mess have you got yourself into this time?"

"Uhm sorry, but can I…?"

"Oww yeah you want an explanation, well lets go to a cleaner place first."

I was about to grab her hand when suddenly a rock fell on her head.

"OUCH! WHO'S THE BITCH THAT DROPPED A FUCKING ROCK ON ME?"

"That would be the roof."

"So to summarize it; after your depart a nationwide broadcast was aired about your pissing incident, later your fucking Mystes friend appeared and revealed himself as the Sairei no Hebi and Bal Masqué's leader, he kidnapped Nietono no, took the Haridan and flew off to fucking Seireiden. Oh and theChōshi no Yomite went into emo state, because the silver armor that she was hunting after for years turned out to be not real and now her dream to get endless money, getting drunk and horny won't come true."

"This is hard to believe all that happened. I hope Margery-san and Shana-chan are alright."

"I wouldn't worry about the Chōshi no Yomite, according to the report she's been sulking in your house for weeks. But I would worry about Nietono no, her lover seems to be really love-struck. It wouldn't surprise me if he fucked her already a few times and a lot of rumors about them have started to spread."

"Where do those rumors come from?"

"Twitter, Facebook, YouTube and community sites. Seriously those fucking annoying fans like to spread their perverted fantasies to the extreme and talk with other fans about it. I hate that."

"Well at least they don't call me names. Rebecca-san I need to go back to Misaky city."

"No fucking way! The way things are now you'd end up as the new mascot for toilet paper or diapers and I don't want to clean up your fucking mess every time! I need to contact Wilhelmina about this first."

"Uhm Rebecca-san, where do you know Caramel-san from?"

"We were the best prison buddies ever!" She exclaimed with a big smile.

… That does explain why Rebecca curses a lot and her rude behavior, but not Caramel-san's behavior.

I saw her taking a pair of handcuffs, "Rebecca-san what are you doing with…" *click*

"You stay there I don't want you to escape to your fucking town. I'll be right back."

Are all the Flame Haze in the world this selfish and messed up?

**Rebecca's POV**

"Fucking annoying brat, seriously I fucking hate children. They always have questions can't sit still and the troubles they cause, fuck! This one is very hard to clean."

"Don't complain too much Rebecca, if the pee problem is solved you can help out the Banjō no Shite and our reputation won't be in any danger too. Two birds in one kill."

"I guess your right Balar…"

I stopped walking and stared at the view from the window; "I hope Wilhelmina is doing fine."

* * *

><p>*Flashback time *<p>

"TAKE THAT YOU FUCKING BITCH!"

It was another day at the Flame Haze prison and Wilhelmina and I beat up another bunch of sluts. We were known as the unbeatable duo. No one can defeat us hahaha WE'RE THE BOSS!

"Another victory for the unbeatable BITCH DUO!"

"It's was a great victory. –De arimasu."

"1 hit K.O."

"You know it's getting pretty boring here and the food is fucking bad, it's almost as bad as your cooking Wilhelmina."

"… Thanks for the compliment… –De arimasu."

"Insult."

"You're welcome; now let's get out of here in prison break style! God I love that show it's fucking awesome!"

So a few minutes later we blew up the whole prison, killing everyone else in result.

"That wasn't in prison break stile. –De arimasu."

"Immediate kill."

"Hehe I know, but I love blowing up things and I want to use violence. Now if we stay longer that old hag of a bitch will notice what we did and I don't want to listen hours to her insults. So let's get out of this fucking place."

* * *

><p>Thinking about those times makes me so happy. "Hehe that was fucking awesome."<p>

**Wilhelmina's POV**

Again more letters. –De arimasu.

"More and more Flame Haze are getting attacked by Bal Masqué and we still have no news about taking action. –De arimasuka.

"Big disappointment."

These letters are from… the Shin'i no Yuite. –De arimasu.

Dear Banjō no Shite,

Bal Masqué is operating more and more out of the shadow and are starting to take more threatening actions, WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU BEEN UP TO SINCE THE LAST COUPLE OF LETTERS! ARE YOUR TROUBLES REALLY MORE IMPORTANT THAN MY PEACE AND FREE TIME? FORGET THAT SLUTTY USELESS GRANDDAUGHTER OF MINE. I AM SURE SHE"S FINE AND HAS ENOUGH FUN WHILE GETTING FUCKED BY HER SHITTY BOYFRIEND! YOU'RE SO USELESS, GO AND GET YOUR LAZY ASS FROM THAT SEAT AND DO SOMETHING USEFULL, BITCH!...

I threw the letter away. –De arimasu.

"Again she sends me shit. –De arimasuka"

"Repetitive trash."

**Sophie's POV**

"YOU BUNCH OF FUCKING IDIOTS! WHAT DID I TELL YOU? SERIOUSLY YOU EXPECT ME TO DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU? HOW USELES ARE YOU OR IS YOUR AGE GETTING TO YOU SAMUEL DEMANTIUS?"

Oh, look who we have here, the useless fans who, don't have anything better to do in their live but read some shitty story written by a fan that has nothing else to do.

* * *

><p>A: SHUT THE HELL UP YOU OLD HAG!<p>

* * *

><p>Well if you want to know what I am doing giving the useless Flame Haze and his lovely Guze no Ou a lecture. They are the Saikyō no Morite Samuel Demantius and the Gōrin no Taijun, Zirnitra, who takes the form of a gay ass Tábor.<p>

"SERIOUSLY YOU OLD NUT! YOU'RE EVEN LESS USEFULL THAN THAT 6 YEAR OLD THING! THE ONLY THING YOUR GOOD AT IS COMPLAINING ABOUT YOUR AGE! NOW DO AS I SAY OR I'LL CUT OFF YOUR BALLS AND TRANSFORM YOU INTO A TRANSVESTITE!"

"But… but Sophie Sawallisch-sama what about Bal Masqué?"

"I guess you're right sooner or later I have to go and destroy their happiness. Take that you fucking Sairei no Hebi! NOW OLD NUT, PREPARE THE TROUPS FOR A WAR AND IF THEY REFUSE THEN TELL THEM I'LL SELL THEM TO A PIMP!"

"Wait Bal Masqué's leader has returned? Why has no one been informed?"

"THAT'S NONE OF YOUR FUCKING BUSSINESS. NOW GO!"

"Yes madam."

I heard those two starting to cry the minute they left the room. HAHAHA serves them right!

**Rebecca's POV**

"As you can see its worse in Misaki city and Tokyo, but some other cities like; Fukushima, Yokohama and Osaka aren't that far behind either. "Flieder pointed out.

"S… so the radio activity in Fukishima is finally solved?" Brigid asked.

"Well the Shin'i no Yuite,Sophie Sawallisch made a big mess out of it." Balar said.

"How come people label Bal Masqué as dangerous, but let a fucking old Flame Haze like the Shin'i no Yuite walk free on the earth?"

"I guess that's because everyone is afraid of her, Rebecca."

"You remember the Twin tower incident, the WWI and WWII?"

"Yeah, she was really terrible; she was just staring at the misery and laughed like some sadist."

"I think she's worse than that… Hitler got the blame, and he only was a guy who went to live in japan to make his dream come true; to become a teacher in Japan and that became his family tradition. (1)"

"Now back to the pee problem, I'd say we'll use violence to solve it; if people keep laughing about it we'll blow their fucking heads up!"

"I think we should spam the internet."

"Rebecca, Balar; those ideas are… not really appropriate. Brigid do you have an idea?"

"Eh ma… maybe we should use an internet virus."

"That's what I call a good idea. Now that that's been taken care off, how should we handle Bal Masqué?"

"That… That's Sophie's problem to solve. She… She never does a damn thing always letting others do her work and insults people."

"That may be true, but we can't do a thing about it or we'll end up killing ourselves, like the last Flame Haze who dared to talk back to her."

"We'll need the Banjō no Shite for this, that's why Rebecca we need… wait what are you…? Please, no flash back. We had enough with one…

* * *

><p>*Yaay another flashback*<p>

"Take that. –De arimasu. Now gimme your snacks. –De arimasuka"

"Confisticated."

"Whaaaaha, my snacks! Mommy!"

"Seriously these people are fucking losers don't you agree Wilhelmina?"

"Indeed. –De arimasu."

"Complete agreement."

"So what did you get now? Oh Snickers, Mars, M&M's, gummies, gum ohh and is that a Burger king ticket?"

"If we get out of here we can use it. –De arimasu."

"Girls night out."

"That would be fucking great hahahahaha."

* * *

><p>"Okay enough shitty chat, it's time for action!"<p>

I blew up the fucking building again, gosh I love doing that. I went to get the piss guy and found him almost killed under the debris.

"I am still not sorry for doing that. Now let's go we have a train to catch. Ouch!" I hate those fucking rocks; "Who the fuck dropped those rocks this time?"

"That'd be the building again."

"Yaaaay I am so happy to be rid of that boring shit finally some fresh air and let's go piss kid and fix that problem or yours."

**Sophie's POV**

"THAT FUCKING USELESS PRISON BITCH! HOW DARE SHE LEAVE WITHOUT MY PERMISSION TO GO AND SAVE THAT SLUT OF A GRANDAUGHTER OF MINE! THE NERVE SHE HAS, SHE'S SO GOING TO PAY WHEN SHE GET'S BACK! AND WHY DIDN'T YOU DO ANYTHING TO STOP HER? YOU BUMB BLOND PIMP PLAYER! YOU COULD HAVE RAPED HER! OR GIVE HER ANYOTHER MENTAL TRAUMA! SERIOUS DO I REALLY HAVE TO DO EVERYTHING FOR YOU BUNCH OF MUTADED KILLING MACHINE ALIENS! GOSH YOU WOULD BE MORE USEFULL IF YOU ALL JUST GO TO HELL! EVEN YOUR GUZE NO OU DIDN'T TRY TO DO ANYTHING! OWW, WELL ONCE A USELESS TIMID HOOKER ALWAYS A USELESS TIMID HOOKER!

"But, but we tried to stop…"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU BITCH! ARE YOU THE BOSS HERE NOOO! NOW LEAVE AND FIND SOME SILENT PLACE TO FUCK YOURSELF OR EACHOTHER! EVEN CRYING IN A CORNER IS FINE!"

"Ta… Takemikazuchi-san do… don't you ha… have anything to sa… say?"

"I am sorry Brigid, but with these kinds of conversations I prefer to stay out of it, just to evade more trouble."

* * *

><p>A: *Coughscaredycatcough*<p>

* * *

><p>"SHUT UP U USELESS BITCH!" Hmm I guess I have to take things in my own matter. I have to join the war to make sure every fucking Tomogara gets killed and for Bal Masqué to be annihilated forever. "HAAHAHAHAHAHAHA!"<p>

**Satou's POV**

Well now thanks to Rebecca-san my pee humiliation will be over, finally!

"Thanks a lot for helping me Rebecca-san."

"No need to thank me, I didn't do it for you, but for Wilhelmina. Oh and take these fucking letters that Wilhelmina send me. You'll get a better explanation about the shitty condition Misaki city is in. I have here the goods that the Chōshi no Yomite wanted you to bring."

"Huh?"

"I saw the fucking list she gave you, well you know how she is and it's not smart to come back empty handed don't ya think? Okay this is where we part ways; I can't wait to see in what shitty condition Nietono no is in. I wonder if she went insane, because of her love obsessed lover. Bye bye."

"Yeah goodbye." I faced the train station, so it's finally time to go home."

**Sophie's POV**

"I HATE EVERYTHING IN THIS FUCKING WORLD! WHY ISN'T EVERYTHING GOING ACCORDING TO MY PLAN? THE LAST WAR AT LEAST WENT MY WAY MOST OF THE TIME! I GUESS I HAVE NO CHOICE AND SEND THAT THING!"

"You mean the Gisō no Karite? I didn't know you'd become kind and sent help to them."

"ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME, TAKEMIKAZUCHI? I AM SICK OF BABYSITTING THAT THING! IF I SHOVE MY PROBLEMS TO THAT SLUTTY MAID, I'D FINALLY HAVE MY PEACE!"

Futsu no Raiken, Takemikazichi is the Guze no Ou I made a contract with, much more useful that that other bunch of bastards. I am wearing him on my head as a hat that useless nuns wear.

"Of course you would."

"HAHAHAHAHAHA, TAKE THAT YOU SLUTTY BITCHES!"

**Wilhelmina's POV**

"Another POV. –De arimasu."

"Happy moment."

I heard my phone ringing, I wonder who it is. –De arimasu.

" –De arimasuka?"

"Yooo Wilhelmina, long time not spoken. How have you been? "

"Fine, -De arumasu. What's the reason for calling me? –De arimasuka."

"It's time to rock like in the old times! Bitching around and save Nietono no, even though I am sure she has it better there, than we have here with the old bitch."

"I assume so. –De arimasu. I'll meet you at the usual spot. –De arimasuka."

"Another letter from the Shin'i no Yuite. –De arimasu…"

"What does she want now? –De arimasen."

"Annoying bug."

Dear slutty maid,

I want to inform you that I've send that thing to your rescue party, be sure to take good care of it… actually I wouldn't mind if it died. As long as I'm rid of it. GOOD LUCK SUCKERSSSSSSSSSS!

… I really hate her. –De arimasu."

"Despicable person."

**Shana's POV**

Nothing is better than taking a bath to relax my body and mind. I just wish I could relax… everything is still replaying in my mind… babies… are made… after doing that… AAGGGHHH If I knew that I'd never ask someone about it!

"Okay Shana, try to clear your mind maybe the author was just teasing me, since that's the only thing she's been doing apart from writing this. Plus I guess it's better than having to read letter from my mean grandma. I even evaded the humiliation; I'd get after Satou's peeing incident. Yuji saved me from those terrible things… even though he isn't aware of that. He wasn't the only one he showed me that…

* * *

><p>*Wow 3 flashbacks in one chapter a new record guys! Time to celebrate :D*<p>

"Oi have you been listening to me?"

I turned my head to Shiro; "yes I did, melon pan is your friend and your food, video games are good for your soul, according to Alastor and the most beautiful woman is White from Pokémon Special manga. White is the prettiest thing there exist, when you go to a funeral you have to wear white, when you buy flowers they have to be white or they'll suck your soul. White is the thing you have to love. (2)"

"Excellent, do you have any questions?"

"Yes, why are you wearing a tiara? Aren't you supposed to be a guy?"

"That has nothing to do with white, so there's no need in answering that."

* * *

><p>I got out of the bathtub and looked at the mirror, I still don't know why he wears a tiara… maybe I should ask Yuji why some guys wear a tiara.<p>

* * *

><p>A: If you keep standing there you'd make a good view for Yuji hohoho.<p>

* * *

><p>"URUSAI, URUSAI, URUSAI!"<p>

I suddenly heard an explosion outside the bathroom. I wonder what happened. I got a bathrobe and went into the bedroom. To my surprise I saw Itadaki no Kura; Hecate and the room in a total mess.

She looked and me and glared; "YOU ATE MY FAVOURITE DESERT!"

-_- "Heh?"

* * *

><p>(1) In season 1 of the anime, one of Yuji and Shana's teachers looked like Hitler.<p>

(2) Shiro means white in Japanese so I guess you understand the joke now.

Sairei no Hebi: Where does she get all this inspiration from?

Margery: I have no idea even I wouldn't be able to drink so much beer in such a short time

Wilhelmina: We hope you liked this chapter. –De arimasu.

Me: Reshiram use Blue Flare! *Closet breaks open*

Sairei no Hebi: What?

Me: HAHAHA don't underestimate my level 100 Reshiram it can crush anything that gets in its way now prepare for the divine punishment!

Shana: But we're Flame Haze and Tomogara. There even gods among us.

Me: Really? But Reshiram is a deity.

Yuji: But we're with more.

Me: In that case Arceus Judgement! Reshiram Blue Flare again! Take the punishment of the creator of the Pokémon and another deity. No one messes with the author of this story!

Pirsoyn: RUN FOR YOUR LIFE!

Me: Till next time my lovely readers and reviewers. If you don't review I'll send my Pokémon after you and every other weapon I have!


	8. A reencounter, babysit and a wedding

Hello everyone and welcome to chapter 7 of A SnS III Final Parody. I want to thank all the readers and reviewers and I wanna give Yuji a punch or hit him with something hard.

Yuji: O.O Why?"

Me: You made Shana cry in episode 19 and your excuses were lame birdbrain! You don't need to have talent to treat the woman you love with care!

Yuji: But I…

Me: Shut up! Useless guy! Geez seriously and Sydonay you're just as useless and stupid as him.

Sydonay: But I'll do anything to make my cute Itadaki no Kura Hecate happy.

Hecate: Then how about you'll die for me? I really want some peace.

Sydonay: …! You… you… wa… want me…d?

Me: Oh for the love of fuck just shut up! We need to start this story Hecate do the disclaimer.

Hecate: xxxDreamingflowerxxx doesn't own Shakugan no Shana or else I'd have a lot more peace.

* * *

><p>Chapter 7: A re-encounter, babysit and a wedding<p>

**Shana's POV**

"I ate your what?"

-_- "Haven't you heard me? I said, YOU ATE MY DESSERT!"

"How can I eat your desert if Yuji locks me up in his room all the time? And the time I am able to spend outside is when Yuji is with me."

"I won't fall for those lies! You'll have to pay for eating my desert!"

Oh crap. I have no idea who blamed me for eating her desert, but she looks very scary when she's mad.

I dodged some of her attacks, but she suddenly charged at me with a DEATHSCYTHE? How am I going to survive this?

**Yuji's POV**

Wow it's been a while since I had a POV. The readers must have missed me a lot.

* * *

><p>A: Just get on with the story birdbrain!<p>

* * *

><p>Mean author, anyway I am busy with finishing step two of the grand order.<p>

"I am surprised you're actually getting serious with this, Sakai Yuji."

"Hi alter ego it's been a while since we talked and I am doing this all for my Shana, the sooner I am done with this the earlier I can get back to my love life with my loved one."

"What is it what you're planning?"

"Ohh I forgot that Alastor is here too, well I am making a gate to recover my snake body from the distortion dimension, where it's been locked away for ages."

"Do you need a joystick so you can handle it easier? I am sure it isn't easy controlling two bodies."

"How is it possible for some idiot like you to be of the same class like me?"

"There's nothing wrong with liking video games."

I'll just ignore those two and continue with what I am supposed to do.

**Shana's POV**

"For the last time I haven't touched your stupid desert!" I yelled.

O.o "…HOW… DARE… YOU… TO… INSULT… MY DESERT! YOU FUCKING BITCH! THIS WILL BE YOUR DEATH!"

I guess this is why no one wants to anger the Itadaki no Kura. Shit I am really in trouble I need to get out of here.

"I guess it's time for plan 0001." (1)

I ran as fast as I could to the balcony and jumped.

**Yuji's POV**

I've been standing here making a portal for… a few hours I think.

"Man, I am bored."

"… Don't tell me you forgot what you were doing and even the reason behind it?"

"You know that could be an awesome video game."

"Tenjou no Gouka, would you please stop talking about games?"

"Shana and Mathilde had no problems with my game fetish."

"Isn't Shana like you when it comes to games?" That's one of her other cute aspects.

*sweat drops* "Uhm… well… that's, because I was the one who raised her, together with Wilhelmina and Shiro."

I was finally finished with opening the gate. Well at least that part of the plan is done.

"This time I'll make sure the Flame Haze won't stop our plans."

Just when I was planning to go back I felt my Shana sense was starting to ring. "Oh crap Shana is in trouble again!" I looked around to see if I could spot her. I noticed some blue fire and SHANA IS FALLING FROM THE BALCONY? I rushed quickly to Shana and caught her, I looked at the bedroom, where she fell from and noticed Hecate glaring at Shana."

"Priestess, what is the meaning of this? Why have you attacked Shana?"

"SHE ATE MY DESERT AND I WANT IT BACK!"

"Ohh about your desert… you see I was the one who ate it. I had no idea it was yours and I was so hungry… anyway sorry for not informing you about it."

-_- "…. *pouts* stupid commander."

I looked at Shana… She's wearing nothing but a bathing robe, and I have a good view from here to see underneath her.

"Commander, what the hell are you doing? Getting a nosebleed while, drooling all over the princess."

I turned and spot Bel Peol leaning against a wall. I guess she heard every last bit.

"HECATEEEEEE-CHAAAAANNNN. Ouch!"

"Sydonay, how many times do I have to tell you that she prefers to eat a bunch of death mice than to be with you?"

"I am aroused by this great destiny I am part of. (2) Nothing can destroy my happiness now."

"Commander, what do you mean with that; our plans or the princess? I am sure a lot of people will misunderstand this."

"What do you think? Shana of course, she's wearing nothing else but a bathrobe and she's unconscious."

"No I'm not and I heard everything you said earlier."

I looked at Shana, who was glaring at me. "Well this is great now we'll have less trouble to prepare for our wedding."

"Our wedding?"

"Sakai Yuji, you're joking right?"

"Of course not Alastor, I already declared that I want to be with Shana forever and a wedding is the best way to show it. I prepared everything from the moment I became Bal Masqué's leader again. I still don't know who should sing for the wedding though. I was thinking about Kawada Mami, KOTOKO or ALTIMA."(3)

"I refuse to take part in this. Yuji let me down now!"

"You do know that we receive wedding presents. I made sure you'll get your manga, games, anime and the most delicious melon pan that exists."

"I love you Yuji, when is the wedding?"

Bel Peol shaked her head; "I can't believe the princess is bribed so easily."

**Kazumi's POV**

"These past weeks have been crazy, haven't they Kazumi-chan?"

I looked at Ogata-san; "I guess you're right."

"You guess? Sakai-kun disappeared for weeks; the homework he's got has piled up so much. Then suddenly Shana-chan disappears and now the teacher got a letter from Sakai-kun stating; that he became a god, took over some kind of organization called Bal Masqué and that he even kidnapped Shana-chan. Talk about being loved obsessed. I wonder if she's even alright. Boys these days only think about sex or food and I am sure that food isn't the thing that's on Sakai-kun's mind twenty-four hours a day."

Ogata-san is right. I have no idea what Sakai-kun is thinking, it's a shame that he didn't came to visit his family, I am sure his mother must be worried.

"I see you tomorrow Kazumi-chan, I have volleyball practice again. Bye!"

I waved at Ogata-chan. I really hope they'll return soon.

"MOOOMMYYYYYY I MISSED UUUU!"

I turned to the source of the voice was… it was Khamsin-chan. The _Gisō no Karite,_ Khamsin Nbh'w is one of the oldest Flame Haze in existence, despite his age he has the looks and the brain capacity of a six year old. For some reason he thinks I am his mother, what a stupid kid. The Fubatsu no Senrei, Behemoth is the Guze no Ou, Khamsin-chan made a contract with… well actually he think Behemoth-san is his dad and so it was Behemoth who made Khamsin into a Flame Haze. He communicates threw some Indian bracelet.

"I am sorry that he's causing so much trouble Yoshida Kazumi. I can hardly keep him under control."

"It's okay Behemoth-san and it's great to see you guys again."

**Lamis POV **

"A promise is a promise, so pick out whichever art piece you want."

I stared at million different types of art pieces Bel Peol showed me. Am I death? It looks like heaven; screw Xanadu when you can be stuck in a room with these beauties. "This one looks nice, that one too, I saw that one in my dreams, that one on television, that one looks like the one I broke when I stole it from the museum and that one looks like the one I was planning to steal from that pathetic poor painter who wanted to give it to his mom as birthday present."

"Uhm do you do that a lot?"

"Duh of course, those art pieces are too good for those bunch of losers. What would you do when it's food?"

"Eat everything I can eat of course. Last weeks I went to this super yummy restaurant where I could eat all I wanted to eat. Best day of my life."

"That's what I feel now about this day."

"LEEEAAAAANAAAAAANN-SHIIIIIIDHE, WOOOOUUULD YOOOOUUUUU LIIIIIKEEEE TOOOO BEEEE PAAAAAAAART OF MYYYY INSAAAAANEEE RESEAAAARCH, THAAAT WOOOON'T HUUURT A FLYYYYYYY?"

"No thank you Dantalion."

"I really wonder what's so special about these. I mean it's just art."

"What did you say? Just art? Just art? JUST AAAART? ARE YOU FUCKING STUPID? IT'S NOT JUST ART YOU DUMP BITCH IT'S THE SOUL OF THE PEOPLE WHO PUT THEIR HEARTS IN IT AND DIED MISERABLY. THEIR HATRED FOR THE WORLD HAS BEEN IMPRINETED IN THESE ARTS FOR ETERNITY AND I CAN FEED MYSELF WITH IT! HAHAHAHAHAH!" I coughed and took a deep breath; "I wonder what the commander is planning with that wedding."

"You mean aside from the princess? I have no idea; I never understood our commander and I never tried to understand him."

**Sydonay's POV**

I haven't been at the private bar since I got dumped by Hecate in the valentine's chapter. *sniff sniff*

Anyway, today I am here for the bachelor party of our commander. Most of the Bal Masqué members are here, but there's one person missing…

"Where has our commander gone to? It's his party so how come the guest of honor isn't present?"

~The party is getting hot

Come on everyone let's get rid of this annoying cloth

Children let's make it warm

Let's lick the love liquid from your arm

Oh guest of honor please appear

Then we can share these feelings bright and clear

When your body's feeling wet

Let's not wait and go straight for the bed~

"SHUT UP ROFOCALE!" Everyone yelled.

"~Sad face.~"

"#^$%&*!. IT'S HERE! IT'S HERE! SOMEONE GET ME AWAY FROM THIS PLACE! MY SOUL! MY SOUL WILL BE SUCKED OUT AGAIN! SOMEONEEEEEEEEEEEE KIIIIIIIIIL MEEEEEE!"

I signed I wonder if Pirsoyn will ever be sane again. Not that she was completely sane before. I stared and Ribersal, Stolas and Purson, while they were trying to calm down Pirsoyn.

"Ahh, I wonder how my wedding with Hecate-chan will be."

"General, get over it already. No matter what you say, unlike the commander and the princess you and the priestess will never be together. How many times has the strategist told you that already?"

"URUSAI, URUSAI, URUSAI BAKA STOLAS! UNLIKE YOU I DO KNOW WHAT LOVE IS! I AM SICK OF PEOPLE, WHO HAVE ZERO EXPERIENCE IN LOVE AND ARE ACTING LIKE THEY KNOW BETTER THAN ME! HECATE AND I ARE MADE FOR EACHOTHER! WE'RE MADE FOR EACHOTHER!"

~When you love each other very much

You want to do a lot of things such… As

Trying out this new taste

You have to do it or it'll be a waste

Look how small your body is

That certain special part that I will kiss

Please lick my whole body clean

So that I can wake up satisfied from this dream~

"SHUT THE FUCK UP ROFOCALE!"

"~Sad face.~"

"$^#&^$(%#! GET ME OUT OF HERE PLEASE RELEASE ME FROM THIS SUFFERING! I DON"T WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE! I DON"T WANT TO LOSE MORE OF MY INNOCENCE! I BEG YOU KILL ME NOW!"

*sign* This can't get worse right? "Seriously what's a bachelor party without the groom?"

**Kazumi's POV**

"And then the old nut asked me where mommy and daddy were. I said Daddy was right here and mommy was at home studying to get to a super school. The mean old nut didn't believe me."

"I see…" Seriously what's wrong with this kid? He's older than my grandma and she's smarter than him, plus she doesn't behave like a six year old retard.

"My apologies Yoshida Kazumi. We were on our way to meet up with the Banjō no Shite, but he ran off again. If only I could find a way how to keep him in check."

"I love u mommy and daddy, and toys, candy and the pink haired nee-chan with the cool mask and the purple dress and the violent nee-chan who acts like a nii-chan and…"

* * *

><p>A few hours later<p>

"But I love pink ponies the most."

What the hell? Is this kid gay or something?

"That was a very nice story Khamsin Nbh'w, but we can't let the Banjō no Shite wait any longer let's go."

"Okay daddy and bye bye mommy I love you and I wanna see you soon."

Man, what a stupid gay ass kid, but for some reason he's still cute.

**Yuji's POV**

"This is the best day of my life I am so happy that we'll finally be able to live as husband and wife. Shana you really look beautiful, no you're more than that not even the universe can match your beauty."

"Yuji this isn't necessary, were not human remember."

"A wedding has nothing to do with being human or not, it's a ceremony for love. If there's love then a wedding is possible."

"Well I like the presents they gave us."

"I can't wait for our days of marriage. We'll be able to live in peace, have 2 children; a girl and a boy. Our daughter will be named Yuna and our son Yuuji."

"... WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? HOW SELFISH CAN YOU BE?"

"I couldn't come up with a boy's name that has both of our names."

"That's not what I meant, a Flame Haze and Guze no Ou can't have children."

"*Coughcough* Shana is right. Can you mention at least one Flame Haze, Guze no Ou or Tomogara that was able to bear a child?"

"There's always a first time Alastor. Now let's go we can't have everyone waiting for us."

I took Shana to the place where our wedding will be held. "Now let's walk down on the path of…"

~The bride and groom have finally arrived

All these longings have survived

With some cream, and gel

Yup that will mix very well

Let's go out all night

Ohh little children come and see

The greatest thing giving love can be

Let your bodies be one with me

Let's show the world we're a happy family. Ouch!~

I threw the first thing I saw, which was Domino who fell into his mouth. I grabbed his instrument and thorn it into pieces. "What did I say about singing in front of my soon to be wife?"

"~Sad face.~"

I looked at Shana and her face was very pale. I am so going to kill him.

"#%**%! KILLL ME KILL ME SOMEONE PLEASE! HE'S BACK HE'S AFTER MY SOUL! HE'S GOING TO RAPE ME AGAIN! THE WORLD IS DIEING SOMEONE KILL MEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Great now Pirsoyn is going mad again. Everyone else was just staring with shocked expressions, Ribersal and his friends tried to calm Pirsoyn again, I saw Bel Peol grabbing a glass of champagne and drink the glass in one gulp, Hecate like always was expressionless and Sydonay was shaking his head.

"Commander, I am really honored that I get to play the part of the priest, but is this even a role that suits me?"

"SHUP UP SYDONAY! I DIDN'T GO THIS FAR FOR OUR COMMANDER TO WATCH PEOPLE COMPLAINING LOSING THEIR MINDS AND TRAUMATIZING OTHERS! NOW START THIS WEDDING BEFORE I HAVE FINISHED EVERY GLASS OFF CHAMPAGNE!"

"Yes Bel Peol."

* * *

><p>"… I think I lost my thinking capacity. I know that Bal Masqué is filled with idiots, but this is too traumatizing."<p>

"Everyone has their abnormalities Shana, but some may be too abnormal."

"Sakai Yuji, are you really fine with this? Your mother and the Banjō no Shite won't be happy with this."

"Don't worry Alastor I made sure the watchable parts have been recorded, so they can still see it."

"I don't think that will be the reason of the Banjō no Shite's anger."

"Now it's time to continue with phase 2 of the plan, let's go honey."

"How many times do I have to tell you to not give me those stupid nicknames?"

We walked to the balcony were we could see every member of Bal Masqué waiting for us,

"Uhm why is it that there are so many Tomogara?... Yuji you can go ahead I'll wait inside… were there aren't people looking at me."

…Since when has she gotten stage fright? "Just imagine they are millions of melon pan waiting for you to be eaten after my speech."

"Do they taste good?"

"Of course they taste good, dear. They taste better than any other melon pan in the universe."

I saw Shana starting to drool. Maybe this wasn't such a good idea of mine.

"For some reason this scene looks familiar to me." Alastor said; "Sakai Yuji I would advise you to blindfold her or else those Tomogara will end up as her dinner."

"What?"

"Just do as I say."

I looked for a blindfold and put it on Shana.

"What are you doing?"

"Making sure nothing goes wrong."

I walked to Bel Peol and pushed Shana gently to her.

"Bel Peol could you please make sure Shana will be fine and that she won't do anything stupid?"

"Sure, but why?"

"I am starting to smell melon pan everywhere and it smells so yummy! Can I eat it now?"

"Just distract her for a while until I am done with my speech." I turned to the crowd of Tomogara; "I'd like to thank you for being with me on glorious day! I'd want to introduce Shana now officially as my wife!"

I took Shana's hand and brought her closer towards the crowd.

"Can I eat the melon pan now?"

"Not yet, I'll make sure the maids will bring you as many as you want and also some games, anime and manga."

"Yaaaaayy!"

"Now I can finally start my journey to retrieve my other form and then our plan can finally evolve to the next stage!."

All Tomogara started to cheer, except for the one that was damaged or the ones busy trying to tend the damaged one.

I turned myself to Shana again; "After all this is over we can finally have our honeymoon."

"Didn't that already happened in chapter 5?"

"No, we weren't married at that time. So it's no honeymoon."

I gave Shana a deep goodbye kiss and departed to the god gate, accompanied by the Trinity, that horrible sick singer Rofocale, Dantalion, Domino and the mercenary Sabrac. He kinda looks like a murderer to me; having his whole body covered in clothes and the only thing that you can see is his hair and eyes.

"Wait Yuji when will I get my presents?"

* * *

><p>And that was chapter 7 guys I hope you laughed your hearts out. Time for some explanation<p>

(1) Shana came up with 1000 escape methods sadly they all failed. Now she tries a reverse method, remember that escape number 1000 was jumping out of the balcony? Well this time she gets thrown out of the balcony, which makes it plan 0001. I know it's insane, but it's safer than getting slashed by a death scythe.

(2) In the eclipse static sub version he really said that, so I thought I'd be funny if I kept that dialogue like that XD.

(3) Kawada Mami and Kotoko are the artists who sang the opening and ending songs (The ending songs of season 2) of the Shakugan no Shana anime. ALTIMA was the artist who sang the ending songs for season 3.

Shana: Why did you made us get married? and I sound like a complete retard int the last part.

Yuji: and why do I have to come out like some kind of pervert

Me: It sounded funny plus I always wanted to know how a wedding between you two will look like. Since this is a parody it's normal to act like some crazy idiot and in the anime a lot of things didn't looked what it should be, so to most of the fans you're some kind of pervert birdbrain.

Yuji: But you skipped the wedding part.

Me: Oww yeah, well I was afraid the chapter will get a bit too complicated, but if the readers want to know how the wedding went, leave a review as request. If I have enough requests then I'll make a chapter that describes the wedding.

Alastor: You are enjoying this aren't you?

Me: Yup, birdbrain didn't give Shana enough love in the anime, so I'll make sure he does in my story.

Yuji: Stop calling me birdbrain!

Me: Only after I have forgiven you for what you did to Shana, but I am still angry about it so no.

Bel Peol: You really love teasing don't you?

Me: That's my way of expressing my love. Now that was it for today readers. See you next chapter and don't forget to leave a review or a request for the wedding chapter.


	9. Let the games begin!

xxxDreamingflowerxxx again and with a new chapter. Thank you readers and reviewers for still supporting me… why do I keep saying this since it's obviously that I am gratefull…

Shana: To be polite.

Me: But won't that tire the readers?

Shana: It's not that this fanfic is filled with your thanks.

Me: That's true.

Yuji: You seem to have cooled down a lot compared to the last time.

Me: That's because of the episode that was aired Friday, birdbrain. The show is getting so epic.

Yuji: could you please stop calling me that?

Me: Well let's continue with the story Margery?

Yuji: Stop ignoring me!

Sairei no Hebi: It's your fault for insulting the Enpatsu Shakugan no Uchite.

Yuji: We share the same body remember.

Sairei no Hebi: Touché.

Me: START THIS DAMNED STORY ALREADY!

Margery: xxxDreamingflowerxxx doesn't own Shakugan no Shana or else I'd be able to drink more than I can imagine.

* * *

><p>Chapter 8: Let the games begin!<p>

**Shana's POV**

After Yuji left for the Distortion world, I kinda forgot what they called it actually, but it sounds like the Distortion world to me. I've been playing video games, reading my manga, watching anime and eating melon pan ever since. Gosh this is heaven!

"Shana-sama we have brought the requested games and manga. The anime DVDs will take a bit longer to arrive. We also brought more melon pan."

"This marriage thing isn't that bad, if only this was the honeymoon instead of whatever Yuji has in his mind. It would be perfect."

I was about to continue my anime, until I heard the intercom.

"The attack on Outlaw will commence soon, will all the participants gather to your assignment group please."

… What the…? Is this some kinda of game show and since when has Seireiden an intercom?

* * *

><p>Meanwhile at Ribersal's group…<p>

"Gogog gogo you can do it Bal Masqué rangers!" (1)

"I really love this show you too right guys?"

"It's just as you said it Ribersal! Pirsoyn cheer up that sick singing pedo has gone with the commander your safe now so come and watch Bal Masqué rangers."

* * *

><p>A: *snicker* What kind of loser would watch a show like that? Hahahah.<p>

* * *

><p>"Shut up stupid author. –Nya. Just because you think it's stupid, doesn't mean that it's a show for losers. –Nya."<p>

* * *

><p>A: the characters are based on you guys, it's really selfish and pathetic to watch a show that 3 year old's enjoy and that anime is all gag (2). There's no action in it and the jokes are lame.<p>

* * *

><p>"No one asked for your opinion! –Nya. Go back to your 4rth wall! –Nya."<p>

"There you are guys Decarabia was calling everyone it's time to leave… what the hell are you watching?"

"It's not what it looks like Haborym, Let us explain it!" said Ribersal.

**Normal POV**

At Misaki airport were a group of friends are saying their goodbyes.

"Well I guess this is the place we'll part. –De arimasu."

"I am glad that Satou's pee incident is finally over I was so sick of staying in my house forever, I was afraid my reason to live was gone and I was about to kill myself."

"You're not the only one who's glad Tanaka." Yoshida said.

"I like; puppies, candies, soft pillows and that funny color thingy that appears when it rains and when I grow up I wanna be a cute pink pony."

"Khamsin Nbh'w shut up!"

"Yes daddy. Where's the big pillow onee-chan?"

"Ane-san became mentally ill and now Satou is going to heal her."

"What about the flat nee-chan with the melon pan fetish and the nii-chan who wants to touch her all the time?"

"Uhm you'll going to visit them with Caramel-san and a friend of hers."

"That's enough talking. –De arimasu. We can't let Rebecca wait any longer, she's very impatient. –De arimasuka."

"Time to leave."

**Shana's POV**

It's been a few days since Yuji left and I am doing the same things I did before, well I have manga, anime, games and as most important melon pan now. So I am not that bored anymore. Really these games are awesome and they're enough to make me quiet for a whole year, if only Wilhelmina was here. She'd always play with me.

"So most of the Tomogara left to fight against the Flame Haze… but would that make Seireiden vulnerable for attacks of my grandma… NOOOO WHAT AM I GOING TO DO? I am sure that she knows about my kidnapping and she'll try to take away the little happiness that I have here. NOOOO MY MANGA, MY VIDEO GAME, MY ANIME AND MY MELON PAN! I can't let her do that I need to escape from here before she finds me! … Why do I get a feeling of nostalgia for some reason? Maybe I had a dream similar to this."

I hope Wilhelmina will come sooner than gramps... "Ohh video games!"

**Wilhelmina's POV**

"I am boooored! Can I have some candy? Please please please please?"

The child went on like that for hours. –De arimasu.

"Oi Wilhelmina! Oh and the old messed up kid. Are you guys ready to go?"

I saw Rebecca coming toward us and she looked like she was in high spirits. –De arimasu. It must have been a long time since she was able to fight. –De arimasen.

"Yaaay I wanna play! What shall we play onee-chan?"

"How about hide and seek, you'll start counting till 9999999999999 veeeeery slow okay?"

"Okay wild onee-chan! One…. Two… three…"

"Okay he'll be busy for a while Wilhelmina now go and get that fucking castle fort thing going."

I jumped into the ocean and started looking for Tendōkyū, the place where we raised Shana. –De arimasu.

* * *

><p>*Flash back time*<p>

"Here's your dinner. –De arimasu."

I gave the 7 year old her plate with food that I cooked for her. –De arimasu. This is my first attempt in cooking, although it was always known that Flame Haze were never skilled in cooking. Mathilde always left dead corpses when she cooked; the smell was so horrible, that even The Tenjou no Gouka was able to detect the smell. I wanted to break that fact of being a terrible cook. –De arimasuka.

"Uhm Wilhelmina what is this?"

"Its food according to the cooking book this dish is called ramen. –De arimasu"

She took a bite from her food. She looked fine to me the first few minutes, so I went to the kitchen that, looked like something exploded there to clean it. When I came back I found her lying on the ground unconscious.

"Oh shit! What have I done? –De arimasu."

"Food poisoning."

A few seconds later Shiro came in running screaming that my cooking was as terrible as the color black… we had to give her a medicine and she had to stay in bed for a week.

"This is for you. –De arimasu."

"Did you cook this?"

I shake my head; "Its melon pan that I bought at the store. –De arimasu."

"Yay thank you very much Wilhelmina! Itadakimasu!"

"I have also some new clothes for you to try on. –De arimasu."

"Uhm kay?"

After she was done with her breakfast I took her to her bedroom so she could try out her new clothes.

"You look really adorable. –De arimasu."

"Moe."

I dressed her in the cutest maid outfit I could find, she really looked like a little doll.

"I also have gothic Lolita maid outfit. –De arimasu"

"More cosplay."

**Normal POV**

At Rebecca and Khamsin…

"SHE'S FUCKING LATE! WHY IS SHE TAKING SO FUCKING LONG?"

"400… 401… 402… 403…40… This is boring onee-chan can't we do something else? Please please please please please please please."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU ANOYING FUCKING BRAT!"

".. uhh, uhh YOU'RE MEAN WHAAAA WHAAAA! I WANNA PLAY I WANNA PLAY I DON'T WANNA BE QUIET! WAAAAHAAAAAAAAAA! MEANIE MEANIE MEANIE MEANIE WAAHAAAAA!"

"This is why I hate brats!"

Suddenly everything started to tremble and out of the ocean a giant floating castle appeared with Wilhelmina standing at the highest part.

"Ohhhh pretty castle. Is there a princess sleeping?"

"WHAT THE FUCK IS LAPUTA DOING HERE (3)? No wait that's the Tendōkyū! AWESOME SHE DID IT! Ouch! WHO THE FUCK DROPPED THIS ROCK ON ME!"

"That would be the Tendōkyū Rebecca." Balar replied.

Wilhelmina turned her head to them and smirked; "I look awesome like this. –De arimasu."

"Badass pose."

**Sophie's POV**

"FUCKING USELESS FLAME HAZE! YOU CALL THAT PUNISHING BALL MASQUÉ? EVEN A BABY CAN DO BETTER THAN YOU! SERIOUSLY WHY ARE YOU ALL SO FUCKING WORTHLESS? WHAT'S THE USE OF HAVING AN ARMY OF FLAME HAZE IF THEY CAN'T DO A PROPER JOB! NOW GO BACK TO THE SLAUGHTER FIELDS AND GIVE THEM A REAL PUNISHMENT! MAKE ALL THOSE TOMOGARA SUFFER UNTIL THEY CRY FOR THEIR MOMMIES! IF YOU FAIL YOU'LL BE FORCED TO LISTEN TO THE SONGS OF THAT FUCKING JUSTIN BIEBBER FOR THE REST OF YOUR EXISTENCE!"

"Everything but that! Please Sophie Sawalisch-sama! We'll make sure that we won't disappoint you!" Said François Auric.

He's a sissy Flame Hazy who hides his eyes under his blonde bangs. Is he a fucking gay or something? He always complains and he gets scared very quickly. That's a good thing; he'll be easy to control then. He made a contract with Grogac , who resides is Gaara's sand piss pot. Those two are too useless for me to name their tittles.

"But Sophie Sawallisch-sama, Bal Masqué must be guarded very poorly, now that most of the Tomogara are fighting against us."

"HAHAAHAHAHAHAH! FINALLY SOME GOOD NEWS! I guess you're not that worthless Saikyō no Mamorite, Samuel Demantius. Let's head to the Seireiden! That will teach those bastards! I can't wait to see the faces of the stupid Trinity and their dumbass fucking leader! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, I'd love to see the Sairei no Hebi, Sakai Yuji to suffer more than the last time. I'll be watching with pleasure how he and my adopted granddaughter's stupid relationship will be ripped apart. HAHAHAHAHAHAA! Now it's time to prepare for our departure."

I opened the door and dragged and middle aged man, who looks like an Indian with bad tastes in clothes.

**Normal POV**

"Pirsoyn are you sure you're alright?"

"I am fine Ribersal, that hellish… demonic… singing… thing has gone with the commander so I can fight with you now."

"Okay, but be sure to stay close to me and if anything happens tell me."

"Got it."

"Everyone we have a new rule, since Pirsoyn isn't healed completely every word that has something to do with that Tomogara will be banded. If you don't comply with this rule you'll be punished. NOW IT'S TIME TO START THE WAR EVERYONE, ATTACK!"

* * *

><p>At Tokyo Outlaw<p>

"So if any of you ladies has nothing to do, I'd be glad to buy you a drink and dinner tonight." *winck*

"N… no wonder the Shin'i no Yuite calls you a player, Ernest Flieder. Yo… you should focus your attention on the war that has started and not on women."

"Screw them it's not that they need my help, they'll be fine without me and Brigid, shouldn't you support your contractor with his decisions in live?"

"Stu… stupid womanizer."

Outside Pirsoyn seem to have found the joy of killing Flame Haze in a cruel heartless way.

"HAHAHAHAHA! TAKE THAT YOU PEDO SINGER! I AM GOING TO GIVE YOU A WORSE HELL THAN THE ONE YOU GAVE ME ON VALENTINE'S DAY HAHAHAHA."

* * *

><p>A: Seems like the thing has lost it thanks to its hate for Rofocale and now its vision sees Rofocale everywhere instead of Flame Haze. Still funny though.<p>

* * *

><p>"SHUT UP YOU PIECE OF SHIT! THIS IS YOUR FAULT IN THE FIRST PLACE! AND NOW ARMY OF ROFOCALES, DIE A DISASTRIOUS DEATH HAHAHAHAHA!"<p>

* * *

><p>Back at Tokyo Outlaw<p>

"Gaiku no Kaete we need your help. It seems like our army is struggling to win, please aid them to victory."

"Uhm well I'd be happy to help b…"

"That's great Gaiku no Kaete-san, we're sure you'd be able to win. You always tell us of your great victories against the Tomogara."

"Of… of course Flieder will help you, wouldn't you? There's no way that you'd abandon a damsel's request. Right?"

"Uhm… sure… I must protect everyone, but I have an appointment with the doctor so…"

"Nonsense Gaiku no Kaete-san we're sure you can do it."

"But…"

And so the Gaiku no Kaete Ernest Flieder got dragged into the battle field by the same woman he was flirting with a few minutes ago.

* * *

><p>Back at the battlefield a young female Flame Haze has trouble with surviving the attacks from Ribersal…<p>

"Make your final wish before you die Flame Haze!"

"I… can't give up I… must… KYAAAAAAA!"

"Don't worry my pretty damsel I the Gaiku no Kaete Ernest Flieder will save you!"

He defeated the Tomogara in a few seconds.

"Are you alright my lady?"

"Yes, I am fine thank you very much."

"No need to thank me a woman as beautiful as you can show her gratitude with a romantic dinner. I know a very expensive restaurant that suits someone like you of course it's polite for a man to pay for dinner."

"STOP WITH YOUR FLIRTING YOU PERVERT WOMANIZER! YOU'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A WAR NOW STOP IGNORING ME AND FIGHT ME!"

"This isn't what I call etiquettes, seems like you haven't changed a bit since the last time we fought Ribersal. I am surprised Pirsoyn is able to take your rude behavior."

"You can brag all you want if you are able to defeat me."

Ribersal and Flieder started to fight and for some reason gay looking flowers started to appear and their fight looked more like a gay dance…

"You won't be able to evade my flashy move Ribersal. Take this!"

"Hah, that attack looks weak, here's one that I call an attack! Take that"

And so they continued their gay dance it started to look like they were embracing themselves, kissing and running like a stupid couple in slow motion, with flowers all over the place. I don't know if I should call that a fight or a ridiculous stupid scene, anyway they were going on like that for hours and a bored Pirsoyn was forced to watch that until it snapped.

"SHUT UP I AM NOT AN IT! AND YOU TWO STOP WITH YOUR GAY COUPLE DANCE! YOU'RE MAKING ME PUKE!"

Pirsoyn took out a dangerous looking weapon and beat the two up until they were unconscious and almost bleeding to death. It seems like the winner of the war is Pirsoyn.

**Sophie's POV**

"CENTERHILL, WHAT THE HELL IS ONE OF THE LAZY 4 GODS OF EARTH DOING HERE? JUST SHOWING UP WHEN YOU FEEL LIKE IT AND FOR THE REST OF YOUR EXSISTENCE PRETTENING YOUR DEAD? WHERE ARE YOUR OTHER FUCKING COMRADES?"

Gorō no Koite, Centerhill is known all over the world as one of the Daichi no Shishin. He's a Flame Haze who together with 3 others, who are feared by many Tomogara because of their power and bloodlust. He lives somewhere in America with his other hooligan comrades. His Guze no Ou is Tlaloc, he's like every other Guze no Ou useless and resides in a gay looking Indian pendant.

"I was send as a representative for the other three, I came here because I wanted to witness the intentions of Bal Masqué, since even we weren't aware of their actions and no one has informed us."

"Representative, witness? MY ASS! OR YOU'LL JOIN US IN THE WAR AGAINST BAL MASQUÉ OR I WANT YOU TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE! I HAVE NO NEED FOR DOUCEBAGS LIKE YOU! AND WHY IS EVERYONE ELSE JUST STARING? DIDN'T I SAY TO GET READY FOR THE WAR YOU FUCKING BASTARDS?

"Gorō no Koite, why did the other three of the Daichi no Shishin send you to such a dangerous mission?"

"Well Saikyō no Morite, I have no idea it feels like they have betrayed me sending me to a scary old hag to report the intentions of Bal Maqué. I can only conclude that they were too afraid to go themselves and tricked me into going… OUCH! My face it hurts so much my nose is broken I think!"

"WHO DO YOU CALL A SCARY OLD HAG? YOU USELESS PIECE OF SHIT! YOU'RE GOING TO JOIN THE WAR IF YOU LIKE IT IR NOT! THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR INSULTING YOUR BOSS, NOW STOP CRYING LIKE A LITTLE KID IT'S ONLY A LITTLE BIT OF BLOOD!"

We finally were walking our way to the airplane, until that idiot of a François Auric fell down and dropped those stupid documents.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING! STUPID USELESS SHIT, DO YOU HAVE THAT MUCH TROUBLE WALKING? WHY DON'T YOU CUT THOSE WEAK SISSY LEGS OFF AND REPLACE THEM FOR A PAIR OF ROBOT LEGS AND WHILE YOUR AT IT REPLACE THE REST OF YOUR WEAK GAY BODY TOO! MAYBE YOU'LL BE USEFULL AS A WEAPON INSTEAD OF THE WEAK GAY SISSY THAT GET'S RAPED EVERY FRIDAY EVENING!"

"That… night… no… more… WAHHAAAAAA! I AM USELESS THEY ONLY DO THAT TO BULLY ME, MY LIFE IS NOTHING WAAAAHAAAA!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA THAT'S WHAT ALL GAY SISSYS DESERVE! HAHAHAHA!"

**Yuji's POV**

You've got to be kidding me… this is…

"I can't believe my body is sealed away in a messed up world like this!"

"Mario world! Hey Sakai Yuji can we visit Delfino island please. When Shana played that game for the first time it felt like I was in heaven."

-_- "You still owe me a dessert commander. I demand you'll get me one from Delfino island."

"I always wanted to try blooper surfing. It looks dangerous, but as a mercenary it's no big deal plus I love how fast those squids are." Sabrac said cheerfully.

"I want to try every restaurant that they have there and eat all the exotic dishes they have, visit the beach and Pina Park, Bianco Hills, Pianta Village with their cool fluff festival and Noki bay."

"Maybe this could be from Super Mario Galaxy instead of Mario games in general, since were walking of ice, fire and grassy platforms like in the game. I really loved the one where you had to race with a penguin. Shana has real talent when it comes to gaming."

"Professor don't you think that something has gone wrong while the gate was being opened?"

"DOOOOOMIIIINOOOOOO, REEEMEEEEEMBERRR THAAAAT WE DIIIIIDN'T HAD ENOOOOUUUUUGH GIINEEEEAAA PIIIGS TO SEE IF OUUUUR EXPREEEIMEEENT WOOOUUUUULD SUCEEEEED? STIIIIL I AM SAAAATIIISSSSFIED WITH THIS EXCEEELEEEEENT RESULT. SINCE THE PAAAATH IS STAAAABLE FOR 33% WE SHHOOOOOUUULDN'T BE WORRIED ABOUT THAAAT. BLAAAAH BLAAAAH"

If only Shana was here then we could have a perfect honeymoon on Delfino Island. "Guys hurry your pace the sooner we're done with this the sooner I can get back to my lovely Shana."

~The Sairei no Hebi Sakai Yuji is very mean

Taking away one of the basics for my love cream

No taste in music or appreciating kids

While I know how to solve this

Oh baby Mario, come and see

The sweet side that love can be

Go to Luigi he knows what's best

So you can proceed to your love nest

It feels so hot, feels so wet

How much is your little one able to get

Now let's prickle you with more sweets

It's getting cold so let's turn on the heat

This feeling is arousing me so

I can't hold it in… must let it go~

"I DESTROYED YOUR STUPID INTRUMENT BEFORE THE WEDDING! HOW THE HELL IS IT POSSIBLE FOR YOU TO PLAY AGAIN?"

"~You're not the first god I've to deal with. I am prepared for occasions like this one, that's why I have many spare and you're also not the second god I've had to deal with.~"

"What do you mean with that? Have you met him before Alastor?"

"I have no idea what he's talking about. The first time I saw him was when you brought Shana and me to Sereiden."

"~What are you talking about Tenjou no Gouka? Didn't we meet the first time at your..."

"SHUT UP! YOU MUST HAVE BEEN DRUNK AND IMAGINED THINGS! I'VE NEVER SEEN YOU IN MY LIFE!"

Alastor seems to be acting weirder than normal… I guess something embarrassing must have happened in his past.

"Rofocale I'll remind you again if you ever come close to Shana or in the future when we have children and I hear you playing your songs I am going to give you hell for sure and kill you."

"~That sounds kinda familiar…~"

"Commander, why did you have to bring him in the first place? I don't like the idea that he'd sings songs to my cute Itadaki no Kura Hecate-chan."

-_- "For the last time I'm not yours and I never will, you old fart."

"… *sob*"

"The reason I decided to take that horrible singer is because I wanted to have him away from Shana."

"Then why didn't you take the princess with us instead of him."

"She'll complain about not being able to eat melon pan and play video games. I promised that she'd have them after the wedding and I don't want to break any promises I make with her."

"OHHHH IT SEEEEEMSSS THAAAAT THEEE STAAAAAABIIIIIIILIIIIITYYYYY OF OUURRR PAAAAAATHH IIISS DROOOOOPIIIING!"

"How much of the path is still stable then professor?"

"THHAAAAAAATT ISSSSSS… LESS THAN 1% SOOO RUUUUUN FOR YOUR LIVESSSSS!"

**Fecor's POV**

"… I HATE EVERYONE HERE! AGAIN WAS I FORCED TO CANCEL AN APPOINTMENT WITH THE HOPSITAL! DO YOU WANT ME DEAD THAT BADLY? WHAT HAVE I EVER DONE TO DESERVE THIS! WHEN CAN I FINALY FOCUS ON MY HEALTH INSTEAD OF THESE PLANS! YOU SHOULD THINK THAT NOW THE COMANDER WENT TO GET HIS BODY I'D FINALY BE ABLE TO GO TO THE HOSPITAL FOR ONCE, BUT NOOOO HE MAKES ME STAY HERE TO KEEP AN EYE OUT FOR HIS WIFE, IN CASE SOMETHING HAPPENS!"

"Tour guide Ranten Fecor I have a report about the attacks against Outlaw. It seems like everything is going accorded to plan, but I am worried about the Shin'i no Yuite, Sophie Sawallisch she hasn't appeared on any battle front. It could be that's she planning something behind in the shadows as counter attack. We must prevent the bloodshed of thousand years ago."

"I DON'T CARE ABOUT THAT DECARABIA! No one takes my bad health into account! I HAVE TO PAY FOR EVERY HOSPITAL BILL THAT I HAD TO CANCEL! HAVE YOU GOT ANY IDEA HOW MUCH MONEY THAT IS? A LOT AND NO ONE FROM BAL MASQUÉ SHOWS ANY CONCERN OR PITTIES ME, THEY DON'T EVEN OFFOR TO PAY THE BILLS! IT'S THEIR FAULT THAT I HAVE TO CANCEL EVERY APPOINTMENT, THANKS TO THEM I HAVE SUCH A LARGE DEPT!"

"You want some time to cool off you head?"

"…YES!"

"If you want you can join me in this big giant swimming pool where I am in. it's really relaxing and there's a mini bar."

"BE RIGHT BACK! I'M GETTING MY SWIMMING TRUCK!"

"Let's hope that that demon of a Flame Haze won't appear while we're swimming."

**Shana's POV**

"What shall I do now? I could try out the new VOCALOID game. I love Miku and Luka so much, but Kaito is also awesome and Meiko and the Kagamine twins and Gumi also Haku and Gumi, Lily GAAAAHAHHH I can't choose I love them all! I shouldn't discuss with myself who's the best VOCALOID, I should start playing!"

* * *

><p>2 hours later<p>

"Kay I am bored. I think I should try something else… I know I should try and make some melon pan! Since it's my favorite food there's no way that I can mess that up! Now I need to find the kitchen…"

* * *

><p>A: XDDD This is going to be so good ROFL!<p>

* * *

><p>I finally found the kitchen and I can't believe how big it is... I couldn't imagine all the dishes they can make. Wait, how come they only started serving me melon pan after the wedding if they could do it sooner? Don't tell me Yuji tricked me into marrying him… great how easy am I to manipulate? At least I got melon pan and games and there even some that aren't released yet.<p>

"Let's see, what can I use and what do I need to make melon pan? Wait I never cooked without guidance… actually only had two times cooking practice. What am I going to do now? No Shana you mustn't get discouraged! It's melon pan were talking about, so I should be able to make it! OKAY IT's COOKING TIME!"

* * *

><p>5 minutes later…<p>

*KABOOOOM!*

"IS SEIREIDEN UNDER ATACK?"

"WERE DID THAT NOISE CAME FROM?"

"I THINK IT CAME FROM THE KITCHEN AND I SEE SMOKE COMING FROM THE KITCHEN!"

"WE MUST MAKE SURE THE PRINCESS IS OKAY OR THE COMMANDER WILL KILL US!"

"*Couch couch* I guess that was a big failure *couch* Why is it smelling like something is on fire?"

I stared at the fire that came out of the oven and the melon pan looked like it was burned poisoned food. It doesn't even look eatable and the kitchen was a mess, okay a mess is an understatement; it looks like a killing ground and the scent of all the dead people has been lingering for years with their hate for the one that killed them…

"I think it's better for me to leave before someone sees me…"

* * *

><p>Okay cooking might not be such a good idea, since I completely suck at it. Who needs cooking if you can buy food at a convenience store? Being able to cook isn't that important for a girl right? I mean Yuji hardly shows any interest in food, so he shouldn't mind and he never asked me to cook something for him. As a Flame Haze, battle skills are more important that cooking skills. I can't stop wondering if there's ever a Flame Haze that's skilled in cooking or it this a curse we got for turning into killing machines? I wonder if my birth mom was a skilled cook, or is it a family gene? How could my dad survive with her? Did they love each other that much?<p>

I looked around the empty room… I never felt so lonely in my whole life. "

Yuji, Alastor please come back quickly I have no one else to talk to and I hate being alone, I guess this is better than having the company of a mean old grannie who can't even cheer up a person instead she makes them feel more miserable and lonely. While the victims cry she laughs like the devil and says how useless, ugly and slutty you are... I can't believe I am admitting this, but I miss Yuji's crazy love attention."

**Normal POV**

"And then I said go get your own pair of balls!"

"You have balls?"

"I MEAN TENNISBALLS YOU AIRHEAD!" *Slap* (4)

"That hurts you know."

"Who cares you're the one who said that stupid remark."

"Can we then please talk about something else? Like the weather?"

*slap* "IDIOT WE'RE PARTOLING THE LOWER PARTS OF SEIREIDEN!"

"Can we at least eat something? I am hungry."

*Slap* "Stop thinking about food at times like this you glutton! You should be serious in times like these!"

The two Tomogara continued walking in silence for a while...

"Hey what's that?"

"What's what?"

"I think we have guests."

"Tourist office is closed tourist aren't allowed in for a while remember."

"Then why is there a woman with her child?"

"?"

The Tomogara kept staring at the duo until the woman noticed them and started to smile; "Well good evening and good bye SUCKERS!"

*KABOOM*

"Wow that was awesome nee-chan can I play with them too?"

"I already killed them Khasim and we have no time for small games we need to play it big!"

"Yaaay I wanna play a big game can I join too please nee-chan?"

"Of course Khasim go nuts and catch those fucking bastards."

"Yippie, go Regirock!"

A giant poke ball started to surround Khasim and rocks started to assemble around it until it took the form of a giant Regirock.

"Ancient Power!"

"! What's that noise?

Shana walked up to the balcony and looked at the direction where the noise came from.

"An explosion, oh no my grandma must have found me I need to do something!"

She gazed quickly around the room, until she spotted the decorative weapons. She grabbed a decorative knife and hid it in her dress.

"I won't let you take away my happiness you old hag!"

"This is fun weeeee! Rock Slide, Superpower, Stone Edge, Hammer Arm, Zap Cannon and Hyper Beam!"

Khamsin was happily playing his 'game' while the Tomogara, who were his victims were slaughtered in a cruel painful way.

"Khamsin isn't the maximum number of attacks that a Pokémon can learn four?"

"That's boring nee-chan I wanna use more moves and have more fun Yaaaay!"

"Heh, kids are so fucking annoying, but at least he does his job right. Okay it's time for me to join this fucking game!"

"Yaay more more Weeheee! Come here walking plushies I wanna play more!"

* * *

><p>So this concludes chapter 8 I had fun writing it.<p>

(1) In Shakugan no Shanatan Final Destruction those four are acting like some kind of power rangers. I thought let's make a show out of that.

(2) Gag is a form of comedy in japan.

(3) Laputa is a movie about a City in the sky directed by Miyazaki Hayao it was released in 1986. I'd recommend you to watch it, it's very good.

(4) They're performing a manzai act, that's another form of Japanese comedy just check Wikipedia for more info.

"Yuji: You took very long writing this chapter.

Me: I had a writer's block and I have a life too if you didn't knew that.

Yuji: That's a very short writer's block.

Me: This story just loves me ;)

Pearl: WHY THE HELL DID YOU HAVE TO PUT DIAMOND AND I IN THE STORY WERE FROM A DIFFERENT MANGA!

Me: It's only a cameo I really love your manga and I got this idea while I was watching episode 8, besides you 2 aren't dead you're just unconscious I like you two too much to let you be killed and SnS is originally a light novel that got adapted into a anime and also a manga.

Diamond: I want food and where's Ojou-sama?

Shana: You guys are lucky that you only got a cameo the rest of us are stuck with her for the rest of the story.

Rebecca: What's with you and Pokémon you make way to many references and jokes!

Me: I love Pokémon okay the games are awesome and there're some very good manga, but don't worry guys Shakugan no Shana is still my number one anime.

Shana: I am not sure if I should be flattered or disappointed.

Me: Anyway Review please and till the next chapter. Bye bye.


	10. Wedding Special

I xxxDreamingflowerxxx, will welcome my faithful readers to the wedding special of A Shakugan no Shana III Final Parody. Again thank you readers and reviewers let's keep this story going, since I can't write without you guys.

Marchosias: HAHAHAHAHA, hey wait, why am I not in this chapter?

Me: Because this chapter describes how Yuji and Shana's wedding went so it's pretty obvious why you're not in it.

Margery: Come on Marco, at least I can have a small break and drink some beer.

Marchosias: HAHAHAHA but you drink all the time my beloved goblet Margery Daw! Ouch!

Margery: Shut up! Baka Marco!

Me: Guys, the disclaimer please.

Margery and Marchosias: Oh yeah, xxxDreamingflowerxxx doesn't own Shakugan no Shana, who knows what would have happen to the story if she did.

Me: WHAT?

* * *

><p>Wedding Special<p>

**Chigusa's POV**

I was spending my day like I normally do; cleaning, working in the garden and any other housekeeping job there is. My son still hasn't visited me. Talk about being an ungrateful and heartless son. I'll hope that he at least threats Shana-chan well and if he doesn't show up when his brother is born he's going to get it. Family is more important than being the leader of some organization. I was about to have something to eat when I heard the doorbell.

"I wonder who that is, Kantarou-san won't be back for a few months and Wilhelmina must be busy with her own things."

I opened the door to see who the visitor was.

"Are you Sakai Chigusa?"

"Yes I am."

"I have a package for you Mrs. I'll hope you have a good day."

I waved the mailman goodbye and closed the door. I wonder who send it and what the content is. I walked to the living room and took a seat.

"The sender is, Yu-chan? After all those months he finally decides to contact me?

I opened the package and I found a letter with a DVD, is this some kind of video message? I guess it's better to read the letter first.

For my lovely mother,

How have you been? I am very sorry that I wasn't able to contact sooner or pay a visit, but I've been very busy since I became Bal Masqué's leader, so I hope that this letter will be enough and don't worry, if I have time I'll come to visit you. Most of the preparations are finished and I am sure that by the time you're reading this I'll be busy with completing the 2nd step of the grand order. Shana and Alastor are fine. Shana has to get used to her new live. I've tried my best to make her happy and I want you also to inform that she's now officially part of our family. YUP WE'RE MARRIED AND I AM SO HAPPY THAT SHE'S OFICIALLY MY WIFE NOW! I wish you were able to come, but that wouldn't be safe so that's why I've send you this letter with the DVD. Don't worry about the quality; I've assigned the best Tomgara to montage it. I wish you the best and I hope I'll get a healthy little brother.

With love,

Your son Yuji

"Seems like Yu-chan is really rushing things and it was only Christmas when he decided to date her. To marry Shana-chan a few months after that, he could at least inform me that he was planning to marry her. At least he's thoughtful enough to put it on a DVD."

I inserted the DVD in the DVD player and started to watch.

* * *

><p><strong>Yuji's POV<strong>

"This is the best moment of my life." I said with a big smile on my face.

Shana started at me with eyes as if she's staring at some crazy person. "Yuji your smile is scaring me, are you alright?"

"Of course I'm alright, no day could be better than our wedding day, except for the day our children will be born. That would be the happiest day of my life."

"… eh… I wonder what kinds of food there will be."

"Sakai Yuji, aren't you supposed to wait for Shana at the altar?"

"That's human tradition Alastor and since you're… a talking pendant whose existence is residing in Shana, there won't be anyone to walk with her and I don't want her to walk alone."

"But you had a human live until recently."

"So? I still don't want to see my lovely wife walking alone to the altar. Now let's go."

**Normal POV**

"~Mean mean mean Sairei no Hebi, he's heartless and cold and mean mean mean. *snif snif* My. My instrument Waahaaa.~"

"Rofocale shut up, there's not one moment were I regret destroying your instrument!"

Every member from Bal Masqué has gathered to witness this special occasion of their commander. It's not like you can see your commander getting married every day and of course everyone is in a party mood, except for Rofocale, Phirsyon and of course Hecate."

-_- "Stop lying, it's the first time I've been at a party."

Bel Peol is stuffing herself full with alcohol and food, Ribersal and his friends are discussing this evenings program, which is kinda useless since a wedding doesn't have a program at all, Dantalion and Domino are checking the music list, seems like those two are really eager to go all out and Sabrac is trying to get his tux right. I have to admit trying to image the guys in a tux and the women in an elegant dress, except for Phirsyon, who's wearing its usual clothes in a different color and Hecate who's not even bothering in changing, is very funny. Oh and let's not forget about Sydonay hehehe…

"*sniff* this *sniff* day *sniff* is *sniff* is beautiful *sniff* the day were two people who love each other with all their hearts *sniff*and are finally able to make their vows eternal *sniff sniff*, they'll be able to spent time with each other for eternity, have a lot of happy memories and tell everyday how much they love each other…"

"Sydonay, for the last time you and Hecate well never be together got that*hick*."

"YOU'RE LYING YOU'RE LYING YOU'RE LYING YOU'RE LYING! WE'RE THE PERFECT MATCH! WE'RE MENT TO BE TOGETHER! WE'RE MENT TO BE TOGETHER! SO STOP SAYING THOSE THINGS YOU MEAN OLD HAG!"

-_- "Stop with annoying me you hentai Jiji, I prefer listening to Rofocale's songs than having to listen to your stupid love speeches and for the last time I am not yours. Now start with the wedding already."

"… My… cute… Itadaki no Kura Hecate-chan… called me… and old… pervert… WAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAA! My Hecate-chan *sniff sniff* How can you say that about us Waaahaaaa! *sniff* we're here *sniff* gathered *sniff * together *sniff* for *sniff* these two *sniff* to *sniff spent their lives *sniff* !..."

Everyone was looking at Sydonay with confused eyes. How the hell are they supposed to continue when the priest is crying and unintelligible? Shana was speechless with Sydonay's behavior.

"I should have been used to this already, but I am still surprised with all the idiots that represent Bal Masqué. I can't believe that this is the Bal Masqué that's feared by Outlaw. Yuji I don't think this was a good idea after all."

"Nonsense, Sydonay speak clearer! We can't understand a word you say how are we supposed to continue?"

"Just skip to the vows already! *sniff*"

Yuji turned to face Shana, with eyes full of passion and love he took one deep breath before he started; "Shana, when I first met you I thought you were an angel descended from the sky, at the beginning I thought that all these feelings were all lust to have your body. I couldn't stop thinking about your cute small body, your flat chest, those pink lips that are begging to be kissed and your cute blush when you're embarrassed, your warm, soft skin, that long silky hair and your scent that makes my brain go completely blank and strengthens my craving for you. Days passed and my love and craving for you grew stronger, we've been through so much together and our bond got stronger too. I'll never forget the first time you said Urusai to me, it sounded like music to me…

* * *

><p>2 hours later…<p>

Now that I finally realized how much I love you I don't want to let you go, I refuse to share you with anyone, your body belongs to me and only me, I am the only one who can see your cute sleeping face, the noises you make in your sleep, your smile, or the face that you put when you eat melon pan and your sweet kisses. I am so happy that I'm able to spend the rest of my existence with you and I'll make sure that you'll be happy and receive enough love."

"*snore*YAWN… Huh? What are you done, finally?" Sydonay asked with a yawn and a hint of embarrassment on his face.

Most of the Tomogara had fell asleep by the time Yuji finally finished his super long speech, even Shana was struggling with staying awake. Yuji looked a bit irritated when he noticed that not only Sydonay fell asleep.

"… just continue."

"Oh yes, princess your turn."

"Uhh *snore* Wha? Oh yeah my turn uhm, Yuji I like you as much as melon pan, video games, manga and anime… maybe I like you a bit more than those, even though in the beginning you were annoying the crap out of me and I saw you as an annoying Mystes/ Torch, who couldn't do anything wrong. Now I know you're worth more than that, if only you smelled like melon pan."

"Shana if he did, then you wouldn't able to concentrate on anything."

"You think so Alastor?"

"Thrust me on this one, I know for sure and instead of helping the balance you'd be more pushing the world to oblivion."

"~WAAAHAAA MY INSTRUMENT I WANT IT BACK, STUPID GOD STOP BEING SELFISH *sniff sniff* I WANNA SING SING TO CUTE CHILDREN AND PHIRSYON-CHAN *sniff sniff*~"

"$*&#%! NOOOO FUCKING BITCH LEAVE ME ALONE I DON'T WANT MY SOUL GET SUCKED OUT AGAIN SOMEONE HELP ME! "

"You little…! How dare you to bring Phirsyon back to her state! Have you got any idea how long it took us to make her talk and act like a normal Tomogara! You're going to get it now!" Ribersal snaps as he and his friends ran towards Rofocale and started beating him to pulp. Soon a small fight broke out and some other Tomogara joined the Rofocale beating.

**Shana's POV**

… I can't believe my eyes, some of the most feared Tomogara are fighting in front of me because of something stupid… and other joined for fun… I looked at Yuji, he looked like he was trying to keep his head cool, but I am sure everyone could see that he's really angry.

"Is this the way Bal Masqué celebrates?" Alastor wondered.

And so the mess continues; Ribersal, Stolas, Purson and some other Tomogara kept beating Rofocale up, Bel Peal looked even more drunk than the Chōshi no Yomite normally is, Sydonay keeps complaining and crying about the Itadaki no Kura, while she's glaring at him with an expression of killing intent. Kaijin Saburaku, Sabrac is just staring like an idiot at something while he talks about his boring past and the Tantankyūkyū Dantalion is just screaming as the mad scientist that he is and pinching Domino again with a big metal pincer.

"SILENCE EVERYONE! I WON'T ALLOW ANY OF YOU TO RUIN THIS JOYFUL DAY OF MINE AND IF ANY OF YOU IS GOING TO INTERUPT US AGAIN YOU'LL REGRET IT!"

The crowd got quiet and I could see their faces turning pale except for the once who belong in a madhouse.

"I am asleep for a thousand years and the world has gone insane, I can't believe this is the same Bal Masqué that I created ages ago, their pride, dignity and respect is completely gone. It's more like a circus than a Tomogara organization."

I looked at Yuji surprised… so his alter ego is awake? "How long have you been listening to this all?"

"I heard everything, remember that Sakai Yuji and I are one I can hear what he hears ."

"… It feels like I am marrying two persons…"

"Don't be silly Shana, he's my alter ego, conscience or whatever you can call it, but we're still the same body. Now Sydonay stop with your crying and continue or I'll make sure you won't be able to have a conversation with the priestess ever again."

"… Commander I'd be very glad if you are able to look the general away in a closet were I won't have to see or hear him ever again. You'll also be allowed to eat my favorite dessert"

**Sydonay's POV**

"This *sniff* I'll *sniff make sure to please my commander and get my cute Hecate-chan's heart."

-_- "Get away from me you disgusting hentai jiji, you're making me sick."

I felt my heart shatter again when she said those words again. No matter how many times she says it, it still feels like it's the first time she's saying it.

"… You called me *sniff sniff*Uhhhh *sob sob* Hecate-chan *sob sob* you… *sob*

"START ALREADY YOU IDIOT! I DIDN'T MADE YOU THE PRIEST SO YOU CAN CRY ON MY WEDDING!"

"!"

"NOT AGAIN! SPEAK CLEARLY STUPID GENERAL WE CAN'T UNDERSTAND A WORD YOU SAY. WE'VE BEEN HERE FOR HOURS AND THE ONLY THING I WILL REMEMBER IS YOUR COMPLAINING ABOUT THE PRIESTESS. DON'T BE SUCH A WIMP PLUS IT'S OBVIOUS SHE HATES YOU! JUST GET OVER WITH THIS AND FINNISH THIS WEDDING…"

"SCREW THIS! I DECLARE YOU TWO AS HUSBAND AND WIFE JUST KISS THE PRINCESS ALREADY!"

I closed the book and took my leave I am sick of everyone thinking they know better than me… I am out of here.

**Shana's POV**

I stared confused at Senpen Sydonay as he stormed out of the room crying, but before I could realize what he said Yuji grabbed my head and started to kiss me passionately. Even after 2 minutes he didn't stop.

"HMPFFBLE!"

I… can't breathe… need air… suffocating… For some reason I was still able to hear the voices from everyone, not that I could tell who those voices belong to.

"Uhm guys you think the princess is fine?"

"I don't know she's starting to look a bit pale."

"Stop it Sakai Yuji can't you see you're suffocating her!"

I finally felt like I was able to get some air, but I felt dizzy and I can't get my thought together.

"Shana! I am so sorry, don't worry I'll help you."

*slap* "I wasn't unconscious and you have some nerve to use CPR as an excuse to kiss me after what happened!"

"I don't need an excuse to kiss you my love you're my wife now so I can kiss you as many times as I want. Not let's go to the wedding reception."

He picked me up in bridal style and left the room.

**Yuji's POV**

"We're now finally married I am so happy. After the grand order is finally finished we'll be able to go to our honeymoon, I already have an idea where we should go. Maybe you should get a job as an assassin or something. In a year we can have children. I can't wait for the day that I'll hear that I am going to be a daddy."

"You know Yuji there's no need to rush… I mean there are a lot of other things that we can do."

"But I want children as soon as possible."

"… WHAT? BUT… BUT… I AM NOT READY! I have too much to learn about social affairs… I can't even cook and I'll never be able to! I am not that good at house holding either. I always got scolded by my grandma!"

"But doesn't she scold everyone? No matter if you do it right or not."

"Nice going Alastor."

"You're welcome."

"Don't worry about that Shana we'll have maids for that. Plus it's a common fact that Flame Haze suck at cooking and other house holding affairs."

"Be happy that you don't know the whole story Sakai Yuji."

"Shana everyone will be nervous when they have their first child, don't worry I'll help you that's what family is for."

"But you don't look nervous at all! Alastor say something!"

"It's not an easy task raising a child; they need a lot of attention and since yours won't be human, I am sure it'll be even more troublesome. They also cry a lot you'll hardly have any sleep. When we found Shana Wilhelmina had already troubles with her and she was about 5 years old."

"But wasn't Shana human back then and she was not a baby?"

"… But it was still a troublesome task! Try to imagine how she would be if she was younger! I can still hear Shiro screaming and complaining about Shana making everything that's white dirty!"

"Isn't that normal of course raising a kid will be that hard, but if I am able to chance this world then I am sure that having children won't be that hard."

"Let's talk about melon pan or something else… that's much more comfortable to talk about. Right, Alastor?"

"You have that first dance thingy right?"

"Uhm can we skip that please?"

I looked at her with a surprised face; "Why shouldn't we? It's the first thing we'll have to do as newlyweds."

"I can't dance."

"Don't be shy I'm here with you."

I dragged Shana to the middle of the room. Shana started to look around her.

"How come most of the Tomogara are only standing and watching us? Except for the Tantankyūkyū, Domino and that Dracula lookalike Mammon… they are horrible dancers I have to admit. Wait is he dancing in front of a mirror?"

"Mammon is Dracula… only he doesn't look that old and has a love for himself instead of women. SO yeah he's dancing with himself I would advise you to not stare at him for so long, you might see some unpleasant things. I still can't get that scene where I saw him touching himself out of my head. It was so horrifying. As for the other Tomogara you should know that most of them are male. If they'd dance it'll look like they're gay."

"What about the few women who are present?"

I started to look around the room; Bel Peol was still stuffing herself full with food and alcohol, I think she can't be reasoned with anymore, Hecate was looking like a scary robot like always, Lerajie was standing somewhere with some voodoo dolls having an evil look on her face and Phirsyon is a genderless damaged Tomogara.

"I don't think it will be a good idea if they dance. Since they have messed up personalities, it might cause bloodshed."

"I still refuse to dance!"

"Come on it won't be that bad I promise."

I tried to get Shana to dance, but she's really persistent.

"Come on Shana have you got any idea how embarrassing this is?"

"I really can't dance and I am sure that no one is paying attention!"

Upon the struggling Shana accidently bumped against the table and as result Bel Peol's clothes were drenched with beer.

"WHAT THE FUCK HAVE YOU DONE TO MY DRESS! YOU' LL PAY FOR THIS!"

We immediately ducked when she threw a bottle of wine at us, but Ribersal and some other Tomogara behind us were hit.

"Watch where you're throwing slut! You're not getting away with this!"

His aim missed just a few inches and instead of Bel Peol Hecate got hit. This is going to be disastrous.

"Uh oh… uhm sorry?"

-_- "… You will pay!"

She took a plate and some knifes and threw them, Ribersal evaded and another Tomogara got hit. And before I knew it drink and food were flying all over the place. Some Tomogara started to fight again, Dantalion threw his crazy inventions, I saw blood all around Hecate when she was strangling Ribersal, Bel Peol threw glasses and cursed at everyone, I saw Lamies trying to protect his art that he brought with him and Mammon was trying to protect himself from getting dirty…

Shana and I stood there for a while watching the food fight and slaughter.

"Well at least I don't have to dance and the crowd is finally paying attention at something else."

"… … …" I need to keep my cool, I won't blow up anything again… must… not… destroy…

**Normal POV**

*BOOM!* The explosion caused by Yuji made every Tomogara halt their actions and tremble in fear for their leader. Everything was a mess and Yuji walked out angry while dragging Shana with him.

"Well that party was… uhm unique. I've never seen so many drunken, scarred and twisted Tomogara in my whole existence. They even started a food fight for a silly reason." Alastor sweat dropped.

Shana looked behind her to watch every Tomogara unconscious scattered in the room

"Shall I stop filming?"

Suddenly all the other Tomogara woke up and jumped towards the camera; "DECARABIA! TURN THAT THING OFF THIS INSTANT AND ERASE EVERYTHING THAT'S ON IT! OR WE'LL MAKE YOU LIVE A LIVING HELL!"

**Shana's POV**

I looked up at Yuji; he hasn't said a thing since we left the room. I wonder how mad he is.

"Uhm Yuji, are you okay?"

He stopped walking and turned to me. He stared at me for a few seconds before he started to hug me.

"We're finally alone, I am so happy."

So far his anger I guess. He started to kiss me and I fell on the bed… I have a feeling that this scene is kinda familiar.

"Mphf Yuji mphf, can you please let go of me?"

He started to kiss my neck and touch me. "For this night Shana I won't let go, I'll give you all the love that I have."

"I don't want this… please I am not ready."

"You shouldn't complain Shana this is not your first time and this is the last time I can be with you, before I have to leave to complete step two of the grand order. This is my parting gift to you."

Again my brain got stuck… so the same thing as a few chapters ago will happen again… and the author says that people…

"HEEEEEE…!" Before I could finish I was interrupted by Yuji's kiss."

**Chigusa's POV**

I stared at the TV screen for a while, that was kinda surprising.

"The wedding may have been close to being a failure, but that's no reason for him not to invite his mother… when he gets back I am going to educate him properly about manners! I wonder if I should send him to the dungeon again as punishment… or should I use a new method?"

I looked at the letter again… didn't Yu-chan said that the Tomogara would montage the DVD and how did those fights and private scenes appear on the DVD is Yu-chan even aware of that?

* * *

><p>A: HAHAHAHAHA Yeah they did, but there isn't any Tomogara in Bal Masqué that has experience with editing and cutting scenes, so instead of cutting out all the embarrassing scenes they mixed the DVD up with one of the surveillance cameras! They don't even have talent working with that hahahaha! IDIOTS HAHAHAHA!<p>

* * *

><p>"I wonder if Caramel-san received a DVD of the wedding too."<p>

**Wilhelmina's POV**

"… This… is… –De arimasu…"

"Shocked event."

I stared at the television for hours. –De arimasu. Until I stood up and went to the kitchen, I opened one of the drawers and took out a knife. –De arimasuka.

"I am going to kill that Mystes! –De arimasu. Screw the fact that he became a god! –De arimasen."

"Instant kill."

* * *

><p>And that was the wedding chapter guys! You liked it? I hope you do, because I was pretty much stuck on this one.<p>

Shana: You really have nothing better to do?

Me: My sis was begging me to write this and some friends of mine were also asking me to write it. I can't refuse their please.

Yuji: But isn't that kinda like the Sairei no Hebi with the Tomogara?

Me: Nope I am no Santa for Tomogara or my readers and I take my time, plus I am not surrounded by idiots and I am also selfish. ;D

Sairei no Hebi: You will pay if you say that again.

Me: Okay BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA BAKA! :D

Sairei no Hebi: STOP MAKING FUN OF ME!

Me: MAKE ME!

Rebecca: Can you please hurry and write to next chapter I want to read the parts were I appear.

Me: If you can restrain mister snake here then yes I will.

Sairei no Hebi: I am going to kill you!

Me: Well good luck with that.

Alastor: Till next time everyone and don't forget to leave a review.


	11. More destruction and an escape

Welcome everyone xxxDreamingflowerxxx is back with a new chapter. I want to thank the readers and reviewers for still being here for us.

Shana: Are you rushing or something? You are updating too fast.

Me: Ask that my brain ideas are coming up without me doing a thing.

Khamsin: Well at least your head is at peace.

Me: Hehe you can say it like that. I won't have to think about the fact that the anime is close to ending…

Alasor: Three weeks left right?

Me: Don't remind me of that.

Alastor: But you still have this story and many others that will come.

Me: I guess you're right. Okay enough chitty chat Khamsin the disclaimer!

Khamsin: xxxDreamingflowerxxx doesn't own Shakugan no Shana. If she did then maybe there won't be any end to it.

Me: Why do you all have only negative ideas about me?

* * *

><p>Chapter 9: More destruction and an escape<p>

**Normal POV**

At Seireiden, Khamsin is still playing with the Tomogara in a very cruel way many have already lost their lives after that traumatic experience. Children are so cute when they play innocently.

"Weee! This is so fun! Come here plushies I want to play more! Zap Cannon!"

Khamsin continues his games while Rebecca was also enjoying herself with destroying Seireiden.

"TAKE THAT BITCHES! This is even better than the time I escaped prison, I have so much more to destroy here."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile at the small swimming party of Fecor and Decarabia<p>

"This is what I call life and Decarabia you're one lucky bastard that you can swim in here whenever you want."

"Well I am a fish I can't move if there's no water."

*rumble rumble rumble*

"What's that noise and where is this earthquake coming from?"

"Rantei Fecor-sama we are under attack!"

"… Why are you disturbing our swimming for such a reason?"

"Fecor-sama let's just check who are attacking us."

"… Fine."

A big hologram appeared showing Rebecca destroying and taunting the Tomogara. She turned around so that Decarabia and Fecor could see her face and she stuck out her tongue and her middle finger to them, while Khamsin was playing like he always does and not even paying attention to his surroundings.

"What are the orders Fecor-sama?"

Fecor sighed; "Just send the camel and the kitty to distract them at least, since those two Flame Haze aren't easy to beat and order the maids to bring the princess to the lower parts of Seireiden."

"But Fecor-sama Uvall is a dromedary and not a camel."

"I don't give a damn Decarabia! Camel, dromedary they're the same."

"No they aren't."

"SHUT UP!"

Another earthquake came and Fecor was almost exploding from anger and irritation.

"FUCK THOSE EARTHQUAKES! I'VE HAD IT! GO LEGO BLOCKS BLOCK THE PATH TO THE GOD GATE! MAKE SURE IT WON'T BE DESTROYED OR IT'LL RAIN MARIOS FOR THE REST OF OUR LIVES!"

"Seriously, Lego blocks? Fecor-sama don't you have any better idea to guard that gate?"

"In Final Fantasy Crystal Chronicles Echoes of Time a block made one of the levels look cool so I thought I could try it as a wall. It would have been better if I could use crystals or something along that line, but I am not in possession of such items."

"So you want to fulfill your duty or do you want to continue swimming?"

"What the hell do you think? Swimming of course I am sure everyone else if able to defend Seireiden and since my Lego blocks are protecting the gate it shouldn't hurt swimming a bit longer."

* * *

><p>At Shana<p>

"Need to collect everything valuable before they perish in the debris. Let's check manga anime video games and the most important melon pan. I need more bags and bigger ones too. How the hell am I supposed to bring them all with me on my escape attend?"

* * *

><p>At the closet where Shana's beloved nodachi (1); Nietono no Shana rests. The katana is starting to resonate with something and it's emitting blue glows and if you listen closely you can hear a serial killer panting.<p>

**Shana's POV**

I was still busy with collecting everything when the maids came in.

"Shana-sama it became too dangerous here, please come with us we'll bring you to a safer place."

"I won't leave this room until I have collected all my treasures!"

"Sorry Shana-sama, but by the time we have packed everything it'll be too late."

Before I could say anything else they grabbed me by my arms and dragged me out of the room… ? If I don't find a way to escape gramps will arrive in no time and I'll be send to hell!"

**Rebecca's POV **

"Ooh Lego blocks I want them can I have them nee-chan?"

"Do whatever you want you shitty kid."

"Yaaay thank you nee-chan."

So the retarded immortal 6 year old was trying to shoot down the Lego blocks in order to play with those.

"I am sure that the one responsible for those Lego blocks is no one else but Rantei Fecor."

"Why do you think that, Balar?"

"He's the only one that I know would do half the work that they gave him, since no one takes note of his complains."

"That Khamsin brat is really going wild, by the way where does that fucking kid get his energy from?"

I started to shoot down some canons and Tomogara that were firing the canons. HAH, that serves them right.

"Oi brat we're going to play with an old man called Rantei Fecor he's hiding someone and it's or job to find him and play with him!

"Yaaay I want to play with Ji-chan! Ji-chan come here I want to play!"

Khasmin continued his rampaged play, but now much worse. Tomogara were screaming and running in fear while they got killed.

"Khamsin Nbh'w you shouldn't forget the main reason we're for. If you keep going like this you'll kill the Empatsu Shakugan no Uchite too."

"Yes daddy."

Man I am happy that that fucking weapon is at our side and not playing with me.

"Okay let's keep this show going! Take this Bal Masqué!"

**Wilhelmina's POV**

"A POV again? Yay! –De arimasu."

"Feeling joyful."

I am running through the small corridors of Seireiden. –De arimasu. I am using a stealth technique so that I won't be noticed by the Tomogara. –De arimasuka. Just like in Charllie's angels, except that my 2 partners are making a rampage outside as distraction. –De arimasu.

"I am glad that Tendōkyū is very handy for these cases. –De arimasu. Good thing that the Tenjou no Gouka was able to bribe Gavida in giving us the Hougu for such a cheap price."

* * *

><p>*Flashback time guys*<p>

Rebecca, the Gisō no Karite, Khamsin and I were walking through Tendōkyū's halls on our way to Seireiden. –De arimasu. Of course the child was running from one place to another.

"This is such a big castle. Is there a princess sleeping here?"

"The princess is in another castle and we're on our way to rescue her."

"Let's hope we won't encounter some oversized fire breathing turtles. –De arimasu."

"Bowser."

"Hah the chance we'll find a fucking snake in eternal mating season and shoots black fire is bigger than a turtle. I can't wait to have a fight with him; I'll finally be able to have a fight against a strong opponent."

"Going… to strangle… that snake! –De arimasu."

"Nee-chan what's a mating season?"

"It's a game for adults. –De arimasu."

"M rated."

"I can't join the game then?"

"Trust me it'll be better if you'll never have to play that shitty game."

"Then how are we able to find the other castle were the princess is sleeping and where is the prince who's supposed to rescue her?

"Tendōkyū and Seireiden are a Hougu pair. –De arimasu. They were part of Laputa, but after a horrible incident the floating island fell apart and Seireiden and Tendōkyū crumbled from. –De arimasuka. After that a Tomogara called Gavida decided to make Seireiden a floating weapon and Tendōkyū a floating shield. If the two were ever brought close a road to connect the two will appear. –De arimasen. As for the prince, the one who kidnapped the princess was her prince, who's nearing his torture. –De arimasu."

"Reverted faitytale."

"Then why are we going to get the princess?"

"In case the evil witch arrives and makes every ones lives a complete hell."

"What I don't understand, why did that fucking Gavida guy turned those fortresses in Hougu?"

"Actually I have no idea either. –De arimasu. From what I know is that he was a lunatic when he was alive. –De arimasu."

"Danger to society."

We continued our walk until we came to the place were both Seireiden and Tendōkyū connected. Light started to shine and a bridge started to appear.

"WHAT THE FUCK! A RAINBOW BRIDGE! THAT LOOKS SO GAY! WE'RE NOT SUPPOSE SO SAVE SOMEONE FROM A FAT PIG AND THERE ISN'T EVEN AN ANOYING FUCKING FAIRY WITH US!"

"We have to fight a snake I guess and the annoying fairy is replaced for a 6 year old immortal idiot. –De arimasu."

"Replacements."

"OWWW A RAINDOW CAN I WALK ON IT? PLEASE, PLEASE, PLEASE? HEY! LISTEN! WATCH OUT! LISTEN! HEY!"

"I see what you mean Banjō no Shite, he's influenced by his surrounding easily, but we have no evil repelling sword."

"BAKA Fubatsu no Senrei! We have violence for that. We'll just crush every one of them until they cry for their mothers!"

"Let's drop this topic. –De arimasu. We need to get Shana before the demon arrives."

"Little time left."

"I wonder if Bal Masque is aware of this ability of the Hougu. –De arimasu."

"Neglecting a lunatic Tomogara."

* * *

><p>I'll hope to find her soon. –De arimasu. Too bad, that this place is like a maze. –De arimasu.<p>

**Shana's POV**

I was still getting dragged around by the maids, since I'll try to get back to the room the moment they'll let me go.

"NOOO, MY MELON PAAAAN! PLEASE AT LEAST DON'T SEPARATE ME FROM MY BELOVED MELON PAN! PLEASE STOP! YOU CAN'T DO THIS TO ME!"

I looked around try to find a way to get back to my melon pan. The corridors have become pretty narrow… Heheh why is it so hard to breath here? Don't tell me that I'm CLAUSTROPHBIC? I need to get out of here quick or else I'll be locked away in a narrow room and if gramps finds me in this state… I'd be doomed! NOOOOO!

* * *

><p>At Khamsin<p>

"Yaaay look I can use the moves Stomp, Earthquake, Magnitude and Fissure! WEEE"

* * *

><p>The walls started to shudder more and before I knew it the roof collapsed, burying me and the maids under a pile of debris.<p>

"KYAAAAAA!"

Back at Nietono no Shana, the nodachi starts to glow and resonate more and the panting is getting louder.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile at Yuji's<p>

"My Shana sense is ringing! SOMETHING HAPPENED TO MY DARLING!"

"NO TIME TO THINK ABOUT YOUR WIFE COMMANDER AND KEEP RUNNING IF YOU DON'T WANT TO FALL IN OBLIVION!"

**Normal POV**

Somewhere in the sky, Sophie is snoring in the front seat of the plane, while the other Flame Haze are sitting in the back of the plane as far away from her as they can. Making sure no one will wake her up.

"Ah, ah, HACHOOO!"

"WHA WHAT WHO THE FUCK WOKE ME UP?"

All the other Flame Haze immediately tried to hide behind their seats in fear and pointed at François.

"YOU LITTLE FUCKING GAY BITCH! WHO GAVE YOU THE PERMISSION TO WAKE ME?"

"But, but Sophie Sawallisch-sama I was only sneezing." He answered while trembling in fear.

"THAT'S THE LAMEST GAYING EXCUSE THAT I'VE EVER HEARD! HAVEN'T YOUR PARENTS TAUGHT YOU HOW TO LIE BETTER? YOU PISSY EXCISTENCE! AND WHY WASN'T ANYONE CAPABLE OF SILENCING THIS THING? LOST YOUR BALLS OR SOMETHING? WHY ARE GUYS SUCH SISSY THINGS? NEXT TIME MAKES HIM QUIET OR I'LL MAKE SURE YOU'LL ALL LOSE YOU BALLS AND MORE!"

François curled himself into a ball and started to cry; "Waahaaaaa! Waaaaaa!"

"Hahahaahah serves you right bitch! So can anyone else be useful and inform me when we'll arrive?"

"Be patient Sophie Sawallisch-sama, China is far away from Zurich so it'll take more than half a day to get there."

"WHAT? YOU FUCKING BITCH, IF WE KEEP UP WITH THIS TURTLE SPEED THAT FUCKING SNAKE WILL BE ABLE TO COMPLETE HIS PLAN BEFORE WE ARRIVE AND IT'LL BE HARDER FOR ME TO DESTROY HIS HAPPINESS!"

"D-Don't worry S-Sophie S-Sa-Sawallisch-Sama I am sure their plan needs a lot of preparation till they can start it. We will arrive on time."

"IN YOUR ASS YEAH! THEY DON'T HAVE YOUR SPEED YOU PIECE OF SHIT! I AM SURE THEY'VE BEEN PLANNING EVERYTHING BEHIND THE SHADOWS ALREADY AND WHILE YOU ALL HAVE BEEN DOING NOTHING EXCEPT FOR MASTUBADING YOURSELVES! USELESS BASTARDS SERIOUSLY WHY DID YOUR GUZE NO OU EVEN BOTHERED MAKING A CONTRACT WITH YOU BUNCH OF FAILURES! IT MAKES ME SICK JUST LOOKING AT YOU ALL! GO TO SOME PLACE WERE YOU CAN HUMILIATE YOURSELF FURTHER!"

Samuel ran into the bathroom and locked it after a few seconds he started crying making Sophie laugh worse than the devil and make the other Flame Haze cowering in fear.

**Rebecca's POV**

I looked up at the sky, while the brat is killing the Tomogara off.

"Oi Balar why do you think that fucking old man put those Lego blocks in front of that hole?"

"Well I am not sure, but I assume that it's part of Bal Masqué's plan, but I am surprised that Rantei Fecor is even bothering with protecting that hole, if you think about his bad health, age, the fact that Bal Masqué makes his cancel his appointments and that he always complains about it."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Gosh beating that old nut up will be so fun HAHAHAHA! …But I am surprised that that fucking Mystes and the shitty Trinity haven't appeared yet. They should have appeared by now. I guess their disappearance has something to do with that hole."

I continued my attacks on Seireiden, trying to kill as many Tomogara as possible.

"Stop right here –Nya! I can't allow you to destroy Seireiden –Nya!"

"Seems like Bal Masqué hasn't got many good fighters anymore and are sending now a shitty kitty to kill me. Hahahaha!

"Stop it –Nya. I am not a kitty –Nya I am a lion –Nya!

"Why so sad Purson? Are you running out of milk? Or are you looking for some mice or fishes?"

"I said stop it –Nya!"

I started to scratch and lick my hands like a cat; "Nya nyanya nyanayanyanyanya."

"I staid stop it!"

I pulled out a pair of cat ears and a cat tail, put them then on and started to dance; "Nyan nyannyannaynnan nyannya nnyannyan nyannyan." (2)

"THAT DOES IT –NYA! YOU HAVE ALREADY DONE TERRIBLE THINGS; BY INFILTRAIDING IN OUR HEADQUARTERS AND DESTROYING EVERYTHING –NYA! BUT MAKING FUN OF ME GOES TOO FAR –NYA! NOW PREPARE TO DIE –NYA!"

"Take good care of your 9 lives shitty kitten because I'll beat the crap out of you and take them away in no time."

I ran my way towards him, but for some reason a giant spoon appeared out of nowhere and I was scooped into the air.

"WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT?"

"Hahahahaha –Nya. Take that –Nya. That's the Tantankyūkyū Dantalion's new invention –Nya! Seems like offering myself to be his guinea pig, despise the painful and horrible moments did pay off –Nya!"

So that's why he's making kitty noises after every sentence. That fucking mad scientist made him a shit kitten from the inside. While I continued to evade his attacks Purson seemed to activate another trap and the 6 year old brat and me were send into the sky almost hitting the Lego blocks.

"Fuck we're going to get hit! Oi brat, do something!"

"Yes nee-chan! ROCKET BOOTS!"

I stared with amazement at him; "Where the hell did you get those? They're fucking awesome."

"Diddy Kong is my favorite character from the Donkey Kong games and monkeys."

"Now you know what you get if you insult me again –Nya!"

"Okay shit cat you got me pissed now! It's time to get serious!"

"What you weren't serious –Nya!"

"After my prison break stunt I wasn't allowed to go all out, but since I am at Seireiden now I am sure they won't mind if I go all nuts out here! SO PREPARE TO DIE YOU FUCKING BITCH!"

"Rebecca, be careful were you're aiming okay. You shouldn't forget that we came with allies."

I ignored Balar and stared at Purson with a yangire face(3), combining my powers for the next attack.

**Shana's POV**

My body hurts very much; I can see the debris and the fire that was caused by the collapsing of the roof. I am surprised that I am alive and even conscious after that. It's so hard to breath here and it became even more narrow than first. I think I am starting to hyperventilate; I need to get out of here quick before I choke to dead. I tried to gather my strength.

"Damn this stupid Hougu, if it weren't for Tartaros binding my powers… why hasn't Yuji removed it after we got married? Baka Yuji!"

* * *

><p>At Yuji's<p>

*Sneezes twice*(4) "I feel like I have forgotten something very important."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile Nietono no Shana's reacting, glowing starting to become more violently and the panting is getting louder.<p>

* * *

><p>Finally my body started to move, I started to crouch slowly trying to get out of this scary place, but my leg was grabbed by one of the maids.<p>

"We can't allow you to escape."

"No let me go, I don't want to be locked away in a scary small place."

I tried to struggle free, but the maid's grip was to strong and she started to pull me towards her. I tried to bury my nails into the ground, but to no avail.

"No… I don't want to… please… let… me… go!"

I started to lose my sanity, I grabbed the knife that I hided and started to attack the maid. After a while she crumbled like stones (5).

"I… I… SOMEONE GET ME OUT OF HEEEEEERREEEEEE!"

**Normal POV**

The storage room where Nietono no Shana was stored started to tremble and the light was getting very bright. Suddenly a figure that was wearing a samurai outfit and a one eyed Oni(6) mask appeared from the nodachi.

"… Madas."

The warrior is no other than Tenmokku Ikko, he's known as the worst Mystes in the world; being famous for having killed many Tomogara heartlessly and also Fi's twin except he's much more useful than Fi.

Outside the storage room a few Tomogara, who were patrolling heard the noise that was coming from it.

"Did that noise came from the storage room?"

"No one is supposed to go in there, except for out commander. I guess we'll have to check it out"

Two Tomogara went into the room to check the source of the strange noise. A few seconds after they disappeared into the room, blood started to come out of the room and the door was sliced in half. Tenmokku Ikko appeared not long after.

"OH MY GOD! IT'S Tenmokku Ikko! RUN FOR YOUR LIVES EVERYONE! GYAAAAAAAAAA!"

* * *

><p>Meanwhile Shana is slowly trying to find a way to get out and to find her nodachi.<p>

"Where is it? Where is Nietono no Shana?"

* * *

><p>Back at Tenmokku Ikko; more and more Tomogara are getting killed, making the nodachi stronger and stronger, Yup Nietono no Shana is a nodachi that absorbs the blood and despair of its victims and by doing that it will also gain more power only a few are capable enough to handle it, the others will be consumed by the nodachi. No one can escape the ones who tries were slaughtered in seconds.<p>

**Fecor's POV**

I was busy with drying myself of, I finished my swimming party with Decarabia and I have to admit I really needed that I feel so much better and less grumpy after this is over I'll make an hospital appointment there won't be a chance that I'll have to cancel that for Bal Masqué when the Grand Order is finished.

*pant pant* "Grzzzlslz."

"…? What was that noise? It must have been my imagination."

I started to put on my clothes while I was humming one of my favorite songs; Light my fire by KOTOKO. I really love it it's so lively it's so awesome. As I was humming I started to feel chills down my spine for some reason. After a few minutes I started to feel like there was a presence behind me.

"Uhm Decarabia? Is there something you need?"

I turned around to face the one who was behind me…!

* * *

><p>A: Since Fecor is in shock now I'll take over from here; So Fecor turned around and saw Tenmokku Ikko. Before he got sliced by the monster Mystes, he started to scream like a six year old girl and fainted.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Rebecca's POV<strong>

I looked up into the sky and noticed that the Lego blocks that were blocking that fucking gate were starting to dissolve and fall.

"Yaaay the Lego blocks are falling I wanna catch them nee-chan. Come here Lego blocks, so I can play with you."

The brat was running from one place to the other in attempt to catch the falling toys and some Tomogara's got crushed in the process. Hahaha that really looks funny I should film it and post it on YouTube.

"So his health and age finally got to him and he isn't even able to use his powers anymore. I am sorry Khamsin, but I guess you won't be able to play with Rantei Fecor."

"Why daddy?"

"Because his age and health are affecting him, I guess this is what you get if you cancel every hospital appointment."

"HAHAHAHAAHHAHAHA! OMG HAHAHAHA!"

I couldn't keep in my laugher anymore that was too hilarious that fucking old man is finally close to dying and he's a Guze no Ou hahahaha. Bal Masqué needs to get some useful bitches if they want to get stronger instead of weaker hahahaha! I noticed the kitty staring with horror at the falling blocks.

"NOOOOO –Nya! Fecor-sama is … –Nya! But that's impossible –Nya!"

"Khamsin Nbh'W now is your chance! Destroy the barrier so you'll get maximum points in this game!"

"Okay daddy. FALCON PUNCH!"

The brats attack immediately hit the sky and cracks were appearing, making the shitty starry scenery disappear and making place for sunny scenery.

**Shana's POV**

I looked around the corridor as I was hearing more rumbling. What's going on up there? A silhouette started to come my way and I noticed that it was Tenmokku Ikko and he has my nodachi!

"Madas mizz escundou esdito oshausido no esushou."

"…" I never understood what he's saying or how he's able to communicate with others, but at least unlike Fi he is useful and does something that actually helps.

"Tenmokku Ikko I command you to undo the Hougu Tartaros!"

"… Madas."

He lifted the sword and destroyed the Hougu in one blow. The moment Tartaros was gone I felt like my powers were returning, my injuries didn't hurt that much anymore and I can move freely again. Tenmokku Ikko kneeled before me and presented me Nietono no Shana. I took the nodachi and he disappeared into the sword.

"Yup definitely much more useful than Fi and unlike Fi he isn't annoying."

My hair and eyes started to take the color of fire again and I made my way to the upper levels.

"Don't worry my melon pan; I'm on my way to get you and my other treasures that I left behind in my room too."

* * *

><p>(1) A nodachi is a long katana.<p>

(2) Rebecca is doing the dance Hatsune Miku dances in Nyan cat song. Look it up in YouTube.

(3) Check Tvtropes site for a good explanation.

(4) In Japan it's said that when you sneeze once some is thinking or talking about you and when they're talking bad things about you, you sneeze twice,

(5) The maids are Rinne, those are like servants who are created by a Tomogara or Guze no Ou. So if you stab them they won't bleed.

(6) An Oni is a Japanese demon or ogre.

Me: That was chapter 9 guys. Fast wasn't it?

Fecor: I really wonder what's going on in that head of yours.

Me: Hahaha good question, because I am wondering the same thing.

Rebecca: No normal person would be able to come up with chapters so fast.

Me: Thank you Rebecca that was sweet.

Fecor: So when will you stop with ridiculing us?

Me: Lol well since you're asking so nicely… never.

Fecor: And you're surprised that most of the cast here hates you?

Me: Not really, but I decided that I don't care anymore the story is more important.

Fecor: You demon.

Me: Thanks for reading guys and see you the next time and don't forget to leave a review.


	12. The demon arrives

Welcome readers to chapter ten of my fanfic. Thank you very much for all your reviews and of course for reading the story. This one took me longer to write since there was so much that I wanted to add to this chapter and I wasn't able to find a way how to do it, but at least its finished.

Stolas: Took some time didn't it?

Me: Have you seen how long this chapter is?

Stolas: Yeah and I am shocked most of your chapters are like eleven pages long.

Me: I just got too many ideas for this story even the draft was longer than normal.

Ribersal: You must be proud of yourself.

Me: yeah I am okay enough talk time to start this story! Purson your turn.

Purson: xxxDreamingflowerxxx doesn't own Shakugan no Shana or else she'll make it much longer.

Me: Yeah I'd definitely do that XD.

* * *

><p>Chapter 10: The demon arrives<p>

**Yuji's POV**

I have no idea how long it's been, but we've been running for a long time now. I can't believe Dantalion made such a big mistake… or maybe I do since he's insane.

"Dantalion isn't there anything you can do to fix this?"

"MAAAAAAAYYYYYBBEEEE IIIIIF YYYOOOOOOUUUUU GAAAAAVEEEE MEEE MOOOOORE GUUUUIIIIINEEEEAAAAA PIIIIIIIGSS I'D TRYYYYYY TO FIIIIIIIIX THIIIIIS!"

"But I never gave you guinea pigs to begin with you make deals with them or experiment on them when they're asleep!"

"THEEEEEN THEE DEEEEEAAAAAl IS OFF!"

"… What deal? We never had a deal to begin with!"

"YOOOOOUUUUU SHOOOOUUULD MAAAAAAKEEE OOOOONEEEEE THEEEEEN!"

"…. Fine I give you Sydonay and Rofocale to experiment with them."

"YAAAAAAYYY!"

"So you're going to find a way to make this path stable now?"

"NOOOOOO THIIIIIIS IS TOOOOOOO MUUUUCH FUUUUUUUNNN!"

"… Good thing that I only promised to give Rofocale and Sydonay, thought I like Sydonay more than Rofocale."

"~ But I am part timing for Bal Masqué I don't think my full time boss would love it."

"HAHAHAHAHAHA! Don't worry Rofocale I am sure he'd love to send you to the crazy lunatic professor he'd have more fun than when I watch Shana play Kingdom Hearts 3D."

I looked surprised at Alastor; "How are you so sure about that?"

"Let's say he's an old acquaintance of mine."

Suddenly a bunch of evil-looking spirits appeared in front of us. I blinked a couple of times.

"Spirits in Mario world? So weird."

"Sakai Yuji you should know that these spirits are the materialized malicious feelings of the Flame Haze that died in the Great War. They're the ones who died because of the Shin'i no Yuite. Their anger became hate and now their spirits have been cursed in those hideous forms forever."

"How come you only seem to appear when you're giving me information that I already know and don't care about."

"The readers may be interested in this for sure and you're the type of person who wouldn't explain it since it has nothing to do with our interest."

"… You're really useless aren't you?"

"I am you remember!"

I ran past those spirits since I don't have any time to deal with them and crap they're following us.

"We're not Sophie! I am here to reclaim my other body that she sealed away!"

"Time has stopped for them they can't be reasoned with idiot!"

"I could at least try I am not going to stop and fight them that would be suicide!"

* * *

><p>A: HAHAHAHAHAHA The so called 'feared' leader of Bal Masqué is running away for some mere dead spirits who function on hate hahahahah!<p>

* * *

><p>"SHUT UP! Why can't you be useful for once? You're the author so do something to make them stop attacking us!"<p>

* * *

><p>A: I could do that, but this is much more fun; seeing you running for your life and getting chased by angry spirits. Besides you guys only talk negative about me. So why should I help?<p>

* * *

><p>"I won't insult you anymore or do anything that will anger you."<p>

* * *

><p>A: Nice try. Now if you excuse me, I'm going to continue watching this very funny and embarrassing moment. Haha one of the gods of Guze the Souzoushin running for his life what a joke hahaha! If Shana saw this Hahahaha!<p>

* * *

><p>"That's it! You're going to die!"<p>

* * *

><p>A: Go ahead and try, I'm the author of this story I have define protection against dead or injuries. Plus you can't break the 4th wall that much. Since I wrote this story you're still bind to my rules HAHAHA!<p>

* * *

><p>I guess I'll just ignore her. I wonder what my lovely wife is doing.<p>

* * *

><p>Meanwhile at Shana<p>

"My melon pan it has to be somewhere in this room. Oh here are my 3DS games and some of the manga I was reading before I got interrupted."

* * *

><p>Okay we continued running until Hecate stopped for some reason and turned around.<p>

"Hecate what are you…?"

The priestess suddently took out a gun a shot Sydonay. -_- "He'll be the sacrifice so we can continue."

"Ack!"

I watched as Sydonay fell on the ground.

"…" WHAT THE …? SHE JUST SHOT HIM! Well it looked funny, but he's still one of the Trinity. I guess I have no more time to stand still and help Sydonay, my life is more important than his.

"Guys just leave Sydonay there, he'll come back when he wants to. We need to worry more about the path that's crumbling!"

"I don't think it's that bad, that happens a lot in video games."

"Alastor, when will you ever think about anything else except video games?"

"EEEEEEEXCELEEEEENT MYYYYY EEEEXXPEEEERIIIMEEEEEEENT IIIIIS EEEVEEEN MOOOOOORE SUUUUUURPRIIIIIISIIING THAAAT I THOOOOOUUUUGHT! IT'S AAAAMAAAAAZIIIIING THE UUUUUNSTAAAABIIIILIIIITYYYY IN HEEEREEE IS EEEEVEEN BEEEETEER THAAAAN I THOOOOOOUUUUGHT! IIII WOOOOONDEEEEER WHAAAAAAAT WIIIIIIIIIL HAAAAAPEEEEEN WHEEEEEN IIIII BLOOOOOOW EEEEEVEEEERYYYYYTHIIIIING UUUUUP!"

"… What the hell is wrong with you? Domino, take that crazy professor with you before I feel like killing him and you can also drag Rofocale with you."

"Uhm, if you say it commander."

"~Falling paths running around

Let's make sure we won't be found

For every effort there's a price

Come on everyone it's time to feel that rise

My heart is starting to beat up

My dear children I'll let you have all a cup of

LOVE let's feel it together here and forever

Don't run away let's all embrace it

LOVE it's the best feeling that there is

Ah I want to give more than a kiss

So please let me take your virginity~"

I took Rofocale's instrument and stuffed it in his mouth, then I shove Rofocale to Domino. "Now… Domino… take them… before… I loose myself…"

The small Rinne took a screaming Dantalion and an annoying Rofocale with him as he sped up. At least I won't be troubled by those two for a while.

"I am getting annoyed here, I haven't got any food since we entered this place and the only thing we've done is running for our lives. I want my, eat whatever I can buffet!" Bel Peol complained.

"HEEECAAAATEEEEE-CHAAAAAN! I AM HERE TO RESCUE YOUUUUU!"

Hecate looked up surprised when Sydonay suddenly tried to jump on her. -_- "How the hell were you able to survive my shot and the hate of the wicked Flame Haze spirits?"

"My love for you can beat everything, except for the commander, the demon Flame Haze and the princess."

-_- "... FUCK!"

**Decarabia's POV**

… I have… a POV? OMG what good have I done to deserve this honor? My tears started to fall out of joy.

"OMG THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIVE, THANKS A LOT AUTHOR YOU'RE THE BEST SMARTEST AND PRETTIEST AUTHOR THAT EXISTS!"

* * *

><p>A: Flattery won't work on me, but thanks now get the hell on with this story!"<p>

* * *

><p>"I swim swim and swim in my awesome swimming pool. It's smart that I decided to stay here save from the attacks. Let's hope that the Kishaku no Makite and the Gisō no Karite won't find my super awesome pool and destroy it. It's a good thing I decided to stay here, it's not like they need my help in the first place."<p>

I took out my laptop and checked the situation of the attacks with my webcam.

* * *

><p>A: WTF Bal Masqué has a webcam?<p>

* * *

><p>"We have also a cinema, disco; where I party most of the time, you know the bar already, our commander has a private swimming pool and we also have a place for ice skating… not that a lot of the members use it since ice skating is only for gays and sissies. I did spot Sydonay ice skating once. I even made a picture of it so that I can black mail him when I have the chance."<p>

I looked at the image the webcam was filming and I felt my face turning pale after I saw all the debris that the two Flame Haze had caused.

"WTF! Those two are real monsters! I'll hope the commander and the trinity will hurry."

I need to be careful and observe very well for some reason I am getting this horrible feeling that something terrible may happen in the near future.

**Shana's POV **

Yay I finally gathered everything after a 3 hour long search I feel so happy now I can get out of here before grams arrives. I ran outside and after a few minutes I arrived in a big room.

"Isn't this the room where Yuji and I had our wedding?"

I looked around the room it's really big, like the rest of Seireiden.

"What are you doing in a place like this without your maids' princess?"

"Kyaaa! Uh oh it's only a camel." He nearly gave me a heart attack. Do all Tomogara love to sneak up on people?

"I am a dromedary not a camel. How many times do I have to say this to people? Even Ranten Fecor keeps calling me a camel."

I can't blame him for thinking that he looks more like a camel to me.

"I don't see any difference between those two."

"I am the Tomogara Uvall."

"Are you a girl or a boy?"

"WHAT?"

"You said wataskushi instead of ore or boku." (1)

"YOU LITTLE…! I don't have time for you go back to your room or the commander will be worried when he gets back, I need to continue to search for intruders!"

"OH NOOOO, GRAMPS ARRIVED ALREADY! NOOO I DON"T WANNA DIE NOOOOO!"

After a few minutes I stabbed Uvall with my nodachi and stared how much blood came out of his dead body.

"He… he's… dead… and… all… that… blood… !"

**Wilhelmina's POV**

I kept running, while listening to some awesome espionage background music. –De arimasu.

"The song is very cool and awesome. –De arimasuka."

"Catchy." Tiamat commented.

I entered a very big room. –De arimasu. I saw some kind of throne at the back of the room and a giant painting of Shana.

"I want to kill that Mystes. –De arimasu."

"Boiling rage."

"…! Is that…? The Haridan? –De arimasu. So the Mystes took it and brought it here, but why? –De arimasuka."

"Unexpected."

"Could you please leave that Hougu where it is?"

I turned around and spotted a white pigeon sitting on a pillar.

"Rasen no Fūkin Leanan-sidhe it's been a very long time."

"It has been a long time indeed, but this is no place to continue our talk could you please follow the pigeon. We'll talk when you have arrived at the place where I am waiting."

"–De arimasuka?"

**Khamsin's POV **

"Owww people are staring at me!"

"Those are the readers Khamsin."

"Oww heey readers you wanna join with my game?"

"Khamsin Nbh'w, don't mess with the 4th wall any longer."

"Yes daddy."

I love you readers. If you could visit me we can play with my ponies, cars, eat pie, play hide and seek, play with my barbies, games, eat cake, play with humans. Sadly most of them stop moving after I finished playing. Kinda like with the Tomogara toys here, but at least the humans don't disappear. There's another walking toy!

"Come here toy I want to play with you!"

"Gyaaaaaaa! Someone save me!"

"Huh? Another toy disappeared again after I started playing with it. Maybe I need to complain to the factory man to give me toys of better quality.

"Khamsin Nbh'w! How many times do I have to tell you to be careful! Do you want the tragedy of a thousand years ago repeat itself? Promise me you won't go too far!"

"I'll promise for you, daddy. Stone Edge!"

**Rebecca's POV**

Welcome back my beloved bitches. So I am still fighting that fucking kitty, seriously he refuses to die.

"YOU'RE GOING TO PAY FOR INSULTING ME! NYA!"

"Nyannyan nyannyannaynnayan nyannyan nyannyannyannyannyan! Sorry I only speak kitty! Nya."

I started to move my arms like that of a cat again.

"YOU BITCH! Nya DIEEEEE! Nya!"

He started to attack, but he was so angry with me, that he didn't focus at aiming and ended up missing! HAHAAHAHAHAHA! Man animals are really dumb.

"! Hyper Voice!"

What's it with Pokémon attack these days are they the new trend or something? I evade that attack too.

"What's wrong kitty nya you want to see another dance?"

I stopped running and took a different pose suddenly the sound of squishing dolls is played. I started to move my hips and made more kitty movement.

"*squish squish squish* Nya! *squish squish squish* Nya!" and I went on like that.

"! STOP IT IT"S MEAN MEAN MEAN MEAN! NYA! I AM A TOMOGARA NOT A KITTEN! NYA! WHY IS NO ONE TAKING ME SERIOUSLY! NYA! EVEN THE COMMANDER STARTED THROWING A BALL OF WOOL AT ME! NYA!"

**Wilhelmina's POV**

After following the pigeon I entered another big room, where I found a holographic map of Seireiden.

"I wonder where Lamies is. –De arimasu."

I spotted Lamies against one of the walls smilling at me.

"Banjō no Shite and Mugen no Kantai how have you been?"

"Give me one reason why I shouldn't kill you for attending that wedding without stopping the Mystes. –De arimasuka."

"It's not my business to meddle with the affairs of others and I don't have that many chances to attend such special occasions. The wedding was fun by the way and ended a lot better than the other wedding I went. You must have remembered that day too."

"The bloodbath wedding. –De arimasu. I guess it's a good thing that this time there weren't victims. Good thing that she didn't end up like her mother. –De arimasuka."

"Relieved."

"Well about that I'm not so sure… but let's skip those details, since you didn't come here to talk about the old times."

"What is your reason for helping that annoying Mystes?"

"Explanation required."

"They promised me some very rare art pieces if I coöperate with them and if you damage one of the pieces I received from them, you won't get away unpunished even if you're an old friend of mine. But if you coöperate with me I am willing to make a deal with you."

"Well I am open for deals and I don't really care if you're working with Bal Masqué. –De arimasu. It's your live not mine you can do whatever you want, except for helping the Mystes with his love live."

"Take this with you it might come in handy for later. You never know what might happen in the future."

"Thanks a lot. –De arimasu. So, how is she? Is she fine? Has she been treated well? –De arimasuka. She wasn't forced into things she didn't want to right? Please tell me he didn't abuse her more. –De arimasu!"

"Uhm well of course she's been treated fine now if you excuse me I have to leave if you go to the door I am sure you'll be able to meet up with the Enpatsu Shakugan no Uchite."

He turned around and walked quickly out of the room. –De arimasu. I could swear I heard him running the moment he left the room.

"…! Going… to… kill… that… Mystes… or… torture… him… to… death. –De… arimasu…"

"Mental torture."

**Shana's POV**

I kept staring at the blood, by that time Uvall was already absorbed by my nodachi.

"All… the… blood…"

I was too distracted with the blood that I didn't sense a presence approaching.

"? What, Ninjas? In Seireiden?"

Before I could gather my thought again, my body moved on its own and sliced all the ninjas in the room. The ninjas dropped dead and disappeared inside my nodachi.

"Ahhh! What… have I…?"

Before I could finished my sentence a bunch of samurai appeared in front of me…

"NOOOO LEAVE ME ALONE!"

I started to slaughter all the samurai I could spot, even thought there were like hundreds of them. Every one that came to close to me got slaughtered and absorbed into my nodachi. Blood was flying everywhere. After hours of slaughter and killing I was finally able to calm down.

"*Pant pant pant* I *pant finally *pant* have…? The… blood… it's... everywhere…"

And now a bunch of judo masters appeared… why won't they leave me alone?

I also started to slaughter them immediately, but the second I finished sumo wrestlers appeared.

"…! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

><p>A few hours later.<p>

The whole room was covered in blood and the smell of blood is also very strong. For some reason my head started to hurt. I looked at my hands.

"! Blood… my body is completely covered in blood!"

I checked my nodachi , the blade was completely red and I felt an ominous aura emitting from it. My head started to become hazy and the only thing that my brain could register was the smell of blood.

"Ah why does it smell so delicious? I… want to see more blood… heheheh."

**Decarabia's POV**

"~California girls, we're unforgettable

Daisy dukes, bikinis on top!

Sunkissed skin

So hot we'll melt your popsicle

Oh oh oh ohhhhhhh!  
>California girls, we're undeniable<p>

Fine, fresh, fierce,We got it on lock

West coast represent

Now put your hands up

Oh oh oh ohhhhhhh!~"

I love this song Katy Perry knows how to make awesome party songs yeah shake that ass! C'mon baby! Why are the readers staring at me so weird? You also wanna join? Or are you guys expecting me to do something? Well Sorry, but Bal Masqué is already under attack and I am a fish what could a fish do?

"Wait? What if this is part of the Shin'i no Yuite's plan? Using those two as a distraction while she's on her way for a surprise attack? CRAP I GOTTA CALL FOR BACK UP!"

I immediately grabbed my Black Berry.

* * *

><p>A: WFT EVEN BLACK BERRY HOW THE HELL IS BAL MASQUÉ ABLE TO HAVE SUCH MODERN TECHNOLOGY?"<p>

* * *

><p>"Well our leader lived in the human world and we're in the 21st century so we need to adapt, plus all that technology is awesome you wanna see my iPod touch or iMac?"<p>

* * *

><p>A: No thanks I have an iPod of my own and I can enjoy myself on my laptop<p>

* * *

><p>"Okay suit yourself then."<p>

I dialed a number and Ribersal and Haborym answered.

"Is there something wrong?"

"GET YOUR ASSES BACK AT SEIREIDEN! WE MAY GET A SURPRISE ATTACK FROM THE SHIN'I NO YUITE, SOPHIE SAWALLISCH! SHE CAN ARRIVE ANY MOMENT!"

I hung up the phone and started at the webcam.

"I hope they'll arrive soon."

~Last Friday night  
>Yeah we danced on tabletops<br>And we took too many shots  
>Think we kissed but I forgot<p>

Last Friday Night~

OMG MY FAVOURITE KATY PERRY SONG! YAAAY!

**Sophie's POV **

I was eating some aircraft food and god this is fucking disgusting I don't know if I prefer to eat this the my granddaughters cooking, I think this is a little bit better. I looked behind me and saw all the Flame Haze gathered in a corner shivering in fear with their Guze no Ou. HAHAHAHAHA suits them those useless motherfuckers! Look at how those artifacts of them are also shivering! HAHAHAHAHAHHA! *sound of thunder*…? For some reason I heard thunder while I started to laugh and the Flame Haze and Guze no Ou started to shiver more.

"YOU FUCKING PILOTS START FLYING FASTER! THIS IS TURTLE SPEED, STOP BEING SO FUCKING SLOW!"

"P-p-p-please Sophie Sawalisch-sama h-have mercy on us we- we're only humans."

"I HATE HUMANS MORE THAN THOSE USELESS FLAME HAZE AND TOMOGARA! YOU'RE EVEN MORE USELESS THAN ALL THE FLAME HAZE TOGETHER!"

I saw the pilots freeze and fear and stare at the emergency exit.

"If you think about committing suicide I'll make sure that your families will receive a package with your heads in it!"

The pilots started to tremble even worse that those useless bunch of shit behind me.

"WAAAHAAAAA!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!" *Sound of thunder*

… Why do I keep hearing that?

When I walked back to my seat I saw some Flame Haze lost their conscience. Hmpf, bunch of pussies. I walked up to them and kicked them awake.

"YOU FUCKING BITCHES WHO TOLD YOU THAT YOU COULD SLEEP WHILE WE HAVEN'T EVEN DESTROYED BAL MASQUÉ! GET UP NOW THIS INSTANCE OR I'LL RIP YOUR EYES OUT SO YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO CLOSE THEM!"

I turned around to François and his Guze no Ou, Grogach, who were close to fainting. He was hugging his artifact tightly.

"If you close your eyes I'll sell your body to the first pimp or slut I can find and before that I'll cut of your balls and glue some fake balls or tits on your empty spot!"

"AHHHHH!"

I saw him trying to jump of the plane only to get stopped by the other Flame Haze.

"Don't be stupid François Auric! If you try to suicide something worse than death will happen to you."

"HAHAHAH My dear Centerhill not only something bad will happen to him, but also everyone else who's in the aircraft! HAHAHAHAH!"

All the Flame Haze looked at each other and immediately tried to run desperately into the toilet.

"Let me go! I am one of the Daichi no Shishin! My live and Tlaloc's, are worth more than all of your lives!"

"But Sophie-sama has haunted me and Grogach for our whole lives I can't get all the rape scenes out of my head! My life is destroyed!"

"She called me and Zirnitra useless all the time I get her insults every day I lost my dignity, my will to live and my motivation in live. I became worthless!"

And so their bickering and fight for the toilet kept on until they stuffed themselves into the toilet all together and locked the door. I can't believe I'm stuck with these fools.

"HAHAHAHAHAH!" *sound of thunder*Again that thunder where does it come from?

"*Sign* Sophie Sawallisch-kun we've arrived at our destination."

"Oh really Takemikazuchi? Good thing that you're at least useful. Despite the fact, that you don't talk much."

"And I wonder why that is."

"OKAY YOU FUCKING CHICKS WE'VE ARRIVE, GET OUT OF YOUR FUCKING USELESS HIDING PLACE!"

I pulled the door off, took the artifacts of the Flame Haze and threw them out of the airplane then I kicked all the Flame Haze and the human pilots out of the aircraft.

"GYAAAAAAAAAA!"

"HAHAHAHAHA!"

I kept laughing and staring at their scared, crying and screaming faces while they fell. Even the Guze no Ou were crying.

"Sophie Sawallisch-kun you forgot to give them a parachute and why did you threw the humans out they have nothing to do with the war?"

"Who cares, it's not like they be missed if they die and Flame Haze can easily survive such a fall plus most of them are supposed to be able to fly. Not that I care if they end up injured."

"I think the pilots have a family and the Flame Haze are too afraid to think of the possibility that they can fly."

"Sucks to be them then. Now it's time to kick some asses BANZAIIII!"

**Rebecca's POV**

"NYANYA NYA NYA NYA NYA! Come here kitty I have some milk and fish for you!"

"URUSAI URUSAI URUSAI URUSAI URUSAI! STOP TAUNTING ME!"

Again he tried to attack me but for the millionth time missed.

"Hahaha can't you do better than that... Oof!"

I wasn't able to notice that last attack on time and I wasn't able to evade it. God I have to admit that fucking kitten scratches very hard.

"GYAAAA!"

"Huh what's that fucking sound?"

The kitten and I looked up and we saw… FLAME HAZE FALLING FROM THE SKY? THEY EVEN SEEM TO BE IN TROUBLE! Crap that old bitch has arrived. I looked again at the sky and I noticed shiny things falling too… Aren't those the artifacts that belong to Flame Haze to communicate with their Guze no Ou? What the hell has that old bitch done to them?

"CRAP WHAT DO I DO WHAT DO I DO? THE DEMON HAS ARRIVED AND WE HAVEN'T EVEN FOUND NIETONO NO!"

"...? THE SHIN'I NO YUITE HAS ARRIVED? NYA? OH SHIT SHIT SHIT! NYA! AND OUR COMMANDER HASN'T EVEN RETURNED NYA!"

I saw the evil bitch skydiving with an evil grin on her face.

"FUCK WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE AND FIND A HIDING PLACE! GOSH YOUR COMMANDER IS SO USELESS WHERE IS HE WHEN YOU NEED HIM?"

* * *

><p>At Decarabia<p>

"CRAP SHE'S HERE WHAT TO DO WHAT TO DO? AND THE REINFORCEMENTS HAVEN'T ARRIVED YET! I think it's better for me to stay in the pool until she leaves. I am too young to die or to get a traumatic experience."

* * *

><p>Suddenly Seireiden's gravity barrier started to act up and the enormous Hougu started to fall on the ground.<p>

"Crap this is my only chance! Nya! Say goodbye to the world Nya!"

I closed my eyes but a strange light started to emit from the fucking kitten.

"What no, this can't be! NYAAAAAA!"

When I opened my eyes I saw that Purson was gone and in place there was a very cute and small kitten. I guess that's what you get for being the Tantankyūkyū's guinea pig.

"Nya!"

"OMG YOU'RE SO FUCKING CUTE! I AM GOING TO KEEP YOU AND CALL YOU NEKO-CHAN!"

"Nya!"

**Normal POV**

The falling Flame Haze and Guze no Ou finally landed on the ground painfully and Sophie landed on top of them without a scratch.

"HAHAHAHA! That was a successful landing. SAMUEL DON'T LIE THERE LIKE SOME LITTLE GIRL AND START MAKING A FORT!"

"But Sophie Sawallisch-sama I don't know any restricted spells that can create one."

"THEN USE YOUR BLOODY HANDS BITCH! I WANT A FORT THAT'S BIGGER THAN SEIREIDEN!"

"Bu- but that will take ages!"

"NOT IF ALL THE OTHER USELESS FLAME HAZE JOIN IN BUILDING! BTW WHERE ARE THOSE USELESS HUMAN PILOTS?"

"They died when they fell, first they got a heart attack and when their bodies hit the ground all their organs where flying everywhere."

I looked at the small pile and blood and some bones and organs that were lying not far from us.

"And this is why I hate humans they're so weak and useless!"

* * *

><p>A: After a few hours of off screen painful carrying, dragging and building. The fort was finally completed oh and if you wanna know why it's off-screen well not only because it'll take too long, but also because it was worse that Egyptian slaved building a pyramid and of course more traumatizing.<p>

* * *

><p>"I'm tired!"<p>

"My feet hurt!"

"I can't feel my hands!"

"I wanna drink something!"

"I stink so much!"

"Where's my Guze no Ou?"

"My clothes are totally ruined!"

"We look like Egyptian slaves!"

"QUIT COMPLAINING YOU FUCKING FOOLS AND START ATTACKING ALREADY!"

**Wilhelmina's POV**

"… ? This sound... –De arimasu. It's the sound of tortured Flame Haze. –De arimasu."

"Danger arrived."

"Oh no and I still haven't found Shana. –De arimasuka."

"Need to hurry our search."

I ran out of the room walking through a very long corridor. –De arimasu.

"I'll hope I'll be able to find her soon. –De arimasen."

**Shana's POV**

"HELP SOMEONE! THE PRINCESS HAS GONE MAD! GYAAAA!"

"Blood… need… to… see… more blood… heheheh."

Every Tomogara that I encountered got slashed by me in seconds. Their blood spurting everywhere and my nodachi got stronger and stronger.

"Why running away? Don't you want to be part of something powerful?"

"Please princess try to get your thoughts together this is madness this is cruel! Please spare us!"

"I love the taste and smell of blood especially when my victims are scared to death heheheh. My power is becoming greater ever second and I want more blood MORE! Heheheheh!"

I licked the blood that was on my sword and the Tomogara started screaming and tried to run away.

"Running is useless I'll find you anyway heheheh."

I walked slowly toward the Tomogara and sliced them in half.

"I wonder how the Trinity's blood will taste heheheheh."

After a while fire started emitting from my body and in a few seconds the whole room was on fire. No Tomogara was able to escape me and I slaughtered the ones that were able to last this long. I watched how they started to burn and disappear into my nodachi.

"More power heheheh… HAHAHAHAHA!"

The building wasn't able to handle the power I was emitting and it started to crumble. I noticed Wilhelmina, the kid Khamsin-chan and Wilhelmina's good friend I forgot her name I think it was Kishaku no Makite_,_ Rebecca Reed. They ran towards me until I saw Wilhelmina and the Kishaku no Makite's faces turn pale and stopped running, except for Khamsin who kept running towards me and hugged me.

"NEEE-CHAAAAN! I'm happy to see you again nee-chan! I played a lot of fun games with the Tomogara toys where's the nii-chan that wants to touch you all the time?"

-_- "…?"

"We have no time for that. –De arimasu. The Shin'i no Yuite, Sophie Sawallisch has arrived so we need to make haste."

I turned pale and all of a sudden my blood lust was gone and for some reason I can't remember what happened after I met that camel Uvall.

"…? … WHAAAAATT? OH NO WE NEED TO LEAVE WE NEED TO GET OUT OF HERE SHE WANTS MY HEAD! WE NEED TO FIND AN ESCAPE ROUTE FAST!"

"Ohh seems like Nietono no is back to normal. Thank goodness I thought she was going to chop of our heads and feed us to her sword."

"… What?"

**Yuji's POV**

"Yes we made it out alive! I really hated the running for our lives part it's so embarrassing."

We arrived at a very big room, which has an enormous door in the back and on the door where some symbols and a big yellow eye. I looked behind me and saw Sabrac, Bel Peol and Sydonay panting and trying to catch their breaths.

"Co- *pant* Commander *pant* how come *pant* you're *pant* not tired at all *pant*?"

"I am a god remember. I don't get tired that fast."

"I *pant* need *pant* something to eat *pant pant*"

"Wow this room looks like a final boss room like from the Zelda or Kingdom Heart games. I wonder if we'll need to fight a boss here. Has anyone got a boss key?"

"YOU IDIOT! MY BODY IS SEALED IN THERE! THERE WON'T BE A FINAL BOSS BATTLE THIS IS NOT A VIDEO GAME!"

"So do we have to fight your snake body?"

"… I wonder who's the bigger idiot you or Sakai Yuji."

I guess I'll just ignore those two. My alter ego can be really cranky and Alastor only talks about video games. There's no way to reason with them.

"Okay guys hurry up and resurrect my second body. The sooner we're done here, the sooner I can go back to my lovely Shana."

"Yes commander."

Bel Peol took out a diary and started to read it out loud; "Tuna, candy worms, spaghetti, sashimi, union soup, caviar, hamburger, pizza, chicken nuggets, fries, paella, ramen, chili con carne, mizuame, shushi, ice cream, croissant, sandwich, ravioli, wok, cassoulet, foie gras, avgolemono, magiritsa,(2) snake eggs and Voldemort!"

"BEL PEOL WHAT DID I SAY ABOUT INSULTING ME!"

"I'm sorry commander, but I couldn't find any snake dishes."

"… You want to be locked away without food for a month?"

"NO PLEASE I AM SORRY COMMANDER I WON'T DO IT ANYMORE!"

Hecate was staring at her iPad2 for a while and looked up.

-_- "I tried to look for some snake dished, but I only found out how they reproduce and commander I have to admit you do it in an awkward way."

"SHUT UP! YOU WANT TO BE LOCKED UP WITH SYDONAY FOR REST OF THE MONTH?"

-_- "Please forgive me commander. I won't do it anymore." She begged while kneeling in front of Yuji.

"Now continue!"

"Now eye come back to me!"

The eye on the door started to glow and was sent to Bel Peol. The eye patch disappeared and got replaced by her eye.

"Yaay I got my eye back! Finally after all those years I can enjoy food more than I already can!"

Hecate took out her Hougu Trigon she shook it a few times and some letters started to appear. She shuffled the words until a phrase came out.

"Offer Voldemort's blood to hell and let the path to the imprisoned open."

… What kind of spell is that? It sound like we're working on voodoo and Leraije isn't even here.

"Uhm commander?"

"What is it Sabrac?"

"I kinda need to pee, you know where the toilet is."

"THHHAAAAAAT IIIIIIS IIIMPOOOOOSIIIBLLEEE! THIIIS DIIIMEEEENTIIIIOOOON OOOONLYYY HAAAAS A LAAADIIIIEEESSS TOOOOIIIILEEEEET!"

"What? Why is there only a ladies toilet and not one for men?"

"I'm not sure, but according to what I've heard is that a lot of terrible incidents happened in the lady's toilet and lots a death too so the Flame Haze banished it to this dimension, in case bad things will happen if they kept it in the human world."

"And they decided to place it near the seal where the second body of the Souzoushin rests?"

"I don't think the Flame Haze cared about that. They just threw it somewhere here and it ended up near the sealing place."

"Thanks for the info Domino, since there aren't any women here, it wouldn't hurt if I go to the women toilet."

A few seconds after Sabrac entered the women's toilet screams of women were heard and Sabrac came out running away with toilet paper sticking out of his pants.

"Okay I wasn't taking in account that the spirits of the dead girls would roam in there."

The whole room started to shake and the door slowly opened.

Sydonay started to shiver and hid himself behind my back. "OMG WE HAVE TO RUN VOLDEMORT MAY COME AND, AND SEND HIS SNAKE TO KILL US! OUCH!"

I gave Sydonay a smack on the head. "Sydonay are you an idiot? Remember that my body lies there and Voldemort is a fictional character! I should have never let you watch Harry Potter and the chamber of secrets."

The door was opening and a giant Black snake with a red face appeared. It lowered its head.

"Guys our job here is done let's get out of this place."

"~The best way to calm them down

Is to have them their round

A rollercoaster may be hard

But we have to make sure we won't fall apart

Showing your love in a roller coaster ride

Is something that might excite you

As long as I can feel you here

There's nothing that I can fear~"

… I grabbed Domino and threw him to his head.

"~ouch!~"

"You keep on like that and you'll fear that I might throw you off my body if you keep singing."

"~Sad face.~"

* * *

><p>A:Pff Hahahaha! That sounds so wrong hahahahah!<p>

* * *

><p>"Shut up you know what I mean with it so stop make it sound so dirty."<p>

* * *

><p>A: Heheheh if you want snake boy, but make sure you'll get you tail in check hahahaha! (3)<p>

* * *

><p>… She's so annoying always makes fun of everyone remarks.<p>

"Okay now it's time to go and start the last step of your plan!"

The snake body started to move and I was on stop of it with a victorious pose. Don't worry my darling Shana. Your husband will be back soon.

* * *

><p>Victim list:<p>

Purson – transformed into a kitten

Urvall – absorbed into Nietono no Shana

Other victims of Shana and Tenmoku Ikko – absorbed into Nietono no Shana

Ninjas – absorbed into Nietno no Shana

Samurai – absorbed into Nietono no Shana

Judo masters – absorbed into Nietono no Shana

Sumo wrestlers – absorbed into Nietono no Shana

* * *

><p>(1) In Japan boys mostly use boku or ore. Girls mostly use watashi or watakushi (which is a more polite form of ore).<p>

(2) I am sure some words are unfamiliar with the readers, those are dishes from different countries. We all know how much Bel Peol loved food.

(3) Check Wikipedia about how snake reproduce ROFL.

HOLY SHIT! NINETEEN pages? That's a new record for me and I even beat my record in words! Well I guess that explains why it took so long to write this chapter. Anyway I hope you guys enjoyed this chapter.

Shana: Seems like you added something new.

Me: Oww yeah I forgot to explain I decided to make a victim list, since a lot of Flame Haze and Tomogara will be in… crucial state or like with Uvall dead I thought it would be funny to make a list.

Ribersal: You're one heartless woman, aren't you? You even traumatized the Flame Haze army.

Me: This is for my jokes, just think about how long that list will be and trying to picture crying Flame haze and Guze no Ou really cracked me up hahaha.

Yuji: Why the hell where you insulting us like that? A Tomogara isn't an animal!

Me: I like to make jokes okay and my sis gave me that idea so go after her.

Shana: I guess it'll take some time for the next chapter.

Me: I don't know. I finished the draft for chapter 11 already so maybe I can start writing tomorrow.

Alastor: You sure you aren't a robot or android?

Me: NUUU I am a human being! Now guys till next chapter and don't forget to review.


	13. Confessions and slaughtering

xxxDreamingflowerxxx back again with a new chapter and I want to thank all the readers and reviewers. I seem to have my old speed back, but the chapter is much shorter than the last one heheh. Not that it matters since it's just as funny as the last one.

Yuji: You seem to be in very high spirits today.

Me: Yup that's because it's been almost a month ago since I made my account and started writing this story. So yeah I am very happy I have free cakes for my readers and of course you guys.

Shana: Ow yummy I love sweets!

Margery: and I love sweets with beer.

Wilhelmina: Only for this I dislike you not. –De arimasu.

Sydonay: but you were really fast weren't you.

Me: That's because of my lovely reviewers who kept complimenting me so I thought I'd reward them with the next chapter. Okay Bel Peol the disclaimer please.

Bel Peol: xxxDreamingflowerxxx doesn't own Shakugan no Shana now enjoy your chapter readers.

* * *

><p>Chapter 11: Confessions and slaughtering<p>

**Satou's POV**

I am back guys did anyone missed me? I finally made a reappearance, after four chapters and one special I am back! I walked out of the train and met up with Tanaka, who was waiting for me to pick me up.

"Good to see you back Satou we've been waiting for you."

"Hi Tanaka, I am happy to see you safe and sound and that you're also back in the story. I feel like the author has been neglecting us."

* * *

><p>A: Shut up! What do you guys have with more lines? It's annoying me. You don't hear Yuji or Shana complaining about that!<p>

* * *

><p>"That's because they're the main characters they appear in every chapter!"<p>

* * *

><p>A: Not true there were chapters were Yuji didn't appeared.<p>

* * *

><p>"In chapter 9 you gave a bit lines, but he was still in the chapter."<p>

* * *

><p>A: He didn't appear in chapter 6 now stop complaining and continue with this story.<p>

* * *

><p>"Satou we don't have time to start bickering with the author we have to go ane-san is waiting."<p>

"Fine let's go."

**Shana's POV**

We were trying to find some safe hiding place to hide from my evil grandma.

"Isn't that a giant fort? –De arimasu."

"Huh?"

I looked at the fort and on top of the fort stood my grandma with an evil grin staring at me.

"Oh fuck!"

"DON'T THINK YOU CAN HIDE FROM ME! NOW GET YOUR FUCKING ASS HERE RIGHT NOW YOU USELESS GRANDDAUGHTER!"

… I guess I have no choice if I don't go I'll have it worse than if I go. We landed on top of the fort and I closed my eyes waiting for the scolding like always.

"YOU USELESS WORTHLESS BITCH! CAN'T YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT? YOU CAN'T COOK, YOU CAN'T CLEAN A HOUSE, YOU CAN'T WRITE A PROPER LETTER, YOUR TRAINING SUCKS ASS AND YOU CAN'T EVEN FIGHT GOOD! YOU GET KIDNAPPED BY YOUR BOYFRIEND AND I AM SURE HE FUCKED YOU ENOUGH THAT YOU CAN'T EVEN REMEMBER WHAT DAY IT IS! WHAT'S WORSE IS THAT HE ISN'T EVEN DEAD! NOW GO AND BE USEFULL GO AFTER THAT FUCKING ANNOYING GOD AND SLAY HIM OR ELSE I'LL MAKE SURE ALL THE MANGA, ANIME, GAMES AND MELON PAN WILL DISSAPEAR FROM THE WHOLE WORLD!

"…! WHAT? NOOO PLEASE DON'T DO THIS TO MEE! I NOT MY TREASURES… BUT I CAN'T KILL YUJI! And if I am so useless wouldn't I be too weak to beat him?"

"STOP WITH YOUR SHITTY LAME EXCUSES YOU KNOW THAT THAT HORNY SNAKE ONLY DROPS HIS GUARD FOR YOU! NOW STOP BEING A FUCKING PUSSY AND DO SOMETHING!"

"… Fine I'll go."

"AND DON'T FORGET TO BRING YOUR SLUTTY MAID, THE PRISON BITCH AND THAT THING WITH YOU!"

God I hate her, but at least I'll be away from her for a while. So we left for the god gate as fast as we can.

"That fucking old hag is as annoying as always. God, how much I hate her! I am glad I didn't have to hear her screaming and mental torture for a while. This is worse than prison! But is this a good idea? "

"I am not sure. –De arimasu. I wanted to kill that Mystes myself, but I am not so sure now that the Shin'i no Yuite wants his head. –De arimasuka. I think a harsh punishment will be enough then at least the demon bitch won't get her way. –De arimasu. As much as I dislike the Mystes, I hate the Shin'i no Yuite much more than him. –De arimasen."

"Years of suppressed hate."

"But Wilhelmina I thought the reason you don't like that Seirei no Hebi because he married Nietono no and stole her virginity."

"… WAIT HOW DID YOU KNOW THAT?"

"It was in the wedding tape. I must say Tomogara are terrible at editing."

"… but that's not important. Thanks to my grandma's order we could get away from her at least she won't insult us in our presence and I am sure she'll be too busy with scowling and spreading fear to the other Flame Haze and the Tomogara."

"I feel sorry for those shitty Tomogara."

"By the way Rebecca what are you carrying? –De arimasu."

"Ohh you mean this fucking cute kitten? Well Purson made a deal with the Tantankyūkyū and he became his guinea pig in trade for some of his shitty gadgets. Hehe and now you see what it brings when you become his toy. He's so fucking adorable that I decided to take him as my pet."

"Nya!"

"Ohhh I wanna hold kitty and play with it! Can I? Can I? Can I? Can I? Pretty please and I also want candy!"

* * *

><p>Meanwhile at Decarabia<p>

"Crap she's here… and the enforcement haven't even arrived… what do I do? What do I do? What do I do?… I know I'll stay here and put some dance music on. HELLL YEAH SHAKE IT BABY!"

**Satou's POV**

Tanaka and I were running to my house. I saw Yoshida-san standing in front of the door for some reason.

"Welcome back Satou-san, Tanaka-san. I hope you haven't wet anything on your way haha."

"Shut up! It's not funny anymore and why are you waiting outside in the first place?"

"Well Marchosias-san and Tanaka-san were kinda bored when we had to take care of Margery, so we were playing some games and someone has to make sure Margery-san wears clean clothes right?"

"Well good luck Satou! Yoshida and I are going to the movies."

I stood there watching them run off. I turned to the door and entered my house.

"Well hello Keisaku! Good to hear, that the people are finally leaving you alone HAHAHAHAHA!"

"Marchosias-san? Why are you in the living room?"

"Well I was supposed to go with Eita and Yoshida jou-chan to the movies, but I guess they forgot about me."

A few seconds later I saw Tanaka and Yoshida-san's heads popping up.

"Oh there are you Marchosias! Sorry that we almost forgot you. Now let's go to the movies! Again, good luck Satou."

They left as soon as they came this time with the talking grimoire. I wonder how people will react if Marchosias starts talking while they're watching the movie. I went into my room and saw Margery-san in a corner in emo mode. Has she been there for months?

"I am back, Margery-san."

"…"

"I've heard about everything that happens and I am sorry that I wasn't able to come sooner, I was locked up in a room for I don't know how long. At least Rebecca-san was able to get me out of there, even though she used a very unusual method. If it wasn't for her I would be the laughing stock of the whole world for all my life."

"…"

"… Okay Margery I know that you're upset, but that's no reason to ignore me! Just tell me what's wrong!"

"… My… my… dreams… are… all… gone…"

"What?"

"…Silver… was… suppose… to… make me… rich… and… give me… the… opportunity… to… drink beer… forever… and be drunk… whenever… I want to…"

"Don't worry Margery if you want I can help you. If there's something you need… *blush* you can always ask me."

Margery-san turned around and started to look at me with a strict face.

"Did you bring the goods I commanded you to bring?"

"Uhm yeah they're here in this bag. Rebecca bought the items when I was locked up." I handed over the bag. "Is there something else you need?"

"Yeah there is. Marry me!"

"WHAT?"

"If I marry you, I can buy as much alcohol if I want and that stupid Marco won't be able to complain to me about money."

"But saying that out of the blue? Why so sudden?"

"That's… because…"

I saw a faint blush coming from her face. Is she embarrassed about something?

"The reason… I drink beer… is because… I… feel lonely sometimes. But it also tastes very good! It's my favorite drink!"

Heh for some reason I feel happy.

"It's okay Margery-san I'll be with you forever and I don't mind if you use my money for alcohol or drugs, since you've been milking me dry the moment we met."

"YAAAAY! And Satou you don't have to use honorifics anymore since we're engaged now!"

Margery started to kiss me very passionately and I swear her boobs are crushing me! Man I must be the luckiest guy on earth!

**Shana's POV**

We entered the gate and the second we were in I felt some ominous presence. I checked the surrounding.

"Is that a giant Mario? And what's with all these platforms? It looks like a video game."

"One of the seven wonders of Guze. –De arimasu."

"I see Delfino island, the planets from Mario Galazy, Mushroom kingdom, Yoshi's island and is that a race track?"

"It seems like only the karts are missing. –De arimasu."

"Mario Kart."

"Hey what are those weird looking shadow things? It looks so lame."

"Those are the spirits of the Flame haze that died in the last war Rebecca. Their hate regrets and despair are all lingering, because of the Shin'i no Yuite who let them die in agony. Their hate has manifested into these forms and how they're evil spirits. You can't reason with them because they've been consumed by their hate. They'll attack the first thing they see, may it be a Tomogara or a Flame Haze they won't be scared because of their opponents power even if they have to fight a god."

"But Behemoth, how are we able to go forward?"

"We have to make sure they won't spot us."

"I guess we have no choice let's go guys."

**Sophie's POV**

"AHAHAHAHAHAHA! TAKE THAT YOU SHITTY BAL MASQUÉ. WE ATTACK THE MOMENT YOU'D EXPCT THE LEAST AND YOUR FUCKING LEADER ISN'T EVEN HERE TO DEFEND YOU USELESS SHIT! HAHAHAHA!"

I stood at the highest place of the fort watching my surroundings; the Flame Haze army doesn't seem to move at all. They were gathered together near the fort drinking chocolate and eating.

"WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU USELESS PIECES OF TRASH DOING WE'RE IN THE MIDDLE OF A WAR?"

"But Sophie Sawallisch-sama we had to work very hard to finish that fort. We're tired, hungry, and thirsty and our bodies hurt a lot and we haven't found our Guze no Ou. yet"

"YOU'RE FUCKING FLAME HAZE FOR SHITS SAKE! YOUR BODIES SHOULD BE ABLE TO ENDURE MORE THAN JUST PILLOWS! STOP BEING A BUNCH OF FUCKING WHINERS! FUCK THEM! YOU DON'T NEED USELESS CRAP TO FIGHT! NOW GO KICK SOME ASSES IDIOTS OR DO YOU WANNA LOSE YOUR BALLS AND TITS?"

"No please Sophie Sawallisch-Sama we'll go we'll go!"

"THEN GO USELESS TRASH!"

I looked at the pile of the dead pilots. Pheh useless shitty humans worse than the Flame Haze that's why I hate that fucking race, only good for reproducing and becoming my slaves. I started to walk a bit until my foot got hit by something.

"OUCH! WHO THE FUCK PLACED HIS ARTIFACT HERE?"

"Noo wait Sophie Sawallisch-Sama it's me Tlaloc one of the Daichi no Shishin's Guze no Ou! I am looking for Cinterhill."

"YOU FUCKING IDIOT WATCH WHERE YOU'RE LYING! YOU WANT MY FOOD TO BLEED? YOU FUCKED UP OLD HAG! THIS IS MY FORT SO SCRAM, YOU PUSSY!"

I kicked him as hard as I could in the air.

"SOMEONE HEELP MEEE PLEASE! WAHAAAA!"

"Nooo Tlaloc, come back!"

So I watched how Centerhill ran after his artifact.

"HAHAHAHAHA suits you right PUSSY!"

I still saw that a lot of Flame Haze where searching for their pieces of crap.

"WHAT DID I TOLD YOU ABOUT YOUR SHIT STOP STANDING THERE AND GO!"

I kicked every Flame Haze into the battlefield and they landed with their heads in the snow. Why do I have to work with trash? …? This feeling this is… oh great fucking Bal Masqué asked forback up. I won't let that Tomogara unit reach the battle ground alive! I took out a button from my pocket and pressed it.

*KABOOM!*

An avalanche was heard a few kilometers away from the battlefield. HAHAHA take that fucking Tomogara!

* * *

><p>At Stolas's Tomogara unit<p>

"This must have been the work of the Shin'i no Yuite that terrible demon! Now it will take hours before we reach the battle ground. Damn that old hag."

"We should be happy that we got author protection or else we'd really be dead. Thanks to her we're alive."

* * *

><p>A: Finally someone appreciates me and since that old hag insulted me some chapters ago of course I won't give her, her way.<p>

* * *

><p>…? What I sense another Tomogara unit. Good thing that I come always prepared. I took out another button and pressed it. Not long after that a poisonous smoke became visible at the opposite site where the avalanche fell. Also you could see that at some part sludge started to appear and other intoxicant things. Let's hope those shitty Tomogara will die in a very painful way HAHAHAHA!"<p>

* * *

><p>At Haborym's Tomogara unit<p>

"OMG we got a miracle that saved us! Thank god for the existence of author protection."

"But Haborym-sama it'll take much longer for us to arrive now!"

"… Oh crap."

* * *

><p>"FUCK YOU STUPID TOMOGARA AND FUCKING AUTHOR! I'LL MAKE SURE YOU'LL GET WORSE THAN HELL, WHEN I GET YOU! JUST YOU WAIT!"<p>

I don't know who's more annoying the Tomogara, the author or humans!

**Decarabia's POV**

This isn't going well… seems like our backup was almost dead, with the Shin'i no Yuite commanding the Flame Haze I wonder how long we'll last.

"I need to take action, but only for five minutes."

I appeared 50 km away from the battlefield with a snow ball machine.

"OKAY, TAKE THIS FLAME HAZE ARMY!"

Snow balls were hitting like cannons and a lot of Flame Haze got buried under the snow in seconds. I noticed a very fat Flame Haze getting buried by the snow balls hahahah he couldn't move anymore except for his arms and legs a little bit. How are people like that able to become Flame Haze in the first place? Unless their Guze no Ou are fat too.

At Sophie

"FUCKING USELESS FLAME HAZE! GETTING BEATEN AND BURIED BY SOME SNOW BALLS! YOUR SUPPOSED TO BE ABLE TO MELT THEM PUSSIES! LETTING YOURSELF GETTING BURIED, BY A COWARDLY FISH THAT YOU CAN HAVE FOR DINNER! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU'RE NOT EVEN ABLE TO DEFLECT SNOWBALLS!"

I suddenly saw the Saikyō no Morite and a lot of other Flame Haze being thrown into the air.. WTF is going on? But this will be a nice opportunity to get rid of a lot of them. I took out my giant snow ball shooter. It's called **_the _snow ball shooter:** _**5000 extreme**__. _Awesome name right?

Well Flame Haze this will be your last battle make sure to treasure your moments! Hasta la vista, baby!"

As I was about to shoot I suddenly felt something evil approaching.

"OH CRAP IT'S THE SHIN'I NO YUITE! I NEED TO RETREATH BEFORE IT'S TOO LATE! AAAHHH!"

*CRASH!*

* * *

><p>A: Seems like Decarabia is out so I'll narrate this part. Decarabia wasn't fast enough to evade the attack. His injuries where so bad, that the Tomogara ambulance appeared immediately and carried Decarabia to the Tomogara hospital.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Satou's POV<strong>

I woke up and the first thing that I felt was some feeling in my whole body. Damn it feels like I've been drugged or as if my body went through some massive alcoholic phase.

* * *

><p>A: is that even a word?<p>

* * *

><p>I stood up and saw Margery in her underwear drinking like always.<p>

"Good morning Keisaku. While you overslept I've been reading the reports while drinking ow and the Banjō no Shite left us some DVD to watch. *hiccup*"

"…OMG I can't believe I am the first of my friends who became a man! They'll be soo jealous!"

"*hiccup* Sorry to burst your bubble sweetie, but here go and watch this DVD you'll see what I mean.*hiccup*"

* * *

><p>A few hours later<p>

"…? HE EVEN MARRIED HER? WHAT'S SAKAI THINKING? HE REALIZED HER FEELINGS FOR HER ONLY A FEW MONTHS AGO! WHAT ELSE HAS HE DONE WHILE I WAS STUCK IN OUTLAW? HAVING CHILDREN?

"Naah *hick* I am sure Chibi-chan won't allow things like that. Despite the fact that she freezes when it comes to those subjects I am sure her body will have some automatic defend system. *hiccup*"

"Shana-chan isn't a robot. Seriously that Sakai he really is obsessed with her"

"Well they've done it twice *hick* so…"

* * *

><p>A: Hahahahahahahah!<p>

* * *

><p>"You think Caramel-san is alright?"<p>

"No idea, I wasn't listening to my surroundings when I was in emo state. If I were her I'd snap his head off already. *hiccup* Don't just sit there get ready to leave I am sure chibi-chan needs our help and Marcoshias is waiting downstairs for us."

"Okay."

**Shana's POV**

We've been able to avoid getting seen by the evil Flame Haze spirits successfully and we're on our way to find Yuji and his group of freaks. We've entered the Mario realm not long ago and I suddenly spotted a figure coming towards us at full speed.

"What's that? Is it an enemy?"

"It seems to be approaching us with inhuman speed. –De arimasu."

"Unidentified running object."

As it kept coming close I could see that it was a giant black snake? And his eyes were heart shaped …?

"SHAAAANAAAAAAAAAA!"

CRAP IT'S AFTER ME I HAVE TO RUN NO FLY FOR MY LIVE! I flew as fast as I could to get away from it, but the snake was very fast and it kept tailing me.

"NOO! DON'T COME NEAR ME get away I don't taste good! I taste like burning embers!"

I was flying for my live and I noticed that Wilhelmina and the Kishaku no Makite were only staring at scene with confused faces and Khamsin-san was looking with a delighted face… What a stupid kid.

"I wanna join onigokko game I wanna join onigokko game (1)! Can I please please please?"

"Khamsin Nbh'w, don't even think about joining! It's not a game!"

"Yes daddy."

After 30 minutes of trying to get away from the snake I got grabbed by his tail. It carried me to its head. I was taken by surprise when I was Yuji standing there with a very happy face.

"SHANA I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU WERE THAT IMPATIENT TO SEE ME THAT YOU DECIDED TO PICK ME UP! I AM SO HAPPY!"

"I am happy to see you're safe Shana. Did you had some awesome games to play?"

"Also hello Alastor."

Yuji hugged me very tightly and he gave me my Cocytus with Alastor back. I saw the Trinity, Sabrac, Rofocale, Domino and Dantalion spilled up somewhere at the end of the tail with green faces… How fast did he go?

"BAKA YUJI! WHY DID YOU HAVE TO SCARE ME TO DEATH? I thought I was getting a heart attack when I saw a giant snake racing towards me so fast! You forgot to remove Tartaros before you left! I was almost dead if it wasn't for Tenmoku Ikko, who came from the sword and released me from it!"

"I am sorry for scarring you my love, but as you can see I resurrected my body and the moment you entered this realm I sensed your presence so I came as fast as I could. I was too happy with the fact that we got married, that I forgot that your powers were sealed by the Hougu."

"… Commander ugh … you… went… too fast… ugh, I… am feeling sick… I don't… even… want to eat anymore…"

"I think… I don't… need… to use… the bathroom… anymore…"

-_- "I… want… to get… out of here."

"I think… my lunch… is… climbing… my stomach… Hecate… please… get… away… from me, before… it's too late…

-_- "With pleasure and after that I'll throw up on you."

"~Ugh… singing… never… was… so unpleasant…

Children… please… don't… get… too… decent…

Ugh… feeling… too sick… to sing…~"

"EEEEEXCEEELEEENT UGG… NEEEEVEEEER… FEEEELT… SOOOO… SIIIIICK… IIIIIN… MYYY *Blargh*"

"Despite me… being a Rinne… I still… don't… feel… good… system… getting... out… of… control…"

"… Great they puked on my recently awaked body… Sabrac peed in his pants… I need to make a note to let the Tomogara give my body a decent wash…"

"OOOWWWW, So that's why the snake started to stalk Nietono no."

"But how were you able to reach your body so fast?"

"*cough* Well that's because my love for you made it possible to reach my destination so fast."

* * *

><p>A: HAHAHAHAHAHA Yeah you had so much fun playing Mario hadn't you?"<p>

* * *

><p>"Shana, why did you bring Flame Haze with you?"<p>

"Commander, she must have come here to stop you!"

"Actually we came here, because gramps would destroy every melon pan, manga, anime and video games that exist in the world if I don't fight you and since this is the best opportunity to stay away from her longer."

"Well it was kinda useless since we're near the exit, but since I don't want my lovely wife to get hurt, Sabrac go play with Caramel-san and the others!"

"Wait we have to fight a piss assassin? He even looks like he's in a very bad shape! You're fucking kidding me!"

"Commander… I don't wanna fight ugh… still not… feeling good…"

"Sabrac, are you going against your leaders orders?"

"But… I'm really… not feeling well… ugh"

"Sabrac… do… it… now… or you'll have to clean my body on your own."

"Yes commander. It was a day like always; the sun was shining brightly and it was hot. My friend wanted me to take a break from work, since it was too hot, but I was too determined to work as an assassin it's a shame if you take a day off."

"Weren't you a mercenary? –De arimasuka."

"Daddy what's a mercenary?"

"Someone who gets paid to do illegal jobs, kinda like what we do except we do it on our own and we're not getting paid."

"Why not daddy?"

"Because our boss is a bitch!"

"SHUT UP I AM TRYING TO TELL MY STORY! …*BLARGH*"

"Great now someone else threw up too. Fucking gross!"

While Wilhelmina and the others were busy dealing with Sabrac's nausea, Yuji was trying to convince me to oppose gramps.

"She's not your boss isn't she? You are strong enough to make your own decisions, you're Alastor's Flame Haze a lot of Tomogara fear your strength!"

"But if I don't listen to gramps something worse than this will happen and I don't want to see the person I love the most get hurt because of me!"

"…! What did you say? ... Did I really hear it? Shana you mean that you…"

"Yes Yuji I love you I love you even more than melon pan."

"Shana… it's the first time you told your feelings out loud…"

I walked up to Yuji to kiss him on the check, but he turned his head and I ended up kissing him in the mouth… like always he refused to stop kissing me and he pinned me to the ground, starting to touch me again… my brain stopped working again…

"MPFFHHPMMM!"

* * *

><p>Victim list:<p>

Purson – transformed into a kitten

Urvall – absorbed into Nietono no Shana

Other Tomogara that were victimized by Shana and Tenmoku Ikko – absorbed into Nietno no Shana

Ninjas – absorbed into Nietno no Shana

Samurais – absorbed into Nietono no Shana

Judo masters – absorbed into Nietono no Shana

Sumo wrestlers – absorbed into Nietono no Shana

Decarabia. – Hospitalized

* * *

><p>(1) Onigokko is Japanese tag in the game there's one person who's it; the demon who's supposed to chase the others. In Khamsin's eyes the giant Snake was playing the role of the demon and Shana was the one getting chased by the demon.<p>

Wow chapter eleven already that was very quick. I can't believe how fast I am in these things. I hope you enjoyed the chapter guys.

Shana: Why did you have to humiliate me? Have you got any idea how embarrassed I am?

Me: But it was funny it's not something you get to read every day. Well now you can… you know what I mean.

Margery: Your fantasy is really big, isn't it?

Me: Hehe yeah I love Shakugan no Shana so much and you can see what the result is for that.

Sydonay: Why did you made us all so… soo… sick?

Me: I always wanted to see you doing something you'd never imagine plus after getting such a fast ride I'd be surprised if you didn't vomited XD.

Bel Peol: You just like to see and read embarrassing moments do you?

Me: Yup I do. Well I guess this was it for today see you next chapter and don't forget to leave a review.


	14. The big cleaning

Hello everyone welcome to chapter 12 of A Shakugan no Shana III Final Parody. Let's keep on with the good job my dear readers and reviewers.

Shana: You kinda look sad today what happened.

Me: *sniff* Be- because I watched episode 23 WAAAHAAA! *sob sob* I didn't want Khamsin to die! And… the anime… is one… episode… away… from finishing NOOOO Shana don't leave us!

Khamsin: I am right here.

Shana: And I am also still here

Me: *hugs Khamsin and Shana tightly* Don't you dare to leave your fans I was in tears I won't accept you guys to leave.

Khamsin: You're the author of the story we can't leave. As long as you want us present here we stay.

Me: Th… thank you! Waaahaaa!

Alastor: I feel like you're leaving everyone else out…

Me: Of course not I love you all! No group hug.

SnH: I am not that comfortable with group hugs.

Me: Shut up and join the group hug!

Yuji: You're very demanding, aren't you?

Me: You do know that the other fans also want a group hug.

Margery: How sweet! Well then if they want a group hug then they'll get one after they've read this chapter.

Me: That's nice now Khamsin do the disclaimer.

Khamsin: xxxDreamingflowerxxx doesn't own Shakugan no Shana or else she wouldn't allow anyone else to die. Can you release us now?

Me: NO!

* * *

><p>Chapter 12: The big cleaning<p>

**Sabrac's POV**

I am feeling soo sick "BLAARGHH!" I can't stop puking *BLAAARGH!* "Someone help? *BLAAARGHH!*"

How mean that everyone else is ignoring me instead of helping me. Commander… went… too… fast… *BLAAARGH!*

"Uhm… commander?"

I looked up and I saw the commander on top of the princess.

"COMMANDER WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

For some reason I felt an evil aura behind me I am getting the chills. I looked behind me and I saw the Banjō no Shite with a super scary yangire face and holding a knife… "Uhm is she alright?"

"Oi! Wilhelmina get yourself together this won't be a smart move! PUT THAT KNIFE AWAY!"

"We won't allow you to hurt our commander! Sydonay, Hecate! Come help me to restrain her!"

So the Trinity and the Kishaku no Makite were trying to hold the Banjō no Shite from killing the commander…

"Must… kill… hateful existence… before… it reproduces… –De arimasu! I HATE YOU SO MUCH MYSTES! –De arimasu!"

"MPFFGFDSH! Someone please help me! Yuji, get off me this isn't fun and it's embarrassing!"

How can he do such things in public? No wonder he's been nicknamed horny snake or snake in eternal mating season.

* * *

><p>A: Hahahahaha! He has a lot of other nicknames too, like mega perverted snake, love obsessed snake, most perverted god of all, Shana obsessed snake, hentai hebi, petanko loving god, tsundere perv, the snake who'll send Shana to eternal trauma, the nii-chan who wants to touch nee-chan all the time… that's the nickname Khamsin gave him ROFL. The perverted leader of Bal Masqué, slippy finger, snake that needs to keep his tail in control, snake on Shana's plain, second base, snake cocks a lot, dickbiscuit! Hahahahahaha!<p>

* * *

><p>"Why are you always so insulting? You know the commander won't like those nicknames."<p>

* * *

><p>A: Who cares they're funny nicknames.<p>

* * *

><p>I signed and decided to help them… after a few minutes we were finally able to separate the commander from the princess and calm down the Banjō no Shite a little bit…<p>

"Commander when are we going out of this place I feel horrible I am not even in the mood to go to a restaurant and I think that…"

"BLARGHHH!"

"Yup Hecate puked on Sydonay…"

"Stop puking all over my body!"

"INSOLENT FOOLS! WHERE'S YOUR RESPECT FOR YOUR LEADER? YOU THINK THAT I'LL HAVE TO PUT UP WITH THIS? IT'S ENOUGH ALREADY HAVING TO DEAL WITH SAKAI YUJI EVERYDAY AND HIS CONSTANT LOVE SPEECHES FOR THE ENPATSU SHAKUGAN NO UCHITE! BUT PUKING ON MY BODY? ARE YOU ALL OUT OF YOUR MIND EVEN SABRAC URINATED ON ME! I AM NOT A PUKING CAN!"

* * *

><p>A: Hahahahahah! This is the best day ever. The body of a god being used as a toilet! HAHAHAHAHAH!<p>

* * *

><p>"SHUT THE HELL UP!"<p>

* * *

><p>A: Oh my, did I touch a sensitive subject? Hahaha what you guys can't take the truth? What kind of a man are you? Wait sorry you're a snake not a man hahahaha!<p>

* * *

><p>"… let's just pretend that it's an annoying bug that refuses to leave us alone."<p>

"At least it's not so embarrassing, as what you tried to do to me a few minutes ago in public."

"… Must… punish… Mystes… –De arimasu

"~You mustn't keep you feelings in

With little bit of affection is where it all begins

Share them all with the little kids

Ohh this feeling that can't be… *BLAARGHH*~"

"~Still… not… feeling… well…~"

"STOP PUKING ON MY BODY! HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY IT? IF YOU KEEP ON LIKE THIS I'LL MAKE YOU CLEAN MY BODY IN CLOWN COSTUMES!"

"No! Please commander! Not that, everything but clown costumes I hate clowns they're so scary and I don't want me cute Hecate to be scarred of me! We'll try to not dishonor you anymore as long as we don't need to wear those horrible costumes!"

"Too late you pile of vomit jiji. I already hate you and even without a clown costume I'd prefer to stay as far from you as I can."

"…! He… Heca… Hecate… called me and old man… in… vomit… WAAAHAAAAA!"

"I never felt this terrible since I fell in that poisoned water. It was centuries ago and I was on a killing job again. It was so warm that day that I thought I was getting a sun stroke my clothes were stinking and sticky and I…"

"SHUT UP SABRAC!"

"… I am starting to feel horrible again… has anyone got medicine for me?"

**Yuji's POV **

How could they disturb my private moment with Shana! She finally has told her feelings out loud for the first time and after all the time we were separated! I deserve some alone time with my wife!

"EEEEXEEEELEEEEENTT! THIIIIIS TRIIIIIPPP WAAASS SOOO EXXCELEEEEENT! NEED TO MAAAAKEEE PIIIICTUUUURREEEES EEEVEEEERYYYYYWHEEEEEERREEEE OOOOF EEEEVEEEERYYYYYTHIIIIING! OOF THIIIIIS AAAAND THIIIIS! THIIIIS ISS SOOOO EXCCEELEEEEEENT!"

"YOU IDIOT STOP SCREAMING IN OUR EARS I THOUGHT I WAS BECOMING DEAF AND ALSO YOUR BREATH STICKS TO WASH YOUR TEETH!"

"III REEEEFUUUUUSEEE! THIIIIS IIIIS THEEE FIIIIIRST TIIIMEEEE I GOOOOT SIIIIICK! I WAAANAAAA EEENJOOOYY THIIIIIS EEEEXPEEERIIIEEENCEEE TOOOO THE FUUULEEEEST!

I covered my nose and took a few steps away from Dantalion. "You're really sick in your head!"

"IIII KNOOOOOW! YOOOOOUUUU'REEE NOOOOOT THEEEE FIIIIRST OOOONEEEE WHOOOO TOOOOLD MEEEE THAAAAAT!"

"COMMMANDER I CAN'T HEAR WHAT YOU'RE SAYING THE TANTANKYŪKYŪ SCREAMED TO HARD IN MY EARS AND I CAN'T SUPPORT THIS SMELL! CAN I PLEASE TAKE A BATH NOW? I DON'T WANT TO LOOK THIS HORRIBLE IN FRONT OF MY HECATE-CHAN!"

"You're right about that. Now go and wash my body till it's sparkling I don't want to be humiliated. If I appeared with my revived body like that my imago will drop for sure if they see my second body covered in your puke and Sabrac's piss."

"But commander the only place available is the woman's bathroom, toilet whatever you can call it back at the final boss room, where we revived your body."

"That doesn't matter Domino, as long as you guys will be able to wash all the impureness from my body and I'll be able to present myself. Now let's go back it may take a bit longer, but who cares and of course I will not allow my wife and her friends to be left behind!"

I dragged them all on the head of my second body and we were off to the deepest part of the messed up Mario world.

* * *

><p>We arrived at the woman's bathroom in a few minutes. I walked inside and drove all the dead spirits away.<p>

"Okay now we can fully enjoy this. Let's go!"

"HECATEEEE-CHAN! Let's enjoy this joyful moment together! I can wash your back if you want and then you can… ouch!"

-_- "Say that again and the next shot will hit your heart."

I grabbed Shana and dragged her with me.

"Shana let's go bathe together, you're clothes are covered in blood and even the smell of death is coming from your body even the dress I got you is dirty."

"… EHHHH WHATTT?"

"… You… stay… away… from… her… –De arimasu!"

"There's nothing wrong with wanting to bathe together with my wife."

"I… won't… allow… it… –De arimasu!"

"Prohibited!"

"Oi Wilhelmina, you do know that this dimension is fucking unstable already. If you keep up with this, this fucking world will fall apart and the old bitch will get what she wants! So let's just take an opportunity of this and also relax I mean I've never been to a public bath."

"… Nothing… I can do…? –De arimasu…

"Instant defeat."

"Uhm, so who'll wash Khamsin? There's no way that he can wash himself."

Everyone focused their attention to Khamsin, who was playing with some kind of unknown thing.

"~WE'LL WASH THE CUTE KID!~"

"And Hecate-chan too!"

"… So no one?"

"Uhm wouldn't it be better if the woman washed the kid? I mean I heard that in a lot of anime and manga woman are washing the kids."

"Oi Kaijin. That makes us sounds gay you know that. I guess it'll be better that that the two fucking lolicons wash the brat… hey wait since when has a mercenary like you got any knowledge about manga or anime."

"I traveled and met a lot of people… some of them are hardcore otaku like the Tenjou no Gouka, the princess and the author. A lot keep babbling about those things, that's how I knew."

"Can I please take a bath with Wilhelmina or alone?"

"No way, I've been dreaming about this since forever! See this as part of our honey moon and I also prepared a special bath for just the two of us now let's go."

"… Why is my life so complicated?"

**Sophie's POV**

"CAN NO ONE DO BETTER THAN THIS YOU PIECES OF CRAP? EVEN A BABY CAN DO BETTER THEN YOU!"

I was watching the battlefield and I am not satisfied when I see those weaklings fight… I drank my tea and threw the cup at the nearest Tomogara or Flame Haze I saw.

"Ouch! My head is starting to bleed!"

"THAT'S BECAUSE YOU'RE A FUCKING WEAKLING!"

"I wanna go home! Waaahaa!"

… Where is that fucking horny snake? I am getting so bored here and those Tomogara and Flame Haze are getting on my nerves. I ate a sandwich and threw it that that gay François guy.

"Noo I am allergic to this material my face is getting swollen and red someone help me!"

"GO DIG A GRAVE FOR YOURSELF AND LET THOSE HOOCKERS AND PIMPS FUCK YOU BEFORE YOU GO IN THERE! GAY SHIT!"

"… eh… eh my… my… I… I…"

"WHAT'S WRONG SHIT SISSY LOST YOUR TONGUE? OR DO YOU WANT ME TO CUT IT FOR YOU? DON'T STAND THERE LIKE A DUMB IDIOT AND DO SOMETHING!"

I kicked François as hard as I could into the battle field.

"GYAAAAA!"*BOOM*

Seems like he killed a few Tomogara and Flame Haze thanks to the impact HAH! Serves those weaklings right! HAHAHAHAHAH!

"I… think… I… did it in my pants… I WANNA GO HOME TO MY MOMMY WAAHAAAA!"

As I thought my useless granddaughter is taking too long. I am sure she's getting fucked again by her boyfriend. What a useless slut!

**Normal POV**

*Shana sneezes* "Yuji let me go please."

"No way! You just sneezed I won't allow you to catch a cold and stop covering your face."

"But there's no wind here and I am sure the reason I sneezed was because someone is badmouthing me and this is embarrassing!"

"No one dares to insult you! Now stop making up excuses. Come here and let me help you."

"Alastor, Help please?"

"Alastor is AFK at the moment, please leave a message."

* * *

><p>At the woman's bath<p>

"Wilhelmina, chill out! You know what will happen if you start to make a mess in this fucking place!"

"I think the smell is finally gone I now need to find a toothbrush and I can enjoy eating again!"

-_- "I hope the hentai jiji drowns."

"Oww look daddy bubble and they pop when I play with them yaaay!"

"Khamsin Nbh'w, what did I said about running around in the baths!"

* * *

><p>The men's side<p>

*sob sob* "~Why can't we take a shower with the cute Gisō no Karite, Khamsin-chan?~"

*sob sob* "And with Hecatep-chan! Waahaa!"

"Just shut up you two! I wonder why people are complaining about my stories while you're complaining about children and petanko's is a torture for everyone."

"EEEEEXCEEEELEEEEENT! THIIIIS IIS THEEEE FIIIIIIIRST TIIIIIMEEE IIII'VEEE TAAAAKEEEEEEN AAAA BAAAAATH!"

Sydonay, Sabrac and Rofocale took a few steps backwards to get as far from Dantalion and Domino as they could.

"… What's the problem with you guys?"

**Sophie's POV**

"S… Sophie Sawallisch-sama, we get report that the army of the self-loving Dracula, Mammon is winning!"

"WHAT THE FUCK, ARE YOU A BUNCH OF STUPID FOOLS! A VAMPIRE IS EASY TO KILL! JUST STABB THE FUCKING THING WITH A WOODEN PIN, STUF IT WITH GARLIC, USE WATER OR USE A SILVER CROSS! FUCKING RETARDS!"

"B… but Sophie Sawallisch-sama only werewolves are weak against silver and the only werewolf we know about, is the battle form of the Chōshi no Yomite Margery Daw."

"SAMUEL, YOU'RE FUCKING USELESS! WHY AREN'T YOU FIGHTING AGAINST THE TOMOGARA? WHO GAVE YOU PERMISSION TO TAKE A REST? DON'T STAND THERE LIKE A USELESS PUSSY AND GO KILL SOMEONE!"

I threw him in the battlefield here he got attacked by some Tomogara! He barely was able to escape. They're all so weak! Is that fucking snake trying to test my patience?

"Sophie Sawallisch-kun it seems like Stolas and his unit has arrived."

"… FUCK THEM! I AM GOING TO MAKE THEM REGRET THAT THEY'VE COME TO ASSIST THEIR SHITTY COMRADES!"

* * *

><p>Meanwhile at Ribersal<p>

"Crap how are we supposed go get to Seireiden!"

Ribersal, Phirsyon and Haboryn and their Tomogara unit are standing in front of a giant rock that's been covered with intoxicated chemicals that were covering the whole area.

"Uhm Ribersal, how are we supposed to get through this?"

"I wish I knew Phisryon… but it looks impossible, one wrong step and we're done for.

"This looks like a set up scenery from one of those RPG games… I wonder if the author will give us her protection again…"

* * *

><p>A: Sorry guys but you're alone in this one and I kinda got inspired with a level from Xenoblade; Satory Marsh I love that level.<p>

* * *

><p>"… At least she saved us once."<p>

"Can't we just destroy this thing Haborym?"

"That would be a reckless move, not only is that rock covered in intoxicated chemicals, but also the rock itself has poison gases inside if we destroy the rock then the gas will break free and everyone that inhales it will die from poison in seconds."

"That fucking old hag! I'll get her for this I swear!"

"Calm down Ribersal… let's just hope that Stolas-dono will arrive and aid the comrades that are defending Seireiden…"

"Eh… let's hope we'll be saved when the commander comes back…"

**Shana's POV**

So we were finally on our way back to… the slaughter field… I feel so awkward and I am sure I'll never get used to this… I looked behind me and I saw; the Trinity, Kaijin Sabrac, Rofocale, Tantankyūkyū Dantalion and Cantate Domino 28… washing the giant snake body of Yuji… I am sure that will take hours to clean it. How did things end up like this?

"Uhm Why are the Kaijin and Senpen Sydonay the only ones who are not in cleaning uniforms, but in underwear? And why is the face of the Kaijin still covered?"

"Our clothes had to dry remember princess, they were all dirty, so we had to wash it."

"But that still doesn't explain why you two are in underwear."

"I forced them to clean in their underwear after what they did. I won't forgive the ones who are mostly responsible for puking my body all over."

"Wasn't Hecate the one puking on Sydonay."

"That's because he provoked her."

"Wasn't Senpen Sydonay's clothes covered in Itadaki no Kura Hecate's puke?"

"That's true Tenjou no Gouka, but I cut off a piece of my suit and put it in a box as a memento."

"… Yuck…"

I could see the Itadaki no Kura's face turning green and Yuji trying to hide his anger.

"SYDONAY I DEMAND YOU TO THROW THAT DISGUSTING BOX AWAY NOW!"

"But Commander it's my memento of Hecate-chan it's the first thing I got from her!"

"… I can't remember the Trinity being like this, when the first war occurred. Did something happen to you that made you this lunatic?"

"But it's my treasure…"

"No buts, I won't allow you to ruin this great moment with your disgusting hobbies! I was finally able to have some alone time with my wife again and now you start collecting things that makes everyone sick! You want to clean my body alone?"

"… Mystes… has… to… die… –De arimasu."

"Exterminate."

"Wilhelmina if you… I can't believe I am saying this; behave… we… can… go… shopping… for… your… fucking… maid costumes…"

"I'll think about it. –De arimasuka."

"Reconsider the offer."

"Yaaaay this is fun I am on a giant rollercoaster! Daddy where are the cars to ride in this rollercoaster?"

"Khamsin Nbh'w this isn't a roller coaster it's the snake body of the Souzoushin!"

"So we're in a zoo?"

"No, we're in a distorted Mario world."

"Why is there a snake in Mario world? Shouldn't we go find the fire breathing turtle?"

"We're on top of a giant snake now shut up!"

"Yes daddy,"

"Behemoth, you forgot to add the word horny."

I signed Khamsin never changes… I wonder what went wrong when he made the contract… or behemoth was the idiot for making a contract with a child. For some mysterious reason they did survive very long and now they're feared by a lot of Tomogara, but that must be because of Khamsin's strange fantasy…

"Shana I can see that you finally were able to wash all that blood off your clothes. How did you bath went?"

"Alastor… it's better if you don't ask anything."

"Ohh now that I think about it, Shana why were you covered in blood?"

I felt Wilhelmina and the Kishaku no Makite flinch behind me for some reason.

"I have actually no idea Yuji… The last thing I could remember is meeting that camel called Uvall, while I was looking for a way to save my melon pan… then I think he talked something about gramps and the last what I could remember was… the blood on my nodachi and then everything went black. Before I knew it I was outside of a building, that had collapsed or something like that. There was a lot of fire for some reason and I saw Wilhelmina and the Kishaku no Makite trembling in fear for some reason."

"That is indeed odd, by the way Sakai Yuji what happened to your bangs?"

"Oh I thought it was time to use a new hairstyle."

"Yuji you only untied your bangs nothing else has changed with your hair…"

"But you do think I look better like this, right?"

"I stared at Yuji for a few seconds and quickly turned my head so no one could notice my blushing face."

"Yeah sure."

**Sabrac's POV**

… Why are all the readers staring at me with those strange faces? IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT THE COMMANDER ORDERED ME AND SYDONAY TO CLEAN IN OUR UNDERWEAR! I WASN'T ABLE TO USE THE TOILET AND HE REALLY WENT TOO FAST NO NORMAL PERSON WILL BE ABLE TO EVADE PUKING! Anyway, we're still cleaning the body of our commander. You should see how big he is seriously I wonder if we're able to wash it on time. You know our commander should be in the world of records book for being the biggest and longest snake ever or for having two bodies, I don't know anyone else who has two bodies and the second one that can be used as a pet.

"SAAABRAAAAAAACC WOOOOUUUUULD YOOOOOUUUUU HEEEEELP MEEEEE WIIIITH THIIIS EEEEEXPEEEERIMEEEENT? IIII WAAAANT TOOO MEEEEAAAAASUUUUUREEEE THEEEE COOOMAAAANDEEEER'S BOOODYYYYY AAAND III NEEED YOOOOUUUR HEEEELP."

"Uhm sure, but you can ask him too if you want to know his sizes for whatever sick reason of yours…"

"III MEEEEAAAAN THEEEE SNAAAAKEEEE BOOOODYYY OOOOF OOOOUUUUR COOOOMAAAAANDEEEER YOOOUUUUU IIIIDIIIIOOOOOT!"

I wonder, how many people call each other idiot…?

"But I need to wash it and you also have to help remember, I can't help you."

"OOOOOF COOOOOOUUUUUURSEEEE YOOOOUUUUU CAAAAAAN! YOOOOOUUUUU CAAAAAN WAAAASH WHIIIILEEEE YOOOOOUU'REEEE MEEEAAAASUUUUURIIIING!"

Before I could say anything else Dantalion tied me with a robe, shove some measuring tape and shoved me of our commander's body.

"GYAAAAA!"

I almost got a heart attack, until I stopped falling… at least he didn't tried to kill me.

"DOOOOOON'T STAAAAAND THEEEEREEE AAAND GOOOO MEEEEAAAASUUUUUREEEE HIIIS LEEEEENGHT AAAAND HEEEEEIIIIIIGHT!"

I wrote down the height, tried to clean the spot a bit and pulled on the robe. I got pulled up in amazing speed as if I was riding a rollercoaster…

"You… could… be… more… gentle… I thought… I was going to die. *pant*"

"DOOOON'T JUUUST STAAAND THEEEREEE AAAAND STAAART RUUUUNIIIING TOOO THEEEEE TAAAAIIIIL!"

I guess it's time for the cleaning marathon… run to the end of the commander's tail and trying to wash the path ahead of me…

* * *

><p>5 hours later<p>

*Huff huff* I *huff huff* think that I *huff huff* am almost there *huff*

* * *

><p>A: Sorry Sabrac but you're only halfway. Well, good luck trying to get to the end!<p>

* * *

><p>What normal person would be able to get to the end before we reached the exit of this world?<p>

"Hi Kaijin Sabrac,"

"What… do you want Domino? Can't… you see I am doing a favor for your creator?"

"Yeah about that the professor thought that you'd be tired halfway or even sooner so he asked me to deliver this to you."

"Deliver wha…"

"Before I could finish my question Domino stuffed some strange looking pills in my mouth and in a few seconds my body was starting to act strange."

"Domino what is…?"

"Steroids now you'll be able to reach the end in no time! Now, good luck!"

"Wait but that's! No you can't! GYAAAAA!"

I suddenly started to run superfast and before I knew it I was at the end of the tail. I was even able to clean in super speed… using steroids couldn't be that bad I guess.

* * *

><p>When I got back Dantalion was… using some strange machine for washing. I think it'll be smart to not ask details about that.<p>

"Now you got the measurements you happy now? Please let me finish my job now."

"WAAAAAIIIIIIT IIII NEEED YOOOU FOOOOR OOONEEE MOOOREEE TAASK!"

Oh god, just shoot me please.

"What is it?"

"COOOOOUUUULD YOOOOU MEEEAAAASUUUUUREEEE OOOOUUUUUR COOOOMAAANDEEEER'S… OOOOUUCH MYYY HEEAAAD!"

"…"

"YOU SHAMELESS IDIOT, HOW DARE YOU TO EVEN ASK THOSE KIND OF THINGS AS PART OF YOUR EXPERIMIMENT! IF YOU TRY THAT AGAIN I'LL MAKE SURE THAT YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLE TO INVENT ANYTHING ELSE!"

Everyone else was staring shocked at Dantalion. I guess he went too far this time.

"What does that doctor mean with that daddy?"

"He's not a doctor he's a mad scientist, who has hit his head too many times and you'd better not ask those questions just go back to playing."

"Nii-chan what did that doctor meant with measuring?"

"You're too young to know those kinds of things and since you'll never grow older, your brain has also some internal damage that causes your inability to understand certain subjects no matter how many times people will explain to you. So just go play with Sabrac to kill some time."

"…"

"What's wrong Shana?"

"Don't you mean what's wrong with you? Why did you sound so smart suddenly?"

"I am not an idiot."

"A lot of people think you are one…"

"Aren't you supposed to be on my side what kind of alter ego are you?"

"One that looks at the logics."

"…"

"WHY DO I FEEL LIKE YOU'RE ALL IGNORING ME! THAT STUPID PROFESSOR MADE ME RUN ON STEROIDS FOR HIS STUPID EXPERIMENT, THAT I DON'T UNDERSTAND A SINGLE THING ABOUT WHAT USE IT HAS! I'VE ONLY BEEN USED AS SOME KIND OF SLAVE!"

"Stop complaining and continue to clean my body till it sparkles!"

**Yuji's POV**

*sigh*

"Is something wrong Shana?"

"Not really except that soon I'll have to listen to gramps insults about how useless I am, since according to her I can't clean, write a proper letter, my way of speaking is terrible, I have no fashion sense, my training is horrible I don't really understand what she meant with that and that I am a terrible cook…"

"You can't cook?"

"Do you remember that day where you had to go to school alone and when you came back you found your kitchen in a mess… no worse than a mess. Chigusa said that she had an accident, well I was that accident."

"Really? It's hard to believe."

"What do you mean by that Flame Haze are well known for being terrible cooks. Even Wilhelmina can't cook. How could you not know this?"

"I wasn't sealed thanks to the Flame Haze's cooking skill in the Great War, of course none of us knew about this."

"Maybe if Mathilde used her cooking skill instead of Tempa Jyousai, she wouldn't have to die and I wouldn't end up being a widow."

"I stared surprised at Alastor; "Wait you were married?"

"Of course I was, do you have any idea how hot Mathilde was and if I overlooked her cooking skill she was one heck of a wife. I loved her so much."

"I did hear that you were in love with your contractor, but I never heard about the fact that you married her."

"I made a contract with her after we got married."

"Wait Alastor, how come you never told me this?"

"That's because you never asked, Shana."

"Because I never knew that Tomogara and gods could marry and I didn't know what a marriage was, until recently."

"So Alastor is it possible for a Guze no Ou and a Flame Haze to have a child?"

"EHHHHH?"

"Don't… go… too… far… Mystes… –De arimasu."

"Put that fucking knife down Wilhelmina!"

"I am sorry Sakai Yuji, but I think this isn't the right time and place to talk about that kind of subject. You shouldn't forget that we're in the middle of a messed up war."

"Commander I think I can see the exit already! I can finally taste my delicious food again."

I could swear I saw Bel Peol drooling when she said that.

"Uhm commander?"

"I… am not… feeling so well… I think I need to…"

Before Sabrac was able to finish his sentence he collapsed.

"… What the hell?"

* * *

><p>Victim list:<p>

Purson – transformed into a kitten

Urvall – absorbed into Nietono no Shana

Other Tomogara that were victimized by Shana and Tenmoku Ikko – absorbed into Nietno no Shana

Ninjas – absorbed into Nietno no Shana

Samurais – absorbed into Nietono no Shana

Judo masters – absorbed into Nietono no Shana

Sumo wrestlers – absorbed into Nietono

Decarabia. – Hospitalized

* * *

><p>Yaay that was chapter 12 I hope you guys liked it. Well I feel a lot better now. If it weren't for some friends of mine who helped me with a few part I could never finish this. Ohh and since I've written about 14 chapter already I am planning to make a popularity poll about the characters the top 5 will be in a special chapter that I am going to write you can vote up to 5 characters and for the non registered readers just leave a review with your top 5. Go check my profile page for the poll.<p>

Phirsyon: So will you let go of us now?

Me: Not until I am fully recovered from my depression!

Khamsin: But you've been hugging us for hours and I am sure some of us have trouble breathing.

Bel Peol: Yeah I need fresh air and your hug is a bit too tight.

Me: Not my problem! I won't let go of any of you!

SnH: Please this really isn't my style…

Me: That's because you were never in contact with a girl and you never read a book about how to handle your fans!

SnH: … Release me.

Me: NEVER!

Sydonay: I think it's not so bad. Let's think about the bright side of this. We're loved so much by the author that she refuses to let go of us.

Marcochias: Kinda weird since she always makes fun of us.

Me: That's because this is a parody it's normal that the characters are being making fun of. Now let's go I have a lot of snacks and drinks prepared. Till next time guys and don't forget to leave a review.


	15. Randomness, secrets & kidnapped Princess

xxxDreamingflowerxxx is finally back with a new chapter and I am so sorry for this for this super delay, but I was really in well emo state when I watched the last episode a few weeks ago and gosh the kiss scene was breathtaking I screamed so hard that my sis covered my mouth and well this chapter is also kinda long XD. I am starting to make new records in total words in a chapter funny isn't it? Anyway thank you readers and reviewers for well still being here XD. Oww and the part when Yuji is talking with the SnH telepathicaly are in italic.

Yuji: So you'll let us go now?

Me: NOOOOO! After the series ended I'll still stay a Shakugan on Shana fan and I'll never let you go I don't want you guys to leave!

Shana: For the last time we won't leave we can't leave since you want us here.

SnH: You've been hugging us for hours no weeks and I still don't find this comfortable.

Me: What never felt a woman's breast before…?

SnH: Are you a pervert?

Me: … no I was just joking and you're the pervert for thinking that.

Phirsyon: Please how much you want us to stay, but I am choking here and sweating like crazy there are too many people! I beg you!

Me: Stop complaining and let's start already! Samuel you have the honor to do the disclaimer this time!

Samuel: xxxDreamingflowerxxx doesn't own Shakugan no Shana or there will be a season 4 and 5 and so on…

* * *

><p>Chapter 13: Randomness, secrets &amp; kidnapped Princess<p>

**Sophie's POV**

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING USELESS BITCHES? HOW MANY TIMES DO I HAVE TO SAY GO GIVE THOSE MOTHER FUCKERS WHAT THEY DESERVE? USELESS FAGS! YOU'RE HITTING LIKE LITTLE GIRLS WHO'RE THROWING A TANTRUM BECAUSE THEIR FUCKING PARENTS WON'T BUY THEM SWEETS!"

It's been ten fucking hours since I send those useless tarts to battle and more than fifty percent of them are still slacking off! I looked to my right and I saw that mother fucking Centerhill walking around like an idiot. Since the moment we arrived that fucking bastard hasn't done a thing!

"FUCKING IDIOT OF A FLAME HAZE! CENTRERHILL DIDN'T I TOLD YOU TO GO AND TEAR THOSE ANNOYING TOMOGARA APART? WHY ARE YOU STILL HERE AND NOT EVEN MOVING YOUR LAZY ASS? GO AND DO SOMETHING FOR FUCKS SAKE!"

"B-b-but Sophie Sawallisch-sama, I-I-I still haven't found Tlaloc and without him I don't have the confidence to fight."

"WHAT, ARE YOU FUCKING GAY OR SOMETHING? THOSE THINGS ARE USELESS! THE ONLY THING THEY'RE GOOD AT IS TO COMPLAIN CRY AND FOR FOOLS LIKE YOU TO HAVE THE FEELING THAT YOU'RE NOT LONELY! STOP BEING A WHIMP AND GO ALREADY OR YOU'LL BE THE FIRST GUY WHO LOOSES HIS BALLS HERE!"

Centerhill stood there shivering like a stupid baby for a while until something caught his eye; "Tlaloc! OMG your safe! Thank god!"

He started to run toward that useless weak Guze no Ou.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile at Yuji and the others, Dantalion is busy with his next crazy invention.<p>

"EEEEEEXCEEEELEEEENT NOOOOW IIIIIS RRRREEEEEEAAAADYYYY FOOOOOR MYYY NEEEEEEXT EEEEEEXPEEEERIMEEENT! DOOOOMIIIINOOOOOO STAAAAAAART WIIIIITH THEEEE DEEEEVICCCEE!"

"Yes professor!"

Domino took the device that Dantalion was carrying on his back, while Dantalion took out some weird head device that looks like it can brainwash every person that wears it. He put the weird head device on his head and showed his thumps up to Domino.

"LEEET'SSSS STAAAART THEEEE EEEEEXPEEERIMEEEENT."

Domino pressed a few random buttons and…

* * *

><p>Back at Sophie<p>

"! Where are these tremors coming from?"

Suddenly everything started to shake, the ground split open, rocks started to fall and I saw the artifact where that stupid Tlaloc resided flying in the air again because of the impact.

"HEEELLLP MEEEE!"

"NOOO TLALOC COME BAAACK!"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! And so that wimpy Centerhill continued his stupid rescue mission to get his loser Guze no Ou back. It would have been better if I went to this war on my own. This one is even a bigger disaster than the one of a thousand years ago.

"Sophie Sawallisch-kun, these earthquakes could they mean?"

"Yeah Takemikazuchi, that horny snake must be appearing soon. Stupid slut failed in killing that fucking god! If she comes back I'm giving her the punishment she deserves HAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

**Normal POV**

The earthquakes started to occur all around the world; Most of the Outlaw building were already collapsing, city's started to flood, sleeping volcano's became active and death ones too. Avalanches occurred in the ice-cold mountains and in the lower parts people had to deal with rock slides, storms and explosions. Panic started to spread around the whole world.

"Someone help my family is buried under the debris!"

"My house was washed away!"

"MY BODY IS BURNING THE LAVA IS TOO HOT!"

"I lost my car and my dog was still inside it!"

"The subway collapsed and thousands of people are buried underneath... I think I am going to read the Angel Beats! novel..."

"All the electricity cables snapped and now we have no electricity."

"The nuclear facility in Fukushima exploded again!"

"I lost me leg! Can someone find it for me?"

"IT'S THE APOCALYPSE! WE'RE GOING TO DIE!"

"THE END OF THE WORLD IS NEAR EVERYONE RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!"

"NOOOO I DON'T WANAA DIE!"

* * *

><p>At the Hiyakki Yakou; a small Tomogara group that smuggles all kinds of things; from drugs, to humans, to Tomogara, weapons even extinguished animals. The only members of the group are; Gyuuki, Zemyna and Para, who also have the problem to deal with the natural disaster, while their house gets destroyed by the earthquakes.<p>

"… Our… our… our house… our house is…"

"Gyuuki what do we do now?"

"… It's… It's…"

"Zemyna I think it's better to let the boss cool down a bit and get over the fact that we're homeless no."

"Well then Para, do you know what we can do?"

"Actually I just received the Guze newspaper Tomogara times and according to the newspaper seems like the Souzoushin got married."

"Wasn't he sealed away by the evil bitch?"

"I guess he managed to escape after all those years. I wonder why it took him so long."

"I wonder who's the girl who married him. I didn't even know he could fall in love in the first place."

While Zemyna and Para continued their careless conversation Gyuuki entered a state where his mind lost all the reason.

"… MYYYYYYYYYYY HOUUUUUUUUUUUUUSEEEEEEEE MMMMMMMMMMYYYYYYYY ! MMMMMYYYYYYYYY !"

Zemyna looked at Gyuuki and sighed; "Geez don't fuss so much about it I mean you still have us and the van is still in top condition so we can still do our work."

Gyuuki turned to Zemyna and Para; "I want a new and modern car that is a villa at the same time and will make everyone that sees it jealous."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile SaihyōPheles; a Guze no Ou, who's a very close friend of Wilhelmina, is in the library reading some light novels.<p>

"*Snif snif* this story is so touching. If only Johan where here to read Highschool DxD with me."

Pheles looked up from her hentai novel when she noticed the tremors in the library.

"…? Where are these tremors coming from?"

But before she could stand up and check it out all the books that where near her fell on top of her and she was buried under thousands of Japanese light novels.

"Mppfh! My light novels! Can someone help me? Oh the Shakugan no Shana light novel, my favorite!"

* * *

><p>Somewhere in the sky a green light giving skate thingy soared through the sky carrying two Flame Haze; they are the Kyokkou no Ite Chiara Toscana. She's a young girl around the 16 with brown eyes and light brown hair braided in two pigtails. She's contracted to the twin Guze no Ou the Hagyou no Senku &amp; Sekiba no Goujin Outreniaia and Vetcherniaia. She together with her Guze no Ou have a very big Legend of Zelda: Twilight princess fetish. Her partner and boyfriend is a male around his thirties the Kikō no Kurite Sale Habichtsburg he's contracted to the Aya no Kenkei Gizo. He's not that fond of video games and especially Zelda. WHAT THE HELL IS THAT IDIOT THINKING? Anyway the two Flame Haze were on their way to the war until they suddenly had to deal with some rock slides that were caused thanks to that mad scientist.<p>

"Sale-san left from you!"

"Huh?"

Before Sale could do something the rocks collided on the two Flame Haze and they landed on the self-loving Dracula Mammon, who was admiring and drooling over himself in front of a mirror.

"My mirror, my beautiful reflection! NOOOOOOO!"

Sale sighed in irritation; "Just shut up you gay vampire."

* * *

><p>At Ribersal's unit after all the long traveling and trying to reach the battle front the poor unit had to run for their lives when an avalanche was coming towards them.<p>

"Pirsoyn don't let go of me! If you do you'll be buried under the snow! Seriously, what the hell is happening here?"

"It must be the Tantankyūkyū Dantalion's work, he is sending us a sign that our commander is arriving soon. I wonder what the point of creating natural disasters is. Neither side will benefit from this and at this rate… Wait… they'll be back… that means… that he also… NOOOOO #^*$&%! WE MUST KILL THAT DEMON WHEN HE COMES BACK, BEFORE HE TRAUMATIZES ANOTHER BEING WITH HIS HORRIBLE SONGS OH GOD HELP US!"

Ribersal sighed; "… Pirsoyn…"

**Yuji's POV**

So to everyone's surprise Sabrac just collapsed in front of us. It took me for a while to realize that he even lost conscious.

"So commander you think he's alright?"

I looked to Bel Peol and then back to Sabrac; "I have no idea, why did he collapse in the first place?"

"I can smell a strange scent from his breath. –De arimasu.

"Steroids."

I started at Caramel-san and Tiamat in astonishment; "What? But, Sabrac doesn't take steroids, does he?"

-_- "I saw oji-sama giving some steroids to Domino to stuff Sabrac with it so that he could help with his experiment."

Hecate was staring at Dantalion and Domino while she finished talking.

Sydonay looked surprised at Dantalion; "Professor, you do know that Tomogara don't react very well when they take drugs or steroids poor Kaijin he must be suffering.

A few seconds later the Tomogara ambulance appeared and took Sabrac with them. Well at least he can rest and let's hope he'll recover soon. After the ambulance left everyone stared at Dantalion

"WOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUULDDD AAAAAAANYYYYYYOOOOOONEEEEE EEEEELSEEEE TRRRYYYYYY THEEESEEEE STEEEERIIIIIOOOODS?"

**Sophie's POV**

Fuck! I guess the only way to stop that horny snake is to destroy that gate. At least I'll be also rid of that annoying thing, the slutty maid, the prison bitch, their useless Guze no Ou and my useless granddaughter with her shitty god that's also useless.

"TIME FOR THE SHITTY TRASH EXTINGUISHING KICK! TAKE THAT FUCKING HORNY SNAKE GOD!"

I used all my strength in this kick to get rid of the goddamned gate, but suddenly Lego blocks started to appear out of nowhere.

"? WHAT THE FUCK?"

Before I could finish my move I was send back because of the impact, there's only one fucking Tomogara that's able to make these shitty looking barriers. On top of one of Seireiden's towers that old nut was clinging to the roof while holding his spell up.

"THIS IS ENFURIATING… I… AM… WOUNDED… AND I HAVEN'T GOT… ANY MEDICAL TREATHMENT…!"

After that he collapsed on the floor.

"CURSE YOU RANTEN FECOR! YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS! WHEN I BEAT YOUR BOSS YOU'LL BE THE NEXT ONE TO SUFFER TILL DEATH I SWEAR IT ON YOUR BAD HEALTH! SUITS YOU WELL FOR DIEING I CAN'T WAIT TILL YOU REACH HELL!"

**Yuji's POV**

So after Sabrac was sent off to the hospital we were finally able to get out of the twisted Mario world.

"Ah fresh air, I am so happy that I can enjoy this great view after recovering my body now I need to proceed with the next step and…"

Before I could continue I was greeted by falling… AIRPLANES? And why do I see some artifact of Flame Haze falling in the air? Besides the strange object falling from the sky all the Tomogara and Flame Haze stopped fighting and were staring at my giant body after a few seconds loud cheers were heard everywhere.

"Huh I didn't know I was also very loved by Flame Haze… What's going on?"

"~The rain that should fall makes me feel wet

My lovely children it's no time for bed

Let me lick your body cream

I feel so aroused when I hear you scream

Everyone let's join together

Remembering this feeling forever

Don't hold your legs closed in

Open them up so I can make your head spin

Cute petanko girl please line up

Let's make it fast before the time is up

So at least you can all suck my… GYYAAAAA!~"

I kicked him of before he could finish his annoying song. I already warned him that he'd be thrown of my body if he starts singing.

"Well now that's been taken care of I only need too…"

"COMMANDER HOW CAN YOU BE SO HEARTLESS?"

I looked down at the owner of the voice and I saw Fecor lying there in a pool of blood with a very angry expression on his face.

"Uhm you're talking about yourself right?"

"OF COURSE I AM I'VE BEEN LYING HERE FOR HOURS! MY BODY IS NOW UNABLE TO MOVE AND THAT STUPID TOMOGARA AMBULANCE HAS COMPLETELY FORGOTTEN ABOUT ME!"

Not long after a Tomogara ambulance arrived to pick up Fecor… well talk about convenience.

"We're very sorry that we didn't come straight right away Ranten Fecor as an apology you don't need to pay for any appointment that you canceled and we'll pay for this treatment."

"…! FINALLY JUSTICE IN THE WORLD! I CAN FINALLY BE AT PEACE!"

And so Fecor was sent off to the Tomogara hospital… there goes another one I guess… I guess things got very complicated while I was gone… I kept staring at the scene that is supposed to be a war against the Flame Haze until a small object landed next to me. It looks like it belongs to a Flame Haze…

"Uhm excuse me, but could you help me please?"

"…? Oh so you are a Guze no Ou… what are you doing here and where's your contractor?"

"I am the Shuchō no Tsudumi, Tlaloc the Guze no Ou of one of the Daichi no Shishin. The Saikyō no Morite Centerhill is my contractor. We were thrown off the plane by the Shin'I no Yuite Sophie Sawallisch-sama and when Centerhill was about to get me, earthquakes started to appear and I got thrown in the air by the impact. Please help me I need to go back to my contractor!"

I blinked a few times, trying to comprehend what he told me. Suddenly I heard a voice approaching.

"TLALOOOOC! ARE YOU OKAAAY?"

I looked up to see a middle-aged Indian man flying to me. I guess he must be the Saikyō no Morite Centerhill. So if one of the Daichi no Shishin is here does that mean that the others are here too? Should I attack him or see what he'll do after he gets his Guze no Ou back? He doesn't look like he's in the mood to fight… He looks more like he's been tortured and traumatized for life. He picked up his artifact and started to hug it very tight.

"TLALOC! I AM SOO HAPPY THAT YOU'RE SAVE! SAIREI NO HEBI THANK YOU VERY MUCH! THANK YOU!"

He bowed to me and flew off back to his comrades. I kept starting at him in confusion.

"_Hey alter ego, are we in the right dimension or is this some twisted world where we ended up in thanks to Dantalion's invention?"_

"_You think I know? I am as surprised and confused as you."_

I looked back at the scenery in front of me, when I suddenly felt Shana hiding behind me almost shivering.

"Shana, do you love me that much that you want me to protect you? I am so happy!"

I turned around trying to hug her, but she turned me back with an annoyed look on her face.

"Be quiet Yuji and make sure no one sees me." She whispered.

I blinked a few times "Huh?"

"_Sakai Yuji I must remind you about what we need to do now remember."_

"_Ohh yeah the speech, I guess it'll be rude to let everyone else wait longer."_ I took a few steps further and took a deep breath before I began with my speech.

"MY COMRADES, NOW THAT I'VE RETRIEVED MY BODY I CAN DECLARE THAT STEP TWO OF THE GRAND ORDER IS FINISHED! NOW IT'S FINALLY TIME TO PROCEED WITH THE THIRD AND LAST STEP OF THE GRAND ORDER! WITH IS…"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP WITH YOUR LAME SPEECHES! IT'S HURTING MY EARS JUST HEARING YOUR FUCKING VOICE IS MAKING ME SICK AND YOU USELESS SLUTTY GRANDDAUGHTER OF MINE! IF YOU THINK THAT HIDING BEHIND YOUR HORNY BOYFRIEND WILL MAKE YOU INVISIBLE, THEN YOU'RE DAMN WRONG!"

I felt Shana flinch behind me when the Shin'i no Yuite called her. That old hag is always getting on my nerves.

"I'm surprised that you're still alive after all those years old bitch! I'd thought that you'd rot away because of your age and that rotten heart of yours. AS I WAS SAYING, THE THIRD STEP OF THE GRAND ORDER WILL BE THE CREATION OF A COMPLETE NEW WORLD! ONE THAT IS FILLED WITH POWER OF EXISTENCE SO THAT YOU DON'T NEED TO DEVOUR HUMANS ANYMORE AND IT'LL BE CALLED XANADU. I'LL CREATE THAT PLACE IN THE SAME PLACE WHERE MY BODY WAS SEALED AWAY FOR THOUSANDS OF YEARS! SO BE JOYFUL! BE HAPPY! OUR DREAM WILL FINALLY COME TRUE!"

"THAT WAS THE MOST GAY SOUNDING SPEECH I'VE HEARD IN MY LIVE! EVEN A FAGGOT CAN DO BETTER! OHH EVERYONE CAN LIVE A HAPPY LIVE IN HAPPINESS AND WALK ACROSS FIELDS WITH GAY FLOWERS! YEAH WHAT A TERRIFIC DREAM! SUITS PERFECT FOR TRASH LIKE YOU!"

"I prefer being in that gay world of mine, than your world that exists out of old tarts playing bingo all the time in a rehabilitation Centre."

"Yuji are you out of your…? Wait how do you know my gramps? And why do you sound so smart?"

I turned my head to Shana who was still using me as some kinda shield her hands holding my clothes very thigh. If only we were in a private room, I'd take her immediately. She looks so cute with that curious face that she has now.

"Know her? I hate her Shana. Who else locked my body away in that twisted world? But if it wasn't for that old hag, I would never have met you. So I am a bit grateful for that and what do you mean with sounding smart?"

"YOU MOTHER FUCKED UP IDIOT! YOU THINK I SEALED YOU AWAY SO THAT YOU CAN MEET THAT SLUTTY GRANDDAUGHTER OF MINE? IN YOUR DREAMS I ONLY WANT TO SEE YOU SUFFER! USELESS GRANDDAUGHTER, DON'T STAND THERE BEHIND THAT IDIOT AND ATTACK THAT HORNY GOD!"

"DON'T YOU DARE TO INSULT MY WIFE OR FORCING HER INTO DOING SOMETHING, SHE DOESN'T WANT TO DO!"

"!... Yu… Yuji… you shouldn't have… said that… out… loud…"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHA! I KNEW IT! SHE IS JUST LIKE HER MOTHER, A BIG SLUT!"

I turned to look at Shana again hoping that she'll explain to me what the Shin'i no Yuite meant, she looked as surprised as I was. Her head popped up behind my shoulder with a bothered expression on her face. She really looks so cute when she's doing that.

"Wait, what do you mean? You knew my mom? Isn't she supposed to be dead?"

I faced the Shin'i no Yuite again demandingt an explanation from her; "I thought that Shana was an orphan and was found by one of Alastor's subordinates. Explain what you mean with that!"

I noticed Alastor sweat dropping and looking a bit tense… kinda weird since he's a pendant but everything is possible here.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAH! OF COURSE I KNOW YOUR IDIOTIC PARENTS! WHO DO YOU THINK RAISED YOU ALL THIS TIME?"

Shana looked like she was in deep thought until her face became pale.

"YOU MEAN THAT WILHELMINA AND SHIRO ARE MY PARENTS?"

Upon hearing her name Caramel-san turned her head to Shana; "-De arimasu?"

"NO YOU STUPID IDIOT! LOOK AT YOUR DAMN PENDANT!"

Shana started to look at Alastor; "Alastor, have you known my parents?"

*sweat drops* "Uhm you know melon pan is a very old product it's been invented ages ago before I came to earth."

… I felt like my heart was stirring he's hiding something and even my alter ego noticed.

"Tenjou no Gouka… you're her biological father, aren't you?"

"…"

"I remember when I was still in Guze I heard, that my other two colleagues fell in love with Flame Haze."

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! NOW YOU SUCKER JOINED THE CLUB OF THOSE TWO IDIOTS MAKING THE GROUP COMPLETE AGAIN! HAHAHAHAH!"

Shana was silence the whole time looking as if she was in some kind of trance. She blinked a few times and snapped out of her trance and looked at her pendant.

"Uhm Alastor, does that mean that the previous Enpatsu Shakugan no Uchite was my mother, but how did I end up in an orphanage then and those other children that got missing there and the scary people who worked there and how where you able to keep me alive when I was at Tendōkyū?"

"… I guess it's no use hiding it anymore. It's been a very long time when your mother and I met. She was a very attractive woman and we loved each other a lot, but well you know how she died already didn't you? After your mother died I had… well a little fight with your grandmother about your custody and well in all the commotion we lost you... and well a few years later Shiro found you. As for your time on the orphanage… the missing kids I guess you devoured them in your sleep and the screams must come for the kids that you devoured, there is a possibility that one of the people who worked there found you devouring the kids in your sleep and told the other workers about it. I mean screaming kids, people should be able to hear that and you know how humans are, the things they don't understand they see them as monsters and try to get rid of them remember what happened to Tis? As for your diet in Tendōkyū you seem to be able to survive fine as long as you eat melon pan. That was your replacement for power of existence."

"… Wait I have a biological grandma? And if you guys lost me why haven't you looked for me? What kind of parent losses his kid? Wasn't my mom, your Flame Haze and that happened a long time ago, how old am I? And if you're my dad won't that make me also part…"

"Well your mother had a mom right so of course you have a grandmother, sadly she was very strict and wasn't that happy with me, she blames me for what happened to Mathilde that's why she wanted custody over you so after my fight for your custody everything was a complete mess and that's how we lost you. Of course we were looking everywhere for you, who'd thought you'll end up in an orphanage in Japan. She became my contractor after we had you so I can say you're pretty old but time is not really something we care about. Well you used to be partly Tomogara but after you made a contract you became a full Flame Haze and well you know the rest of the story."

… This is way too much information for me how am I supposed to understand this?

"_Don't worry Sakai Yuji, it's just like the torture I went through in chapter one, just ask the Tenjou no Gouka for an explanation for your brain capacity and in two months you'll understand everything."_

"_Are you making fun of me?"_

"_Actually I am, and you have no idea how great that feels."_

"_We're supposed to work together remember. We're not like those lazy Flame Haze who only work for the Shin'i no Yuite against their will." _

"_That's true, but there were many times where I wanted to smack my head against a wall because of your stupid comments and actions. Have you any idea how embarrassed I felt when Bel Peol found you kissing a pillow and when the __Rasen no Fūkin caught you making out with the Enpatsu Shakugan no Uchite, or how about when you dragged her into the cursed bath and keep pushing her to have children with you."_

"_My comments aren't stupid, the reason I kissed a pillow was because I missed Shana so much. What's wrong about making out with the girl you love? Leanan-Shide should have knocked and not barging in the room without any warning, that's very rude. Besides its normal for a married couple to take a bath together everyone does it and what's wrong with wanting to have children with her? How many married couples are parents? My parents got me and soon my little brother will be born. This is completely normal."_

"_Normally the women are the ones who want children… but since it's you, I shouldn't be surprised. At least this won't be like a Clannad after story ending."_

I decided to ignore him and turned to Shana; "At least everything ended up well, right? You found your dad you discovered your heritage and now it's officially proven that we can have children!"

"… eh… eh… eh… ch… ch… that… that… isn't necessary… I mean I… still have too much to learn about social contact…"

"As your husband I can help you with that darling."

"… Alastor?"

"It's not up to me to decide Shana it's up to you two."

"Ehhhh? But… but… but I…"

"HAHAHAHAHAH NOW I GUESS THIS TIME THE THIRD GENERATION WILL BE THORN APART! THIS TIME I'LL MAKE SURE YOU'LL BE COMPLETELY MISERABLE WHEN WE DEFEAT YOU! NOW USELESS SLUT GET BACK HERE!"

Before I could do anything the Shin'i no Yuite grabbed Shana, Wilhelmina and the other two Flame Haze and dragged them back to her fort.

"SHAAAAANAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

"YUUUUJIIIII!"

**Normal POV**

Yuji stood there feeling helpless after Shana was taken away from him in front of his eyes…

"Heheheheh so it's like that isn't it? Until she destroys my relationship with Shana and sees me miserable she'll go this far only for her own greed…"

Bel Peol looked up at her commander with a questioned look; "Commander? What do you mean?"

"Let's see if she still is able to stand against me if she sees her own army falling apart."

Bel Peol looked at Sydonay and Hecate; "Guys I think the commander isn't feeling so fine…"

"*Sniff sniff* Poor commander the person he loves the most is taken away from him and he wasn't able to do anything. That's so sad."

"Sydonay for the last time you and Hecate will never be together!"

-_- "I think, this is going to be interesting."

Yuji ignored the Trinity and started to look at the battlefield with a very scary expression in his face.

"BEL PEOL, SYDONAY, HECATE!"

"… Yes commander?" They asked in unison.

"Get Shana back and Kill and destroy any Flame Haze that gets in the way! DON'T SHOW THEM ANY MERCY! THAT GOES FOR EVERY MEMBER OF BAL MASQUÉ GET THAT! FIGHT YOUR WAY THROUGH OUR VICTORY AND MAKE SURE YOU WON'T SPARE ANYONE!"

Immediately all the members of Ball Masqué let out a very loud battle cry and they all started to attack the Flame Haze at full power. Most of the Flame Haze tried to fight back, other's tried to run away and hide in fear and some were so shocked about the happenings that they couldn't do anything. Many Flame Haze got killed, while Sophie is looking from her save fort in satisfaction.

"HAHAAHAHAHAH! FINALLY THOSE USELESS TRASHES STARTED TO MOVE AND BE USEFULL!"

She went downstairs to the room with a virtual map of the whole battle field. She turned her head to the door of the storage room, where Shana, Wilhelmina, Rebecca, Khamsin and their Guze no Ou were locked up.

"DON'T THINK THAT I'LL LET YOU OUT OF THERE! YOU FAILED TO KILL THAT BASTARD OF A PERVERT SNAKE, YOU DIDN'T EVEN SCRATCH HIM AND THEY AREN'T SEALED UP IN THE MARIO RIFT! AS PUNISHMENT YOU'LL ONLY HAVE AN OPPORTUNITY TO LEAVE WHEN I SAY YOU CAN!"

In the storage room Shana is sulking in a corner, while Rebecca tries to cheer her up.

"Come on Nietono no, it's not that bad I mean at least you're locked up with your friends and your dad is also here with you… in the form of a pendant. This is better than having to stand next to the fucking bitch and hearing her insults and complains."

"Ne ne daddy, are we playing hide and seek now? Who's counting? Is this a good hiding place? It's so dark in here I can't see anything. Do you have candy? Hey hey daddy, daddy listen are we? Are we?"

"*Sigh* Yes we are playing hide and seek Khamsin Nbh'W now be very quiet so that the Shin'i no Yuite Sophie Sawallisch won't find us."

"Yes daddy!"

Wilhelmina was also in a corner, but for a different reason than Shana's.

"So confused… don't… know… what… to do. –De arimasu… Kill the Mystes… or the hateful old hag… –De arimasu. The Mystes takes Shana away from me… but old hag makes her miserable… –De arumasuka. Hate the old hag more than the Mystes… but Mystes' arrogance is making my blood boil. –De arimasuka… The Mystes took her innocence away… old hag possibly will take her life… –De arimasen. After she tortured her… and the Mystes is the only one who's able… to go against her… without getting traumatized… He can save us all from a terrible future…-De arimashou."

"I recommend the old hag."

* * *

><p>Meanwhile at Sophie's…<p>

"THAT FUCKING GOD! WHY DOES HE ALWAYS HAVE TO ACT LIKE THAT! HOW I HATE HIM SO MUCH! NOW WE'RE LOSING… THERE MUST BE A WAY TO GET OUT OF HERE WITHOUT A SCRATCH! … I GOT IT SAMUEL YOU AND YOUR SUCKY TROOPS CAN GO OUTSIDE TO BE THE DECOY, WHILE EVERYONE CAN ESCAPE ESPECIALLY ME! WE'LL BE HEADING TO TENDŌKYŪ!"

Samuel was shocked and scared by Sophie's declaration, but he's always scared when she's present and she always uses the Flame Haze for her own desires… so he was only shocked.

"B-but Sophie Sawallisch-sama I thought that Tendōkyū fell the moment the Enpatsu Shakugan no Uchite made her contract with the Tenjou no Gouka."

Sophie turned around to Samuel with a devil face and punches him very hard in the face. Thanks to that Samuel lost his balance and fell on the ground.

"FUCKING IDIOT! HAVEN'T YOUR SLUTTY PARENTS TOLD YOU TO USE YOUR BRAIN? HOW WAS IT POSSIBLE FOR THAT SLUTTY MAID, THE PRISON BITCH AND THAT THING TO ENTER SEIREIDEN UNNOTICED? THE ONLY POSSIBILITY IS TO USE THE HOUGU TENDŌKYŪ! SO IT MUST BE HIDDEN SOMEWHERE NEAR THESE MOUNTAINS! THEY THINK THEY CAN OUTSMART ME BY HIDING THESE FACTS? HAH THEY'RE DAMN WRONG! THOSE IDIOTS ARE DAMN WRONG THANKS TO THE INTERNET EVERYTHING IS POSSIBLE! HAHAHAHAHAH!"

Suddenly the sound of thunder was hard in the narrow room. Samuel, François, Centerhill and their Guze no Ou immediately flinched, while Sophie only got confused.

"How come I hear thunder when I laugh sometimes?"

"Figures, Sophie Sawallisch-kun."

Sophie turned around to face the three Flame Haze; that were sitting on the ground, petrified in fear and threw a table at them.

"YOU FUCKING IDIOTS STOP BITCHING AROUND AND BE USEFULL! NOW GO!"

"! YES SOPHIE SAWALLISCH-SAMA." They said in unison.

Sophie turned around to the closet where Shana and the others were being held. She grinned and tore the door open, grabbing Shana and the other and dragging them out.

"LISTEN, YOU FUCKING TRASHES! I AM GOING TO USE YOU AS HOSTAGES SO THAT I CAN ESCAPE SAFELY WITHOUT A SCRATCH! IF YOU VALUE YOUR LIVES, DON'T EVEN THINK ABOUT ESCAPING YOU GOT THAT?"

Sophie dragged Shana and the others to the escape route, but stopped and turned her head to François and Centerhill.

"YOU TWO WILL ALSO BE HELPING THAT OLD USELESS TART! AS FOR THE PRISON BITCH AND THE THING! I WANT YOU TWO TO KILL EVERY TOMOGARA THAT GETS IN MY WAY!"

"EHHHHHHH?

* * *

><p>A few kilometers away Rofocale, who was pushed off the giant snake body of Yuji by Yuji himself, walks away from the battle field while playing his terrible song and with no one to stop him.. well we know what will happen... also his body was covered in bandages…<p>

"~My work here is finally done ouch…

This deserves a super nice song ouch…

With all the children running around ouch…

I feel like wanted to hear their nice sound ouch…

I take your pants and lick your impurities away ouch…

Yes in my arms is where you're save ouch…

Come on kids let's feel the joy ouch…

In hearing the sound of your moaning voice ouch…

I also need to report to the higher up ouch…

Or else she'll kick me in the guts ouch...

My body hurts so much ouch…~"

… Let's skip the rest of the song, since he's getting on my nerves again…

* * *

><p>At Dantalion and Domino, who got back to their lab to finish their 'oohhh so important research'. Domino had something that was going around his head for a while and the Rinne was super desperate to know the truth; "Professor, I have a question about that Rofocale guy, he's not officially part of Bal Masqué, right? What was he doing here? And why did the commander allowed him to walk around here freely after all the damage that he has done?"<p>

"HMMMMM WEEEEEEEELLL AAAAACOOOOORRRRDIIIIIING TOOOO THEEEE RRRUUUUUMOOOOOORRRS IIIII'VEEEE HEEEAAAAAAARRRRD, THAAAAAAT TOOOOMOOOOGAAAAARRRRRAAA SEEEEERRRRVEEEES THEEEE THIIIIIIRD GOOOOOOD OOOOOF GUUUUZEEEE. HEEEEEE'S SUUUUPOOOOOSEEEEE TOOOO OOOOOBSEEEEERVEEE THEEE HAAAAAPEEEEENIIIIINGS IIIIIN THIIIIIS WOOOOORRRRLD AAAAAND REEEEEEPOOOOOORRRRRT TOOO HIIIIS MAAAAASTEEEEER FOOOOOORRRRR AAAAANYYYYY !"

"Really wow he must be very devoted to serve his master."

"AAAACTUAAAAALLYYYYYY AAAAACOOOORRRRDIIIIIING TOOOOO THEEEEE RRRRUUUUUMOOOOORRRRS THAAAAAAT'S AAAAAAN EEEEEEXCUUUUUSEEEE TOOOO DUUUUUUMMP THEEEE NOOOO HEEEEEIIII ROOOFOOOOCAAALEEE, SOOOOO THAAAAAT THEEEEE MIIIICHIIIIBIIIIIKIIIII NOOOOO KAAAAAMIIII WIIIIIILLLL HAAAAAAVEEEEEE MOOOOORRRREEEEE TIIIIIIMEEEE AAAAAWAAAAAAY FRRRROOOOM HIIIIM, SIIIIIINCEEEEE EEEEVEEEEEN THEEEEE GOOOOOOODS AAAARRRREEEEEEN'T AAAAABLEEEEE TOOOOOO STAAAAAAND HIIIIIIS SOOOOOONGS! IIII HEEAAAAARRRRRD THAAAAAAT THEEEEE MIIIIIICHIIIIIBIIIKUUUU NOOOOO KAAAAAMIIIII HAAAAS AAAA VEEEERRRRYYYY BAAAAAD TEEEEMPEEEEERRRR AAAAND THAAAT IIIIT'SSS SMAAAART TOOO NOOOT GEEET OOOON HEEEERRRR BAAAAD SIIIIDEEEE."

"Professor aren't you almost the same? You use the Tomogara here for your own biding and when you don't need them you throw them away like they're some …OUCH OUCH OUCH!"

So Domino had to spend the rest of the day getting pinched by Dantalion.

* * *

><p>At Lamies'<p>

Lamies is walking around in Seireiden that thanks to Khamsin and Rebecca needs a lot of work to be as good as new again. Upon hearing the arrival of the commander he looks up in the sky and observes the giant snake that has appeared in the sky; "So that's the second appearance of the commander… I wonder how we'll be able to move with a snake of that size… he could be better used for a rollercoaster."

**Samuel's POV**

I'd never imagined that the author sees me worthy enough to have my own POV… *Sob* I am so honored, so my life has a meaning! I promise I won't disappoint you author!

* * *

><p>A: There are too many weirdoes here that I don't care anymore what you say just continue with the story…<p>

* * *

><p>So the Shiei no Hajite François, the Gorō no Koite Centerhill and I have been sent to the slaughter field as decoys to let that horrible monster escape… but it's very hard to stay alive they're so fierce and strong… their commander really is something to get them so agitated with only a few words… I am getting scared. I see the poor Shiei no Hajite almost being tortured by this; he's never been a fighter to begin with… I guess that's why he gets raped all the time… and the Fuchi no Reisen can't to do a thing, since she's Gaara's urn.<p>

"This is the worst thing that monster made us do!" I heard him complain.

"Are you sure? Is this even worse than rape?"

The Shiei no Hajite's face turned pale, maybe all the horrifying memories that he suppressed are coming back… oops.

" NONONONO DON'TTOUCHMEDON'TPLEASEIAMUGLYGIRLS DON'T FIND ME ATRACTIVE ILIVEDWITH MYMOMBEFORE SHE DIED…. I AM WEAK I COULDN'T EVEN BEAT MY FIVEYEAROLDSISTERIN ARM WRESTLING I GOT TEASED BY 10 YEAR OLD KIDS. PLEASEDON'TDON'TCOME NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

… Maybe I should help him, since we're kinda in the same boat. I noticed that the Gorō no Koite, was nowhere to be seen. I looked around and saw him on a rock cleaning the artifact that contained the will of his Guze no Ou…

"*Sniff sniff* I am so happy that we're together again Centerhill. This has been such a traumatic experience. *Sniff sniff*"

"I know what you mean Tlaloc and don't cry I'll promise that you'll be clean as soon as possible and I'll make sure we won't be separated again."

"*Sob* OWWW CENTERHILL I LOVE YOU! *sob*"

"Sorry, but I am not gay… I also love you Tlaloc… but as a partner of course."

"*Sweat drops* Of course Centerhill."

* * *

><p>At Haborym, who's doing quite well in the war…<p>

"It's time to show those Flame Haze some major action guys take out the new electromagnetic cannon that we purchased!"

Out of the ground on shutter opened and a giant modern looking canon came out…. WTF has Bal Masqué with technology it's all the newest and greatest model.

"It's the twenty-first century of course everything is high-tech and it's all about technology. I am sure even the readers agree. This cannon beats the canon that was used by Ganondorf and Bowser in Super Smash Bros. Brawl adventure mode! Instead of transforming the targets in trophies we kill our targets and the coolest thing is that this cannon is able to use AOE attacks!"

* * *

><p>A: What the hell this isn't a video game…<p>

* * *

><p>"Well, it should be a video game! Guys time to fire!"<p>

! This sound… Ow no! They're going to fire a super cannon at us… There's only one way to survive this and since we're in China… "Everyone time for action! We can't be defeated this fast it's time for plan 5.6!"

We all started to run at super speed, carrying rocks and piled them up as soon as we could in five minutes the Great Chinese wall was formed to shield us from the laser beam. I could see Haborym's shocked expression; despise the fact that he wears masks on both his heads. We were drinking buddies in the past so I can read his face with or without a mask on.

"How were you guys able to build that so fast?"

"Our special Flame Haze training gives us the ability to be able to build at super speed once we've built something before, we can build everything else at super speed. So hire us quick and you can hire a second Flame Haze for free. May it be building houses, theme parks, or a whole city we can do it in seconds and we're also very cheap! Call 012 5500943 fast and you'll even get a nice welcome package. We can also give special service for an extra price."

* * *

><p>A: Seems like Sophie even did some experiments on them, and look, how twisted they became… they learn things almost like robots… I'd like to hire one actually.<p>

* * *

><p>Meanwhile Sophie is standing at a very safe place looking how the Flame Haze are struggling to stay alive…<p>

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! Serves them right! Now let's go!"

Shana and the others flinched at the sound of Sophie's evil laugh.

**Yuji's POV**

"SHAAANAAAA! GIVE SHANA BACK TO ME!"

I tried to get to Shana as fast as I could I slaughtered every Flame Haze that got in my way. I won't allow anyone who separates me from my wife unpunished they'll all pay no matter who it is! Some Flame Haze tried to flee and others were trying to fight back, but to no avail. I can't believe that they haven't giving up.

"FLAME HAZE! IT'S USELESS TO KEEP ON FIGHTING! AFTER XANADU IS CREATED EVEN YOU WILL BE ABLE TO BE AT PEACE AND THE BALANS OF THE WORLD WON'T BE IN DANGER!"

"Who cares about that?"

"Yeah what's the use of Xanadu if we're still getting tormented by the Shin'i no Yuite Sophie Sawallisch!"

"As long as she's alive we can't do anything we want to do!"

"Yeah and we didn't even volunteered to come here in the first place!"

"Yeah we were forced by the Shin'i no Yuite to come!"

"I don't give a damn if the balance of the world gets destroyed!"

"We don't care if the Tomogara are devouring humans!"

"We don't give a damn about humans either!"

"Yeah we're tired if we could choose we'd all want to stay home and drink some warm chocolate!"

"I haven't even found my Guze no Ou yet!"

… I don't know what to say…

_"I'm shocked at the lack of motivation those Flame Haze have. I know that Bal Masqué isn't perfect, but even they are prepared to fight for their comrades."_

I sighed at the remark my alter ego made._ "Yeah… If I remember how Margery-san and Caramel-san are they show more motivation than the Flame Haze here."_

"If you don't care about the world balance… then why did you made a contract with a Guze no Ou in the first place?"

"For eternal life!"

"To defend myself against bullies!"

"I wanted to stay beautiful forever!"

"I am too scared to die!"

"I wanted to become rich!"

"I wanted to have super powers!"

"I wanted to fly!"

"I wanted to kill the people that I hate!"

… again I was speechless by the reply of the Flame Haze… they are so selfish… Shana at least cares for others… okay when I met her she didn't give a damn about the life of others either, but now she does and she loves me!

"_I can't believe how lazy Flame Haze have become. They used to try to protect the world and hunt down all the Tomogara that were a threat to the balance of the world and how they don't care about the world they live in?" _

"_Maybe they never cared about the war in the first place, but the one that was pulling the strings for their actions was the __Shin'i no Yuite. Suddenly all the Flame Haze dropped their weapons and started to cry."_

"WAAAHAAAAA! OUR LIFE SUCKS SO BAD EVEN THOUGHT WE GET SUPER POWERS AND WE'RE IMMORTAL, BUT WE STILL CAN'T DO AS WE PLEASE WAAAAHAAA!

All the Tomogara also stopped fighting and were staring about the shocking event that was in front of us… none knew what to say about this. A few kilometers away from me I could detect the Shin'i no Yuite dragging Shana and the others away from the battle field disappearing behind a boulder.

"! SHAAAANAAA!"

**Normal POV**

A few hours later a very sad Yuji is in emo mode sitting in a corner sobbing about losing his wife.

"… *sob* Shana… Shana… my Shana *sob* come back to me please… *sob* I'll give you anything you want and I'll promise to do whatever you want me to do *sob* just come back to my side. *sob*"

While Yuji stays in emo mode Ribersal, Pirsoyn and his unit finally arrives… took them long enough. Bel Peol walked up to them.

"What took you so long?"

"I am so sorry Bel Peol-sama, but we were hindered by some poison and intoxicated boulders and other poisonous things, if it weren't for the author's protection we would have died by the hands of the Shin'i no Yuite. Our whole path looked like some level from the Xenoblade game or a Final Fantasy game and we had no choice but to take a very long detour also those natural disasters that the professor created slowed us down even more, but at least we have arrived and we can now finally help in winning this… war? Hey where are the Flame Haze?"

-_- "*Nom nom*Seems like *nom nom* the author is good for something at least *nom nom* than only making fun of the characters *nom nom*." Hecate said while eating a dessert.

* * *

><p>A: DON'T INSULT ME DESSERT GIRL!<p>

* * *

><p>Bel Peol sighed; "You guys arrived very late, so the war has been over for a while, the good news is we won the war, although it doesn't feel like victory after I've seen the behavior of the Flame Haze."<p>

Pirsoyn walked up to Bel Peol and Ribersale and looked around; "Where's Purson-sama? And OMG FINALLY THAT TERRIBLE TRAUMATIC PEDO SINGER IS GONE FINALLY COMMANDER I LOVE YOU SO MUCH! I AM FINALLY RID OF THE DAYS WHERE I HAVE TO HIDE TO AVOID THAT TOMOGARA! JUSTICE HAD FINALLY ARRIVED!"

"… Shana…"

"Oww about him well, thanks to the experiments of the professor he turned into a kitten. I guess that's what you get for offering yourself as a guinea pig to get weapons from him and… it seems that the Kishaku no Makite took him as a pet… at least we know he won't be harmed…"

Ribersal frowned; "So our group of four became a group of three… by the way what happened to the commander? He looks horrible."

"Shana… Shana… Shana… Shana… she isn't here anymore… I couldn't protect her… I am a terrible husband… I couldn't protect her… she took her… and I just stood there… like an idiot… I didn't do a thing… and just stood there… Shana is… Shana is… gone… she's… SHAAANAAAAA! PLEASE RETURN TO ME! LET ME SEE THAT CUTE HAPPY FACE OF YOURS AND YOUR CRAZY MELON PAN AND GAME FETISH! I WILL DO ANYTHING TO MAKE YOU HAPPY ANYTHING! PLEASE COME BACK! SHANAAAAA!"

Now Sydonay joined the conversation holding a napkin and trying to dry his tears; "Our poor Commander… he may have won the war, *sob* but the princess was taken away from him *sob* by that demon the Shin'i no Yuite Sophie Sawallisch *sob*. This is the most cruel thing she ever did to him *sob* poor commander *sob* he must be devastated *sob* the love of his live was taken away from him *sob*UUUUHHHWAAAAAHAAAAAAUAAAAA!"

"Sydonay you do know that Hecate won't give a damn about you how many times do I have to say this? You and Hecate will never be together!"

"… UUUHHHHWWWWAAAAWAAAAAAAAA! NOOON ONOOONONONOOONOOOO IT'S NOT TRUE! IT'S NOT TRUE! *sob sob* MY HECATEEE-CHAAAAN!"

-_- "Please let me shoot him or can't we just dump him somewhere? I wanna cut his throat and let him bleed to dead if that's possible or give him a mental torture. Can I castrate him please?"

Al the other Bal Masqué members ignored to familiar conversation of the Trinity that they heard a million times and just stared at their commander completely speechless, and since none of them knew anything about love they weren't able to do anything for their commander. They had no idea how they could cheer him up.

"Soo…" Stolas started; "Do we have to continue with the plan or do we have to rescue the princess?"

* * *

><p>Victim list:<p>

Purson – transformed into a kitten

Urvall – absorbed into Nietono no Shana

Other Tomogara that were victimized by Shana and Tenmoku Ikko – absorbed into Nietno no Shana

Ninjas – absorbed into Nietno no Shana

Samurais – absorbed into Nietono no Shana

Judo masters – absorbed into Nietono no Shana

Sumo wrestlers – absorbed into Nietono no Shana

Decarabia. – Hospitalized

Sabrac – Hospitalized

Fecor – Hospitalized

* * *

><p>OMG another super long chapter, but it was worth it I hoped you guys liked it and wow Sophie is such a heartless bitch I can't believe how long this chapter took me to write and I think I broke a new record in total words heheheh and special thanks to my sis, lightbitcloud, Kathiita, Animel0ver00 and Sacchin I am really happy with your reviews and support. :D<p>

Bel Peol: We promise that we'll always be here if you let us go… I mean you can watch the anime as much as you want.

Me: … But, but there won't be any new YujiXShana scenes T^T.

Yuji: You really love me and Shana that much?

Me: Kinda and I love you as a couple too.

SnH: So you'll let us go now?

Me: Hahaha nice try, but no I'll make sure you'll stay here forever!

Shana: You have… fanfiction for that, remember.

Me: I guess that's true and I need to wait till all the volumes of the light novel are translated so that I can read the rest. :D

Hecate: You have issues.

Me: I know right and I don't care what people think about that hahahah!

Sydonay: Is that why you're able to write such… unique stories.

Me: Heheh who knows anyways thanks for reading guys and don't forget to review. I can spoil you guys that the next chapter will be a special chapter. My sis gave me the idea and maybe if I am able to post on time I'll write a special Easter chapter too. Anyways happy early Easter guys till the next time and don't forget to leave a review!


	16. Spring game Special: Part 1

This special is split into two chapters, since it was getting too long. I hope you guys didn't wait too long and I am very sorry for the late update. I started writing on a Shakugan no Shana/ Pokémon crossover so I am working on two stories at the same time. For those who are interested go check it out. I've posted two chapters for that story.

Note: The sentences that are underlined, are the judges speaking through a microphone and I'll short my name to Flower sometimes, since it's getting annoying writing my whole account name every time.

Disclaimer: Shakugan no Shana belongs to Yashichiro Takahashi. I only came up with this twisted story.

* * *

><p>Spring game Special: Part 1<p>

xxxDreamingflowerxx: "Welcome ladies and gentlemen to our special Shakugan no Shana Spring game! I know it's a bit random, but it's a parody, so who cares? As you will see I; xxxDreamingflowerxxx am making my first and only official/ non fourth wall breaking appearance in this story as one of the judges of this super awesome game! I thank you all the reviewers and readers for reading my story"

"This is the most random chapter ever. You must have something up your sleeve and aren't you suppose to thank all the readers and reviewers in the author's note?" Shana said.

xxxDreamingflowerxx: "… Who cares? I wanted to do something completely different. Plus all the missions you guys have to do are completely unique and since I am a judge of this game it doesn't matter if I thank them here or in an authors note. In a parody breaking the 4th wall is allowed."

Shana sighed; "This feels more like a scheme to embarrass everyone again…"

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Shut up and listen! I haven't finished my introduction! As I said welcome my dear guests, here's xxxDreamingflowerxxx as the announcer and one of the 4 judges of this 'spring game'. Our other 3 judges are; Sakai Chigusa, Sakai Kantarou and the self-loving vampire Mammon!"

Chigusa: "I am very glad that I can participate as a judge in this great event and I'll promise that I'll cheer for every group. As most of you fans and readers know I am Yu-chan's mom" she said with a smile.

Kantarou: "Uhm glad to meet everyone and I guess this is my first appearance, as you all know I am Yuji's father and I am honored that xxxDreamingflowerxxx gave me this opportunity to be a judge." he bowed and went back to his chair.

Mammon *is looking at a mirror admiring himself*: "I can't believe how beautiful I am. _Ohh I am so pretty, I've never seen such a beautiful person in my life, I…"_

Three other judges: "*Coughcough*" 

Mammon turns around and sees everyone staring at him awkwardly; "Oh uhm, *cought cough* gambatte minna-san!"

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "*sweat drop* Okay let me reveal the rules of this game! We'll be making six groups of five people. The Flame Haze and the Guze no Ou, who are contracted to them count as one person, same applies for our hentai snake of creation's two personalities!"

"Stop insulting me!"

"Each group has to do different missions in order to proceed, after you succeed a mission you'll be rewarded with points and the clue to the next mission. Each mission has a time limit and if you fail to succeed within the time limit you'll get a penalty, traps are hidden in each mission. If you get caught in one of the traps you'll also get a penalty. Every group has to have a group leader to represent the group in case you have to do a mission that involves only one person. Here are the group lists:

Group one: Shana/ Alastor, perv snake god…"

"FOR THE LAST TIME STOP INSULTING ME!"

"Must… kill… the Mystes… and… the… author, for putting him with Shana. –De arimasu. Mystes I swear if you lay one finger on her I'll kill you! –De arimasen!"

"She's my wife, it's normal to do things what a married couple does."

Shana sighed. "When will I get a break from this?"

"As I was saying… the last three members are; Ike Hayato, Ribersal and Lamies!

Group two: Margery Daw, Tanaka Eita,Satou Keisaku, Hecate and Sydonay!"

-_- "Must kill the author, for putting me with that hentai jiji!"

"HECATE-CHAAAANNN! Don't worry, I'll protect you from the traps and make sure you won't get hurt!"

-_- "One step closer and you'll be the one that gets hurt!" Hecate snarled after pulling out her gun and aiming it toward the lolicon Tomogara.

"…! He… He… HECATE-CHAN HATES ME WHAAAAHAAAAHAAA!"

*Sigh* "Group three will be Khamsin Nbh'w/ Behemoth, Pirsoyn, Rofocale, Ogata Matake and Sabrac."

Behemoth and Pirsoyn froze for a moment. "FUUUUUCKKKK YOOOOOUUUU AUTHOOORRR!" Phirsoyn stuck up its middle finger. "Why do I have to get stuck with that hateful Tomogara! Someone get me a knife so I can kill him or myself!"

"And why do you have to put Khamsin with that Tomogara! You know that Khamsin can't take care of himself! Putting him together with the Shougyaku no Hei, that will be disastrous!"

Pirsoyn was struggling as Sabrac and Ogata where trying to restrain and cool down the berserk Tomogara.

"~This is the most beautiful day of all

Paired up with two cute children what else should I call?

If we go together yeah that's nice

To feel your bodies I'd pay almost any price

In this game that will prove our love

We'll win this and will stand higher than those idiot gods from above… OUCH!~"

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "You never learn, do you Rofocale?"

"Shana! Cut him! He's insulting me, be a good daughter and punish him!" Alastor demanded.

"YOU SON OF A BITCH, ROFOCALE! HOW DARE YOU TO INSULT ME! I AM FROM A HIGHER RANK THAN YOU ARE! IF YOU INSULT ME ONE MORE TIME I'M GOING TO SLICE YOUR THROUTH OPEN AND SELL IT IN THE BLACK MARKET!" Yuji yelled.

Chigusa: "Good job Yu-chan! That's my son!"

xxxDreamingflowerxxx; "*sweat drop* Okay while it's been discovered that Chigusa is uhm, kinda crazy or creepy and Rofocale finally shuts his stupid mouth we can continue! Now the next group members are Decarbia, Yoshida Kazumi, Bel Peol, Rebecca Reed/ Balar and Wilhelmina Caramel/ Tiamat."

"Victory. –De arimasu."

"BITCHIN, me and Wilhelmina are in the same team! Let's pawn all the other mother fuckers!"

"As long as there is food and no idiots in my team, I don't really care." Bel Peol sighed.

"Uhm I hope this will end well." Yoshida said in a worried tone.

"Team five! Is… Dantalion, Domino, François Auric/ Grogach…" 

"YES I AM NOT TEAMED UP WITH THE DEMON OF HELL! THANK YOU SOO MUCH xxxDreamingflowerxxx! I love you!" François cheered in happiness.

"YOU LITTLE BITCH! WHEN WE GET BACK I'LL MAKE SURE YOU'LL GET RAPED OVER AND OVER AGAIN FOR CALLING ME A DEMON FROM HELL! YOU USELESS SISSY SHEMALE!"

"Actually… she, he does have a point. You sealed me away only because you don't want others to be happy and you killed people for your own ambition. Well you're more of an ugly old hag from hell."

"Enough guys, go insult each other after the game is finished. Now where was I oww yeah, Purson and Centerhill/ Tlaloc. Now the members of the last group as we should guess are…"

"NOOOOOOOO! Please don't do this to us! We don't want to be stuck up with her!" Samuel and Zirnitra begged.

Fecor, Haborym and Stolas ran to their commander and started to bow before him begging him for help; "Commander please help us! We wouldn't be able to survive with that monster!"

"Sophie Sawallisch/ Takemikazuchi, Samuel Demantius/ Zirnitra, Fecor, Haborym and Stolas."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!"

Chigusa stood up and walked over to the groups: "Okay everyone decides on your group leader so we can start the games."

"Well," Yuji started; "Since I am the leader of Bal Masqué and the Souzoushin it's obvious that I should be the group leader."

"No way!" Shana countered; "You're irresponsible and if you'll be the leader the only thing you'll try to do is undress me and touch me like all the other times! We need a responsible leader like me!"

Ike started shocked at the two; "You did it with her already? How where you able to get away with that without getting punished by Shana-chan? How many times did you do it anyway?"

"That's not the point here!" Shana yelled.

"He sealed her powers and took advantage of the situation." Alastor replied.

"Thanks a lot Alastor…"

"You're welcome."

Lamies tried to ignore the conversation that he heard and cleared his/ her throat; "Uhm shouldn't we decide who the group leader will be?"

"That will be me!" Shana and Yuji yelled in unison.

*Sigh* "This will take some time I guess."

* * *

><p>Group two didn't have that much trouble with choosing their group leader.<p>

"Okay, since Eita and Keisaku are incompetent, the Itadaki no Kura, doesn't care about becoming a group leader and no one will follow a pervert lolicon. I'll be the best one fit to be the group leader and the four of you are my servants now go bring me more beer." Margery commanded.

"HAHAHAHAHA! My beloved lead taking Margery Daw! You sure you shouldn't ask the opinions of others first before taking the lead?"

"Shut up baka Marco! I am the group leader and our group will be called Team Alcoholic Drinks or T.A.D. in short."

The rest of the members where trying to hide their laughers, upon hearing the short name of their team, but it wasn't helping very much; "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

"If you guys keep laughing I stuff you full with beer made out of hard drugs!"

Sydonay, Tanaka and Satou turned pale and shut their mouths immediately.

-_- "Can't we just stuff the lolicon with the hard drugs now?"

* * *

><p>At team 3 Ogata was staring at her group members; "Uhm okay guys anyone has someone to nominate for group leader?" She asked.<p>

"Not Khamsin Nbh'w at least, he's too immature to be group leader." Behemoth replied.

"Also not the pedo singer or I'll cut your throat!" Pirsoyn threatened.

Sabrac looked at everyone first before he started to speak. "This reminds me that time when I was traveling with my good friend…"

"Okay I'll be the group leader then, since you all seem like idiots." Ogata said; "Now a team name…"

Ogata looked at her group members again in disappointment. "I guess Team Failure fits perfect for this group."

"YAAAY I WANNA BE IN TEAM FAILURE!" Khamsin squealed.

"That name fits at least the pedo singer." Pirsoyn remarked.

* * *

><p>Team four didn't have much trouble either with picking a group leader and group name.<p>

"Okay! From now on you three are our bitches! I am the group leader and Wilhelmina is the co-leader and our team is called Team Unbeatable Bitch Duo **REBORN! **If any of you have complains about it I'll smash you teeth out of your fucking mouth! Got it?"

Decarabia started to shiver; "Yes ma'am."

Bel Peol and Yoshida were speechless of Rebecca's threat.

"So we got the delinquents in our team…" Bel Peol said.

"… Great…" Yoshida said.

* * *

><p>At team four was also quite fast in having a leader, since Dantalion scares the crap out of everyone.<p>

"SIIIINCEEEE EVERRRYOOONE EXXXCEEEEEPPPT FOOORRRR DOOOOOOMIIINOOOOO IIIS MYYYY GUUUIIIINEEEAAA PIIIIGS, IIIII'LLL TAAAAKEEEE THEEEEE LEEEEAAAAAD AAAAND OOOOUUURRRRR TEEEAAAM IIIIS CAAAALEEED; TEEEAAAAAM LEEEAAAADEEEEER, WIIIITH ASSSISSSTAAANT AAAAND GUUUUIIIINEEEEAAAA PIIIIIIGS."

xxxDreamingflower: "So you're Team Dead DNA."

"I feel uncomfortable with both team names," François said.

"It sounds ridiculous! Nya!" Purson remarked.

"IIIIIF YOOOOUUUU KEEEEP COOOOOMPLAAAAAIIIIINIIIIIING, IIIII'LL UUUUUSEEEE YOOOOUUUU AAAAS GUUUUIIIIIINEEEEEAAAA PIIIIIIGS NOOOOOOW!"

"Let's just skip to Team Hitler."

* * *

><p>"OKAY YOU BUNCH OF USELESS SHIT! YOU HAVE TO LISTEN TO EVERYTHING I SAY OR ELSE YOU'LL END UP WORSE THAN THE SISSY FROM THE OTHER TEAM AND DON'T YOU DARE TO LOSE!"<p>

"Sophie Sawallish-kun if you scare them all, they won't have the strength to participate." Takemikazuchi told his contractor.

"Who cares, if they lose their strength that fast then their too weak to live!"

"But knowing the author and how the judges are, plus the author is one of the judges. I am sure she has something up her sleeve."

Sophie turned around to her four slaves, who were cowering in fear somewhere in a corner; "If you fucking idiots screw this up you'll going to see hell for the rest of you lives, got that?"

"… Y... y… ye… yes Sophie Sawallisch-sama!" They said in unison.

"So now what should be a good name for my army…?"

"Didn't the author gave us the name Team Hitler?"

"Shut up Takemikazuchi! This is my army and I can name it how I want to name it! I got it from now on we're The Conqueror, Sophie Sawallisch-sama! Now let's go you lousy wimps! Or I'll throw you all into the abyss!"

* * *

><p>xxxDreamingflowerxxx:<span> "So, it seems like every group except for group one has a team leader and a group name… What group 1's name?"<span>

"Team Yuji!" Yuji proclaimed

"No, Team Shana!" Shana countered.

"It seems like the married couple is having their first fight… and it's about who is the leader and the group's name hahahaha! Okay to make it interesting team one won't have a group leader and I'll pick the name for you."

"Crap! No please no!" Group one begged.

"Group one is called now Sexually Team Dorks in short STD! HAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

All the faces of the members of team STD turned pale and all the other teams started to laugh like mad.

"HAHAHAHA TEAM STD WHAT A FUCKING FUNNY NAME HAHAHAHA!" Rebecca yelled.

"At least it fits the Mystes. –De arimasu."

"Perfect name." Tiamat added.

Bel Peol stared shocked at her commander; "WAIT COMMANDER YOU HAVE A STD?"

"WHAT? NO, OF COURSE NOT!"

Chigusa: "Yu-chan… what have I done wrong in raising you? I thought I was keeping a good eye on you. Were you doing things behind my back?" She said almost crying.

Kantarou grabbed the hands of his wife and stared at her with a serious face; "Don't worry Chigusa-san after this game is over, we'll go to the hospital to confirm if he has AIDS or any other STD."

"EVEN MY OWN PARENTS DON'T BELIEVE ME?"

Shana looked at Alastor; "Hey Alastor, what is an STD and what's AIDS?"

"Something you won't be able to get, since you're a Flame Haze luckily."

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "AIDS is an STD and STD stands for sexual transmittal decease, Shana-cchi."

Shana stared with a terrified face at Yuji.

"HOW MANY TIMES, DO I HAVE TO SAY IT? I HAVE NO STD! HOW IS A TOMOGARA ABLE TO GET THOSE IN THE FIRST PLACE?"

"Okay enough joking and making fun of others. Now let's start this game now! The readers and audience have been waiting enough!"

**Group STD's POV**

"Could you, stop ridiculing us? Sakai Yuji gives me enough headaches!" SnH complained.

"Okay let's finish this quickly so that I can go. What is the mission that we have to do?" Shana asked.

Lamies checked the little note that they got from Chigusa; "Keep walking till you see a clearing, on one of the trees, hangs a bag with costumes that you all have to wear. Then go into the labyrinth and you have to find the finish without getting spotted by the lights. If you're been caught then you'll get a penalty."

A few minutes later, they were all dressed in very uncomfortable clothes.

"How am I supposed to walk or run in this outfit? I look ridiculous!" Ribersal complained.

Ike looked at Ribersal and started to giggle. "*Heheh* seeing a giant bug in those ridiculous clothes makes me feel less humiliated with the outfit I am forced to wear."

"But we're all in clown costumes." Lamies explained.

"I can't believe the author makes us walk around in this. If the Flame Haze saw me then they'll see me less threatening. I am the leader of Bal Masqué and what's worse is that she forced Shana in these ridiculous clothes she should wear something cute and that fits her!"

Shana ignored the others and went to the entrance of the labyrinth and glanced around. "This kinda reminds me of one of those barrel missions in Donkey Kong 64 so it's better for us to act as we had in the game."

"I remember that game. Good times, very good times and there were also some awesome levels." Alastor said.

"I agree with you too on that one. I remember when I played Donkey Kong 64 for the first time. I skipped school and dragged Sakai with me to play the multiple player modes. That was awesome!" Ike yelled.

"Could you guys please stop talking about video games? Not everyone is font of them and for me it's close to hating after everything I went through thanks to your game fetish." Yuji asks.

Ike and Shana immediately turned to Yuji and gave him a dead glare.

"You… have… no… soul… Sakai Yuji! How dare you to say something like that about video games!" Alastor yelled.

"*Sign* Why am I stuck with a bunch of idiots?"

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Go ask your stupid horny counterpart hebi-san!"

"I really want to kill you now. You're more annoying than when you're behind the fourth wall."

Lamies sighed and decided to get back to the topic; "Guys we need to get going. We have a time limit, remember? So I guess it's best to look for the wide areas so that we can move better."

After a while of discussing their moves Team STD finally started to move.

"STOP GIVING OUR TEAM SUCH A HUMILIATING NAME!"

They moved slowly and carefully across the corridors, successfully evading the lights. They almost reached the end until…

"Ouch! Hey who puts a bath tub in the middle of the way?" Ribersal complained after he hit his head with a mini bath tub.

Ribersal was too busy complaining about the bath tub, that he completely forgot about the lights. He got spotted immediately and the sound of an alarm went off. A few seconds later everyone's clothes got ripped off, Ribersal's shell crumbled.

Shana's face started to become pale and she tried to cover herself. "KYAAAAA! SOMEONE HELP ME!" She started to run as fast as she could away from the group.

"No wait Shana, come back!" Yuji screamed running after her.

"Co… commander… is…" Ribersal fainted immediately when he saw his commander naked. His image and the respect he has for his commander corroded his mind.

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Don' worry, my beloved readers audience, their private parts are covered with a censor sticker. So you can keep on reading, imagining and watching." 

Ike and Lamies carried the unconscious and unshelled Ribersal in the bushes.

Ike shook his head. "This is so humiliating, first chapter I make a proper appearance with more lines than two and the author decides to strip me completely naked. What's worse I am naked together with an old man… a bug man who lost his shell and my best friend naked who's running after his traumatic wife… I should have stayed at home playing some videogames. By the way Lamies-san, I heard that you're a girl in real, but using the body of a dead old painter. How come you didn't get a trauma for using an old man's body… Lamies-san?"

Lamies was puling lots of toilet paper in his/ her nose.

"Can I ask what the hell are you doing? Don't tell me you have a thing for old people…" Ike asked in a disgusted tone.

"Actually this was the body of my lover. He was very young and hot when we started dating and he was a very good painter. He made me a painting, but it got destroyed in the war and guess what I did after I found it."

"You… tried to repair it?"

"Wrong, I killed the one responsible for destroying my beautiful painting, after I tortured him of course, cut out his organs, sold them in the black market and cut his body in tiny piece and feeding the body parts to sharks. I felt so satisfied when I did that. After I was done I tried to find a way how to repair my painting and since I didn't want people to spot me I decided to use my lovers body."

"… You're getting aroused just by thinking that you're using your lovers body don't you?"

"You're pretty sharp, now if you excuse me I need some privacy." Lamies ran into the forest as fast as possible.

"I think I need to poke my eyes out and make myself deaf… but if I do that I can't enjoy my video games anymore."

Ike sighed and stared at the unconscious unshelled body of Ribersal.

"… PFFFFHHH HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA! GOSH THAT BUG LOOKS RIDICULOUS AND I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT HE WORKS FOR SAKAI! HAHAHHAHA!

"SOMEONE GET ME SOME CLOTHES AND SAVE ME FROM MY TEAM!"

"WAIT SHANA, COME BACK!"

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "HAHAHAHAHA, this is so funny! Seems like Team STD did great in entertaining me!"

"I can't believe someone can be so twisted to come up with this insane game! You've humiliated me enough with degrading my Bal Masqué to a bunch of retarded idiots, but now you're taking away everyone's dignity! After I get out of this you're seriously going to pay for this!"

"Seems like hebi-san decided to join in. Hehehe wow this day can't get better. Okay let's hear what the other judges have to say."

Chigusa: "Well I am very disappointed that their teamwork is so horrible, Yu-chan as a man it's your job to satisfy your wife. You should have given her the lead. Oww well when he visits home I'll give him some 'nice lessons about how to treat a woman. What do you think Kantarou-san?"

Kantarou: "… I feel disturbed by the thought that Lamies-san is somewhere in that forest masturbating him/ herself and is no one else bother by the unshelled bug who's lying there unconscious. We also should get them some spare clothes. Too bad they weren't able to get any points though."

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Don't worry about that, I've prepared them some nice sets of spare 'clothing' heheheh. Okay Mammon you're the last one to comment, any thoughts?"

Mammon: "My lips feel so dry, just thinking about it makes me want to go all nuts. My sweet delicate lips…"

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "… Let's just continue with the Alcoholic drinks team."

**Group TAD's POV**

"Chōshi no Yomite can't we get another group name. T.A.D. sounds weird and I'd prefer to call our group Team Hecate-tan." Sydonay complained.

Hecate took out her gun and shot Sydonay through his leg.

"GYAA, my leg is bleeding!"

-_- "The next bullet will hit your brains if you keep on with it. If we ever will change the goup name, then it should be Dead to Sydonay, Team Kill Sydonay or Lolicon Haters."

"WE'RE NOT *HICKUP* CHANGING *HICKUP* OUR GROUP NAME! *HICKUP*

Satou sighed. "Dear god, we haven't started officially and she's drunk already. It won't take long before she'll throw her bottles at us and starts to curse."

Tanaka scratched his head. "That's not the worst thing Satou, ane-san hasn't even checked what mission we have to do."

"There is no point in reminding her when she's in this state…"

Margery took a big sip from her drink and started to take the lead, swinging Marcosias in the main time. "We'll win this shit everyone! *hiccup* I'll show everyone the power of alcohol. *hiccup* Marco let's swing it! *hiccup* Round and round and round. *hiccup*"

"Oi… my… beloved… drunken… slave driver… Margery… Daw… I am getting sick please stop swinging me around like I am some kind of yoyo… SOMEONE PLEASE HELP ME!"

"Shut up baka Marco! *hiccup* I don't wanna hear you *hiccup* complaining *hiccup* about this! Eita, Keisaku! I want more beer, bring me now!"

"We're coming."

"And don't forget my glass!"

"Margery-san, you're drinking out of the bottle." Satou pointed out.

"So? Get me a glass now!"

"As long as I am with my beloved kawaii Itadaki no Kura Hecate I don't care about anything else in the… OUCH!"

Hecate stood behind Sydonay with her rail gun pointed at him. -_- "Stand still so that I can torture you to death!"

Sydonay was so busy evading the shots that he didn't looked ahead of him and bumped into Margery, who got her beer all poured over her. "LOOK WHAT YOU DID BITCH! *hiccup* I AM ALL SOAKED IN BEER! HAVE YOU ANY IDEA WHAT A WASTE THAT IS! *hiccup* YOU WON'T GET AWAY WITH THIS YOU FUCKING BASTARD! TAKE THIS! *hiccup*"

Margery threw her glass and beer bottle at Sydonay making him fall on the ground, and then she launched herself at him and started to use Marchosias as a weapon, hitting Sydonay in his head.

"OUCH! OUCH! MY BELOVED OUCH WASTED ENRAGED MARGERY DAW OUCH! PLEASE STOP OUCH USING ME OUCH AS A OUCH WEAPON OUCH! IT HURTS OUCH A LOT! SOMEONE HELP ME! OUCH! YOUR GETTING THE GRIMORE COVERED IN BLOOD OUCH! AND I DON'T LIKE THE SMELL OF BLOOD OUCH!"

After a few minutes of painful beating Sydonay finally lost consciousness. Margery kept hitting him hard with Marchosias. "*Hiccup* YOU LIKE THAT, BITCH? *hiccup* I HAVE ALOT OF MORE PUNCHES FOR YOU! *hiccup!*"

After Margery was finally done with beating Sydonay to dead, Hecate walked toward him and started to poke him with a pincer. -_- "Chōshi no Yomite I thank you very much for torturing him so much. You've become my role model, except for the drinking part. I'll never forget this joyful moment for the rest of my existence."

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "DING DING DING! Group TAD has won extra bonus points for completing the secret mission and you'll get the points you're supposed to get from the main mission too."

Tanaka looked confused at the intercom that was hanging randomly on a tree. "What secret mission?"

"Ow yeah I forgot to inform the teams about it. Each group can get extra points by completing a secret mission. The groups have to find out on their own what the secret mission is. Yours was horrible mistreating a team member and make him suffer till he or she losses consciousness. The worse the condition the more points you get."

Tanaka and Satou were staring blankly at the intercom. "What kind of insane, crazy and sick mission is that?"

"The ones that make me laugh hysterically."

-_- "I am starting to appreciate the author."

"*hiccup* Well that was fun. *hiccup*" Margery said while cleaning the blood from the grimoire; "Let's continue with this game. *hiccup* We already made a great start! Let's win this! *hiccup* Tanaka! Eita! You two carry that bloody body on turns."

Chigusa: "Well that was a very satisfying round. Sakai Chigusa here, live at Misaki studios, we're broadcasting this live from Misaki city. The first two groups have finished their first round and things seem to be very entertaining already."

"Mother, how could you say that? You're embarrassing your own son? Shouldn't you show some more concern?" Yuji yelled.

"Okay now it's time for the comments of the other judges"

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "This was another hilarious and entertaining round let's hope Sydonay won't end up in the hospital before the game ends. That would be a waste of joke."

"Glad to hear that. What about you Kantarou-san?"

Kantarou: "Well it's good to see that the groups are very lively and as result our ratings are rising very fast. I am getting messages of people who want to see more of Margery-san and Marchosias"

The 3 judges turned their heads to mammon waiting for his comment, but he seemed to be busy with something else; "This beautiful hair of mine, I can't stop stroking it and my smooth soft face. Oh mammon you're so beautiful I can't hold it in anymore I must kiss me."

Flower, Chigusa and Kantarou: "…"

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Kantarou-san, Chigusa-san, I think we should leave him alone for the rest of the game. I am starting to wonder why we choose him to be the last judge in the first place."

Kantarou and Chigusa shrugged. "We didn't have much choice right? He won't be any helpful if we made him a candidate right? He'll only scare the readers and audience."

Satou sighed upon hearing the comments of the judges. "They only see us as amusement material to pass time, don't they? Are we even considered as beings?"

Tanaka shook his head. "For some reason they remind me of Satsukitane Mikako, the crazy Student council president from Sora no Otoshimono. She also uses humans for her own pleasure and to kill time."

"You think the author is a sadist?"

"I am not sure, but I've been wondering the same thing since she enjoys herself when she puts us in miserable situations."

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Shut up, you bunch of whining idiots! If you keep on with talking behind my back, I'll show you how much of a sadist I can be! Now let's get on with the next group this chapter is getting way too long!"

**Group T.F. POV**

Ogata was reading the paper with the mission they're supposed to do in order to proceed. "Find the exit of the labyrinth before the time runs out. Beware there are some obstacle on your way so it won't be easy. Be sure to not get lost or you'll get send to the shadow realm… Is she trying to make fun of us? This team is already messed up and now she's making us look like idiots. How are we supposed to find the exit? Teamwork is what our group is lacking the most."

Ogata stopped the paper in her pocket and looked at her group.

"~Teamwork is the most important thing of life

Come on kids let's show them how we drive

Your loneliness will go away

To me it doesn't matter if you're straight or gay

Let me feel your body now

I won't hold in let me hear you scream wow

Your cute feelings that are bottled in

Let them out and I'll make your heart spin.

Cute little children let's have fun

I'll teach you what you can become

Let Rofocale-nii-san make you wet

After some rounds we can go all to bed~"

Pirsoyn lost its control and launched itself towards Rofocale starting to strangle him and stabbing him with a knife repeatedly. "DIE! DIE! DIE! YOU SON OF A BITCH! GO TO HELLL! I'LL MAKE YOU SUFFER! SUFFER YOU HEAR ME FUCKING BASTARD! I'LL POKE YOUR EYES OUT AND MAKE YOU GO CRY TO YOUR BOSS WHILE I LAUGH LIKE A MANIAC! !%$&*!"

Khamsin stared at the duo for a while, then turned around and ran towards Ogata. "Onee-chan are those two going to have a baby? Since the nee-chan in the robe is attacking him and the violent prison nee-chan told me that when a couple is fighting they're going to have a baby."

Behemoth sweat dropped. "Khamsin Nbh'w shut up! It's no time for stupid questions can't you see that we're in the middle of a game, we haven't started and we are already losing!"

Sabrac was sitting on a rock feeling very relaxed for some reason. "Ahh, this reminds me of the time I was traveling with my friend. We got lost and I didn't want to admit it. We were walking around for hours and I was getting hungry. In the end I finally started to listen to her and I found out that the city was only a five minute walk from our location. I never felt so embarrassed in my whole live… blah blah blah blah."

Ogata was losing her patience as she listened to the; complains, fights and stupid remarks of her group members. "SHUT THE FUCK UP IDIOTS! WE'RE SUPPOSED TO DO A MISSION! NO LET'S GET GOING WE STILL HAVE A CHANGE TO WIN THIS!"

Rofocale and the others stopped with their craziness and walked over to their group leader.

"I am fine with that, but which way should we choose?" Behemoth asked.

"~Let's go left I think I heard some cute children playing.~"

Pirsoyn tried its best not to stab him, but in the end it threw the knife into one of Rofocale's ears. "~OUCH!~"

"Let's head right! I want the shota/ lolicon to suffer!"

Sabrac shook his head. "We should head south I am sure that we'll find the exit if we do that."

"The ponies will leave pink dust for us to find their village!" Khamsin squealed.

"Oh for god's sake, Khamsin Nbh quit it with your annoying ponies remarks, they don't have a village and they don't leave and goddamned gay dust! They're just ordinary animals… It was my biggest mistake letting you watch My little pony."

After some minutes of discussing, Otaga finally decided that they should head north, but they immediately fell into a pitfall after the set their first step.

"Great, can it become even worse?" Ogate complained.

As soon as she said that bloodsuckers appeared, crawling into their clothes starting to suck out their blood.

"EEEEKK NOOOO THEY'RE EVERYWHERE! SOMEONE HELP ME! I HATE BLOOD SUCKERS! FROM ME! THEY'RE ON MY CLOTHES AND MY MASK! WHAT ARE THEY DOING TO MY MASK! SAAAAAVEEEE MEEEE!" Sabrac screaming in a girlish manner, while jumping and running around like a little girl.

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Well, you got that part right, but they're not normal blood suckers, they're clothes eating bloodsuckers; Not only do they suck your blood, they always eat your clothes. So have fun and good luck with trying to get out of there."

The whole group stood frozen for a while until they all panicked, Pirsoyn started to get a heart attack and went berserk. "NOOO ! NOT HERE NOT WITH THAT SHOTA/ LOLICON NOOOOOOOO!"

Rofocale was staring at Pirsoyn and Khamsin's body that slowly got exposed, as little by little the blood suckers ate their clothes. "~Pirsoyn-chan and Khamsin-chan's pure bodies… it's all visible and it's all visible... for me…~" Rofocale started to get a major bleeding nose and fainted from having too many perverted thoughts about Khamsin and Pirsoyn.

Khamsin tugged on the little bit of skirt the poor Ogata had laft to cover herself. "Ne, ne, nee-chan I am hungry are these things edible? And I am feeling cold do you have a blanket?"

"Khamsin Nbh'w, be quiet and go find a way to get us out of here!"

"Yes daddy."

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Well it seems to be very noisy at group TF don't you think guys?"

Chigusa nodded; "Very noisy, Flower-chan. But it's a very surprising turn of events I am sure the audience didn't see that coming. At least some parts of it. The question will be if they can get out of this mess and catch up with the other groups. What do you think Kantarou-san?"

Kantarou: "Well its very surprising seeing how a Tomogara react to a mere bug. You'd never guess that a mercenary… or was he an assassin?"

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Who cares about that?"

Kantarou-san: "No one I guess Flower-san. But the image that he had, has degraded to a boring idiot with fear for blood suckers."

Mammon: "Ohh my beautiful body, it feels so smooth I am such a good kisser. I- I want more!"

The other judges stared at Mammon with a disgusted face; "…"

Chigusa: "I think we should mute him. What do you guys think?"

Flower and Kantarou: "We agree."

xxxDreaminflowerxxx: "Okay my dear readers and audience thank you for watching/ reading part one of the spring game special. Since this is taking a bit too long let's have a short break. We'll be back after the commercial in the main time and since vegetable Juice is the best thing you can buy! My dear guest enjoy yourself with Hatsune Miku's song; PoPiPo!"

Chigusa: "And for the readers, don't forget to leave a review or else we'll have to take some measures."

* * *

><p>Po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou<br>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou  
>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou<br>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou  
>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou<br>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou  
>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou<br>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou  
>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou<br>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou  
>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou<br>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-popii

saa nome omae suki daro? Yasai juusu  
>watashi ga kimeta ima kimeta<br>dakara nonde watashi no yasai juusu  
>kakaku wa nihyaku en<p>

soiya soiya  
>dossee dossee<br>soiya soiya  
>dossee dossee<p>

maroyaka yasai juusu  
>fuwa fuwa yasai juusu<br>ichiban osusume na no wa midori no juusu

po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou  
>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou<br>bejitaburu na  
>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou<br>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou  
>seimei afureta<br>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou  
>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou<br>anata mo ima  
>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou<br>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou

yasai juusu ga suki ni naru  
>popii<p>

-To be continued.


	17. Spring game Special: Part 2

Disclaimer: I don't own Shakugan no Shana or Hatsune Miku's songs

* * *

><p>Spring game Special: Part 2<p>

Let's take. You're lovin' it.  
>"Vegetable juice."<br>You must love this drink, I decided now.  
>So take now, with my true heart.<br>"Vegetable juice."  
>It costs just 2 dollars.<p>

Come on! Come on!  
>Let's dance<br>Come on! Come on!  
>Let's dance<p>

Mellow and mellow vegetable juice.  
>Creamy and creamy vegetable juice.<br>I guess you should like  
>the best this one.<br>"Big pale blue juice!"

po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou  
>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou<br>We are vegetarian.  
>Po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou<br>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou  
>Every vegetarian.<br>Po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou  
>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou<br>Happy vegetarian.  
>Po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou<br>po-ppi-po-ppi-po-ppo-ppi-pou  
>Y. A. S. A. I love you, so and I love you<p>

* * *

><p>xxxDreamingflowerxxx: <span>"Welcome back ladies and gentleman! xxxDreamingflowerxxx here, with the second part of our oh so popular spring game. Thank you very much my dear readers and audience for staying with us. For my dear readers I'll be trolling you with this super long chapter. Now Chigusa, with a small report about our contestants and then Kantarou with the ratings."<span>

Chigusa: "Thank you very much Flower-chan. As we all know, group TF fell into a pitfall with clothes eating blood suckers and the whole team panicked. By now they've been pulled out of the pitfall trap and they're resting a bit until the next round. Group TAD won the first round and are having a luxurious meal, while their team member Sydonay is lying in the first aid to recover a little bit after Margery-san's outburst. Group STD is also resting and getting some new pair of clothes that Flower arranged for them… I wonder what kind of clothing it will be. Okay and that was the sort summary for now group TAD is first, but the remaining three groups still have a chance to win this. Kantarou-san how are the ratings."

Kantarou: "It seems like the ratings keep growing and growing and we also seem to get some complain calls from the government, warning us to stop broadcasting and quitting this game, also some parents are complaining about this show being too inappropriate for their children, but on the bright side we also got a lot of letters and calls from the fans. They really seem to enjoy watching this."

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Great, we'll answer some calls and read some of the letters after the game, as for the complains from the government and the parents, well Chigusa I am sure you want to deal with the government, since you're family has done that many times."

Chigusa: "It would be my pleasure Flower-san."

Mammon: "YESS! OH YESS! I FEEL SO EXITED! THIS FEELING I WANT MORE! I NEED TO FEEL MORE!"

Flower, Chigusa and Kantarou: "…"

Kantarou: "*sweat drop* Shall we just continue with the broadcast?"

xxxDreaminflowerxxx: "Yeah I guess, I'll handle the parents, let those annoying complain come! Hello Mrs. what can I do for you?"

Angry parent: _"Well first of all I am a man! Second how are parents able to treat their son so terrible and act so irresponsible! They allowed their teenage son to get married with his girlfriend at such a young age and last I demand you to stop airing this show! My child, who is four years old keeps asking me why the clothes of the people disappeared and he also started to curse out loud every time and repeats every inappropriate joke when he watches the television!"_

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Well first, I don't give a damn if you're a woman or a man, second Chigusa this one is for you. "

Chigusa: "Well mister, if I want my son to grow up into a man I shouldn't spoil him too much. He has to be independent. I also don't want my son to be so full of himself, which he sadly is and there's nothing wrong with marrying the one you love when you're an immortal god with a split personality/ alter ego or whatever you may call it and the leader of an organization full of human devouring monsters."

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: Plus, it's your own damned fault for letting your stupid kid watch a program that's not aimed towards children! Have you checked the age rate or are you such a big idiot that you can't read! What fucking idiot allows his child to watch a show that's being aired at noon? Are you that irresponsible? So shut the fuck up and don't bother me again! As for all the other stupid parents who are complaining about my show! The same applies to them! Don't tell me you even let your child watch Higurashi no naku koro ni! HOW STUPID CAN YOU BE! SO FUCK UP WITH YOUR COMPLAINS AND LET THE FANS WHO CAN HANDLE WATCHING GOOD HUMOR ENJOY THEIR SHOW! Now let's go back to the game."

**Group TUBDR's POV**

"This is the best fucking day ever! It feels just like the old days in prison!" Rebecca cheered while taking the lead and putting her hand in the air to stretch herself out.

"I agree with Rebecca, if only I could threaten that Mystes... –De arimasu." Wilhelmina said while holding her knife very tightly.

"Nostalgia." Tiamat added.

Bel Peol looked a bit doubtful. "What did you two do in the past?"

Rebecca turned to Bel Peol and answered with a big smile on her face. "What do you think we did? We beat up every fucking bitch that didn't listen to us and we threatened everyone who opposed us. We did what we want, whenever we want and where we want. Of course we had our own little bitches too and we took the money, food or every other possession of the other prisoners."

"Those were though times, we had to fight against gangs every day and make sure we stayed the number one in prison. The Shin'i no Yuite send us there because she got sick of Rebecca and the Banjō no Shite's activities that disturbed the Shin'i no Yuite's peace. She thought that sending them to prison will punish them, well was she wrong about that one." Balar explained.

Bel Peol's mind went complete black, she never heard about Flame Haze going to prison and especially not owning everyone in the prison. She tried to regain herself by thinking how the Banjō no Shite and the Kishaku no Makite acted in prison. Decarabia and Yoshida were completely speechless.

xxDreamingflowerxxx: "Guys, don't forget that you're in a game and that you have to do the mission to win this and threatening the other teams in letting you win won't work this time and it's also no time to talk about the past!"

"Okay Unbeatable Bitch Due** REBORN! **Time for some fucking action!" Rebecca declared.

Bel Peol started to sigh. "I would have liked it more if your team had a name that has something to do with food."

Wilhelmina glared at her; "There is nothing wrong with Unbeatable Bitch Duo **REBORN!** –De arimasu, even though I wouldn't mind if our team was called Team Maid. –De arimasuka."

Rebecca looked at her team members in disappointment. "Come on guys Unbeatable Bitch Duo **REBORN! **Is a very fucking cool name, the other names wouldn't give people the idea that we're fucking awesome! "

"But Kishaku no Makite that name only applies to you and the Banjō no Shite, it's not fair for the others." Decarabia complained.

"Shut the fuck up fish! I already said you guys can be our bitches! So don't complain, or I'll smash your teeth out and sell your body to a sushi bar!"

"*Gulp* Yes boss."

"Uhm, Rebecca aren't you going a bit too far? They are our team members, remember and we need to do this together to win this." Balar said.

Bel Peol just shook her head upon seeing the crazy scene of her joint Tomogara and the Kishaku no Makite. "I can't believe how crazy those Flame Haze are… I guess I am one to talk, since Bal Masqué's members aren't that sane either, especially when you look at Sydonay."

Yoshida who has been quiet all the time finally spoke up; "Rebecca-san shouldn't we go read the mission now? I am sure we lost too much time and knowing the author she must have a humiliating penalty for us too."

Rebecca turned to Yoshida. "Oww yeah you're right I complexly forgot about it. Now let's see what we have to do: "Your mission is, wear these coconut outfits with mini skirt and clear the mini Takashi's castle…"

They all stood staring at the piece of paper for a while… "This is absurd! I am a fish how, can I wear such costumes?" Decarabia hollowed.

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Don't worry fish-chan; I have this especially for you so that you can wear the outfit too."

" … YOU'RE GIVING ME FAKE BOOBS! I WILL LOOK RIDICULOUS WITH THOSE, EVEN MORE THAN I WILL WITHOUT THEM!"

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Rules are rules now get dressed!"

* * *

><p>Five minutes later…<p>

Chigusa: "I guess that they'll be dressed by now, let's see how our fish star is looking like, Decarabia-san!"

Decarabia got dragged out of the changing room looking completely ridiculous, with the fake boobs and the coconut bra he looked like a fish transvestite and the skirt made it even worse. All the other team members tried their best not to laugh, but they weren't succeeding.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! OMG, you look fucking ridiculous you look worse than a fag!" Rebecca laughed.

"He'd look better if it was maid theme. –De arimasu." Wilhelmina commented.

"Failed cosplaying." Tiamat added.

"This is even more awkward, than the time I caught the commander kissing his pillow!" Bel Peol said in amusement.

"This seriously beats Satou-san's peeing accident! Hahahaha!" Yoshida laughed.

Decarabia felt the embarrassment rising; "Guys this isn't funny you're wearing the same as I am."

"But we are girls it looks more normal compared to you." Yoshida explained.

Rebecca kept on laughing "Hahaha! Yeah it's more… wait Gyakuri no Saisha what do you mean with you saw the hentai snake god kissing his pillow?"

"When I wanted to inform him that we could leave for his training I heard some noises coming from his room and when I came to check he was kissing his pillow."

"OMG HAHAHAHA! He's that desperate, that he even pretends a pillow to be Nietono no hahaha!"

"The pillow had a picture with the princess on it."

"… After this game is over I'll cut that Mystes in tiny pieces and feed him to the sharks! –De arimasuka."

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "TIME IS TICKING NOW TEAM FANSERVICE GO TAKE ACTION!"

"Kay let's go group TUBDR!" Rebecca yelled and ran to the location where they had their mission.

Yoshida kept staring at all the obstacles that they had to overcome. "I don't think this will be an easy mission."

"I agree with the human girl." Bel Peol commented; "Especially with these uncomfortable clothes that we're wearing. I won't be surprised if Decarabia will be the one with most difficulty."

Kantarou: "Don't worry guys, as long as you increase the ratings I wouldn't mind if you fail or not. SO go show a lot of fanservice to the guys!"

"… I think I can see where the commander got that carefree personality from."

* * *

><p>Ten minutes later.<p>

Chigusa: "It seems like group TUBDR is one step away from finishing their mission, this will mean that they'll be the second group to win the first round, but the question is will they be able to succeed? As last obstacle they have climb a very cold joist made of steel and make sure they arrive at the other side without falling in the pool filled with pudding."

Bel Peol stared in shock at the pool filled with pudding. "I AM NOT GOING TO TRY THE LAST OBSTACLE, HAVE YOU ANY IDEA HOW HARD IT WAS TO KEEP A GOOD GRIP ON THAT JOIST? IT'S FREAKING COLD AND I ALMOST FELL AND BESIDES I AM PART OF THE TRINITY, DEGRADING MYSELF TO FANSERVICE FOR A BUNCH OF HORMONE FILLED GUYS AND GIVING SHAME TO MY COMMANDER AND BAL MASQUÉ, IS SOMETHING I'LL NEVER DO!"

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Newsflash Bel Peol, Bal Masqué's honor has been scattered chapters ago and your lovely commander where you Tomogara are so proud of also has been ridiculed a lot of times."

"And whose fault do you think it was?"

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "I don't know, but this person must be a genius ;D"

"You're really sick in your head, you know that."

Chigusa: "Now finish your last obstacle or else you'll get a penalty, worse than what the groups normal get."

So group TUBDR finally made an attempt on the last obstacle.

"We're almost there guys!" Yoshida encouraged.

Decarabia started to get energetic upon thinking that they're almost done. "Finally I can feel the breeze of freedom! I'll be able to get rid of this humiliating suit and then… GYYAAAA!"

But before he could finish his fins gave up on him and he fell. He tried to save himself by grabbing one of his group members, but that only made it worse and the whole group fell in the pool of pudding.

"NOOOOO! My dignity! Commander, Hecate, Sydonay, I… Ohh this tastes pretty good." Bel Peol said as she started to eat the pudding pool.

"WHAT THE FUCK!" Rebecca screamed; "I AM NOT FOR FANSERVICE! GOSH MY CLOTHES ARE ALL STICKY AND IF IT WEREN'T FOR THIS STUPID COCONUT BRA, I'LL SHOW WHY WE'RE CALLED GROUP TUBDR!"

"… -De… arimasu…"

"It's all sticky and OMG Rebecca-san I can see your underwear!" Yoshida yelled.

"Oh FUCK!"

Decarabia fainted and he was just floating in the pudding pool like a death fish.

Chigusa: "Oh my, I hope he isn't dead, I am not in the mood to flush a giant fish in the toilet… that will be the hardest job I've done in my life."

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "We can also sell him to a sushi shop, if he's dead. I guess even this team wasn't able to gain points for the first round."

Kantarou: "At least our ratings increased, Decarabia in coconut costume is the favorite of the fans. I guess that's as a laughing stock."

Chigusa: "Hahahahaha! I never laughed so hard in my life ever since my last visit to the Japanese government and Yu-chan was only seven years old back then."

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "I guess this is the most unique way of fanservice or should I say fishservice Heheh. Bel Peol and the others also seem to attract a lot of attention from the fans. You guys did a good job in entertaining us."

"Wrinutyutys!" Bel Peol mumbled, while stuffing herself full with pudding.

Mammon: "Ahh, I am so wet, my whole body is sweating and I feel like I am in heaven, this beautiful face of mine. I'll make sure my body won't go to waste. Ahhhh!"

Chigusa, Flower and Kantarou: "… yuck this is really sick."

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Chigusa, how come your son has only twisted subordinates?"

Chigusa: "I guess that's something we'll never find out. I didn't even know Tomogara could fall in love with themselves."

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: I guess it's "time to let the next team go take the spot light."

**Group TDDNA's POV**

"HOOOOOOW MAAAAAAANYYYYYY TIIIIIIMEEEEEESSSS DOOOOO IIII HAAAAVEEEE TOOO TEEEELL YOOOOUUUUU, THAAAT MYYYY TEEEEEAAAAAAM IISSSS CAAAALEEEED TEEEAAAAAM LEEEAAAADEEEEER, WIIIITH ASSSISSSTAAANT AAAAND GUUUUIIIINEEEEAAAA PIIIIIIGS."

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "That sounds too long and boring; besides Team death DNA makes more sense."

"Actually they both make no sense." Centerhill commented.

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Who's the judge here, you or me?"

"Uhm, you?"

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Good now no complaining about your group name or you can massage Sophie's stinky feet!"

The whole group froze. "Noooo! Please anything but that!"

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Good now start your mission!"

"I feel like heaven has sent me a blessing to be away from that monster for once!" François said, while he was skipping in joy.

"Uhm, Shiei no Hajite, we're Flame Haze, we don't believe in stuff like that. To us only earth and Guze exists." Centerhill cemented.

"But, what about the Tenjou no Gouka?"

"He's a Guze no Ou remember, plus his title only describes his power… heaven doesn't have to exist in real."

"Then if we die where do we go?"

"… we… our bodies will… wait can we even die in a parody?"

"Well Centerhill, I believe that we'll go to the closet of the author if she decided to let someone die." Tlaloc explained.

François and Centerhill were looking at Tlaloc, like he was missing a screw in his head. "That doesn't make any sense, Shuchō no Tsudumi." François commented.

"It's a parody what else would you expect."

"IIII WAAAAAANT EEEEEVEEEERYYYYYY GRRRRRROOOOOUUUUUP MEEEEEEEMBEEEEEERRRR TOOOO GIIIIVEEE MEEEE AAAAA BLOOOOOOD SAAAAAAPLEEEEE OOOOORRRR DNAAAAA FOOOORRRR LAAAAATEEEERRRR PUUUUURRRRRPOOOOOSEEEE IIIIN THEEEE GAAAAAMEEEEE!" Dantalion yelled, while using a ridiculous looking microphone.

"… For later purpose in the game, who the hell would believe that? Nya!" Purson yelled.

"… It's still better than being stuck with the Shin'i no Yuite." François said.

"Professor, shouldn't we read the paper that informs us of our mission?" Domino asked.

"PIIII? OOOOOOOW, YEEEEESSSSS THEEEE MIIIIISSIIIIOOOON; OOOOOONEEEEE OOOOF THEEEE COOONTEEESTAAANTS HAAASS TOOOO CAAAARRRYYY THEEEE OOOTHEEEERRRRS FOOOOR TWEEEELFEEE MIIINUUUUTEEEESS, WHIIILEEE WAAAAALKIIING OOOOVEEEERRR AAAAA SUUUUPEEEERR NAAARRRROOOW LOOONG BRRRRIIIIDGEEE, IFFF YOOOOUUUU FAAAALL OOOOOF THEEEEE BRRRRIIIIDGEEEE, YOOOOUUUU GEEEET AAAA PEEEENAAALTYYYYY.

PS.: YOOOOUUURRRR POOOOOWEEEEERRRRS WIIILL BEEE SEEEAAAAALEEED, IIIN OOORRRRDEEEEERRR TOO MAAAAAKEEEE IIIIT AAAA CHAAAALEEEEEENGEEEE."

The group stood there quiet for a moment… "We're going to die, right Tlaloc?"

"I am afraid so Centerhill."

Chigusa: "Okay group TDDNA, now take out a paper out of the box that's lying near the bridge. The person who got the lowest number goes first and the one with the highest goes last."

They all took a piece of paper from the box and the result was the following:

Dantalion

Centerhill

Purson

Domino

François

"I feel like the author does this on purpose in order to humiliate me in the end." François sighed.

Centerhill and the other climbed on Dantalion's back, it looked like some crazy guy was carrying a pile of trash.

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Ready, and START!"

"TIIIIIIMEEEE TOOOO UUUUUUSEEEE MYYYY NEEEEEEW : EEEXEEEELEEEENT 6379240039811."

Dantalion took a strange gadget, which looked like some kind of jumping machine, but Chigusa took the gadget away. "Sorry Dantalion-san, but you're not allowed to use them. Using your gadgets to win is the same as cheating and haven't you named another gadget of yours with that name?"

"IIII LOOOOOST THEEEE COOOOOUUUUUUNT AAA LOOOOONG TIIIIIMEEEE AAAGOOOOOO!"

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "*sigh* Just start alread...dyy…"

Dantalion fell second after Chigusa took away the item from him. "GYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYAAAAAAAAAAAA!"

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "…"

Chigusa: "Well that was… quick. Flower-san what is the penalty?"

"GYAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! SHIIIIIIITAAAAAAKEEEEE MUUUUUSHRRRROOOOOOMS! IIII DEEEEESPIIIIISEEEEEE, SHIIIITAAAAAKEEEE MUUUUSHRRRROOOOOMS!" Dantalion yelled in agony. "AAND WHEEEEERRRREEEE AAAAARRRREEEEE THEEEESEEEE MUUUSHRRRROOOOOM MOOOOONSTEEEERRRRS COOOOMIIIING FRRRROOOOOOM? WHAAAT AAAAARRRREEE THEEEEYYYY? NOOOO! "

"They're spitting out some strange liquid that stink like mushrooms… EEEEEEKK! It MOVES to my clothes!" Centerhill screamed.

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Now you know what the penalty is for this group. Each time they fall from the bridge the thing that the carrier hates the most will appear. In Dantalion's case its mushrooms especially the Shiitake mushroom and the monster mushrooms are big shrooms borrowed from Mario."

* * *

><p>After a few minutes later group TDDNA was able to get out the deep pit traumatized.<p>

"MYYYY NOOOOOOSEEEEE IIIIT BUUUUUURRRRRNS IIIIII CAAAAAN'T SMEEEEEL AAAAANYYYYYTHIIIIING!" Dantalion cried, while stuffing his bleeding nose with a tissue."

"Who'd guess that the Tantankyūkyū has grave allergies for mushrooms? His whole skin is burned, also swollen, red and he's… bleeding out of his nose?" François asked.

"Well yeah for some reason he has a terrible allergy for mushrooms you should be glad that you're not the doctor, the last time I had to bring the professor to the Tomogara hospital they had to operate him and his whole inside looked terrible; there was puss everywhere some organs exploded and there was also blood everywhere. It took months before he was able to get back to his normal appearance; he wasn't able to go through any door either." Domino explained.

All the other three members looked at Dantalion in disgust. "Can we please not carry him? Nya." Purson begged; "I don't want to get infected with his allergy or get blood all over myself! Nya."

"Me neither, plus it will be troublesome if the Saikyō no Morite gets blood all over him."

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Jeez! When will there be a team that won't complain every time?"

The next victim was Centerhill, after some struggling with Dantalion, who fell in a coma as result of his allergies. They finally were able to climb on him. In the beginning everything went well, but after ten minutes Centerhill's legs gave up. He hit his head hard against the bridge before he fell from the bridge with all the other group members that he was carrying.

"GYAAAAAAA!"

Chigusa, Flower and Kantarou: "…"

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Wow this group is such a disappointment. I love it!"

Chigusa: "We have a new record with following failed missions."

Kantarou: "That's because most of them fail in one turn, Chigusa-san."

Centerhill and the others kept falling, suddenly out of nowhere a silhouette appeared and took form of a giant trolling Sophie head. "FUCKING USELESS FLAME HAZE! FUCKING BASTARDS, BE USEFULL FOR ONCE! GO FUCK YOURSELF AND CRY UNTIL YOU DIE! WHAT WHERE YOUR PARENTS A BUNCH OF WHORES? EVEN ANTS HAVE MORE FALUE THAN YOU! GO KICK THOSE FUCKING TOMOGARA'S ASSES UNTILL THEY'RE BLEEDING! I'LL SLICE OUT YOUR THROATS AND SHOW YOUR HEADS IN A MUSEUM BEFORE I SELL THEM TO PIMPS IF YOU'RE NOT OBETIENT! YOU'RE ALL A BUNCH OF SLUTS AND PIMPS ONLY LAZYING AROUND AND NEVER DOING A THING! FUCK OFF WHO SAID YOU WHERE ALLOWED TO COM HERE? GET THE FUCK OUT OF HERE SHIT BAGS! NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW! NOW!"

"GYYYYYYAAAAAAAA!"

* * *

><p>After a few minutes and painful climbing Centerhill and the others got out of the canyon, in worse state than the last time… "… Nya… nya… co… commander… pl… please… save us… nya." Purson huffed while trying to get himself together.<p>

"I… I've… never… seen… such a… terrible thing… i… i… in my life… even children would appreciate the songs of the Shougyaku no Hei. Even the priestess and our commander when they're in a rage aren't that terrifying." Domino commented.

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Are you sure? For the children and Pirsoyn, Rofocale is far worse than hell, you ever saw an angry Hecate? Go play bloodlines and you can see that bloodlines, is nothing compared to Hecate and also nothing compared to the hentai snake's wrath. Unless you are me or the little petanko Flame Haze or his parents, then it's all comical amusement for me and the little petanko will be physical abused and mentally traumatized and the hentai snake would never disobey his parent's hahahah! Now move on to the next comical scene."

This time, Pusron had to carry a passed out Centerhill, Tlaloc and Dantalion with Domino, François and Grogach on top of them. "I can do this! Nya. I'll make sure that after this no one will make fun of me. Nya! I won't fall! Nya. Since I am not a cat I am not afraid of highs! Nya."

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "You also shouldn't worry about falling, kitty. You know what they say: a kitten has nine lives and they always end up on their feet."

"FOR THE LAST TIME, YOU DAMN WOMAN I AM NOT A KITTY! NYAAAAA!"

Upon his outburst Purson lost balance and fell in the canyon along with the others.

"THIS DOESN'T COUNT! NYAAAA! THIS IS CHEATING! NYAAAA! YOU BITCH! YOU DID THIS ON PURPOSE! NYAAAA!"

Soon the pit started to fill with nyancats running round and a chibi Hatsune Miku riding on each of them singing Nyanyanyanyanyanyanya!

"CUUUUURRRSSSSEEEEE YYYYOOOOUUUU AAAAUUUUTTTHHHOOOORRR! NYAAAAAAA!"

"*Achoo* Why am I *achoo* starting to *achoo* sneeze…" François asked; "I am starting to have troubles with breathing too. My whole body is tickling too *achoo* and noo I have skin eruption! *achoo* I thought that as a Flame Haze we shouldn't get any allergies anymore! *achoo*"

Chigusa: "It wouldn't be a penalty if only Purson suffers, right?"

* * *

><p>After a few minutes of again painful climbing, dragging their unconscious group member and of course sneezing they finally climbed back; Purson was exploding and thanks to the Nyan cats and chibi Miku's singing he couldn't hear or see anything else but Nyan cat's giving a singing chibi Miku a ride. "Nya… nyan… nya nyan…"<p>

Domino and François looked at each other and then back to Purson. "Well I guess he's the next one that's out." Domino commented, while he pulled everyone on his back; "Okay everyone let's goooo!"

Domino stood there for a few minutes without moving an inch.

"Uhm." Grogach started; "Cantate Domino 28, you've been standing here for a while. Aren't you supposed to walk? "

"Aiyo? Well, you see I am a robot Rinne, since the author made us all powerless I am not able to move anymore. I normally get power of existence from the professor, but since that won't make any difference, it is of no use. I can carry you at least, but moving is out of the question."

"Nice, that we again are stuck in the pranks the author has in store for us. How are we supposed to win?" François asked.

"I don't know." Domino and Grogach answered in unison.

* * *

><p>After five more minutes Domino and the others fell from the bridge, this time their ears got tortured by Justin Bieber songs. "NOOOO, MY EARS! PLEASE HAVE MERCY AUTHOR! I CAN'T STAND THIS DEVILISH GAY MUSIC! I'D EVEN PREFER TO GET TROLLED BY THOUSANDS OF GIANT SHIN'I NO YUITE HEADS! PLEASE ANYTHING BUT THIS!" Domino cried in agony.<p>

"MY BRAIN! I AM GETTING MIND RAPED, PLEASE STOP! WHY ARE YOU MAKING ME GO THROUGH THIS AGAIN? IT WAS TERRIBLE ENOUGH WHEN THAT DEMON FORCED ME TO LISTEN TO THESE SONGS AS PUNISHMENT!" François screamed.

Meanwhile the judges turned on their iPod's and put on some sunglasses to protect themselves from the horror.

Chigusa: "Seems like this time the carrier didn't faint or landed in a coma or anything else along that line."

Kantarou: "I think we should help then getting out of there, this one seriously makes them immobile."

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Fine by me as long as we can finish this, with a lot of laughing, by the way Kocchi muite baby by Hatsune Miku totally rocks!"

Chigusa: "I prefer Kawada Mami's songs."

Kantarou: "KOTOKO is more my thing."

* * *

><p>And so, group TDDNA got pulled up by a hoisting crane. It was the turn of the last and weakest member of the team; François.<p>

"… I feel like the author is making fun of me."

"But doesn't she do that to anyone?" Domino asked.

"But I can't use my Flame Haze powers. At the moment I am weaker than my little sister, when she was alive. My nightmares will all happen again!" François went into emo state.

"Oww, come on, Shiei no Hajite, we all lost our powers. Everyone fell into the canyon, so it's not a shame if the same happens to you." Domino reassured.

"But they all fell thanks to the judges."

"The Saikyō no Morite, didn't. He fell on his own."

"I am sure the judges made the bridge very smooth before he walked on it."

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Just go already! You know what happens when a group takes too long to complete a mission."

"Fine, fine, *but if I fall and get a terrible trauma again you'll pay for my shrink appointments.*" François thought.

François tried to lift all the other members, but he was too weak to do it. "HNNNNGGGG! *huff huff* I can do it. *huff huff* I need to try a few more times *huff huff* HNGGG!"

* * *

><p>After a few hours of comical intent to lift them up, François finally was able to lift them a bit, but he was still too weak to lift them all and they all fell into the canyon for the fifth time.<p>

"GYYYYAAAAAAAAAA!"

"Oh geez, not again." Domino mumbled.

While they kept falling images of muscled half naked shemales appeared and they started to wink at the group.

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! MY NIGHTMARE CAME TRUE!" François screamed.

"My eyes, they're burning! Why did you have to show that! The author knows how much François has been abused! This is no laughing stock!" Grogach yelled in anger.

"I think I've seen everything now." Domino said in a monotone.

Chigusa: "I guess we'll have to wear these sunglasses for a while and it seems that now François-san has also lost consciousness. This means that Domino-san is the only one that's still conscious and so he has to carry his croup members until they're awake."

Kantarou: "Well, that's some terrible penalty. I am sure no one would be able to survive in there unharmed."

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "HAHAHAHAHA! Oh my, how hilarious. I'd like to know how the others would react if they fell inside. How will group TDDNA proceed with only one member?"

Mammon: "Haaah, Haaah. Oww, more! Please more haaah haaah! I need… a bigger… mirror… Haaah!"

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "… CHIGUSA, KANTAROU! GO LOOK FOR EVERY MIRROR IN THE WORLD AND DESTROY THEM AS FAST AS POSSIBLE! CAN SOMEONE FETCH ME SOMETHING TO LOCK THAT SELFLOVING HENTAI VAMPIRE AWAY?"

"Here you go."

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Thanks a lot Domi… WHAT HOW THE HELL DID YOU GET IN HERE? YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO COME HERE GET OUT!"

"But, I need some water and other recourses for my group members."

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "You're a participant; now get the hell out of here!"

Chigusa: "Now I guess it's finally time for the last group, Team Hitler to try out their luck."

**Group TH POV**

"FUCKING SLUT! MY TEAM IS CALLED THE CONQUEROR SOPHIE SAWALLISCH-SAMA AND NOT NAMED AFTER SOME GAY ASS RACIST."

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "_Who's the real racist here?"_

"WHAT WAS THAT BITCH?"

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "HAVE YOUR EARS GONE THAT BAD DUE TO YEAR AGE? WANT ME TO SPELL IT OUT FOR YOU? WHO'S THE REAL RACIST HERE OLD HAG?

"YOU LITTLE SLUT COME HERE SO THAT I CAN GIVE YOU SOME BEATING!"

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "WANT A PIECE OF ME? WELL COME HERE AND I'LL SEND YOUR FACE WHERE IT BELONGS! IN HELL WITH ALL THE OTHER ROTTEN DEAD OLD HAGS! I WON'T BACK DOWN FROM AN ANCIENT BITCH!"

Chigusa: "Uhm let's continue with the game shall we?"

"Sophie Sawallisch-kun, should we read what our mission is?" Takemikazuchi asked.

"Fine, fine. YOU, OLD NUT WITH THE REUMATISM AND YOUR SHITTY HOSPITAL COMPLAINS! READ THE PAPER OUR YOU'LL HAVE TO ADD BROKEN BONES TO YOUR LIST!"

Fecor already scarred to death took the note while quivering in fear and started to read; "Head n-no-north till you a-ar-arrive at the cave of d-d-de-despair, a-a-ago-agony and to-to-torture, that's filled with p-p-paint... You have to f-f-find a blue gl-glo-glowing crystal, while wearing n-no-n-nothing but your u-u-un-underwear…?"

Stolas, Haborym, Zirnitra and Samuel stare at each other and then at Fecor in horror.

"Please tell me you're kidding." Samuel begged.

"After all the torture we went through she's going to make it worse…" Zirnitra sobbed.

Fecor gave him the paper, after reading the paper, the faces of Stolas, Samuel and Haborym turned white. "NOOOOOOOOOOO!"

* * *

><p>A few minutes later…<p>

Samuel, Haborym, Fecor and Stolas are running, in their underwear through the cave, completely beaten up and traumatized, while carrying a half-naked yelling Sophie on their backs. "RUN FASTER NOOBS! I WANT TO FINISH THIS SHITTY RIDUCULOUS GAME AS FAST AS POSSIBLE. I CAN'T BELIEVE HOW FUCKING WEAK YOU GUYS ARE. I CAN EXPECITED FROM OLD FART SAMUEL AND HIS USELESS GUZE NO OU… ACTUALLY FROM THOSE WEAK BAL MASQUE MEMBERS TOO, BUT I EXPECTED A BIT MORE FROM YOU TRASH! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU'RE ONE OF THE SO CALLED 'PROUD' BAL MASQUÉ MEMBERS? I DON'T SEE ANYTHING PROUD ABOUT YOU BUNCH OF LOSERS! EVEN AN INJURED PUPPY CAN DO BETTER! NOW HURRY UP AND DON'T DROP ME TOO MUCH OR ELSE! I AM ALREADY COMPLETELY COVERED IN PAINT!"

"*Huff, huff*This is a nightmare. *huff* What *huff* did I do *huff* to deserve *huff* this?" Haborym asked himself.

"BECAUSE YOU'RE WEAK AND A GOOD FOR NOTHING DICK! I WONDER WHY YOU'RE SO HIGH RANKED IN BAL MASQUÉ OR IS IT BECAUSE THE OTHERS ARE EVEN WEAKER THAN YOU? I AM SURE THAT MOST OF THEM DON'T EVEN KNOW HOW TO KILL PROPERLY! " Sophie answered.

"Actually we…"

"SHUT THE FUCK UP BEFORE I SLICE OF YOUR THROAT AND STICK IT IN YOUR ASS!"

"…! Y-y-yes!"

"YES WHAT?"

"B-b-but I can't betray my commander he's one of the greatest leader that I…"

"IN THIS GAME I AM THE GROUP LEADER! SO DON'T YOU DARE TO MENTION THAT FUCKED UP HATEFULL SNAKE!"

"F-f-f-forgive me Sophie Sawallisch-sama!"

"That's much better."

"I have lost my will to live… of all the terrible things the author can torture us with, it has to be carrying her in her underwear… why… does she want us to burn our eyes? I even lost the little bit of my Flame Haze proud that I had…" Samuel complained.

"Be strong my fateful partner Samuel Demantius, we are going through this pain together, so… we have to try to endure this like we did all the other times." Zirnitra reassured him.

"WHAT PROUD YOU'RE ONE OF THE BIGGEST FAILURES IN FLAME HAZE HISTORY! YOU'RE BREATH STINKS THE ONLY THING YOU DO IS SULK ABOUT YOUR LIVE WITH YOUR FACEBOOK FRIENDS EVEN A SQUIRREL WOULD ACHIVE MORE THAN YOU AND ENDURE WHAT? I MOSTLY SEE YOU CRY AS A LITTLE GIRLS WHEN YOU THINK NO ONE HEARS YOU! YOU'RE JUST A BUCH OF WEAK CRY BABIES BOTH OF YOU AND IF I HEAR YOU TWO SULKING ONE MORE TIME I'LL MAKE YOU CRY EVEN HARDER THEN THE LAST TIME!"

"… W… w… we… WAAAAHHAAAAAAA!"

"AHAHAHAHAH! The sound of torture and despair, that's the sound that I love the most!"

* * *

><p>Meanwhile, Stolas was just getting dragged by the others while he was sulking and sobbing quietly; "I miss my friends to much. *sniff sniff*"<p>

"WHO THE FUCK CARES ABOUT YOUR GAY FRIENDS, WHO ONLY KNOW THE PLEASURE OF WATCHING SHITTY MORNING SHOWS THAT NO ONE WATCHES!"

"… I have nothing else in live! WAAHAAA!"

"WHY DOES NO ONE, SHARE ANY CONCERN FOR ME?" Fecor yelled while he started to throw a tantrum; "THIS OLD BITCH IS DESTROYING MY BACK AND AS IF THAT'S NOT ENOUGH THE CHEMICALS AROUND HERE ARE INTOXICATING ME! I'LL END UP DEATH BEFORE THIS GAME HAS FINISHED!"

Sophie got irritated by Fecor's complaining and kicked him. "STOP TALKING BULLSHIT YOU BASTARD! A TOMOGARA CAN'T HAVE ANY FUCKING BACK PROBLEMS OUR GET AFFECTED BY CHEMICALS… WHAT AM I SAYING OF COURSE YOU CAN YOU'RE A FUCKING WEAK OLD NUT! I CAN'T UNDERSTAND WHY THE SHITTY HORNY SNAKE MADE YOU A TOUR GUIDE OF YOUR LAME PALACE! NOW STOP COMPLAINING OR I'LL PUT SAMUEL'S DICK IN YOUR MOUTH AND ELECTROCUTE YOU BOTH, SO THAT YOU'LL BE IN THE HOSPITAL FOR YEARS! GOT THAT?"

"…EEEEEIIIIIII! I… I… FOOORRRRRRGIIIIVVVVEEE MMMEEEE! WAAAHAAAA!"

"AHAHAHAHAHA! I EVEN RULE THOSE WEAK TOMOGARA! TAKE THAT BAL MASQUÉ'S TRINITY AND FUCKING SNAKE GOD! ARE THESE ON OF THE MEMBERS YOU'RE SO PROUD OF? HAH I ONLY SEE A BUNCH OF SIX YEAR OLD CRYING FOR THEIR MOTHER! HAHAHAHAHA!"

Stolas, Haborym and Fecor shivered in fear and soon started to cry very loud. "C-C-CO-CO-COMMANDEEEER! PLEASE SAVE US! WE MISS YOU! PLEASE SAVE US FROM THE DEMON OF HELL SHE'LL KILL US!"

"WHAT THE FUCK DID I SAY ABOUT MENTIONING THAT DIGUSTING SNAKE! YOU'RE GOING TO PAY!"

A few seconds later the screams of Tomogara and a Flame Haze in agony was heard around the world, followed by a scary evil laugher of an old woman.

Chigusa: "That doesn't sound good."

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "For some reason I have a strange feeling in my stomach… I wonder what that is."

Chigusa: "That must be the feeling or guilt and pity."

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Are you kidding me? This stuff is worth gold and I just realized that I forgot to eat through the whole game. This is all too hilarious that until now I didn't notice that I was hungry!"

Kantarou: "I sometimes wonder, do you have a conscious or not?" 

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "I think I left it with all the other stuff I lost in my childhood. Now let's continue with the game."

After fifteen more minutes of horrible Sophie torturing the group finally arrived at the place, where they found a beautiful giant blue shinning crystal. Fecor, Samuel, Zirnitra, Haborym and Stolas looked at it in amazement.

"It… it… it looks so heavy Fecor pointed out."

"THAT'S WHY, YOU BUNCH OF WEAKLINGS ARE GOING TO CARRY IT TOGETHER!" Sophie said.

"But, aren't we supposed to carry you Sophie Sawallisch-sama." Samuel asked.

"YOU THING I AM AN IDIOT OR SOMETHING? I'LL BE SITTING ON THE CRYSTAL OF COURSE! NOW MOVE IT!"

"…"

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "…They come across a crystal that they could sell for billions and the first thing they think about it is how heavy it is… They're really missing something in their brains."

Kantarou: "What else would you expect from them? They're traumatized by Sophie-san and I am sure that the torturing isn't even over."

Chigusa: "Flower-san I was wondering, what do you have with crystals? You like stones that much?"

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "That too, plus I am also a big Final Fantasy fan where crystals appear almost every time. Too bad I can't play all the games, since I don't own a PlayStation, but at least I am able to play some versions even the spin offs are good. Crystal chronicles made me cry in the end."

Chigusa: "Everyone has their hobbies I guess… and group TH's leader is torturing others as we can see on the screen."

"CAN IT BE SLOWER THAN THIS? COME ON WHAT KIND OF WEAKLINGS ARE YOU? YOU'RE NO HUMANS SO HURRY UP WITH YOUR FUCKING PACE!"

Stolas, Haborym, Fecor and Samuel are carrying the heavy crystal with Sophie on stop with trouble, after a few minutes of effort Fecor collapses; "… I… can't… go on… anymore… please… leave me here… and save yourself…"

"What are you saying Fecor-sama?" Stolas asked; "We are going through this together, we're a team!"

"But… the smell… the feet of the Shin'i no Yuite is burning my nose…"

"FUCKING BASTARDS! YOU WANNA KNOW WHAT A HORRIBLE SMELL IS? THEN I HAVE A BAG FULL OF TOENAILS THAT HAVE BEEN CUT OFF FROM THE FLAME HAZE! TAKE THIS!"

* * *

><p>One hour later…<p>

Group TH finally made it out of the cave, of course the only one intact was Sophie, the others on the contrary had gone insane and started honor the fresh air, the blue sky and any other useless object to fill their heads with something.

Chigusa: "We should hire a shrink for them don't you think? Also just in case their sessions go wrong they can stay in the basement for a while until they calmed down."

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "This sandwich is delicious… or maybe it's because I haven't eaten the whole time, but hail subway! They sell one of the most delicious sandwiches ever!"

Kantarou: "It seems like the rates have increased again, seeing an old woman torturing others is something that amuses the audience wow what a successful show we have."

Mammon: "!"

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Am I glad that we locked him up. Let's see what will become with the rest of the game."

**Normal POV**

Some hours later.

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Okay now we're finally finished with the spring game. Let the contestants enter the main hall for the results!"

Yuji, Shana, Ike, Ribersal and Lamies walked inside the hall, wearing only pajamas; Yuji wore a cute strapless girls top with some shorts, Ike, Ribersal and Lamies wore the same and Shana came in with a cute Spheal themed baby PJ for her size. They all looked very embarrassed especially Yuji.

Shana and Ribersal were staring shocked at Yuji.

"… Ribersal… say one worth and I'll give you the worst punishment I can come up with." Yuji threatened.

"Co-commander…"

"I think this is a lot better that being naked." The Sairei no Hebi commented.

"What do you know about it? You mostly are just coming out only when you feel like talking."

"That's because you gave me an headache the first two chapter when I was stuck with you. Have you got any idea how many times I wish I could just get rid of you or punch the words in your head?"

"A snake can't punch; they don't have hands remember…"

"… I'll respect the author a lot if she'd give him more brains… please even after a long absence and being grateful for not putting me that much with him… I still want to kill him if he says anything stupid."

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Hell no, he's the key of my story… well one of the key's but thanks to Yuji I can come up with a lot of funny scenes. So just cope with him like I do."

"… THIS IS RIDICULOUS! WHY AM I WEARIN A POKEMON PJ? Even though it looks cute… but I am not a baby!" Shana complained.

Chigusa: "Oh my, that pajama looks exactly like the one Yu-chan wore when he was just a cute little child."

"Mother, why are you telling them all those embarrassing things? It doesn't matter to them and you were supposed to keep it a secret!"

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: '…. HAHAHAHAHAHA! That's priceless you whore such a cute pajama when you were five years old? HAHAHAHA!"

Chigusa: "Actually he wore it until he was eleven."

The whole room was quiet for a moment until everyone busted out in laughter… well except for the hentai snake of course. "HAHAHAHAHAHAH!"

"… You have a death wish or something?" Yuji sneered while holding a black fire ball in his hand."

Lamies was stuffing his/ her nose that was bleeding horribly, full with toilet paper and Ike looked with disgust at the Tomogara. "You're sick in your head you know that."

"What do you know kid? You've never been in love once, haven't you?"

"Of course I have, I have a huge crush on Ceres from Pandora's Tower: Until I return to your side. She's so cute, hot and sexy."

"Isn't Ceres that girl who's got a curse that will transform her into a hideous monster?"

"Yup, and the only way to push back that curse for her is to eat some special meat."

"… So you have a crush on a girl from a game that sooner or later will turn into a monster and that's forced to eat monster meat in order to survive?

"Yeah so?"

"And you're calling me sick."

"First it's not only her that I like, Manania and Kanan from The last story are also hot, sexy and cute. Second I at least won't nose bleed every time I play Pandora's tower and The Last story…"

"You do know that Manamia and Ceres sound alike, right?"

"Duh, I love their voices. Their voices sound so kawaii! It's so moe!

"… Don't they sound the same like a certain female that we know very well…?"

"I wasn't even finished! And at least I am not getting aroused with the body of my dead old lover, not am I using the body of the person I love and touch myself every day, when I think no one is looking."

"Y-y-you shut up!"

A few seconds later Margery's group appeared; Margery in front and still drunk and swinging a sick Marchosias like mad, followed by a happily skipping Hecate, who was humming some song. Satou and Tanaka where walking behind carrying an unconscious bloody beaten up Sydonay.

"OHOHOHOH! This was the best game of my entire life *hiccup*. I've never had such a delicious drink *hiccup*. Let's keep this up Marco *hiccup*! Round and round and round till you throw up! *Hiccup*"

"… P-pl-please… so-someone… ugh help me… I… think… I am… going to throw up… ugh…"

-_- "~ Mhmmmmm it's a beautiful day, the sun is shining and I'm feeling okay. ~ I want ice cream and some snacks." Hecate hummed.

"*Hiccup* Let's not forget the alcohol! *Hiccup*"

"My clothes are all covered in blood; I need to take a shower after this." Satou said.

"At least you don't have it as bad as I." Tanaka commented; "He puked on me while carrying him!"

Margery stopped drinking and Hecate stopped humming when they spotted Yuji and the others.

"Eehhh *hiccup*? Chibi-chan what happened to your and Yuji… you look funny *hiccup* don't tell me you wanted to know the feeling of crossdressing *hiccup*. I have to say *hiccup* Yuji, you look fucking hilarious hahahah! I've never *hiccup* seen such a *hiccup* 'cute' girl. *hiccup* I didn't even knew you were a girl in the first place *hiccup*"

"Shut up, I am not a girl!"

-_- "We should look if there is a set for the lolicon hentai."

Yuji looked shocked at Sydonay's bloody body. "Priestess what happened to the general?"

"He got what he deserved commander."

Yuji turned to Tanaka and Satou for explanation. "He spilled ane-san's beer over her clothes and so she started to beat him up with Marchosias." Tanaka explained.

"So…" Satou started; "What happened to you guys?"

Yuji, Shana, Ike, Ribersal and Lamies looked at Satou indifferently; "That's classified."

"OMG IT SEEMS LIKE WE'VE MISSED A FUCKING AWESOME PARTY!"

Group one and two turned to the owner of the voice; Rebecca and her group had arrived. Bel Peol was staring shocked at her commander and Ribersal, Wilhelmina and Rebecca looked like they were about to laugh their ass of when they saw Yuji, Yoshida looked shocked at her friends and Decarabia was trying to hide from the crowd. Group one and two where quiet for a while; they were too speechless to say something.

"Strategist… what the hell are you wearing?"

"I-it wasn't my fault commander, in the mission we got was stated that we had to wear these revealing clothes! The author forced us in these!"

"And you guys are saying that we look weird, but look at what you guys are wearing and why is Decarabia hiding behind you?" Lamies asked.

"Don't worry we wanted to show the best at last! Now come out coconut bitch! Rebecca announced while pulling Decarabia towards the people."

"IIIEEEEEEEEE! NOOO!" Decarabia screamed.

"…" The whole room was quiet for a moment until everyone burst out in laughter. "HAHAHAHAHAHA!"

"Decarabia what the hell are you wearing?" Lamies asked; "You look like a slutty coconut fish HAHAHA!"

"Now I feel a lot better." Yuji said; "Wearing these PJ's is a lot less humiliating that wearing a coconut bra and… ARE THOSE FAKE BOOBS?"

"… C-C-CO-COMMANDER!" Decarabia yelled in embarrassment."

-_- "I'll borrow it later for the hentai jiji, I am sure he'll look better in those than a fish."

"… Priestess!"

"HAHAHA *hiccup*. Maybe, I'll hire you *hiccup* for one of my parties! HAHAHA *hiccup*!"

"HAHAHAHA, YOU'RE DAMN RIGHT ABOUT THAT! MY PARTY LOVING FRIEND MISTREATHING MARGERY DAW! HAHAHAHAH! WHO'D GUESS, THAT A FISH COULD SERVE PERFECTLY FOR FANSERVICE AND IN A HUMOROUS WAY TOO!"

"OMG HAHAHAHA! I NEED TO FILM THIS AND SHOW IT IN THE NEXT ANIME CONVENTION!" Ike yelled.

"IT'S NOT FUNNY! THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FAULT TO BEGIN WITH. I WAS FORCED TO WEAR THIS, BESIDES I AM NOT THE ONLY ONE THAT LOOKS RIDICULOUS; EVEN THE RASEN NO FŪKIN, THE COMMANDERS HUMAN FRIEND, RIBERSAL AND THE COMMANDER LOOK REDICULOUS!"

Yuji stopped laughing and gave Decarabia a death glare. Decarabia flinched and took a few steps back. "F-F-Forgive me commander!"

"I am sure he'd look better in a maid costume. –De arimasu." Wilhelmina commented.

"Cosplaying."

While everyone was still laughing Ogata's group arrived, they immediately stood still from shock when they saw what happened to the other contestants. "… WHAT ARE THEY WEARING?" Ogata asked.

"HEHEHEHEH… Decarabia looks ridiculous… HAHAHAHA!" Pirsoyn commented as it burst out in laugher.

"Oooooh, can I wear something like that? Can I can I can I can I? Please please please please!" Khamsin asked as he was jumping up and down.

"NO!" They all yelled.

"~What would be a great day

Cosplaying Flame Haze yeah that's my way

Looking like the innocent little Spheal

Oww what is this that I suddenly feel

Let's do it like the Pokémon way

You don't need to be scared I won't sway

As your bodies are coming close

It'll feel like it's time that froze… !~"

Yuji hit Rofocale hard with his snake hair and stabbed him multiple times with Bloodsauger in a very cold and scary manner; "HOW ARE YOU MAKING UP SONGS ABOUT MY WIFE! HAVEN'T I TOLD YOU THAT YOU'LL GET PUNISHED HARD IF YOU'LL DO THAT? I WON'T HAVE ANY MERCY YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" He threatened in a very cold tone that would even make Hecate shiver in fear.

"DO IT COMMANDER! HIT HIM THOUSAND TIMES MORE! MAKE HIS ORGANS EXPLODE!" Pirsoyn cheered as it jumped on Rofocale's face and started to stab him fast with a poisoned knife.

Everyone started to look at the scene in horror.

"Aiyo? What is the ruckus here?" Domino asked, as he entered the room with his fallen group members on his back; "Why is everyone? OMG what is the commander doing to the Shougyaku no Hei? … He… he looks so scary… I WANT MY MOMMY! PROFESSOR!"

Everyone turned to Domino as he started to find some place to hide.

"Domino? What happened to everyone in your team? They look horrible…" Sabrac asked.

"H-ho-horri…ble… s-s-song… g-gay s-s-singer… l… IT WAS TERRIBLE EVERYONE LOST CONSCIOUSNESS; THE PROFESSOR GOT ANOTHER SHIITAKE MUSHROOM ALERGY ATTACK, PURSON's mind collapses after the Hatsune Miku nyancat invasion and the Saikyō no Morite together with the Shuchō no Tsudumi, the Shiei no Hajite and the Hagyou no Senku got mind raped by half naked muscled shemales and trolling Shin'i no Yuite faces. We need to carry them to the hospital and fast!"

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Now wait a minute! The last group hasn't arrived yet and no one is allowed to leave until we finished broadcasting!"

"But some of the participants are greatly injured or in terrible state they have to get treated and fast!" Shana said.

Chigusa: "I thought Flame Haze and Tomogara could handle these kinds of things."

Kantarou: "Not if the one responsible for it is the author."

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "You make me sound as if I am the bad guy…"

Fecor, Samuel, Haborym, and Stolas, with Sophie on top of them arrived shortly after. The others screamed in horror as they saw the half-naked Sophie, except for Yuji, who turned around quickly and covered Shana's eyes and Hecate who stole Sydonay's sunglasses for protection after she disinfected them.

"AAAAAARRRRGGGGHHH! MY EYES SOMEONE HELP ME! IT HURTS SO MUCH, MY EYES ARE BURNING!" Ribersal screamed in agony.

"Don't look directly at them! No cover your eyes quick!" Bel Peol demanded.

"FUCKING USELESS BASTARDS YOU'RE REALLY GOOD FOR NOTHING! YOU DROPPED ME TOO MUCH WHILE I CLEARLY SAID NOT TO DROP ME! PIECE OF SHIT! DON'T THINK YOU'LL GET AWAY UNPUNISHED! I'LL MAKE SURE YOU'LL BE…"

Sophie kept on yelling and kicking, but her group members' souls and spirits were too broken, to be able to hear, see or feel anything. Being too traumatized by carrying Sophie in her old hag's underwear made them go blind and dried out their brains.

"… OMG what happened to them?" Marchosias asked shocked.

"It looks as if someone drained out their lives…" Alastor commented.

"Parasite." Tiamat added.

"And a big one too." Balar said.

"FUCKING USELESS GUZE NO OU! SHUT THE FUCK UP! OR I'LL MAKE SURE YOUR CONTRACTORS WILL END UP WORSE THAN THESE FOUR SHITBAGS!"

"…*GULP*"

Soon the judges appeared and Mammon was chained and put into a bag that only left his face uncovered.

"… Author… can I get out of the bag please?"

"No you haven't paid any attention to the game; you didn't have any comments about the participants! And the only things we heard, where your moanings when you were masturbating yourself! Now do your job as a judge right for once!"

"Well that was a satisfying game, although not everything went that successful." Chigusa commented.

"… *giggle* My opinion in this game was… HAHAHA the hell with my comments! HAHAHAHAHA WHAT A HECK OF A GAME! I LOVED THE PART WHERE YOU ALL GOT HIMULIATED THE MOST! HAHAHAH!"

"Flower-san, you shouldn't rub it in their faces, some of them did tried their best."

"Eheheh, fine fine Kantarou. Let's get on with the results… for the game. "

"The results are….. So horrible that I don't dare to tell them, it's saddening. Seriously after all those rounds you guys had you failed mostly all of them, not only that… you all lost all your points because of your horrible team work, but since I am not the heartless one here, I've got a consolation prize for you guys!"

All the participants looked shocked and surprised at the declaration. "…You… will give us… a consolation prize?" The Sairei no Hebi asked.

"Yeah, so what?"

"It sounds too nice to be you."

"Okay then you guys won't get a consolation prize…"

"Wait that's not what my stupid alter ego meant!" Yuji yelled.

"Who's the stupid one here?"

"I at least won't insult her when she's considering to do something nice for once!"

"That's because it sounds too fishy!"

"… So you guys want a consolation prize or not?" Flower asked.

"YESSS!" Everyone yelled.

"Ohohoh okay here's your consolation prize, itadakimasu!"

Soon chocolate mousse was dropped on the participants, making them sticky, wet and of course chocolicious.

"…"

Sydonay and Rofocale immediately gained consciousness. Sydonay jumped towards Hecate and Rofocale toward Pirsoyn and Khamsin. "HEECAAATTEEEE-CHHHHAAAAANNNN! PLEASE LET ME LICK THE CHOCOLATE FROM YOUR BODY! OOOUUUUCHHH!"

-_- "What does it have to take this annoying parasite down for good? Hecate wondered while she put her rail gun back in her pockets.

"~Dear Pirsoyn-chan and Khamsin-chan

Let's me lick you on and on… GYAAAA!~"

Pirsoyn again lunged itself to Rofocale and stabbed him with its poisoned knife. "DIE DIE DIE DIE! WHAT DO I NEED TO DO TO GET RID OF YOU FOR GOOD? CURSE YOU? LOCK YOU UP IN A TOWER? TORTURE YOU TO DEATH? GYYAAAAAA!"

While Sydonay and Rofocale where getting strangled and tortured to death, Bel Peol started at herself for a while before she stared to lick herself clean. "OMG… *Lick* THIS MOUSSE… *lick*IS SO *lick* DELICIOUS *lick* THIS IS A RARE AND EXPENSIVE BRAND *lick* MUST *lick* EAT *lick *EVERYTHING!"

Yuji stared at Shana for a while before he started to approach her. "Shana you look so hot and sexy with that mousse… I can't help, but to feel very aroused right now! Let me clean you Shana!"

Shana backed away from Yuji as quickly as she could. "… KYYAAAA! Someone help me!"

"GET… AWAY… FROM… SHANA… MYSTES… OR… I'LL SLICE… YOU UP… FOR SURE!" Wilhelmina threated, while she took her knife out and tried to attack Yuji, but she was hold back by the other Flame Haze.

"*Hiccup* chocolate *hiccup* with beer *hiccup* tastes so great *hiccup*"

"HAHAAHAHA! Just promise me you won't puke on me, my chocolate booze smelling Margery Da… ughh!"

"Come on Marco *hiccup*! You need to have *hiccup* some of this delicious drink too *hiccup* it's a once in a live time *hiccup*"

"…. SOMEONE SAVE MEEEE!"

Chigusa clapped in her hands; "Enough fun guys, since no one was able to win the price the judges will receive the tickets to the luxurious resort, with the all what you can eat buffet, entertaining activities, hotsprings, giant luxurious bedroom, private swimming pool, private maids, expensive liquor and a lot of other things."

Everyone stopped with what they were doing and looked shocked a Chigusa.

"Did… you say… all you can eat buffet?" Bel Peol asked.

"Private… maids… –De arimasu…" Wilhelmina mumbled.

"… Astonished…"

"… Hotsprings?" Yoshida and Ogata asked.

"Expensive… *hiccup* liquor… *hiccup*…" Margery mumbled.

"… giant luxurious bedrooms?" Stolas wondered.

"… What's so good about that?" Yuji asked; "I have that all in Seireiden.

"DON'T WRING IT IN OUR FUCKING HANDS HENTAI GOD OF CREATION!" Rebecca yelled.

"How come you didn't mention what the price was?" Shana asked.

"We wanted to keep it as a surprise." Kantarou explained; "But since none of you won we'll have to go ourselves."

"Okay now that that's settled, time to respond to some fan mail, Mammon!" Flower called.

Mammon came back with an enormous bag filled with letters.

"Okay first letter is from JorgeRedOtaku."

"What's that for a name?" Pirsoyn asked.

"Fanname, why would I mention their real name? It's a privacy measure."

"And our privacy is nothing…?" Pirsoyn complained.

"Shut up and let me finish with responding to these fanmails; Dear Dreamingflower, I really love your stories and this game was fabulous, I wanted to know, is Hecate single.

-_- "WTF?"

"AHAHAHAHAHA! OMG well of course she is single, why else is Sydonay stalking her. Anyway I wish you luck with pursuing her, next letter is from Brian-kun

Dear Dreamingflower, I loved watching this game it's so funny. I would like to get a picture of group STD in their PJs and Decarabia in his coconut costume for my Facebook account, could you please send them to me?"

"WHAT?" Decarabia and group STD asked shocked.

"That's twisted, what idiot would ask for something that insane?" Yuji asked.

"My fans of course, and as answer of course I'll send you them. Next letter is from… my sis lolz."

"Fuck… no… please." Shana begged.

"Dear onē-chan I want to say through this letters how much I enjoyed watching your show, the penalties and the missions here the best. I love Decarabia in coconut costume that was so hilarious. Would you mind if I post it on YouTube and facebook?"

"… She is as twisted as her sister…" Behemoth commented.

"SILENCE! I am the only one who's allowed to insult her! Now my dear imouto you're more than welcome to share it on YouTube and Facebook. Next letter is from… Chibishana.

"Chibishana?" Shana repeated.

"Of course you should expect with Shakugan no Shana fans you'd get names like that. Now no more comments until I finished; Dear Dreamingflower, thanks a lot for airing this for us, I laughed so hard that I needed to get some air. Every time when I watched the anime I always thought that Yuji was the Yaoi type, since he hardly showed any signs of liking Shana and since Ike and Yuji look so close sometimes...

"WHAT THE FUCK? I AM NOT GAY AND I HATE ANIME AN MANGA. STOP MAKING UP THESE INSANE STORIES. I DON'T READ YAOI MANGA, I DON'T WATCH YAOI ANIME!" Yuji yelled.

"Shush shush Yu-chan, onē-sama is reading."

"Don't make fun of me!"

"Well Chibi, I sometimes also thought he could be gay… but since he… once in a while showed affections toward Shana and he never tried to kiss Ike or do things to him, I had to conclude that he's 50% straight."

"FOR THE LAST TIME STOP MAKING FUN OF ME!"

"This letter is from Ceejswifty; Dear Dreamingflower I really love your show and your stories, they're very unique. I was wondering if you maybe could ask Shana to cosplay as Kuroyukihime from Accel world and give me a picture of that."

"What has that to do with your story or this game?" Shana asked.

"Nothing actually, but I also want to see you cosplaying as her hehe."

"…"

"Next letter is from Warfiire; Hii Dreamingflower, great show seriously and your story damn funny. You really have a lot of fantasy, I was always wondering about Pirsoyn's gender. I noticed that you call Pirsoyn it as if Pirsoyn is a thing. What gender is Pirsoyn actually?"

"Well my dear Warfiire, I call Pirsoyn it because it's an it."

"STOP LYING BITCH! I AM GENDERLESS, BUT THAT DOESN'T MEAN THAT YOU HAVE TO CALL ME AN IT! PEOPLE REFER ME AS AN SHE LIKE IN THE NOVEL!" Pirsoyn yelled.

"Genderless= it in my dictionary Pirs-chan so you're an it."

"GO TO HELL!"

"Next letter from… Limeberry. I feel so honored that she wrote me a letter about my show *sniff*Hiiii Aurra I love your game this is the funniest thing that I've seen in my entire life…"

"Who's Aurra?" Lamies asked.

"That's how Limey calls me, got a problem with that?"

"No I was just…"

"Be quiet! Now where was I oww yah; I also adore Shana and Yuji they're my favorite couple."

"See there are other persons who support us. Shana you shouldn't run away from our relationship." Yuji said in a proud tone.

"But I still love all the parts were you humiliate Yuji and his alter ego the most.

"WHAT? YOU LITTLE…!"

"Now here's my question, if Yuji and Shana were to have babies what color would their hair be, Red or Black?"

"I actually wondered the same thing… Yuji or Shana do you have the answer?"

Shana stood frozen for a while"… WHAT?"

"Well, since Shana never gave me an opportunity to find out…"

"You're… going… to far… Mystes…!" Wilhelmina threatened. "And author, tell your twisted friends to not encourage the Mystes or they'll also pay!"

"Well Limey I guess we have to wait for that and see what the future brings us. If I have to guess it could be both… or they'll have two hair colors at the same time HAHAHA! Next one is send by Cloverbell :D yaay; Hi Aurra…"

"Again the same nickname?" Stolas asked.

"It's not uncommon that some people have the same nickname for a person so shut it! Let me continue; your show really blew me off, it was great, I loved how you were able to come up with different missions and penalties for each group. It's very original; I have a question for Ribersal, Stolas, Pirsoyn and Purson. They're mostly together as a group… but sometimes I wonder if they're a lovers group…"

Ribersal, Stolas, Pirsoyn and Purson stood there speechless for a while. "WHAT MAKE YOU THINK WE ARE CRUSHING ON EACHOTHER!" Ribersal hollered.

"I kinda understand where Clov is coming from, I mean you guys are always together, you have the same weird hobbies and you're hardly separated, unless Yuji or I say so."

"But that doesn't mean…"

"Next letter… is from SouthytheOtaku…"

"They need some original names." Margery complained.

"Shut up and stop complaining about their names! There's nothing wrong with expressing yourself with that… now back to the letter; Dear Flower, This show was seriously the bomb, I am surprised that all the participants are still alive. I wanted to ask; why does Khamsin think, that Behemoth and Yoshida-san are his parents? I mean a six year old kid should already know the difference between that."

"Is that letter from my oba-san? Can I hug her and tell her I love her? PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE?" Khamsin asked while he started to jump around again.

"Khamsin… Southy is a guy not a woman second you don't have grandparents… well Southy I am sure you know now why Khamsin thinks Yoshida and behemoth are his parents… he's a retarded kid. Just before got contracted by Behemoth his home got attacked by a Tomogara, Khamsin thought it was a toy and well a terrible accident happened Behemoth came and made accidently a contract with him… and well Khamsin who first only heard his voice thought he was his dad and well you know the rest… as for Yoshida… you know that he was send for tuning in season one. Behemoth was actually doing all the work and at the Misago festival well Khamsin was running around there like crazy Yoshida tried to calm him down and tried to distract him and all the other crap and out of nowhere he started to call her mommy in front of the public. Lolz you should imagine how embarrassed she became. Hahaha!"

"… Thanks for reminding me of that humiliating incident." Yoshida said sarcastically.

"Now on to the next letter, is from JohnPeaceKeeper."

"This one sounds a bit normal." Stolas mumbled.

"You know what, I am just going to ignore you all until I am done; Hello Dreamingflower, your show really entertained me and all the participants were very amusing. Too bad no one won except for the judges I was wondering if there's ever a possibility that Hecate will talk more than she normally does, she hardly talks just like Link from the Zelda games I am sure a lot of people think she's mute or very shy."

-_- "… Why are people complaining about my behavior? I am not mute or shy… I just don't bother to talk to other people, because I think it's annoying."

"Oww come on Hecate-chan, if you don't bother talking to others… then how can I explain your, oh so secret hobby?"

-_- "Say anything out loud and you'll be sorry."

"I am sure a lot of people will buy those games if they knew you voiced some of the characters from; The Last Story and Pandora's Tower."

"… Priestess… you… walked over to the dark side? Why? And why didn't you tell anyone?" Yuji asked in disappointment.

-_- "It's none of your business."

"He-He-Hecate-chan! Why, didn't you tell me anything about it?"

-_- "A hentai lolicon like you isn't worth talking to."

"… uh… uh… WAAAHAAAA! Hecate-chan called me hentai!"

Bel Peol sighed; "Sydonay how many time do I…"

"DON'T YOU DARE TO SAY THAT! HECATE-CHAN AND I ARE MEND FOR EACHOTHER!"

-_- "I think I need to puke."

"HAH! I knew those voices sounded so familiar!" Shana declared; "I have much more respect for you Itadaki no Kura. You made a piece of heaven!"

-_- "Shut up Flame Haze…"

"Aww Shana-chan flattered Hecate-chan." Flower cheered.

-_- "No I…"

"Last letter… YukariPurecrimsonHirai; Hiii Dreamingflower! Thanks for showing us this hilarious show and I can't believe how much Bel Peol is addicted to food. Will she seriously jump at the first person who's covered in food? By the way what's her favorite food?"

"… her favorite food… eh Bel Peol you can answer that, right?"

"Hmm?" Bel Peol looked up from the pile of chocolate mousse that she was still eating; "My favorite food are; Caviar, Foie grass, Escargot and Haggis." She answered proudly.

"… Yuck… well that answers one question as for the other one… Mammon get me an umbrella."

"Uhm, okay."

When Mammon came back with an umbrella, delicacy that consisted out of Bel Peol's favorite dishes started to fall from the sky. "OMG IT'S EVERYWHERE FOOD! ITTADAKIMASU!" Bel Peol threw herself at the food and started to eat it from the first person she saw.

"GYAAAA! GET HER OF ME SHE'LL EAT ME WITH THAT DISGUSTING FOOD!" Stolas screamed.

"THIS IS HORRIBLE! I STINK LIKE FISH EGGS AND DUCKSLIVER!" PIRSOYN YELLED.

"*couch*… This… smell… is… making… me… sick… ugh… BLAARRRGH" Centerhill said.

"SOMEONE HELP US!" Samuel begged.

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Well that was it for our special spring game and the letters I hoped you guys liked it! Stay tuned and keep an eye out for the next chapter. Bye bye!"

"NOT SO FAST YOU DAMNED AUTHOR!" Yuji and the Sairei no Hebi yelled; "This time you won't be able to get away unpunished for what you did to us!"

xxxDreamingflowerxxx: "Don't forget to review guys! I gotta go now. Chigusa, Kantarou, please be nice and calm your stupid son down."

"COME BACK AND STOP BEING A COWARD! THIS TIME I WON'T ALLOW YOU TOO…"

The end-

* * *

><p>Authors note: Try out Pandora's Tower and The Last Story… but use YouTube and mute your TV for Japanese voices. For the Hecate fans that's the best way to enjoy the game and be able to hear more of Noto Mamiko ;D and happy late mother's day everyone!<p>

Ps: OMG I broke a new record! More than 11k words time to celebrate! Strawberry cake for everyone!


	18. Otaku convention Special

I'm sorry, I'm sooo sorry sorry sorry, for taking so long on this chapter, but well summer vacation started and then you have so many things on your head, like watching anime, read manga, playing video games. I finally finished The last story and wow that game was so awesome. Also my laptop broke so I bought a new one. Stupid Microsoft Word also had a bit of problems. So I decided to try something else. Well at least I got another super long chapter for you guys.

Shana: At least we could take a break.

Me: Time... is so short T^T. Before I knew it its august already. Ugh stupid stupid me!

Bel Peol: Well we shouldn't keep the readers waiting. xxxDreamingflowerxxx doesn't own Shakugan no Shana. So enjoy this other special chapter.

Me: I must have gone crazy, that's why I didn't update, yes that's it!

Shana: You're going crazy now...

* * *

><p>Otaku convention Special<p>

**Normal POV**

It was another … 'normal' day in Seireiden, Bal Masque's commander; Sakai Yuji together with the Trinity, was FINALLY doing something for the preparations of the Grand Order. They were in a deep discussion, until the door suddenly slammed open. The four looked confused at the figure standing at the door; a fifteen year old boy, with short brown hair and glasses ran towards the young commander. "Kooonnichiwa Sakai!"

Yuji looked confused at his childhood friend. "Ike, what are you doing here? Moreover, how the hell were you able to find this place? Seireiden is supposed to be hidden by a barrier and what the hell are you wearing?!"

"… Are you blind? I cosplayed myself as Ike from Fire Emblem, he's my favorite game character and no one is stronger than him! It's the best cosplay ever, since I am Ike myself!"

"… That's your last name idiot. Now answer my other questions please. How were you able to find this place?"

"That's irrelevant!"

"… then, what the hell are you doing here!"

"Sakai, Sakai, you're really forgetful aren't you?"

"If the matter doesn't concern; me, Shana or anything else that's in the range of my interests. I won't bother remembering it." Yuji said in a proud tone while crossing his arms.

"Hahaha, silly Sakai. You really forgot about it didn't you. The annual otaku convention has finally arrived at Misaki city and I don't want to miss it."

"… annual otaku convention…?"

"Come on, I've told you about this for months remember."

"… As I said before if the things don't concern my range of interest, I won't bother remembering them."

"Hahaha, oh Sakai, Sakai, enough jokes. Let's go before we miss the coolest stuff that they have there." Ike said while he grabbed his friend and dragged him with him.

"Now wait a sec, you know that I don't like those kind of, no I hate them! I prefer getting kidnapped by the Japanese government again, than… IKE, ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING!? LET ME GO! IKEEEEE!"

And so Yuji got dragged to the Otaku convention by Ike, while the Trinity was watching in shock and confusion. Bel Peol turned to her two comrades; Sydonay and Hecate. "Uhm, shouldn't we go after the commander and his friend?"

"It's fine." Sydonay replied. "The commander is only going to have some fun with his friend at an otaku… Wait, OMG the commander hates those kinds of things! Commanderrrr, wait for us!"

Sydonay immediately grabbed an indifferent Hecate and a surprised Bel Peol and stormed after their commander.

**Yuji's POV**

I stared in horror at the building that was in front of us. It was very big, decorated with balloons and some stupid commercial boards about the latest games, anime and manga. "You've got to be kidding me…"

Ike turned to me with a big smile on his face. "What are you waiting for Sakai, let's go!"

"Ike please you know I don't like these kinds of… Ike! Listen to me for once!"

I got dragged from place to place and was forced to try out game samples and to check the latest manga. This is really worse than hell.

"I am so glad that you finally decided to cosplay for a convention and your costume looks really good. From what game or anime is it? No, don't say anything let me guess! Is it… from Fire Emblem? No that's not possible, the characters from Fire Emblem aren't dressed like that…. Nobunaga's Ambition, Pandora's tower, Final Fantasy, Kingdom Hearts, Soul Calibur, Chrono Crusade, Super Smash Brothers, Higurashi no Naku Koro Ni, Black Cat, Inuyasha, Rosario+Vampire, Kirby, The Legend of Zelda, Shaman King?"

I looked in disbelief at Ike's stupid answers. He kept on guessing and guessing and I started to believe that he was just naming up the first thing that came to his mind.

"Itsuka Tenma no Kuro Usagi, Highschool DxD, Angel Beats, Clannad, Accel World, The Melancholy of Haruhi Suzumiya, Infinite Stratos, RomeoXJuliet, Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu or maybe…"

"I AM NOT COSPLAYING! THIS IS MY USUAL APPEARANCE, WHY THE HELL WOULD I COSPLAY IF I HATE ANYTHING RELATED TO THAT!"

Ike looked confused at me for a while. "That's impossible Sakai, your hair wasn't that long or black. You had short brown hair and your eyes were bluer, it's impossible to let your hair grow in such a short time. Also no one would wear that as a daily outfit. Your mother wouldn't buy that in the first place. It has to be cosplay!"

"… For the last time, this is not cosplay and for your information my mom doesn't buy my clothes, she gave me money to buy my clothes. As Bal Masqué's leader I'm supposed to look presentable and of course for Shana too. She should be happy that I'm taking good care of her, giving her enough attention and love so she won't…"

"LET'S GO ALREADY SAKAI!"

Ike pulled me into the building before I was able to finish my sentence.

* * *

><p>The building looked even bigger inside, but of course it's still nothing compared to Seireiden. There were stands everywhere and everyone was cosplayed as someone. You could hear the laugher of the kids and chatting of the people about their favorite games, anime or manga. It annoyed the crap out of me.<p>

"Ike wouldn't it be better if you…"

"Look Sakai, we can have a small preview of the new Rosario+Vampire season 2 volume. Oww there's the whole DVD set of the Itsuka Tenma no Kuro Usagi anime and there's…"

I stopped listening to Ike's talk and looked around. This is like hell to me. What's the fun of cosplaying anyway? Walking around, dressed as some guy or girl from a tv show or game… Only people who have lack of activity in life would do that.

* * *

><p>A: *Coughcoughsoeventhepersonyou careaboutthemosthaslackactiv ityinlivecoughcough*<p>

* * *

><p>I wonder when that annoying bug will stop bugging me.<p>

"Sakai? Sakai? SAKAI, are you listening?!"

"… If I were listening then there must have been something wrong with me."

"Hahaha! Good one Sakai, look they are selling Rias Gremory pillow! I NEED TO HAVE ONE!"

"*Sigh*" This is going to be a very long day.

**Ike's POV**

"I am definitely taking this pillow with me. Ohoho, from now on I'll have my wet dreams together with Rias-sama!"

"Ike, you do know that you sound like some scary pervert who's not able to get a girlfriend and tries to satisfy his needs with a mere pillow that has a picture of a person on it." My friend Sakai commented with a disgusted face.

I turned to my friend, who had a bored expression on his face. "Says the one who has a pillow with a picture of the girl he's in love with. Last sleepover I heard you mumbling Shana's name every time and I also caught you hugging and kissing that pillow."

"Shana is at least a real person and the only reason I was hugging that pillow was because Shana wasn't there! At least I don't make out with a pillow."

"The author told me you can't keep your hands off of Shana-san."

"… I am going to kill her the next time I see her."

* * *

><p>A: Oww I really want to see you try Yu-cchi.<p>

* * *

><p>"STOP GIVING ME HUMILATING NICKNAMES FOR ONCE!"<p>

I sighed while I watched my friend, who was having an argument with the invisible author. "Sakai, you do know that if you keep yelling like that the people will think that you've gone insane?"

Sakai stopped yelling and gave me an irritated look. "Compared with all the idiots here, who're dressed as a fictional character and are drooling all over some 2 dimensional girls that don't exist. I'm sure that I am the sane one here."

"Sakai, did something happen to your brain? There's no way that you can sound so smart. You never pay attention to anything, and you mostly are veeeeeryyyy dense."

"Just because I am… wait, did you just called me dense?!"

"Look! FREE ITEMS OFF THE ANOTHER ANIME! WE HAVE TO GET THOSE!"

* * *

><p>A few hours later…<p>

I was walking satisfied with all the catch I was able to score; "Another Key chains, my Rias-sama pillow, I got some Accel world dolls. I even got a giant poster of the new Kingdom Hearts game. I finally was able to finish my collection of Fate Stay night puppets that I have. I also saw a life preview of the Wii U and I have to say the graphics look very cool. I can't wait till it's in the stores; I hope they'll release a new Zelda game soon. I already finished Skyward Sword a week after I bought it and I was wearing my Legend of Zelda cap the whole time while playing, using my Legend of Zelda nun chucks. Did I also mention that I haven't slept at all when I was playing that game? I also want the soundtrack of the Last story. There were many levels that had awesome songs… Is that… OMG THE NEW SINGLE OF KAWADA MAMI; BORDERLAND! YESSSS FINALLY YOU HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG I'VE BEEN WAITING TO BUY IT!"

"Yup I have no idea and I don't care either." Sakai replied. "Ike, you shouldn't buy that much. How are you supposed to carry all that? Besides its wasted money, you can download everything online these days."

"Don't you dare to judge, when you don't have any experience on games, manga or anime! You don't know the feeling of your soul that feels like it reached heaven every time you get your hands on the latest volume of a manga, when you finally were able to buy that game or when you finally got that item after months, no years of search. Some games, manga or anime become collector's item after the company stopped distributing them to shops. You have no idea how hard it will be to buy one, the manga or anime that become collector's items have become so rare that they're worth a lot of money and you have no idea how many people would pay their lives for those. The life of an otaku is filled with difficulties, no matter how long and how hard we collect there will always be a new game, manga or anime that we want on our possession, we must work with sweat or sometimes blood to get what we want."

I saw that Sakai was staring at me awkwardly; "… did you just said blood?"

"Eh, did I say blood? I mean efforts, yes efforts and hard work that will be shown by our sweat! Sweat that we earned by working hard and our hearts that will be filled with happiness, thou wait Xenahort, because you'll never get Kingdom hearts! Darkness will always be beaten by the light! ALL HAIL THE LIFE OF OTAKU!"

While I kept on worshiping I noticed that Sakai was sighing and shaking his head in disagreement "… Great my best friend has gone insane. Can this day get any weirder?"

**Shana's POV**

I looked around the room for some hours. For some reason I feel quite uncomfortable and I don't know the source of the reason, or at least I have an idea what the reason for my unease could be. "… Something's off, Yuji hasn't come to bug me for a whole day and he never does that. He would most of the time skip his meeting, I wonder what happened. No Shana, this is not the time to be worried, I finally have some peace. After all that waiting I was finally able to get an illegal copy of the bi-monthly gaming magazine. I should check it out now before Yuji arrives."

I went to my bed and just when I was taking out the magazine that I had hidden under the mattress, the door opened. Oh shit! I quickly returned the magazine under the bed and turned around. I sighed in relieve when two maids entered the room.

"Shana-sama we've come to clean the room."

"Uhm that's fine, but let me get something first. I took the magazine out of the mattress again and walked to the balcony. I saw that the maids gave me an indifferent look."

"Again with her hobbies, I'm surprised she's been able to hide all that from the commander."

I turned around to the maids and gave them a glare. "Remember, if you tell Yuji about this, I'll force you to listen to Alastor singing the opening song of Kingdom hearts and to Shiro's singing an adapted version Hatsune Miku's song; yellow."

"We know, we know Shana-sama. We assure you, we won't tell the commander anything. He told us to serve you and if you want us to keep some things secret we will seal our lips forever."

"Good, now that I think of it, Yuji hasn't bothered me for a whole day. What happened to him?"

"Well the commander got an unexpected visit from a friend of his. He's invited to this otaku convention thing that his friend kept talking about. I think he took the commander with him."'

"… YUJI WENT TO THE ANNUAL OTAKU CONVENTION WITHOUT ME?!"

I hurried back to the room and ran to the closet.

"Shana-sama what are you doing?"

"What does it look like? I am looking for a cosplay costume to wear for the convention! I can't believe Yuji went to a convention without me and Alastor must be having the time of his life now! How dare he betray me! We promised to go to our first convention together!"

* * *

><p>At Alastor<p>

"Hachoo!"

Yuji looked surprise at the Cocytus hanging around his neck. "Alastor, so you are alive I was wondering what happened to you, since you were so quiet."

"It's my first time being at a convention; Shana and I were always too busy to go to a convention. We never had the time or opportunity. I was just soo surprised, that I thought that I was in heaven and fainted."

"That does sound like you."

"So Sakai Yuji, will you buy me a souvenir from this place, please?"

"No."

Alastor frowned, not that anyone can see it, unless you're a pendant whisperer. "But, I am sure Shana won't be happy, if she finds out and maybe a souvenir will cheer her up a bit."

"… I'll think about it."

* * *

><p>Back at Shana<p>

"Shana-sama, you can't. The commander has forbidden you to leave the room."

"You two will come with me then, ah this should do, now for my hair." Damn if only my powers weren't sealed. "Wig, where's a wig?!"

"Shana-sama, we don't have those."

I stared shocked at the maids. "You guys have a; swimming pool, a disco, a bar, cinema, arcade, hot springs, resort, Santa Clause, a tourist office, even souvenir shops, a giant library, an amusement park, an ice rink, shooting hall, aquarium, candy machine, shopping district, but no wigs?!"

"We never deemed them necessary and the commander isn't that fond of cosplaying."

I sighed, of course Yuji hates everything that's relates to otaku. "Then I need to order a wig. Get me a phone, now!"

"But Shana-sama it will take a few days before the wig will arrive, if we order it."

Great, this is just my day. I sighed and stared at the window. "I guess… I have no other choice, but to go for option three!"

The maids looked confused at me. "What do you mean Shana-sama?"

"You two come with me!"

I grabbed the maids by their arms and dragged them with me before they could protest.

**Bel Peol's POV**

"*Huff huff* so, this… *huff* is the place *huff* where our commander was taken *huff*" Damn that author why did she had to cut our stamina to nothing?! We look like a bunch of weak morons!

* * *

><p>A: Aww but Bel-chan it would be so boring if you guys had stamina. This way will make it so much more interesting for everyone else. You should worry more about your idiotic commander instead of me or your stamina.<p>

* * *

><p>"Why, do you always pick a fight with someone?!"<p>

* * *

><p>A: I heard they serve free snacks inside.<p>

* * *

><p>I turned to Hecate and Sydonay. "What are you two standing there for?! Let's go the snacks can't wait forever you know!"<p>

Sydonay sighed; "But Bel Peol, weren't we here to get our commander out of his misery?"

"Who cares, I am sure he'd be able to hold on for a few more hours, however, snacks won't be able to hold on! At this moment a snack could be eaten by a nooby who has no experience on the quality and delicacy of food!"

Sydonay was just staring at me. "Bel Peol, you can't be serious, right? Do you really consider food more important than our commander?"

"So?" I replied while putting my hands on my hips. "You consider Hecate more important than our commander, even though she prefers to see you death."

-_- "Please leave me out of your conversation." Hecate said to me after giving me a cold glare.

"Hecate-chan is something different! No one can compare to her cuteness, besides the commander is on number two in my list."

"Well that's the same for me with food! The taste fills my soul and brings me happiness. I am sure Hecate has also something that she prefers the most."

"Of course Hecate-chan has. That would be me!" Sydonay said with a proud face.

"… You never learn do you? How many times do I have to say it? You and Hecate will never be together!"

"… Uhh… uhhh… WAAAAHAAAA! MEANIE MEANIE MEANIE MEANIE! WHY DO YOU KEEP SAYING THAT! IT'S NOT TRUE! IT'S NOT TRUE! IT'S NOT TRUE! WE! ARE! MEANT! FOR! EACH! OTHER!"

… If I got a coin for every time he said that I'd be rich by now. Not that a Tomogata needs any money.

-_- "Can I shoot him please?"

I shook my head "Hecate, you do know that he's relevant to the plot of the main story. As long as the author needs him, no as long as he amuses her. She'll keep him alive no matter how much you shoot him."

-_- "… Fuck."

"Eh, by the way Hecate what is the thing you prefer the most."

Hecate stared at me for a long time before she replied. I felt like her stare was piercing through my soul. -_- "… That's a secret."

"Ah, okay."

I felt her stare still on me. "Uhm, is there something you want?"

"… nothing…"

"Okay."

Again she was staring at me.

I sighed. "Hecate if something's bothering you I am all ears."

-_- "… are you not that curious about the things I like to do the most?"

"You wanted to keep it a secret right?"

"… Yes, but…. mostly in stories…"

I couldn't believe what she was saying. "Don't tell me you're also into that manga stuff?!"

"No, it's just this one time the Tenjou no Gouka kept on babbling and babbling about some visual novels."

"So what has that to do with your hobbies?"

-_- "Nothing."

"So, nothing about your favorite 'thing'?"

-_- "I told you, that's a secret."

"Let's just hurry or the food is gone by…"

-_- "… I like to play games where I did voices in... and I like Ende from Pandora's Tower…"

"…"

-_- "…"

"…"

-_- "… If you tell anyone I'll kill you."

… Wow and I thought Mammon was the weirdest of whole Bal Masqué, wait he is still the weirdest. He touches himself every day and disturbs everyone that's near him. I took a deep breath. "Don't worry Hecate I won't tell anyone."

-_- "You better not."

"So you can open up to others. Everyone in Bal Masqué thought you were like an emotionless killing robot.

-_- "… Shouldn't we go inside already?"

**Yuji's POV**

I have no idea how long I've been in this hellish place, but it feels like I've been here forever. Not only is Ike running and dragging me from one place to another and talking about his otaku stuff, but Alastor came back from wherever he was and kept begging me to buy every new game that caught his interest. I can tell you, those are a lot.

"Come on Sakai Yuji, try to think how happy Shana would be if she could play the pc remake of FF 7. We both want better graphics of the mission were Cloud had to crossdress as a girl. I am sure even you would laugh at that part."

I sighed at Alastor's begging. "I doubt it." I replied. He tries everything to make me buy those games… I want to get back to Seireden. Attending the meetings and working on the Grand order sounds more appealing to me than having the company of Alastor and Ike in this hell's place. Even the authors insults and remarks are way better… I think.

* * *

><p>A: These chips are delicious and I am riding a train atm, while listening to my iPod. Want some Snake-chan? Maybe I'll give you some if you're able to cross the fourth wall and if you can't, go buy me Kingdom Hearts 3D and Pokémon Black 2!<p>

* * *

><p>… Never mind. She's as terrible as these conventions.<p>

"Sakai! Are you listening?! Let's go!"

"AGHHH! Ike, don't yell in my ear! I am not deaf!"

"But I heard that the author did it once and it sounded funny."

"She did it to torment me and I was asleep at that time! How, can that be funny?!"

"I heard she also shove pocky sticks in your nose when you were asleep and wrote baka on your face." Alastor added.

"… Thank you for reminding me the horrible moments, where I smelled chocolate for days and spent weeks washing my face."

"You're welcome. So will you buy me that game now?"

"I was being sarcastic."

"Sakai, don't be so mean to your talking pendant and give it the game it wants." Ike said.

"Thank you for your concern Sakai Yuji's friend, my name is Alastor and I am a he."

"… weird since when do pendants have a gender?"'

"Well actually I am how should I put it… a demon god who resides in this pendant after making a contract with Shana and accompanying Sakai Yuji atm."

"Ohh, well that explains it. Pretty cool, I thought Sakai had bought you from an antique shop or something."

"We're not for sale."

"So, shouldn't you hide from the church or something?"

"We're not that kind of demons, I am a Guze no Tonmogara, a Guze no Ou to be precise. I come from Guze."

"… What's the difference between a Tomogara and an Ou."

"Our power of course, a Guze no Ou is stronger than a Guze no Tomogara and I am one of the god class."

"Cool reminds me of that mahnwa I think it's called Aflame Inferno. Where creatures called Tedlars, who come from the death worlds take over human bodies. They have weak, middle, high and the lord class I think."

"I know that one, it's a very good story, but we're not completely the same. We devour humans by eating their power of existence."

"Wow that's awesome, how many god classes are there?"

"Well there are only three. Me, one that's in Guze at the moment and the last one is…"

"Sakai right?"

"You seem to catch up quick."

"Nah, our homeroom teacher got a note about Sakai's absence and told us about it. I won the bet against Satou, he was sure Sakai ran away. By the way Sakai the teacher still wants you to come to class. He says it's no excuse to stay away from class, just because you became the leader of an organisation full of monsters and your mom is eh, worried about you."

"I've sent my mother a letter, she should know how I am doing and I already took care about my school matter."

"Okay, but what about Shana's school matters?"

"… CRAP!" How could I forget about Shana?!

"You attend the same class as her and you still forgot to take care of her school matters. I am not sure if you've reached a new level of stupidity or your just plain stupid."

* * *

><p>A: I'd go for plain stupid!"<p>

* * *

><p>"I don't want to hear any comments from you two and especially from the author."<p>

Ike gave me an odd look. "I didn't know that you were this close with the author and what happened to your voice a few seconds ago. You sounded like another person."

"That's just, Sakai Yuji's… alter ego. It's pretty difficult to explain. He comes out once in a while, but he doesn't talk much, unless he really wants to say something. You could say that he was the one that bribed Sakai Yuji in awakening his full self." Alastor answered.

"You mean like a split personality?"

* * *

><p>A: Let's just go with whatever you want to call it. I call it the second personality to troll with.<p>

* * *

><p>"COMMANDER! We finally found you!"<p>

I turned around and saw the Trinity from afar running toward us.

""The strategist, general and the priestess? What are you doing here?"

"*Huff* We *huff* came to *huff* save you *huff* since we *huff* know that *huff* you hate *huff* this kind of stuff *huff*"

"… Let me guess, the author messed you up."

-_- "it looks like she's in the mood to tease more than normal."

* * *

><p>A: Estuans interius Ira vehementi<br>Estuans interius Ira vehementi  
>Sephiroth Sephiroth<p>

* * *

><p>"… Has she gone insane this time?" I asked.<p>

Ike looked at me before he burst out in laugher. "OMG you really are a noob when it comes to this. She is reciting the lyrics of Sephiroth's theme."

"… Sephiroth's theme?"

"Sakai Yuji, you are such a disgrace for us."Alastor responded.

"... What!" I said half threatening.

"Sephiroth is the main villain of Final Fantasy VII. A badass villain that is, he is twisted to the point that he hates everything except for an alien head that he mistakes as him mother."

"Remember that time when we went to my house this one time and we played on the PlayStation for a whole week?" Ike asked.

"No. I remember you dragging me to your house and you forced me to play with you a weird game. About some emo guy who crossdressed at one moment and a creepy silver haired guy with a sword that was too long for his own good."

"Yeah that silver haired guy with the long sword that was too long for his own good is Sephiroth."

"I am sorry to interrupt, but we came here to get the commander back and we won't go without him!" Bel Peol interrupted."

Ike glared at her. "No way! Have you got any idea how long we have waited for this convention?! This is the convention the crème de la crème, the most magnificent event ever, the experience you must have and I won't let Sakai leave until the day is over! If you guys won't leave, then you'll have to join us."

"… But the commander hates this kind of stuff…" Bel Peol muttered.

I sighed. I am glad that at least the Trinity respects my taste. "Strategist you should be aware that I am not here on my free will. Let's go back the sooner I'm done with my duties the sooner I can go to…"

"OMG! *munch munch* these snacks *munch* are *munch* delicious! *munch* These *munch* conventions *munch* are *munch* the best! *munch*"

… She gets swayed by food too easy. I face palmed and turned to the general. "Sydonay, you should say something to the strategist about her behavior, its unacceptable!"

"OMG! Look at all those cute cosplaying kids! They are so, kawaii, moe, sweet, arousing! Come here little kids Sydonay ji-san wants to give you a hug!"

I stared at Sydonay with a blank expression as he started to chase children. … I can't believe that even in a situation like this, they prefer their hobbies over the wishes of their own commander. "Sydonay, Bel Peol! Get…"

"Okaaay, the more people the more fun! Let's go they have an exhibition of the Mario games a bit further!" Ike interrupted.

How come everyone I know are addicted to these otaku things, or gets easily bribed.

* * *

><p>A: Or are both.<p>

* * *

><p>Yeah or are… wait. Who told you to come barging in my thoughts?!<p>

* * *

><p>A: Well, since I am the author of this story, I gave myself permission.<p>

* * *

><p>Does the word privacy ring a bell to you?<p>

* * *

><p>A: Not in this story.<p>

* * *

><p>Ugh I can't believe this is happening to me.<p>

**Shana's POV**

"Woah! I can't believe how big this building is. Are the conventions always that big? It's like I've reached the seventh heaven!"

I kept staring at the building for a moment in amazement. My life dream is finally coming true, not in the way I expected, but it's better than nothing, right? Alastor will feel sorry for leaving me behind and breaking his promise.

"Shana-sama, we should get back now. The commander wouldn't be happy if he found out that you're here."

I turned to the maids who followed me to the convention. "No way in hell! We finally got here and now you want to go back?! I don't care if Yuji gets angry, he shouldn't have left me and gone to the convention without telling me in the first place! I wonder what kind of things they'll have. A concert, market, demo's or anything else?"

"Shana-sama, you seem very excited and happy, unlike the other times." The other maid commented.

"Of course I am, it's my first convention. In Seireiden I'm bored every second; I am not allowed to do anything except for sitting in a room and looking at… nothing and waiting till Yuji appears to harass me! I have no games to play, no anime to watch or manga that I can read; my only little happiness is the illegal copy of the bi-monthly gaming magazine, that I have to hide in case Yuji finds it and that one doesn't even come out each month. Seriously is this how you should treat a girl? My days in Tendoukyū weren't that boring. Shiro and Wilhelmina at least allowed me to have hobbies."

Both maids gave me a pitiful look. "We're really sorry Shana-sama. If you want we can at least try to talk to the commander and convince him to give you a bit more freedom."

"How about you smuggle some manga secretly for me and I won't cause any problems."

"… deal."

I gave them a satisfying look. At least I can have a more bearable life in Seireiden and the bonus is that Yuji won't suspect anything. "Ah that reminds me, do you have a name or anything that I can address you with? Calling you maid or maid one and two sounds kinda awkward to me."

"We're just Rinne giving us a name isn't really important. We're created only to make you feel at ease in Seireiden Shana-sama, but if you insist you can call us whatever you like."

"Okay… now let me think of good names for you." What would be good names to call them? I've played a lot of RPG's lately. I think I know! "Okay I'll call you Cassandra after one of the playable characters from Soul Caliber and you'll be Lightning like the main character from Final fantasy XIII."

"… If you're fine with those names, then we're too."

"Great now let's go!"

**Yuji's POV**

"Look, look, look Sakai! We can take a memorial photo there! "

I sighed at Ike's billionth time of dragging me to whatever activity that he wants to do. The Trinity was just following behind while they are in their own addiction.

"Come on Sakai, smile. The photo won't be good if everyone isn't smiling."

"Your friend is right commander, you should smile. It's the first time we went out like this." Bel Peol said.

"I also agree. Sakai Yuji, you should enjoy this day more. You have no idea how many people are dreaming about coming here, but aren't able to. This is a once in a lifetime event for most people. So you should enjoy it to the fullest." Alastor added.

"… Except that it wasn't my intention to come here in the first place… and I am not enjoying this, how many times do I have to repeat it?! Ike you never listen to me when it comes to your hobbies it's like everything else around you is..."

"Say cheese!"

*flash*

I blinked a few times by the sudden flash of the camera. "… invisible…"

Ike quickly grabbed the photos and scanned through them. "Sakai, try to learn to use different expressions when you're in front of the camera."

I walked to Ike to check the picture myself. "… Strategist… general…"

"What's wrong?! Don't tell me I got some food stuck in my teeth!" Bel Peol asked shocked as she quickly grabbed a mirror from nowhere and checked her teeth.

"No! Something is stuck in my nose!" Sydonay yelled and he started to put his finger in his nose.

-_- "I am hungry." Hecate pointed out.

"… Yuck, I'd never imagine that the Trinity was this gross." Alastor commented in a disgusted tone.

"…" I stared speechless at The Trinity's action. I looked at the photos again and then back at the Trinity. Their… pose is… the same as in one of the photo's…

"_Sakai Yuji, if someone were to find these we'd be sinking even deeper than the Titanic. So burn them as soon as possible." _

_I nodded at my alter ego's comment. "I guess you're right, things already have started to get bad since Sydonay got out of prison and Rofocale joined us."_

"I think I'll keep these as a souvenir!" Ike announced out loud.

"… _We're doomed_."

"_As long as Ike won't show these there isn't much to fear."_

"I can't wait to show this to the others tomorrow! I am sure everyone is curious about how you're doing."

"Whhhhaaaa!? Ike, don't! If you ever show these to anyone! You should burn them!"

Ike looked at me confused. "Why?"

"Can't you see how ridiculous those photos look?"

"But it's a memento for today, besides I am sure everyone will be surprised with your cosplay."

"For the last time, I am not cosplaying!"

"Hey check out that guy in that costume! It looks pretty good!"

"Which character is he cosplaying?"

"I have no idea, but it's a very good costume."

"Yeah he looks like one of those ancient warriors."

"You think it's from a video game?"

"I don't know, but this is the most original costume that I've seen."

"Nii-chan, can I make a picture with you please?"

"… FOR THE LAST TIME! I AM NOT COSPLAYING!"

I tried to get away from those annoying Ike clones, but my attention went to a crowd of people standing a bit further away from us.

Those otakus, just because they see something unnecessary they'll group around like a bunch of gorillas and keep staring like idiots…

"DON'T TOUCH MY COSTUME!"

… Wait that voice don't tell me…!

"Shana-sama, you shouldn't attract that much attention."

"It's not my fault, they started it."

Shana was standing in the middle of the crowd accompanied by her maids. She was wearing a school uniform different form the one she usually wears and her red hair tied up in two pig tails… wait how was she able to get her hair red if her powers are sealed?!

"Commander, isn't that the princess? What is she doing here in the middle of that crowd? I thought she wasn't allowed to leave her room." Sydonay asked.

"That's what I also want to know and where did she get that costume from?"

"Hmm, so she decided to go as Aria from the Hidan no Aria novel. I am so proud of her." Alastor commented.

"Stay away from Shana-sama, you lowly human!"

"Oi, little girl that's some very good cosplay."

"You look so cute in that, did you come alone?"

"Is it your first time in a convention?"

"Want to take a picture with me?"

"Come work at my cosplay café. I'll pay you very well."

I felt like I was losing my temper slowly. No one dares to touch my Shana! I was about to take out my Blutsaugher to get rid of them, but the sound of a gun caught me off guard.

"Move… now!"

Everyone went quiet and Shana walked away from the crowd, followed by the two maid Rinne that I appointed for her. She noticed my presence and turned to face me. "Ah, Yuji, why are you standing there like an idiot?!"

"Shana! Who told you to leave the room, how did you get that gun?! And what have you done?!"

Hecate started to check her pockets. "Where are my guns…?"

Shana sweat dropped, but she recovered quickly. "You went to an convention with Alastor, you didn't informed me or asked if I wanted to go with you… why the hell should I stay in that prison getting bored each day, while you're visiting a convention without me!?"

"No! That's not what I meant. I mean; what have you done to your hair?!"

"Eh?! My hair? Well I painted it of course."

"YOU PAINTED YOUR HAIR?! WHY WOULD YOU DO SUCH A CRUEL THING TO YOUR HAIR?!"

"Well since my powers are sealed, my hair can't become red. There were no wigs available in Seireiden and ordering one would take too long. So I painted it."

"But it will ruin your beautiful hair!"

"My cosplay wouldn't be complete if my hair isn't red. Being an otaku is more important than my hair."

"… But… you beautiful hair… it's now…"

"Yuji you can complain as much as you want, but I am here to enjoy the convention. So stop sulking and let's go."

**Ike's POV**

So Shana-san and some maids that were following her, decided to tag along with us. Well I don't mind, since Shana-san is also an otaku. You know what they say; the more the better. I do wonder where she got those maids from. The only maid that is close to her, is the one that says de arimasu, has a fetish for maid outfits, is a little over protective with Shana-san and hates Sakai's guts. Wilhelmina was her name I think.

* * *

><p>Meanwhile…<p>

"Achoo. –De arimasu."

"Cold?" Taimat asked her contractor

"No, I think that someone is talking about me. –De arimashou."

"Gossip?"

"I am not sure. –De arimasu. But if I find out that it's that damned mystes! –De arimasuka. I'll make him beg for his life and save Shana from his perverted clutches! –De arimasen!"

* * *

><p>"Shana-san, I was wondering, from what site did you ordered those maids." I asked.<p>

Shana-san looked at me confused. "Ordered? What are you talking about? Cassandra and Lightning are maids that Yuji appointed to me and since when can you order maids?"

"Well I once read this web comic about a guy who ordering his own private maid. Well she is an android maid, but she looks, acts and feels like a real maid."

"But Cassandra and Lightning aren't androids. They're Rinne."

"That's close enough for me."

"Wait, you gave them names?" Sakai asked surprised.

"Of course I did, I can't call them maid one and two forever. So I decided to name Lightning after the main protagonist of Final Fantasy XIII and Cassandra after one of the characters of Soul Calibur."

"Good choice of names." Alastor said.

"… I should have seen this coming." Sakai commented.

"Anyway, we should move on I am sure they're still a lot of stands that have snacks waiting for me to be eaten. I am soo hungry." Sakai's uhm red haired servant… I think her name was… Hecate!

-_- "You're always hungry." The Blue short-haired pettanko... Sydonay was her name I think commented.

"I can't believe I am agreeing with the Gyakuri no Saisha and the Itadaki no Kura for the first time, but a day is short and there's no time to lose and yes she is always hungry. It's like seeing the Ch_ō_si no Yomite with her alcohol or talking about it. Besides I heard that we can play the demo version of Super Smash bros. 3D." Shana-san said.

"… SUPER SMASH BROS. 3D?! WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY IT SOONER?! I WANT TO TRY IT OUT!"

I grabbed Sakai by his wrist and dragged him to play to demo.

* * *

><p>There was a long queue when we arrived. Great when will we be able to try the game out? When the day is over and the building has closed already?<p>

"Too bad Ike, I guess we should better go home now." Sakai commented

"No way! I am not going home until I finished this list!"

"… List? What list?"

"The list of things I wanted to do today at the convention of course. You think I come unprepared. Thought I did miscalculated this. I thought that there would be more people in the morning, since Super Smash bros. is a very popular game… dammit I knew we should have come yesterday evening and camp in front of the building!"

"Isn't that going a bit too far, besides that isn't the first time you miscalculated something. Remember the time when we went to the amusement park."

"Oww yeah I heard that they had a special promotion there. There'd be a bingo event and the winner would get a special event Pokémon for their Pokémon Black or White game. So I dragged you all along in the hope to increase my chances. Thought, I didn't expect that Shana-san would start to threaten the judge to win."

"And how about that time when you wanted to see the 3rd Inuyasha movie and forced me to camp with you in front of the cinema to get the best places."

"Yeah I had a lot of fun that day. We got in a argue with some people who wanted to take our place and then you almost killed them, because they pushed you."

"Or that time in kindergarten when you begged the teacher to stop at Animedia on our way back from our school trip, because it was the last day of promotion that the shop was offering.

"Or when I faked my sickness, to watch the Sora no Otoshimonno marathon. Thought my parents weren't happy when they found out. By the way thanks for telling on me Sakai."

"Uhm, guys?" Shana-san interrupted. I don't want to interrupt you, but it seems like the queue for the Super Smash Bros. 3D demo is going pretty fast, unless you want to miss it then..."

"Wait, what?!" I asked Shana-san. "WHY DIDN'T YOU TOLD US SOONER?! I'VE BEEN WAITING MY WHOLE LIFE FOR THIS! I SCREAMED WHILE SHAKING HER HARD."

"Y-y-y-you... w-w-were... t-t-too... b-b-busy... wi-w-with t-t-talking... t-to... Y-Y-Yuji..."

"...oh." I let go of her and she fell in the ground.

"Shana!" Sakai called. "Oi Ike, you shouldn't be that rash with her! She's..."

"Let's go Sakai! Super Smash Bros. is waiting for us!"

I grabbed my friend and ran to the queue.

* * *

><p>30 minutes later...<p>

"Hey kid, the 5 minutes have already passed you should let others try the game now! You've been playing for 30 minutes now!" A security guard yelled.

"But, but I am close to breaking my record!" I yelled back at the guard.

Sakai, Shana and their employees were sweat dropping.

"Ike-san, I know how cool that game is, but wouldn't it be better if you let the other fans also play. It wouldn't be fair to let them suffer." Shana-san said.

"Yes and there are also fans who can only feel the joy of watching someone play, because they don't have a body of their own, besides we can always make an illegal copy. The demo gave us enough information and the Tantankyūkyū is crazy enough to make the impossible happen." Alaster the talking pendant agreed.

"… Who said that?" One of the security guards asked.

"That's just the talking pendant that my friend borrowed from his girlfriend. I think he needed it for a project or something, I think it's for his cosplay." I explained the guard.

"… For. the. last. time... I am not cosplaying!" Sakai yelled.

"Oww well make sure that pendant won't talk too much we don't want people asking for a show." Besides it's almost 14.00 it's some of the promo movies are starting soon." the guard sighed.

"What, movies?! I asked in shock. I checked my watch quick. "OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG, I almost forgot about it! The Mahou Shoujo Lyrical Nanoha the movie 2nd A's is starting soon! We should hurry up or we'll have the bad seats!"

I grabbed my friend and ran as fast as I could to the back of the building where the cinema is located. Except for Shana-san,t he others were staring dumbfounded at me.

"Damn he's right and I also wanted to see that movie!" Shana-san said. "Wait don't let me miss it!" She ran as quickly as she could behind us.

**Normal POV**

So the movie ended pretty quick, well that counts for the ones that actually had interest for it and for Yuji, who fell asleep during the movie.

"Wow that movie was so awesome. I loved the anime, but the battle scenes were better in the movie than in the anime!" Shana commented.

"I cried at the part where Rainforce said her goodbyes to Hayate and the others." Ike said with his still crying face.

"I liked the part were they had to beat the defense program of the book of darkness. Alastor said; "It's just like beating the final boss in a video."

Yuji sighed. "So can we go now? He asked?"

"But commander, Sydonay disappeared. Shouldn't we look for him?" Bel Peol asked.

"I am sure he's chasing some kids again. He'll come back sooner or later."

"Oww, that reminds me." Ike said. "I promised your mom to help out a bit in the house, since your dad is still in his business trip and you were well gone, but now that you're back I am sure she'd love to see you again."

Yuji stopped walking and his face turned pale. "… I- I am sure she can handle without me."

"Nonsense Sakai, you're her son it'll be rude if you don't pay her a visit!"

"But, but, I am sure she'll…"

"Actually I also want to see Chigusa again." Shana smiled. "I am quite worried about her, she must feel lonely."

"I'd love to meet the mother of our commander. I always wondered what kind of woman she is. Right, Hecate?" Bel Peol asked.

-_- "I don't care."

"… You'd care if you see her lecturing her own son because he hasn't informed about his whereabouts or what he's been doing the last couple of weeks." Yuji muttered in a low voice.

"You said something?" Shana asked.

"Nothing, besides we can't stay here too long. I don't have much time and complete Bal Masqué's plan."

"That can wait; also I am sure Lightning and Cassandra were in Seireiden for too long just like me!"

"… Of all the names you could pick you chose to name them after game characters..."

"Okay time to visit your mom!" Ike announced and he ran ahead dragging a desperate Yuji.

And so the day passed when Yuji and the others got back, Yuji was in a state where he felt like his soul was sucked out, also his alter ego ended up in the same state. Despite her struggling and yelling, Shana was forced to wash the red paint off her hair. Lightning and Cassandra found out that the world was much more impressive than what they imagined. Bel Peol was so full of all the food that she ate today, that she immediately collapsed on her bed dreaming about more food, Hecate was very satisfied today, because she was able to buy an entire collection of Ende including a pillow and a plushie, which she will treasure for the rest of her existence.

* * *

><p>At night Yuji lay down his exhausted body on his bed. "Ugh I'd never expected that today could be so horrible." He sighed.<p>

Shana was mocking in the bathroom, because of her hair. "Yuji, you should be happy that you went to such a convention. I am sure that it'll be my first and last convention for Alastor and me! You wouldn't even allow me to cosplay a little longer as Aria!"

"That's because the paint was ruining your beautiful hair! Shouldn't you be happy that you were able to get some souvenirs?"

"… but, but... I don't care what happens to my hair! It's your fault in the first place, since you've sealed my powers!"

"That's because it's for your own good."

* * *

><p>A: *Cough* Don't you mean for your own good."<p>

* * *

><p>"Just shut up! I am too tired to argue with you." Yuji sighed as he slowly drifted into sleep, but something was still bothering him. "Hmm, why do I feel like I've forgotten something?"<p>

* * *

><p>At the Misaki police station.<p>

"How is this possible?! I thought I killed you?! Sydonay yelled in fear.

"Hah! As long as there are helpless innocent children I'll never die!"

Sydonay was sitting being the bars staring in despair at the officer woman who captured him while he was chasing the children at the convention.

"Damn you! Kenka no Nagite, Yu Huan! Get me out of here now! I'll swear you'll pay for this!"

"Hah, over my dead body! You lecherous hentai lolicon! You'll stay here until you've paid for your crimes, or until your commander noticed your absence and pays for your freedom, but for now your only friend will be the other prisoners and your bed!"

She walked away while laughing victorious.

"… great and I was almost done with that cute little girl." he sighed

"~As the cold wind freezes the hidden feelings from within

I crave for a warm body, oh no my head starts to spin

My untouched holy place

Over time will lose its grace

Why do I have to go through with this

the love of children yes that's what I miss

A feeling or even a small touch

The demon who tortured me will... DAMMIT I'LL KILL YOU BITCH!

Please my children come and save me

I miss that feeling and the view I see

Even if it's a little moan for me

Please for a bit let me feel that taste

Not using the love liquid would be such a waste~"

Sydonay's face grew pale. "… PLEASE MISS OFFICER-SAMA GET ME OUT OF HERE! I AM BEGGING YOU PLEASEE! HEEEEELPPP!"

* * *

><p>OMG I can't believe how long this took and again my apologies for taking so long. T^T I don't know why but this chapter refused to be written and it felt like there was no end coming to it. I also feel like this isn't the best chapter so if I disappointed you guys then I am terribly sorry.<p>

Yuji: I don't see any difference, we're all getting tortured and trolled by you again. So what's the big fuss?

Me: Oh shut up you have no idea the feelings and a fanfic writer. We try our best to please our readers.

Shana: But you always feel like you didn't do your best with your chapters and people still like them.

Me: Every author is like that, you got a problem with that?

Shana: Eh not really.

Sydonay: But, but, what about me I am still in prison!

Me: Don't worry, you're always unjailed in the next chapter.

Sydonay: Unjailed? That's not even a word.

Me: From now on it is!

Alastor: uhm, time is almost up.

Me: XD oww yeah well thanks for still keeping up with this lazy me and See you the next time, don't forget to review :D.


	19. The plot is finally proceeding!

OMG she's still alive! Yeah, I am sorry for the super long wait, but I finally finished the next chapter! And I want to thank everyone who reviews, favorites and follows this story, you have no idea how much it means to me and again, apologies for my lateness. So please don't kill me for making you wait super long. *Hides behind Yuji*

Yuji: Why is it always me?

Me: Because I love making fun of you.

Yuji: Can't you get someone else?

Me: Alastor is a pendant; Hecate and Shana are like cute dolls… Bel Peol is a girl, Sydonay is old… so no.

Sydonay: … Thanks.

Bel Peol: Thank you :D.

Shana and Hecate: Dolls?

Yuji: I feel discriminated.

Me: Why? The fans won't attack you, you didn't let them wait for almost a half-year.

Yuji: and whose fault is it that there weren't updates?

Me: I have a life! And I had trouble with writing this chapter. Be happy I made time to write this, even though I'm in England at the moment and I got addicted to an MMORPG game.

Yuji: Sorry, thought I don't see why gaming would keep you away from writing.

Me: Okay, we shouldn't keep the readers waiting. I give Samuel and Centerhill the honor to do the disclaimer!

Samuel & Centerhill: xxxDreamingflowerxxx doesn't own Shakugan no Shana. Sadly she does own our lives in this story.

* * *

><p>Chapter 14: The plot is finally proceeding!<p>

**Normal POV**

After the loss of the Flame haze everything remained very quiet, most of the Tomogara are regrouping or still looking for Flame Haze. Somewhere close to Seireiden, Bal Masqué's commander was sitting in a emo corner mumbling to himself about how useless he is. "I… couldn't even protect her… I couldn't prevent it… I couldn't do anything… I just stood there and let Shana get taken away from me… what kind of a useless husband am I? She got kidnapped and it is my fault… I couldn't save her… I'm so useless… I couldn't protect my only love…"

The Trinity stared helpless at their commander. They tried everything to cheer him up, but nothing helped. Bel Peol and Sydonay felt beaten they've run out of speeches they could give their commander, but nothing helped. Hecate on the other side was just sitting on a chair drinking a cup of coffee that she made. "This coffee is delicious; you guys should try it too. " She looked up at her exhausted comrades and at her emo commander. She frowned slightly at the remaining Trinity. "Has it finally gone through your think brains that the only way to cheer him up is by bringing the Enpatsu Shakugan no Uchite back? Just leave him alone, he'll come up with something sooner or later, since he's that stubborn. Let's just enjoy the silence and the short break while we still can. It's been ages since I was able to arrange my Ende collection."

Bel Peol turned her head slowly to the blue haired girl. "Hecate, you just bought those a few months ago. There's no need to arrange anything in your room, since it's as tidy as a plate after you've washed it."

Hecate ignored Bel Peol's comment and took a sip of her coffee.

"Wait, I got an idea!" Sydonay declared eagerly. "I knew my cute Itadaki no Kura Hecate would say something brilliant that can help our commander become his old proud self!"

-_- "…Can't you just get the hint? What does it take for me to make you leave me alone?"

"How about you turn him gay?" Bel Peol suggested.

Sydonay ignored them and ran out of the room, while Bel Peol and Hecate watched him curiously, only to come back seconds later with a life-sized pillow of Shana. "Here commander, we'll get the princess back! In the main time you can use this pillow as distraction."

Hecate rolled her eyes and Bel Peol tried very hard not to burst into laughter, since Sydonay's action recalled her of a humorous scene that had took place a few chapters ago.

Sydonay held the pillow in front of Yuji's face, but Yuji just glared at Sydonay. "YOU THINK I WOULD REPLACE SHANA FOR A MERE DOLL!" He grabbed the doll and threw it away.

Sydonay quickly walked back to Hecate and Bel Peol who by now where standing close to the door, in case their leader would break out in a rage. "Well, I'm out of ideas. Bel Peol, do you have any?"

Bel Peol face palmed and looked at Hecate. "And I thought the Flame Haze were the ones with the idiot."

"He got arrested by the police several times because of child abuse, what else would you expect? Just take the Enpatsu Shakugan no Uchite back by force, that's what we've done all the time."

"But, what if there are children involved? I don't want to hurt those cute kids!" Sydonay stammered.

Hecate and Bel Peol sighed and rolled their eyes. Both of them had the same thought in their minds; 'idiotic hentai pedo.'

While the Trinity keeps discussing what they should do. Yuji heard Hecate's suggestion, he tilted up his head. "I think the priestess is right." He slowly got up and walked up to the Trinity, though his expression still looked like a lifeless empty doll, or like someone who got his life sucked out. They could see a glint of determination in his eyes. "That fucking hag won't give up until she's completely crushed! Mentally and physically! Send all the troupes out to hunt down every Flame Haze! Don't let anyone escape until they find that bitch and Shana!"

"Understood!" The Trinity bowed and they immediately left the room.

**Chiara's POV**

"I, I can't stand this. No more please. *sniff*"

"Keep quiet Chiara! We can hardly move here, be happy you're able to fit in!"

"But, *sniff* I can't hold on! *sniff*"

"You have too. We know you can do it!"

"But Jack is dying and Rose will be all alone! It's too… WAAAHAAAA!"

Outreniaia tried to comfort me, but since she's a hair accessory at the moment, her only way was using words. "I-I know that it's hard. I mean, they're so good together *sniff* and *sniff* it was love at first sign…. WAAAHAAAA!"

I tried to get a tissue, but it was too cramped in Sale-san's car that I couldn't move.

"Here Kyokkō no Ite."

I took the tissue my colleague Flame Haze offered me and dried my eyes. "This is the saddest scene ever! *Sniff*"

We were all cramped in Sale-san's car, watching the Titanic movie in 3D. Just because the author saw it a few months ago, doesn't mean that we don't have the right to watch it.

"No Rose, don't give up! You promised Jack you would live!"

Sale-san groaned, he tried to take a nap for hours, but since we occupied his car and he was getting squished between the Flame Haze all he could do was watch the movie with us. "Oh come on, you guys have seen the movie a million times. You know the plot already, so stop whining and crying already! It's making me sick!"

Everyone gave Sale-san a glare. "How dare you that about the most beautiful movie ever!" I yelled. "I learned so much about this movie; it showed me that there are people who have it worse than us! We only get scolded, insulted and threatened by that old hag, who only makes out lived miserable and makes us was to kill ourselves, but Rose and Jack have to fight for their love! They only met each other for a few days before Jack dies and they weren't even allowed to be together because of their class differences! They gave each other hope! They learned from each other and that stupid captain ruined it for them!"

"But the one responsible for the crash was a crewman not the captain."

"Who cares?! When they finish building Titanic 2 I'll make sure to destroy it before it has a chance to set sail!"

Sale stared at me as if I had lost my head. "Chiara, you do know that times have changed. They won't make the same mistakes. Besides I wonder how many people would dare to ride it."

"Occult freaks, people who aren't superstitious, rich snobs who love to brag and suicidal people and the ghosts of the people who sank together with the first Titanic!" I yelled with tears in my eyes. "Now shut up and let us finish watching!

Sale sighed and rubbed the back of his head. "That people get so emotional with such a lame ass movie." He mumbled.

That does it! I jumped on Sale, not caring what would happen to everyone else who's cramped in here and gave him a hard beating. "Don't you dare to say something like that about my favorite movie, you asshole!

Outreniaia and Vetcherniaia fumed at Sale-san. "You're so heartless! No one dares to mess with the Titanic!"

"Yeah, how'd you like it, if you died after trying to save your love and people would call your experience a lame ass movie?!"

"… But the story isn't even real… geez."

"Rose… she died…"

"WHAT?!"

Outreniaia, Vetcherniaia and I immediately looked back at the television screen and saw the ending scene where Rose met up with Jack again and all the other passengers of the Titanic.

"The… ending…" Vetcherniaia whimpered.

"It's so sad." Her twin added.

In a few seconds everyone minus Sale-san started to cry. "Waaahaa! It's so sweet and so heartbreaking!"

"After all those years *sniff* they finally got together again!"

"It's so rare to find such a pure love like that of Rose and Jack!"

"Only when she was able to say good-bye to the diamond and her memories she was able to move on to the afterlife!"

"~My heart will go on!~"

Sale groaned in annoyance. "God please release me from this torture." He looked at his side and noticed some unopened bottles of beer between the Flame Haze. "Sigh, I think I should drink myself full until I pass out and won't hear any of your whining."

I gave him another smack on the head. "Stop complaining and try to be more social! If you open up more you you'll find out that…" I was interrupted by the intercom that was installed inside the car.

"CHIARA! SALE! GET YOUR FUCKING ASSES TO TENDŌKYŪ THIS INSTANCE!"

We both sighed. "Geez, what does that old hag want this time?" The Aya no Genkei Gizo asked annoyed.

"We must have lost this round." Outreniaia answered.

"I guess, she sounds more irritated and angrier than usual." I mumbled.

"Okay." Sale climbed out of the car with trouble and stretched his arms. "Finally, fresh air, silence and space! Now let's get moving before she orders us to clean her bathroom and massage her sticky feet."

I climbed out of the car and we headed out way towards our doom.

**Normal POV**

So Shana and the others were locked up in a room for months, thanks to the laziness of the author. Shana was killing her time with some video games that she smuggled with her, Khamsin was just acting like always' looking at the roof as if it was decorated with colors and asking Behemoth stupid questions, Wilhelmina was looking for a way to escape and Rebecca was cursing like mad.

"THAT FUCKING BITCH OF AN AUTHOR DITCHED US FOR MONTHS! I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT SHE'S TOO LAZY TO WRITE ONE FUCKING CHAPTER! HAVE YOU GOT ANY IDEA HOW BORED I WAS IN THIS SHIT HOLE AND SHE THINKS THAT WRITING SOME SPECIAL CHAPTERS WOULD MAKE UP FOR HER FUCKING WRITERS BLOCK!? THE STUPID BRAT IS DRIVING ME MAD WITH HIS STUPID MY LITTLE PONY THEME SONG!

"~My little pony, My little pony

Ah Ah Ah Ah... My Little Pony

I used to wonder what friendship could be

My Little Pony

Until you all shared its magic with me

Big adventure~"

Shana looked up from her 3DS. "What are you talking about? It's not that bad. At least I was able to play Kingdom Hearts 3D and Dead or Alive Dimensions. Well Alpha is quite creepy and Kazumi A is like a twisted child, but the game is great. Also I love it that I can play as Riku and Sora in 3D. I am so happy to see Lea again. Even though Axel died in Kingdom Hearts 2, he's still alive inside Lea. Also I didn't hear Khamsin singing."

"That's because you're addicted to your games. Every time you get to play a new game you shut yourself from the outside world and your brain won't register anything else, except for the game." Alastor explained. "It happens to me all the time."

"You're a fucking pendant! What else can you do except for listening and talking!?" Rebecca complained. "All this time you've been of no use, except for the excuse of being a comical relief!"

"That's not true! I encourage Shana in her decisions!"

Wilhelmina gave Alastor a dead glare. "Like what, agreeing to get bribed?! –De arimasu! Letting herself get stuck with a horny, selfish, obnoxious, full pride and hateful Mystes for eternity?! –De arimashou!"

"Don't say it like that. Sakai Yuji is now more of a Tomogara than a Mystes. He's on pair with me now and you shouldn't insult any god, especially if they give you games to play."

"I don't fucking care! –De arimasu! … he… he took her innocence! He dirtied her! He destroyed her innocent soul! –De arimasuka!"

Rebecca glanced at Shana, who was still busy playing with her Nintendo 3DS. "STUPID XEHANORT! DIE FOR ONCE!"

"Hmm, she looks quite fine to me."

"~It's an easy fee!  
>And magic makes it all complete<br>Oh, My Little Pony  
>Do you know you're all my very best friends?~"<p>

Rebecca's vein popped and she threw a wooden chair toward Khamsin. "SHUT THE FUCK UP! WE KNOW IT ALREADY! YOU'VE BEEN SINGING THAT SHITTY SONG SINCE WE GOT HERE! I CAN'T EVEN GET PROPER REST WITHOUT SEEING SOME PUSSY PONIES SINGING IN MY NIGHTMARES!"

"BE QUIET YOU BUNCH OF SHITHOLES!" Everyone turned frighten to the door and noticed Sophie kicking the door open and looking furious at the group. "HOW CAN I COME UP WITH AN ESCAPE PLAN IF YOU BUNCH OF WHINIES CAN'T EVEN KEEP YOUR FUCKING MOUTHS SHUT?! ESPECIALLY THAT GODDAMNED THING! IF I HEAR ONE MORE FUCKING PONY SONG, I'LL MAKE SURE YOU'LL GET TO HEAR THEM ALL DAY LONG IN YOUR SMASHED UP SHITASS BRAINS!"

Shana and the others all cringed together in a corner shivering in fear. Wilhelmina peered over Rebecca's shoulder and she noticed all the other Flame Haze, that couldn't escape from Sophie's clutches hiding behind a rock. Even thought it was plain obvious that the rock wouldn't help much, the Flame Haze got accustomed, that they felt saver behind the rock, instead of in front of it.

Sophie turned to the rock and walked up to the scared group of Flame Haze. She reaches out to them and lungs Centerhill out of the pile and throws him against a tree. "YOU FUCKING IDIOT DID NOTHING WHEN THE WAR WAS GOING ON AND I ALREADY TOLD YOU THAT IF YOU DIDN'T GET YOUR ASS MOVING AND DEFEND ME, YOU'LL PAY FOR IT! SO NOW YOU'LL MAKE UP FOR IT BY BECOME THE BAIT FOR THOSE BRAINLESS TOMOGARA!"

Centerhill while trembling in fear, kneeled down in front of Sophie. "But Sophie Sawallisch-sama, it's the Enpatsu Shakugan no Uchite they're after. They won't waste much time if you, or the Enpatsu Shakugan no Uchite aren't near."

Sophie sighed and closed her eyes for a few seconds in order to think. She opened them not much later showing an evil smirk on her face. She grabbed Centerhill by the collar and pulled him closer to her. "Then how about we'll get a pillow of that useless petanko from EBay and you'll fly around with it? That will attract enough attention that that idiotic god will show up himself."

"Uh, Sophie Sawallisch-sama." Samuel's head popped out from behind the rock. Still too scared too completely show himself in front of the old Flame Haze, he held his hands against the rock in case he had to make a run for it. "I get the feeling that they won't fall for such an obvious trick, besides something tells me that the Sairei no Hebi will get mad if we use such a pillow as bait. Also no one is stupid enough to believe in that."

"Actually, Bal Masqué has some idiots who'll fall for such stupid traps for sure." Zirnitra reminded him.

Sophie's eyes started to twitch in an unhealthy way. She grabbed Samuel by his collar and dragged him and Centerhill to the nearest tree, where she hung them on a branch. "SHUT THE FUCK UP AND LISTEN TO ME! I'LL EXPLAIN THIS PLAN ONLY ONE TIME AND OF ONE OF YOU FUCKERS DIDN'T GET IT AT ALL THEN IT'S YOUR FUCKING LOSS!"

**Haborym's POV**

Uh, is the plot proceeding? FINALLY! I was freezing out here and we ran out of hot chocolate a few months ago. The author was able to celebrate summer vacation, while we had to be stuck on this cold mountain! Damn, my feet and hands are ice-cold, life is so unfair.

* * *

><p>A: That's your own fault for not bringing a heater with you!"<p>

* * *

><p>"May I remind you, that a certain someone forgot to pay the electricity bills last period and that certain someone is hospitalized at the moment, thanks to an old hag and her stinking kick!"<p>

* * *

><p>A: Why don't you tell your pet fishy next time to be more aware of his surrounding and to ask for a restraining order against Sophie?<p>

* * *

><p>I decided to ignore any other comment she'd say. I mean you can never win a conversation against her. Soon one of my subordinates arrived looking very various. "Haborym-sama we found a group of Flame Haze camping south of here near the hot springs! They don't seem to be in any mood to fight, though."<p>

"Have you spotted the princess, the Shin'i no Yuite, the Banjō no Shite, the Gisō no Karite or the Kishaku no Makite among them?"

"Sadly I haven't. I think these Flame Haze have strayed away from the main forces and decided to hide."

I sighed in disappointment. "Great, the commander won't be happy with the news."

"So, what do we do with the Flame Haze?"

"I have no idea, guessing from how the Flame Haze react, I'm sure they'd gladly sell her out to the enemy and since they've run away from her, they wouldn't know her whereabouts either, since our main priority is to retrieve the princess, I don't think we should waste our time hunting those Flame Haze."

"But didn't the commander commanded to hunt every Flame Haze?"

"Hmmm."

We both crossed our arms and tried to think for a bit, which wasn't easy thanks to the cold. Suddenly something came to mind. "Wait, what about the Tendōkyū? I'm sure they'll be using that as shelter, so if we find the Tendōkyū, we'll find the princess and the demon too. Quickly, send half of our army to look for Tendōkyū and the other half will question the camping Flame Haze at the hot spring!"

"Yes, sir!"

I watched him leave and faced south. "So they're at the hot springs? I always wanted to try a hot spring out… I wonder if they have warm chocolate milk."

**Normal POV**

"It's my turn now!"

"No, it's my turn!

Both Centerhill and Samuel were in a very serious conflict… they both wanted their own POV, but since the author didn't know who to choose it turned into a fight.

"You showed up many more times than I did, so it's my turn!" Centerhill yelled.

"Oh come on, I didn't have much screen time either and I never had my own POV!" Samuel countered. "I can't believe that characters like Fecor and coconut fish Decarabia already had their POV's and their roles are even smaller than ours!

* * *

><p>A: I don't see how their roles are smaller than yours, since both of you are supposed to be whipped out sooner or later and since when did you gave the pet fish a new nickname?<p>

* * *

><p>"Ever since the spring games when he appeared in the coconut outfit. You know they've made a picture of that and posted it on Twitter and Facebook. It's still very popular. So can I have my POV now?"<p>

* * *

><p>A: You know what; I have a better way to solve it through a small competition. The rules are simple the one who wins the most rounds wins. NOW START ALREADY!<p>

* * *

><p>Both Centerhill and Samuel were shoved into a teacup-shaped colosseum and where given some cleaning gear.<p>

Centerhill looked confused at the teacup-shaped colosseum. "Where did you find such an odd shaped building and since when are there colosseum in China, teacup-shaped of all the things!"

"Yeah, also what are we supposed to do with these?" Samuel asked, while holding the cleaning gear up.

* * *

><p>A: Since now! Now go clean the whole thing! The first one who finished wins the first round and gets a lead for the next round! READY START!<p>

* * *

><p>Centerhill and Samuel immediately started with cleaning, but since they've never cleaned anything in their lives they sucked at it completely. They tripped a lot, dropped a bucket filled with cleansers on each other and started a watertight. In the end the result was a draw and the only thing the two Flame haze got were soaked clothes.<p>

* * *

><p>A: Hmm, who'd guess that you two are that pathetic? Anyway next round you're forced to watch some movies, which will become relevant for the next round. Enjoy the movie guys!<p>

* * *

><p>So now they were tied to chairs and forced to watch traumatizing scenes from anime or from their enemies and allies, what exactly is up to you readers to decide.<p>

"YOU HEARTLESS BULLY!" They yelled.

After they finished watching those horrifying scene, they both walked out trembling and traumatized. Samuel just did it in his pants and Centerhill was forced to take therapy for the rest of his existence.

"So-so-scary…" Samuel stuttered.

"I don't think I can function normally after watching that… my live is ruined…" Centerhill commented.

Meanwhile the author was watching them, going to the next destination with an amused expression on her face.

* * *

><p>A: Okay, now that you finished watching let's start the trivia! There will be three questions, the one who answers 2 or all wins! Question one: what's my favorite color?<p>

* * *

><p>"What?" Centerhill asked surprised. "That wasn't even in the movie!<p>

* * *

><p>A: Answer now!<p>

* * *

><p>"Red?" Samuel asked.<p>

"Purple!" Centerhill yelled.

* * *

><p>A: … next question… What is my favorite season?<p>

* * *

><p>"That has nothing to do with the horrible movie we just watched!" Samuel yelled in frustration.<p>

* * *

><p>A: Did I ever mention that it was related to the next round?<p>

* * *

><p>"But you said it was relevant!"<p>

"And when do you come out of that stupid 4rth wall barrier?! Centerhill asked.

* * *

><p>A: Relevant as in it will distract you from remembering those horrible scenes you saw. Anyway last question, when is Shana's birthday!<p>

* * *

><p>"But, but…"<p>

* * *

><p>A: TIME IS UP! The results are… none of you got any points, so no one gets a POV this time!<p>

* * *

><p>Both Flame Haze stood astonished by the author's declaration; they had no idea what to say. "But, but…"<p>

* * *

><p>A: And I'm bored now, so let's skip this and go to Shana and the others. We've wasted too much time on this.<p>

* * *

><p>So as the two stood there in the cold mountain, they realized that all the trouble, traumatizing and humiliating experience has been for nothing and that they were just being played by the author again. So they did what every reasonable man would do… go to the emo corner.<p>

"… What point does our character still have in this story, except for getting bossed around, tortured and being a laughingstock?" Centerhil complained, while he made circles in the snow with his finger.

"Are we that insignificant for the plot?" Samuel wondered.

* * *

><p>A: GET YOUR ASSES IN TO YOUR SLAUGHTER FIELD THIS INSTANT!<p>

* * *

><p>So the author picked them up and threw them into they soon to be… doomed destiny.<p>

**Shana's POV**

So, I am still playing Kingdom Hearts 3D. Xehanort refuses to die and I feel like hacking the game now, but if I'd do that I won't be able to call myself a master of the Kingdom Heart games. Anyways we were all still locked in the small room, suddenly the Kishaku no Makite looked at the door. "Hey guys, haven't you noticed that it's freaking quiet out there? Do you think something happened?"

I held up my shoulders. "Who knows, YAY I finally beat the game and I also got the secret ending! Hooray for me!"

"It was about time." Alastor said. "I was afraid you'd never finish it and you've played it for what? Six months?"

"Two months… I was playing Death or Alive: Dimensions, Pokémon Black 2, Theatrhythm Final Fantasy and Pokémon + Nobunaga's ambition aka Pokémon Conquest."

"Oww yeah…"

I stared at the ceiling. Man not even seconds have passed since I finished the last game I got with me and I'm bored already. "Wilhelmina, have you found a way to escape already?"

Wilhelmina looked at me with an angered expression. "I would have, if everyone else was helping too. –De arimasu."

"Lack of assistance." The Mugen no Kantai added.

I sweat dropped and looked at Khamsin. He seemed to be out of breath from singing all those songs; at least he'll be quiet for a while."

Khamsin looked at his bracelet. "Daddy, I'm hungry and I miss my pony collection!"

"You've done nothing but singing for the past few months and only now are you saying that you're hungry?" The Fubatsu no Senrei asked.

"But I'm out of my little pony songs and my toys are at home, also I'm hungry daddy! I want food! FOOD! FOOD! And I want to watch my My little pony DVDs. PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE!"

"Khamsin Nbh'w, shut up!"

"… Yes daddy."

Or maybe a little bit… How was he even able to come up with My little pony songs for six freaking months?

As I continued with wondering how I'd kill the rest of my time here, the door slammed open and the incarnation of all evil stepped inside. She grabbed us and dragged us outside. "GET YOUR FUCKING ASSES MOVING! WE'LL BE STARTING OUR ESCAPE PLAN SOON!"

The sunlight was blinding us, since we haven't seen it for months. I'd never imagine that I'd consider seeing the sun coming up to be so beautiful, if I ignore the fact that my eyes felt like they were on fire. Know I know how a vampire feels when they're exposed to sunlight. I felt the warms of the sun warming up my skin; it felt good. Anyway after the Shin'I no Yuite dropped us, the Hishaku no Makite started to kiss the ground. "SWEET FREEDOM, FRESH AIR, THE SUNLIGHT AND SNOW! FUCKING SNOW THAT I HAVEN'T SEEN FOR SIX FUCKING MONTHS! I CAN MOVE FREELY AGAIN! FOR FUCK'S SAKE! I AM FREE!" She started to run around in circles out of happiness while waving her arms up and down.

"I'd never have guessed that I'd be happy seeing the gloomy and terrified faces of the other Flame Haze." The Bisai no Ressei declared in delight.

Wilhelmina was also enjoying the sunlight that we hadn't seen for a long time and Khamsin… "FLYING ROCKS! A PIZZA MACHINE! MY LUNCH! A BANANA AND I WANT CANDIES! CANDIES CANDIES CANDIES CANDIES CANDIES CANDIES CANDIES CANDIES CANDIES CANDIES CANDIES CANDIES!"

Uhm, never mind about him, he'll never chance,

"I wonder if I can trade him in for Navi." The Fubatsu no Senrei mumbled to no one in particular after letting a heavy sigh.

Ah, now that I notice I wonder there the Saikyō no Morite and the Gorō no Koite are? I haven't seen or heard them for a while.

"Uh, Enpatsu Shakugan no Uchite?"

I looked behind me and saw one of the Flame Haze approaching me. "Is something wrong?"

"Actually, the Gorō no Koite asked me if I could give you this."

He took out a letter and handed it to me. I opened the letter and started to read it;

_Dear Enpatsu Shakugan no Uchite,_

_I'm sure than when you receive this letter I won't be present. What I needed to say was that it was an honor to have met such a brilliant Flame Haze as you and your comrades. Even thought our time was short, but I learned a lot from you and the others and I am grateful for that. I'll wish you a lot of happiness in your live and that nor that demon, nor the author will make you go through any traumatic and humiliating experience like I've gone through._

Yeah sure, as if Flower-san ever spares someone from being humiliated or getting trolled.

_I just have a few requests, please make a detour to USA and visit my house. The keys and a map are inside the envelope; make sure to rearrange my sock drawers and get my will that's hidden between my boxers._

Yuck, as if I'm really going to do that. I'll ask someone else to do it in my stead.

_And also; GET THOSE BASTARDS BACK FOR SENDING ME TO MY OWN GRAVE! I WON'T FORGIVE THE OTHER DAICHI NO SHISHIN FOR TRICKING ME IN GOING TO HELL IN THEIR STEAD! DO THEY THINK MY LIVE IS LESS INSIGNIFICANT THAN THEIRS! I ALSO HAVE FEELINGS! I DON'T WANNA GO TO THE BATTLEFIELD TO DIE FOR SOMEONE ELSE'S SHAKE! I, I DON'T WANNA FIGHT! I-I-I WANNA GO HOME! WHERE I AM SAFE FROM EVERYTHIGN ELSE! WHERE I CAN BE IN MY LITTLE SANCTUARY LIVING PEACEFULL! PLEASE ENPATSU SHAKUGAN NO UCHITE HELP! I-I DON'T WANNA DIE WAAHAAAAA! WHY ME? WHY NOT SOMEBODY ELSE! I ALWAYS HAVE TO DO THE STINKING JOBS! IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL THEY ALWAYS LET ME DO ALL THE CLEANING, I ALWAYS ARRIVED LAST AT LUNCH BREAK, SO ONLY THE DISGUSTING FOOD WAS LEFT. ON PIZZA NIGHT I ALWAYS HAD TO EAT THE LEFTOVERS, IF THERE IS SOME LEFT! EVER SINCE MY BIRTH MY LIFE HAS BEEN TERRIBLE! WHY AM I THE ONE WITH A SUCKY LIFE?!_

Well the rest of the letter contained more complains and sobs of the Gorō no Koite, while he complains how much his life sucks. I decided to skip that and go to the important part of the letter.

_Anyway, please ask my comrades for their. I'm sure if you tamper with their guilt or black mail them, they'll agree to help you. We always come together in a bar owned by East Edge called; My juicy melons. Again I hope you'll succeed in your ambitions and good luck. _

_Greetings,_

_The Gorō no Koite Centerhill and The Suchō no Tsudumi Tlaloc._

"Of all the most ridiculous letters I've read I my whole existence, this one is the most pathetic of them all." Alastor commented.

I sighed. "Yeah, I wonder how the Daichi no Shishin has survived all those years."

**Centerhill's POV**

So I was sent to my grave… I mean the battlefield to finish my first and only mission off this story. Is my character that insignificant and I get killed when it's my début. Why is it… hey wait… The author is still giving me a POV… SHE TRAUMATIZED ME FO NOTHING!

* * *

><p>A: That's not true! You got traumatized for the readers.<p>

* * *

><p>"… FUCK YOU!"<p>

* * *

><p>A: How immature of you. Anyway I'm off.<p>

* * *

><p>"Centerhill, what are we supposed to do again?" Tlaloc asked.<p>

"Ehh, wait let me check." I took out a note from my pocket and read it out loud. "My important mission that I am not supposed to forget when I go to the battlefield; commit suicide." "…"

"…"

"Did you wrote this or was it the Shin'i no Yuite?"

"I don't know. The way it's written sounds like me, but the demon would be the type to give such a command."

"But, it's a very useless command." Tlaloc mumbled.

So we kept wondering what else should do, since the note wasn't giving us any hints or helping us progressing at al. We didn't notice another presence coming near us.

"Ehh, of all the Flame Haze they could send after us the Shin'i no Yuite decided to send the most pathetic of all, well next to that sissy one that gets raped every Friday evening and the other one that has to endure the Shin'i no Yuite's yelling and insults every day. I'd expected she'd give us more of a challenge to distract us."

I turned around and to my shock Senpen Sydonay was behind me. Of all the Tomogara I could face, why did it have to be one of the Trinity? What did he just called me one of the most pathetic Flame Haze, along with the Saikyō no Morite Samuel and the Shiei no Hajite François?! "WHO GIVES THE BIGGEST LOLICON THE RIGHT TO INSULT ME?! WHO IS THE PERVERT WHO KEEPS MOLESTING INNOCENT CHILDREN TOGETHER WITH A PEDO SINGER?! I AM NOT PATHETIC! HOW WOULD YOU FEEL IF YOUR FRIENDS BETRAY YOU AND TRICK YOU IN VISITING THE INCARNATION OF EVIL AND TO GET INSULTED HUMILIATED AND FORCED TO GO INTO A WAR YOU DON'T WANT TO JOIN IN THE FIRST PLACE?!"

Senpen scratched his chin. "Well, unlike you Flame haze we Tomogara help each other and we do work together, second our leader respect us and he does show concern for us, although he is a bit too proud and arrogant, but he knows what's best for us and he's able to stand against the most hated person of the whole world and finally I know how to defend myself."

"Yeah, like you did when you got arrested for molesting kids."

"THOSE SO CALLED COPS THINK THEY KNOW EVERYTHING BETTER THAN EVERYONE ELSE! CHILDREN NEED LOVE AND ATTENTION AND I CAN GIVE THEM THAT! YOU HAVE NO IDEA WHAT A CHILD WANTS AND NEED!" Senpen sighed a bit and quickly regained his composure. "Great, what am I doing? I'm supposed to finish my task, not get distracted and force my views on someone who won't listen." He took out his Shintetsu and aimed it at me. "I'm sorry, but the commander ordered to annihilate everyone who gets in the way and I can't lose any more time than I already did or the Shin'i no Yuite will escape."

I started to sweat and panicked. I don't want to be killed "No wait! Please don't kill me! I- I have friend and a family! I can't leave them alone!"

"You're a Flame Haze, you don't have family."

"THAT'S NOT TRUE! THE OTHER THREE DAICHI NO SHISHIN ARE MY FAMILY!"

"Are they as pathetic as you?"

"SHUT UP!" I felt something snapping in my brain and before I realized what I was doing I attacked Senpen blindly in rage. Even though they send me to the battlefield and allowed me to become mentally traumatized! I'm the only one who's allowed to insult those three! I attacked him with all my might, but Senpen evaded my attack easily.

We kept going like this for a few minutes until Senpen caught my arm. "We have played enough now, but don't worry I'll make sure to end it quickly. He quickly flew towards me; I braced myself, hoping that some miracle would happen and that I'll survive. Suddenly the air behind me started to glow and the Chōshi no Yomite appeared.

"Surprise!"

She quickly activated her spell and trapped Senpen Sydonay in it.

"FINALLY I AM BACK TO BUSINESS! I hope the readers didn't miss me too much! Man it feels so great to be in the plot again! I was sick a waiting all those months! I was of everyone especially the minor characters to have more screen time than me!" She cheered.

Her partner the Jūrin no Sōga Marchosias laughed. "AHAHAHAHAH! My neglected blonde Margery Daw! With all that booze that you've drunk. I think you didn't even noticed how long you're been away from the story!"

The Chōshi no Yomite glared at her partner and punched him hard.

"OUCH!"

"Shut your trap idiot! No one asked for your opinion!"

I flew up to the Chōshi no Yomite and bowed in gratitude. "Thank you very much for saving me, but why are you here? I thought you were in emo mode back in Misaki City."

"Haven't you read the plot? I've been brought back to my senses chapters ago besides, have you any idea how boring it is not to make an appearance? And since all the action is happening here I thought I'd come up here to help out a bit."

"The Shin'i no Yuite has threatened you to come, right?"

"She said she'd kill Keisaku and destroy all the alcohol bottles in the world. She'll also make sure no alcohol would be produced."

"That's not the only thing! We weren't even allowed to go on vacation!" The Jūrin no Sōga complained.

Suddenly the seal started to crack and Senpen broke out. "Heh, so you finally decided to join the part, well that's fine by me. I don't mind taking out the two of you." He taunted while making an attacking stance.

The Chōshi no Yomite looked confused. "Oi Marcho, wasn't this guy in prison?"

"HAHAHAH… Yeah I thought so too… Maybe they bailed him out. It's not like it's the first time he got arrested."

"Yeah, there was that time with the ancient war, I hear he didn't attend it because the police caught him and at the first great war he wasn't present either, because he got arrested just before he could rape a kid."

"And what about that time in America when he got that…?"

"SHUT UP! We know it already!" Senpen yelled. "Senpen Sydonay had been in prison longer than that he's outside! We've heard it many times already! Can't you drop it? And since when do you know about the ancient war?! The commander told me that you didn't even know about his existence when he picked up the princess."

"Well…" The Chōshi no Yomite scratched her head. "I heard some Flame Haze talking about an ancient war that cost the lives of many Flame Haze and increased the hatred in the world, but I didn't know what happened in that war. I thought it was just some Flame Haze getting tricked by the old hag into killing Tomogara for her so she could ruin their lives. I found out about the truth it after the Tenjō no Gōka explained it back in chapter 4."

"… Well the Shin'i no Yuite was the one pulling the strings." The Jūrin no Sōga mumbled.

"Enough of this!" Senpen yelled, he looked like he really had a rough day. Hah, I'll dare him to spend a minute with that old monster! I'm sure then he wouldn't complain about anything else in his life.

"You guys keep distracting me with your stupid talk how am I supposed to do my job?! That's it play time is over!"

The Chōshi no Yomite looked at her watch. "Eh, you're right it's kinda late. Well I gotta go guys, my cap will be arriving soon."

Senpen and I looked surprised at her. "What? What do you mean?"

Before I could do anything else a shining object came towards us at amazing speed. On top of the shining object I spotted the Kyokkō no Ite Chiara Toscana riding it together with the Kikō no Kurite Sale Habichtsburg.

"Chōshi no Yomite, take my hand!" The Kyokkō no Ite yelled and she reached out to out female colleague.

The Chōshi no Yomite grinned. "Well it was fun while it lasted, but I have other things to do. Bye bye!" She took the hand of the Kyokkō no Ito and they sped off to who knows where.

Senpen and I stood there frozen with confusion written on our faces. What was the point of her coming here if she leaves seconds after making her appearance?

Senpen sighed. "Geez, she never changes, does she? Comes and goes when she wants to, ow well." He rested his Shintetsu on his shoulder, lit up a cigarette and glanced at me. "So, will you entertain me then?"

"But, but, I'm just being send her as bait, I didn't come here on my own free will in the first place! The Shin'i no Yuite wouldn't care if I die! I-I don't wanna die! I-I wanna see places, do things! I don't want to give the Shin'i no Yuite her way!"

"I guess you have a point there…" Senpen answered. "Hmm, okay then, I'll make sure you won't end up worse than you already are. I am sure the commander wouldn't mind, since none of you are doing this because you want to."

"What do you…?"

Before I could finish my question Senpen flew towards me and sliced me in half. After that the world turned black.

* * *

><p>A: You're okay with this Sydonay?<p>

* * *

><p>"Yeah, I feel sorry for him, next to the blonde sissy the Shiei no Hajite and the Saikyō no Morite, he had to suffer the most. So can you call the Tomogara hospital? I'm sure they won't mind taking Flame Haze and I have to report back to the commander.<p>

* * *

><p>A: Thought fetching him up will take a while and I though horny snake was still in emo mode.<p>

* * *

><p>Sydonay turned red from embarrassment. "Don't talk about the commander like that! Author or note, I won't allow it!"<p>

* * *

><p>A: Suit yourself. I've done it since the beginning of the story and I will continue to do that.<p>

* * *

><p><strong>Samuel's POV<strong>

Destruction… everywhere…

The tower… that had to serve as decoy… crumbling…

My body… in pain… and immobile

My nose… bleeding terribly…

The author… I hope something very bad happens to her… for making my last moment the most humiliating, wasteful ones… and for making fun of me…

I slowly turned my head to Zirnitry, who was standing next to me; since he's only an object at the moment… he can't do much… "Neh, Zirnitra?"

"What is it my brother?"

"If-if we're able to reincarnate… I hope we can become Gorons… so that we'll be brothers till the end…

"Me too, I treasure the days I spent with you. You taught me a lot of things and we went through so much together, but we kept strong. No matter how many times that old hag insulted us, traumatized us, humiliated us…"

"Yeah, but we still… we still… we… WHY WERE WE THE ONES WHO HAD TO SUFFER THE MOST?!"

"I DON'T KNOW?! WE DON'T DESRVE THIS, RIGHT? I MEAN, WE NEVER DID ANYTHING WRONG! I NEVER BULLIED ANYONE BACK IN GUZE!"

"ME TOO! I ALWAYS HELPED THE GRANNIES TO CROSS THE ROAD SAVELY! I ALWAYS HELPED PEOPLE WHO GOT LOST TO GET TO THEIR DESTINATION! I ALWAYS HELPED CHILDREN WHO WERE CRYING! WHY DO WE HAVE TO DIE MISERABLY?!"

"IF ONLY WE WOULD GET A SECOND CHANCE!"

"YEAH MY BROTHER, THEN WE COULD… VISIT PLACES WE'VE NEVER SEEN!"

"AND MEET PEOPLE WE'VE NEVER MET!"

We both started to cry. "WE DON'T WANNA DIE!" We cried in chorus.

After a few hours of crying we finally calmed down. I blew my nose and dried my tears, after that I took Zirnitra and hugged him closely while closing my eyes. "No regrets, my brother?"

"Yes, no regret my lifelong brother Samuel Demantius."

The tower collapsed and before I hit the ground all the rock fell on my head.

* * *

><p>A few hours later, a Tomogara squad that Haborym send arrived at the collapsed tower.<p>

"Seems like the other group has taken down this one."

"You think there any survivors?"

The Tomogara started to look around and not long after they dug up an unconscious and gravely injured Samuel in hugging position with his oh so dear 'brother'.

"He's still alive, but he'll need some aid. Let's call the hospital, but be careful I don't want my clothes soaked in his blood."

And so they dragged another bloody victim to the hospital.

**Normal POV**

Now back at Seireiden… things have gotten a lot quieter. Yuji is still in emo mode, since there hasn't been any news about Shana and Hecate and Bel Peol are still standing there lost. One of the patrolling Tomoraga, who survived Rebecca and Khamsin's attack walked by with a stray of food in the hopes he could cheer him up.

"Uhm commander, I made lunch, so if you could please eat something or else you won't regain your full power."

Yuji looked slowly up, but he ignored him and went back to his emo position.

"Uhm… okay, how about we go for fresh air, then you'll be able to come up with a new strategy to beat the Shin'i no Yuite and get your wife back?"

"My plan failed…" Yuji started. "There's no way that I can get her back now. That old bitch won again… she took my happiness away… I can't see Shana again."

The Tomogara looked worried at his commander. "Great, I guess there no other option." He mumbled to himself. "I don't think I understand the whole situation, but if I'm getting this right… THAT'S WRONG!"

He gave Yuji a slap on his head. Yuji slightly flinched. He rubbed the back of his head and turned around while looking surprised at his subordinate. "Diamond, what are you doing?!"

"… for the last time, Dia is fine and you should give up so easily! A man is supposed to protect the ones dear to him and he shouldn't give up until he accomplished his goal! If you're a man, then you should do it too! Well that's what Pearl always tells me thought he always does it with a hot-headed face and he starts to yell so loud that I feel like my ears explodeeouch!"

Diamond turned around to see his friend pulling hard on his ear. "DON'T MAKE ME SOUND LIKE AN IDIOT! I DON'T ACT THAT WAY!"

"Ouch, ouch, ouch, Pearl, my ear, you're pulling to hard."

Pearl finally let go of his friend's ear and turned to Yuji. "Dia is right; you're not supposed to give up! Life is about hardships and it's up to us to overcome them! And as our commander you should be able to do that with ease! With willpower you'll be able to go far in life!"

"Yes, I'm sure that you'll be able to get the princess back if you don't give up!" Diamond cheered.

Yuji got up slowly and walked towards the door. "With willpower you'll get far huh? Hmm, you're right; I shouldn't let myself get beaten by an old hag whose life is rotten away for years! We'll have a change of plans!" Yuji turned to face to two Tomogara with his old proud, arrogant face. "We'll head to Misaki city! Knowing that old hag, she'll appear if she noticed that we continue with the grand order and now that her grip on the Flame Haze weakened drastically she'll have to appear into the battlefield herself! That will be the perfect moment to get my Shana back! Diamond prepare the lunch, I haven't eaten anything after the wedding, so I am starving. Pearl, call everyone to the meeting room!"

"And don't forget to get a cake!" Bel Peol commanded. "We have to celebrate that the commander is back to normal again!"

Diamond and Pearl both bowed before leaving the room. "Yes sir!"

"Neh Dia?" Pearl asked.

"Yeah?"

"How did we end up working here again?"

"Bel Peol-sama begged us after visiting our restaurant for like 5 times."

"Oh yeah…"

Hecate stared after the two as they disappear from the room. She turned to Yuji and Bel Peol. -_-"…Why Misaki City of all places?

* * *

><p>Victim list:<p>

Purson – transformed into a kitten

Urvall – absorbed into Nietono no Shana

Other Tomogara that were victimized by Shana and Tenmoku Ikko – absorbed into Nietno no Shana

Ninjas – absorbed into Nietno no Shana

Samurais – absorbed into Nietono no Shana

Judo masters – absorbed into Nietono no Shana

Sumo wrestlers – absorbed into Nietono no Shana

Decarabia. – Hospitalized

Sabrac – Hospitalized

Fecor – Hospitalized

Centerhill – Hospitalized

Samuel – Hospitalized

* * *

><p>I gotta be honest; I really missed the victim list. Call me mean or evil, but I think it's funny. So I hope I still got it and didn't disappoint my reader with this chapter. Ow and for Rizana who asked me to contact her whenever I update, well you didn't leave any contact info, so it's hard to do that, thought you might want to check out my profile I put there a link of my group where I post my updates. Or else you could make an account and follow this story.<p>

Me: I can't believe I finished this chapter already.

Shana: Yeah and it took you so long to work on it.

Pearl: Why did you give us another cameo?

Me: because I'm a super big fan I well a parody is supposed to be about randomness and references to other media and franchise.

Diamond: I thought it was fun.

Alastor: So when will you finish the next chapter?

Me: I have no idea honestly, I have to celebrate my cousin's birthday, I'll be going home next week, maybe I have the chance to at least make some drafts.

SnH: Just make sure to not tease us that much.

Me: Are you freaking kidding me!

Samuel: Yeah! You saw what she did in this chapter, there's no way that she'll be nice to us!

Centerhill: I need livelong therapy to get over this! *sniff*

Me: Yeah yeah, anyway guys thanks for reading! I'll promise I'll try to update faster, but I also have other stories to work on. So till next time my lovely readers and don't forget to leave a review!


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